More Than Words

Charlie sprawled on the steps of his cabin, nursing a mug of tea. He eyed Bronwyn approaching him, and took a slow sip of the warm, milky liquid. She stood uncertainly at the bottom of the steps, shoving her hands into the pockets of her jeans. 'I took an oath to heal,' she stated. He merely gazed at her and waited. 'I took an oath to heal,' she repeated. 'It goes against everything I believe to euthanize anything.'

Charlie studied the tea inside his mug. 'I didn't like doing it,' he told her. 'I did it because it was the humane thing to do. I did what I was trained to do. It was already dying. Anything else would have prolonged its suffering. I can't condone that.'

Bronwyn tucked a wayward curl behind her ear. 'I didn't come to fight with you about it.'

'Brilliant,' Charlie said sardonically. 'Because there's nothing to fight about.' He pushed himself to his feet and retrieved the mug. 'I'm going to bed,' he said. 'It's been a long day.'

'Charlie...'

'Not now, Bronwyn,' he said softly. 'I just want to go to bed. I'll see you tomorrow after my shift.' He turned to go inside the cabin, but paused and met Bronwyn's troubled gaze. 'I've been doing this since I was eighteen years old. Nine years, Bronwyn. I've got loads more experience in handling dragons than half the blokes in the hatchery. You have to trust me to know how to do my job.' He walked into the cabin and the light glowing in the window presently went out.

XxXxXxX

The pub in Malmö was crowded and stuffy. Ginny finished her drink and set the empty glass on the long table occupied by the Harpies. She sat at one corner of the table, not really engaging in conversation with anyone else, aside from a comment here and there. She couldn't quite believe it had been less than forty-eight hours since she'd landed on the pitch under the goalposts and Gwenog neatly threw her life into unimaginable chaos.

Ginny liked to think that she was far more grown-up than she really was. Hadn't she fought Death Eaters at the mere age of fourteen? Then at fifteen? She'd fought alongside her parents at the final battle well before her seventeenth birthday. Here she was, a month shy of her eighteenth birthday, and she was a Reserve Chaser for a prominent Quidditch team. She had a flat of her own. She could see to her own meals and clothes. But it was the small things - the endless day-to-day details that bewildered her. The sounds of the pub faded around her as she thought back to yesterday afternoon.

Ginny didn't stop to change from her practice kit. She collected her things from the changing room and hurriedly Disapparated to the Burrow. She hit the back door at a dead run, making it bounce off the wall and into her head. 'Owwww!' Ginny rubbed the spot over her right eyebrow, eyes watering. 'Mum!' she called.

Molly's voice floated down from the attic. 'In Ron's room...'

Ginny raced up the stairs, taking them two at a time. 'Mum!' she panted. 'Do I have a passport? Where is it? How do I get one? ' she babbled.

Molly emerged from Ron's room with a bundle of bedding in her arms. 'Yes, Ginevra, you have a passport. Calm down. We had to get one for you when we took you to visit Charlie when you were ten.'

'Where is it?' Ginny demanded, panic frantically clawing at her chest. If she didn't have her things in order, Gwenog might very well demote her before the season even started.

'Why do you need it?' Molly inquired.

'The team's going to Sweden, Lithuania, Italy, and Bulgaria for a month. We're leaving tomorrow,' Ginny said shortly.

'I see.' Molly leisurely made her way to her bedroom dropping the bedding on the foot her own stripped bed. She opened a bureau drawer and rummaged under a pile of Arthur's socks until she came up with a small, purple booklet. Molly thumbed it open. 'It's expired. You'll have to try and get it renewed this afternoon.'

'How?' Ginny wailed. 'How could you let that happen?'

Molly lifted a censorious brow. 'What do you mean "me"?' she asked. 'You're of age.'

'But I didn't know I needed it', Ginny argued.

Molly's other brow rose. 'You didn't read your contract?' she countered mildly. 'Your father and I read your contract. Even though you were technically of age, you were still in school.'

'Uh...' Ginny had, in fact, read the entire document, but had skimmed over some of the details, like travel documents. She had assumed she would only need them if the team made it to the European Cup. It hadn't occurred to her that she might need them for training. 'I forgot?' she temporized. 'With the trial and all...'' The panic rose higher in her throat, threatening to choke her. 'What do I do?'

