Lilies In Autumn

little_bird

Story Summary:
Lilies don't just bloom in the spring. Harry and Ginny welcome Lily into their lives.

Chapter 14 - Between Two Waves Of the Sea

Posted:
05/13/2009
Hits:
879


Ginny opened her eyes, expecting to see James standing next to the bed, his wide blue eyes, narrowed in annoyance, because Albus needed his nappy changed. Instead she saw Harry, still in his dinner jacket, the tie undone, sprawled in the hard, straight-backed chair next to a bed in St. Mungo's. He was asleep, with his glasses askew on his nose. She wearily closed her eyes once more, as vague memories of Harry bursting through the kitchen door, stopping long enough to pick her up, before he Apparated them both to the hospital.

One of her hands crept up and spread over her abdomen. She nearly heaved a sigh of relief to discover she had not, in fact, delivered Lily last night. That would be something you'd remember, you silly bint, she thought. But if she thought about it, she didn't remember much about delivering Albus, actually. Just random images. She gently pressed the heel of her hand inward and tears pricked behind her eyelids when Lily nudged her palm.

Ginny heard Harry stir and turned her head on the pillow. He was waking up, rubbing his fingertips over his eyes. 'What happened?' she asked hoarsely.

Harry settled his glasses over his nose. 'Not sure,' he mumbled. 'We left the ball early, because you weren't feeling well. You blamed Ron and his sandwich. He took exception to that.'

'Of course he did,' Ginny murmured.

'So we came home, and Andromeda told you to get some plain biscuits for your heartburn - said it worked for her when she was carrying Tonks - and while she was getting her things together to go home, you went into the kitchen, and I went upstairs to check on the boys. Then all of a sudden, you started screaming.

'You just looked awful, so I brought you here. As soon as we got here they took one look at you, and whisked you away back here. Left me in the waiting area until nearly midnight.' Harry leaned forward and stroked Ginny's hair away from her face, giving her a watery sort of smile. 'You scared me,' he said softly.

There was a brief knock on the door. 'Good morning,' Shanti chimed as she walked into the room. She crossed to Ginny's bed and checked a nasty-looking green potion dripping from a bottle suspended over Ginny's bed into a tube that was Spellotaped to the inside of her left arm. 'You gave us quite a scare last night,' she told Ginny. 'You were having contractions, and it was touch-and-go for a while whether or not we could stop them.'

'But I had heartburn...' Ginny struggled to sit up, but Shanti laid a restraining hand on her shoulder. 'Wait... Those were real...? That wasn't just false labor...?'

'It's all right. We stopped it, and Lily seems to be fine. As are you.' Shanti tugged the sheet covering Ginny, and circled her wand over Ginny's navel. The sound of Lily's heartbeat filled the tense, quiet room. Shanti waved her wand at a chair in the corner of the room, and it slid across the floor, coming to a stop next to the bed. Shanti dropped into it, and eyed Ginny. 'We need to talk.'

'Okay...' Ginny clutched the edge of the sheet.

'You need to start your leave now. You will be on restricted activity from now until the day you give birth.'

'What does that mean?' Ginny's brows drew together in a frown.

'No working, unless you can do it all from home. No Flooing by yourself. No Apparition by yourself. No heavy lifting or cleaning, if you're one of those who like to do it without magic. No standing for prolonged periods of time. No picking up James or Albus.' Shanti glanced at Harry, who was listening to this litany of activites Ginny could and could not do with a raised brow. 'No sex.'

'Do I have to stay in bed all the time?' Ginny asked in revulsion.

'No. You can shower or have a bath. You can go to your family's Sunday lunch. You can take care of the boys, within limits. You just need to do less than what you're doing now.' Shanti made a note on Ginny's file. 'If you have contractions, I want you back here immediately. You're far enough along where there shouldn't be any issues with Lily coming before her due date. But the longer she stays in there, the better it will be.'

'Okay.' Ginny blew out a shaky breath.

'Good.' Shanti stood up, and set the chair against the wall. 'I want you to stay here for a few days, just to keep an eye on the two of you. I'll be back later.'