'You do have a father and a brother in the Ministry,' Molly pointed out, retrieving the bedding. 'I'd start with Percy,' she advised. 'He'll tell you where you need to go.' Molly paused, taking in her youngest child, staring at her wide-eyed. 'The cost might be rather dear, especially since you need to have it by the end of the day,' she warned.

'How much?' Ginny blurted, eying her mother suspiciously.

'Several Galleons, at least.' Ginny groaned in despair. 'And Gin?' Molly ran a finger over the neckline of Ginny's fitted, dark-green shirt. 'You'll want to change first.'

It had been a bit humiliating to approach Percy and all but beg for help. But he'd taken Ginny in hand and led her to the correct MLE office, then guided her through the process of filling out the paperwork and having her photograph taken. They promised to owl it to her flat in Holyhead before six that evening. All for the low price of fifty Galleons. It made Ginny blanch to authorize that much from her brand-new Gringotts account, but it had to be done. It only took an hour to actually create the document itself, even with the spells required to make it look like an ordinary British passport to Muggles and resistant to magical tampering. Ginny couldn't wait. She had to go home to pack for the month ahead, so most of the cost went to the express owl that would bring the passport to her as quickly as possible.

Ginny quietly picked up her bag and left the table without saying anything to her teammates. She slipped through the throng, making her way to the door and the welcome coolness that waited in the street outside, unaware of the glances the senior players exchanged with one another. Once out on the cobblestoned street, Ginny took a deep breath, slumping against the side of the building. In all honesty, she felt exhausted after the past two days. She hadn't quite realized all that her life outside of school would entail.

She'd only left the country twice, and both instances had been with her parents. They'd seen to it all - the hotels, the Portkeys. Molly had handled their tickets and identification to the point where Ginny just had to show up on time. Even getting her Apparition license had been arranged by the school. Bronwyn had walked her through letting the flat. If Ginny bothered to think about it, her life had been remarkably free of responsibilities outside chores at home and her studies at school.

Rousing from her reverie, she scrubbed a hand over her face and struck off down the street. Like London, the most of the magical necessities were located on a winding street in Stockholm. But in Malmö they were scattered amongst the Muggle buildings and shops. Ginny was five blocks from the pub before she thought to glance around her surroundings. It was completely unfamiliar. She turned in a slow circle, hoping to recognize something. 'Shite,' she murmured, raking a hand through her hair. 'Right. We turned onto this street... three blocks from the pub...' She retraced her steps, eyes swiveling constantly from side to side. She turned onto a street with far more confidence than she felt, striding on the pavement for several meters before coming to the realization that the hotel wasn't on this particular street. She reversed direction and hurried in the opposite direction. To her dismay, the hotel wasn't on the other end of the street, either. Ginny shifted her back up on her shoulder a little more, aware of the hair prickling on the back of her neck. She could hear footsteps following her. She slowed her pace, and the steps slowed, too. She walked faster, and so did the ones behind her. Casually, she pulled her wand from the pocket of her jeans and spun around to face an eerily familiar figure. 'Luna!' she gasped. The other girl's blonde hair and pale, protuberant eyes were unmistakable, even in the dim light from a lamppost.

'Are you lost?' Luna asked.

Ginny blew out an exasperated breath. 'Yeah...'

'You must be here with the Harpies,' Luna said. 'It was in the newspaper.'

'We arrived this morning,' Ginny replied tiredly. She glanced around, confusion evident on her face. 'Had a practice with the Swedish team this afternoon, and I've just been following the senior players around,' she admitted sheepishly. 'I don't even remember the name of the hotel...'

Luna smiled widely. 'There's only one in Malmö that's large enough for the Harpies.'

'How do you know that?' Ginny asked far more sharply than she intended.

'I got here right after we got home from school,' Luna replied calmly. 'Well, I went home to visit Daddy for a few days, then came here. I've been given a fair bit of time to explore the city.' She peered at Ginny, noting the freckles standing out in stark relief on her nose, and firmly grasped her elbow. 'Let's have a cup of tea,' she suggested, towing Ginny into a small coffee shop a few doors away from where they stood. She waited until they both cradled cups of tea, Ginny huddled a bit forlornly in her chair. 'Can I ask you something?' Luna began.

'Of course,' Ginny mumbled into her tea.

'I've been following you since you left the pub. I saw you leave and thought you looked a bit discombobulated.'

Ginny rubbed an ache between her eyebrows. 'A bit,' she allowed.

'Were you there with the team?' Ginny nodded in reply. 'Ah.' Luna took a slow sip of her tea. 'Why didn't you ask any of them where the hotel is? They're your teammates, no?'

'Can't,' Ginny said .

'Why not? It seems silly to think you have to wander about like that.'

Ginny sighed. 'I didn't want them to know I hadn't been paying attention.'

Luna blinked. 'But they're your team,' she repeated blankly. 'I don't know much about Quidditch, but I've noticed the more you trust your team, the better it is.'

'I do trust them,' Ginny insisted.

'Not enough to let them know you didn't know where you were.' Luna set her cup down. 'How is it, really?'

Ginny shrugged. 'All right, I suppose.' She avoided Luna's gaze that seemed to look through her. 'A lot harder than I imagined. Physically, I mean,' she added ruefully. 'I could barely move yesterday morning.' She idly stirred her tea, feeling residual twinges in her shoulders.

The sun streaming in the window over Ginny's bed prodded her into wakefulness. She groaned and burrowed into the pillows, unwilling to move any more than she absolutely had to. Every muscle ached, including ones she didn't know she possessed. She cracked open an eyelid, then blinked in bemusement at the small vial nestled on the pillow next to hers. A scrap of parchment was wrapped around it, covered with Harry's scrawl. Drink this before you try to get out of bed. Have a hot shower - as hot as you can stand - and eat breakfast, even if you feel as if you want to be sick. And as odd as it might sound, keep moving today. It will feel better. See you later tonight. Love, H. Ginny winced as she sat up and broke the wax seal over the cork embedded in the mouth of the vial and waved it gingerly under her nose, gasping as the acrid aroma singed her nasal passages. She eyed the vial dubiously, and started to swing her feet to the floor, but her legs ached from her ankles to her hips. Sighing in resignation, Ginny held her nose and tilted the vial over her mouth, shuddering as it burned its way down her throat. She coughed and spluttered, using the hem of the t-shirt she had slept in to wipe her tongue. She experimentally slid one foot, then the other to the rug next to the bed, able to move more freely than she had mere moments ago. She eased from the bed and shuffled to the tiny bath, stripping the oversized t-shirt over her head as she did so. She leaned against the wall, twisting the taps on in the bath, and waited for the water to heat up.

Ginny wasn't looking forward to that day's practice. Everyone was watching her slightest move to see if she would succeed. She was even more certain that some were hoping she'd fail. In all honesty, she couldn't blame them. If she had been in their shoes, she might have wished for the same thing. She held a hand under the spray, testing the temperature, then pushed the curtain back a little before painfully stepping over the edge of the bathtub and into the steaming hot water. She let the water stream over her skin for several moments before slowly rolling down, vertebrae by vertebrae until she could rest her hands on the floor of the tub between her feet. The potion was starting to ease the ache in her muscles. Ginny carefully straightened and stretched her arms over her head, then twisted from side to side a few times before she reached for the cake of soap and a face cloth.

The shower made her feel somewhat more awake and she was starting to feel hungry, even though the idea of eating more than a few pieces of toast was revolting. She shut off the water and wrapped a towel around her hair and another one around her body. She dressed in a well-worn pair of jog pants, more for the ease in putting them on than their style, and a t-shirt that enveloped her frame. She would change into her practice kit at the stadium anyway. A round of strong tea and toast while sitting in the deep, sunny windowsill made her feel nearly human. Ginny glanced at the softly ticking clock on the wall and gasped as she slid to the floor and placed her cup and plate in the sink, promising herself she'd wash it later. She quickly shoved her feet into her trainers and grabbed her bag and broom, Apparating to the stadium while still settling the bag on her shoulder.

Even if she did Splinch herself, it wouldn't do to be late.

'It's hell,' Ginny found herself saying. After all, this was Luna. The girl she'd played with as a child from time to time, one of the few people who hadn't avoided her second year, but made an effort to seek out her company. Luna, who seemed so dotty, but was amazingly insightful regarding human emotions. Luna would never betray her trust. 'I keep hoping it will get easier. The trial was draining, but it was nothing compared to the breakneck pace of the regular practices.'

'And the other members of the team?' Luna persisted.