After she left Ginny glanced at Harry. 'So if you're here, who's with the boys?'

'Andromeda stayed with them. She yelled at me as I barreled through the door that she'd watch them.' Harry watched Ginny squirm a little, trying to find a more comfortable position. 'Want to sit up a little?'

'Yeah.'

Harry searched through a cupboard until the found a couple of extra pillows, and returned to the bed, sliding one arm behind Ginny and eased her up just enough until he could stuff the pillows behind her back. 'Better?'

'Much.' Ginny reached up and traced the lines of Harry's face, her fingers rubbing against the stubble sprouting along his jaw. 'Thank you.'

Harry kissed the tip of Ginny's nose. 'What was I supposed to do? Leave you lying on the kitchen floor, writhing in pain?' he snorted. He fell back into the chair and propped his elbows on the mattress, resting his chin in upturned palms. 'I, uh, talked to Shanti last night,' he began hesitantly. 'When she stopped to check in on you.'

Ginny's brow rose slightly. 'Did you? About what?'

Harry's cheeks flushed. 'That thing you told me about,' he grumbled.

Ginny's mouth tipped up in a smile. 'I've told you a lot of things,' she teased gently.

'Gin, please...' Harry pushed himself back into the chair. 'That thing,' he mumbled, waving a hand in the general direction of his lap.

'What, shaving your legs?' Ginny thoroughly enjoyed taking the mickey out of Harry. He could be such an easy target sometimes.

'That thing,' Harry groaned, dropping a protective hand over his crotch. 'Where they snip...' he added, making a scissoring motion with his free hand.

Ginny sobered immediately. 'What brought this on? You haven't been entirely chuffed about the idea since I brought it up.'

Harry shrugged with one shoulder. 'Lots of things.' He ran his hand through his untidy hair. 'It's just time...' he mumbled.

'Oh.' Ginny examined her fingernails, rubbing the jagged edge of one of them with her thumb. 'Are you sure? I mean, it's fairly permanent.'

'I'm sure.' Harry stretched his feet out. 'Why? Have you changed your mind about not having any more?'

'No,' Ginny declared emphatically. 'I don't think I can handle any more excitement like this.'

'I'll make an appointment soon. Get it done and over with.'

'You ought to go home in a bit. Have a nice shower and get out of the finery. Let Andromeda go home, too.'

'Are you sure?' Harry asked doubtfully.

'Yeah, we'll be fine. They'll let you know if anything happens. You should be home when the boys wake up.'

'Right...' Harry stretched, then bent to kiss Ginny. 'I'll be back later, all right?'

'We'll be here.'

Harry smiled and turned his head to press a kiss to Ginny's abdomen. 'See you later, Lils,' he murmured. 'Take care of your mum, eh?'

*****

Hermione pushed the shower curtain aside. The sight of Ron perched on the counter startled her. 'Ahhh!' She attempted to spin around and grab for a towel, but her feet slipped in the wet bathtub and she pitched forward, hands grabbing at empty air.

Ron slid off the counter and caught Hermione before she could fall over the edge of the bathtub. 'I know I'm not much to look at, hen, but I didn't think I was that frightening first thing in the morning.' His long arm snaked around her head, and he snagged a towel from the shelf behind the bathtub, shaking it out and wrapping it around her shoulders.

'Just wasn't expecting to see you there,' Hermione muttered, firmly holding the towel around her body.

'Why?' Ron asked simply.

'You mean other than the fact I locked the door?' Hermione asked sarcastically.

'I mastered -Alohamora a long time ago, Hermione,' he snorted.

Hermione reached for her dressing gown and pulled it on with her back to Ron. Knotting the sash firmly around her waist, she turned back to Ron. 'I didn't want you in here.'

'Why?' Ron was genuinely confused. He and Hermione had never had issues being naked around each other. They hardly ever kept the other out of the bathroom like that.

'I just don't want you to look at me.' Hermione stalked out of the bathroom and went into their bedroom, Ron trailing after her. 'Oh, for God's sake, will you just leave me alone?'