Ginny leaned back in her chair, swallowing her rapidly cooling tea. 'They're all right,' she allowed cautiously. 'Most of them are.' She looked down at the scarred table. 'Some of them think I'm there because of Harry,' she admitted. 'As a gimmick.' To her great surprise, Luna gave a decidedly unladylike snort.

'Bollocks,' Luna declared. 'I think I might actually know less than Hermione about Quidditch, but professional teams generally don't go for cheap tricks with players.'

Ginny smiled crookedly. 'You know me,' she said lightly, but her voice caught. 'Have to prove to the world I can do it on my own.'

'But you can't, you see,' Luna said placidly.

'Why the bloody hell not?'

'You can't win a game without a team,' Luna replied patiently.

'I don't mean that,' Ginny sighed. 'I mean surviving it all.'

Luna studied her, a sad light in her eyes. 'Didn't you learn anything at school? We won because we worked together.'

'That was different,' Ginny argued. 'That was war. This is my life.'

'Are you going to shut out Harry?' Luna shot back. 'Just so you can do it yourself.'

'Of course not.' Ginny toyed with a spoon, letting the silence spool between them. 'Dad once brought home this stack of Muggle magazines he nicked from someone's rubbish bin. They were mostly about nature. The boys didn't care for them, aside from the odd one that featured women with no clothes on. Those tended to disappear rather quickly.' Ginny giggled a little. 'The articles that featured animals always talked about how the stronger ones would prey on the weaker ones.' She took a deep breath. 'I don't want to be one of the weaker ones.'

Luna studied Ginny closely, allowing a faint haze of pity to come into her gaze for the first time in their friendship. 'Inexperience doesn't mean you're weak,' she ventured.

Ginny shook her head. She could hear Bronwyn's admonishments to allow herself to have a confidant, but to Ginny that was strictly limited to Harry or family members to which she was closest, like Ron, and perhaps Bronwyn. It was one thing to allow one of them to see her in those moments of vulnerability, but for people who were supposed to be able to count on her? 'There are more people on the team thinking or hoping I'm going to fail than those that want me to succeed,' she said quietly. 'I can't let them see me like this.' She pushed her mostly untouched cup of tea aside. 'I ought to get back to the hotel.'

Luna tossed a few coins on the table and slung her bag over her head, settling it on her shoulder. 'The hotel's just down the next street.' She led Ginny out of the coffee shop, striding down the pavement with a mature confidence Ginny had never seen at school. Luna had come a long way from that misty, slightly dotty girl Ginny had played with occasionally before they started Hogwarts. When Luna turned down the fourth street from the pub, Ginny groaned silently to herself. Just one more street and she would have been relaxing with a book instead of wandering aimlessly about Malmö. At the entrance of the hotel, Luna laid a hand on Ginny's arm. 'You'll write to me, yes?' she asked anxiously. Startled, Ginny nodded. 'Good. Everyone has been very nice, really, but it'll be nice to hear a familiar voice, such as it is.'

Ginny quickly embraced Luna. 'Thank you,' she murmured. 'For everything.'

'Anytime.' Luna's face brightened with her smile and she lightly skipped away, leaving Ginny with the sensation that another piece of her childhood had vanished. Ginny watched as Luna disappeared into the city, then turned to face the hotel, fishing for the chunky, old-fashioned key to her room in her bag.

'Friend of yours from school?' Marion asked, appeared so suddenly next to her, Ginny fancied she'd Apparated soundlessly.

'I... Erm... Yes. Luna. We were in the same year. Different Houses, though.'

'Hmmm. Nice of her to show you back,' Marion commented noncommittally.

'I would have found my way back,' Ginny said defensively, feeling her cheeks grow hot.

'How long would you have wandered about before you deigned to ask for directions?' Marion asked idly, plucking Ginny's key from nerveless fingers, and entering the hotel lobby. 'Come on. Let's go inside and have this conversation upstairs.' She strode into the hotel, leaving Ginny no other choice than to follow her to the lift that rose gracefully to the fifth floor. Marion led Ginny to the suite they would share for the next week and used Ginny's key to unlock the door. Marion tossed Ginny's key back to her and flopped on the small sofa under the open window. 'What a relief,' she sighed. 'I'm getting too old to hang about in pubs. Too bloody noisy.'

Ginny tucked the key back into a small pocket in her bag. 'Yeah...' She shuffled her feet uncertainly for a moment before tilting her head toward the door. 'I'll just go...' she muttered.

Marion pointed to a nearby chair. 'Sit yourself down. You and I need to have a bit of a chat.'

Ginny pressed her lips together and perched on the edge of the seat. 'I'm really tired,' she protested feebly.

'You can stay up for this,' Marion said evenly. 'I know you're an adult and can manage your own affairs, but this is a strange city for you. Why did you not at least tell one of us you were leaving?'

'I didn't want to bother anyone,' Ginny said lamely.

'Rubbish,' Marion huffed. 'I've been watching you at practices. Asking for anything is not something that comes naturally to you.' She leaned forward, holding Ginny's gaze insistently. 'Gwenog asked me to keep an eye out for you. To be a bit of a mentor to you, considering you've been put into somewhat of a difficult situation.'

'Thank you,' Ginny replied stiffly, indignation coloring her voice at the idea that Gwenog felt she needed minding, like a baby.

Marion chose to ignore Ginny's tone. 'Gwenog merely felt you might need someone to walk you through the ins and outs of traveling with the team.' She settled back into the cushions of the sofa. 'Why did you sign with the Harpies, if you don't mind me asking?'

Ginny wrapped the strap of her bag around her hand meditatively. 'I thought you were discreet,' she said finally. 'That anything that happened off the pitch would stay that way. And because the Harpies are a bloody good team. I was honored and more than a little flattered that Gwenog would offer me a position.'

Marion snickered. 'That's a classic interview answer if there ever was one.' She smoothed her hair back from her face. 'You trusted your team at school, no?'

'Of course I did! We were all friends. Or at least friendly.'

Marion nodded slowly. 'You have to trust us. We can't play as a team, if you don't trust us. I know Brooke was a bit nasty to you the other day, but put yourself in her shoes. She's been toiling away on the practice squad for years, waiting for a chance to move up. And some mere slip of a girl snatches it away from her.' She held up a hand to forestall any argument Ginny might have had. 'You're a much better player than Brooke, no question. There isn't anyone on the starting side that doesn't believe you shouldn't be where you are. I can promise you that none of us think you're here for any other reason than for your talent.' Marion gave Ginny a long, measured look. 'To be honest, Ginny, it was your demeanor during the trial that gave us a bit of a pause. If you weren't so bleeding good you'd be on the practice squad otherwise. We can't be a good team unless you're willing to be a part of the team, and not just on it.

'Good teams are like a family. You've got relations you'd rather not speak to, save for holidays, and then you've got the ones that are your best friends. There's a reason Gwenog has us train abroad like this. I know you were upset when she said no visitors. You feel like you're out here completely on your own without a friendly face around. This way you're forced to look to your teammates. You have to get it through your head that you can rely on us,' Marion added pointedly. 'Muggle poet said it best. "No man is an island." And no Chaser is an island, either.'

Marion rose to her feet and stretched elaborately. 'Get yourself to bed, yeah? Breakfast is at eight with the team. Get there early. And the next time we're out, and you want to go back to the hotel early, for Merlin's sake, tell somebody. It's not a bad thing to admit you don't know your way around a strange city. We've all been there. One of us will tell you how to get back, or more likely one of us is ready to go, as well, just too proud to admit you can't keep up with the young ones anymore.' She headed toward her room on the other side of the suite. 'Good night.'

Ginny stayed in the chair until the door to Marion's bedroom closed firmly behind her, and stared at the lamp on the small table near the sofa until the flame blurred. She gathered her bag into her arms and quietly tiptoed to her room.

Ginny undressed with the soundless ease won from seven years of sharing a dormitory and slipped into the wide bed, feeling lost. She spent a few agonizing hours thinking about what Marion had said. It was nearly the same speech she'd received from Bronwyn. What's wrong with me? If she'd been at home, she could have gone to Harry's, but that wasn't an option. It wasn't validation she sought. She wasn't a shy creature by nature, and the only way she could explain this unnatural reticence was based in how she felt others perceived her presence on the team. And one of the only people who knew how she felt was Harry. Besides, being asked to put her trust into people she didn't quite know very well put that entire disastrous first year back into her head, with Tom's silky, insidious voice tickling the edges of the memories. Ginny curled into a ball, wrapping her arms around her knees. She felt lonelier at this moment than she had her entire second year of school.