'No.' Ron's hand closed around her wrist. 'I won't.' He flicked his wand at the small pot of salve, catching it in midair as it zoomed toward him. 'Why won't you use this?' he asked mildly.

'Because,' Hermione ground out between clenched teeth, pulling her wrist from Ron's grip. 'I chose not to.' She jerked a drawer open, looking for clean clothing. 'Bloody hell, when was the last time we did the laundry around here?'

Ron bent and picked up a handful of Hermione's knickers from a basket near the foot of the bed. 'I did some last night. Couldn't sleep.' He tossed them toward Hermione. Crossing his arms over his chest, Ron leaned against the bureau. 'I've spent the last two months thinking,' he mused.

'Don't hurt yourself,' Hermione retorted yanking the knickers on under her dressing gown.

Ron flushed, but refused to rise to Hermione's bait. 'And I've gone over everything we did while you were pregnant.'

'So?' She pulled on a pair of jeans, holding her breath to button them.

Ron grasped her wrist once more. 'You didn't do anything wrong,' he insisted, turning her around to face him.

'How do you know?' she said darkly. 'You can't just say it's one of those things.'

'Yes, I can!' Ron hissed. 'You can't always find answers for things or explain why things happen!' he added hotly. 'Sometimes they just do!'

Rose's voice interrupted whatever Hermione was going to say. 'Mummmeeee! Daaaadddeeee! Hung'y!'

'I'll get her,' Hermione muttered tightly, tugging on her wrist.

'Stop punishing yourself,' Ron said softly.

'I will when you will,' Hermione countered. She gave her wrist one final tug before striding toward Rose's room. She heard Ron return to the bathroom and quietly close the door, when she knew he wanted to slam the door. 'Hey, Rosie.'

'Hi, Mummy.'

'Ready for breakfast?'

'Uh-huh,' Rose replied, nodding vigorously. She held up her arms, waiting for Hermione to lift her from the cot.

Hermione swung Rose into her arms, and rubbed her nose against Rose's crinkled one. 'Want to share a banana with Mummy?'

Rose drew back a bit and gazed at her mother with slightly narrowed eyes, considering the offer. 'Okay,' she said reluctantly.

'Let me go put a shirt on, and we'll get that banana, all right?'

'Okay.'

Hermione carried Rose into her bedroom and dropped her in the middle of the unmade bed, making the little girl giggle as she bounced a few times. She dug through the basket of laundry and found a shirt that didn't have any noticeable stains. She held it up and examined it. 'Not bad,' she told Rose. 'Normally if your daddy does the laundry it comes out with odd spots.' She slid her arms into the sleeves and began to do up the buttons. 'I think he does purposely,' she continued, 'just to get out of doing it in the first place.' Hermione scooped up Rose from the bed and began to walk into the kitchen. 'But he does most of the cooking around here, so I can't complain, really. He's much better at it than I am. Never could quite get the hang of it. I was total rubbish at cooking for ages. Not that I'd ever admit that, of course...' She set Rose in her high chair, and Summoned a banana from the bunch on the counter. She dug out a knife and sliced half of the banana onto the tray of Rose' high chair. 'In fact, I've never been one to readily admit I was wrong about something.'

Rose didn't say anything as she delicately picked up a banana slice and dropped it into her mouth.

'It's silly,' Hermione continued, taking a bite of her half of the banana. 'I shouldn't be taking this so hard. I keep telling myself I've got you and Hugo and I know the last thing your father wanted was a large family. I just wish I could stop wondering "what if"...'

*****

Harry wearily let himself into the house, wincing slightly at the racket coming from the kitchen. James was screeching at Albus for looking at his grapes. James dashed into the sitting room, making a beeline for his father, wrapping his arms around Harry's knees. 'Hiya, Sam,' Harry said, surprising himself.

'I'm no' Sam. I'm Jemmy,' James stated.

Harry bent and picked up James, accepting his sticky kiss. 'You used to be Sam. When you were still in Mummy's tummy,' he explained. He hadn't called James "Sam" since he was born. 'Like that book with the green eggs.'

'Where's Mummy?' James asked, swinging his feet slightly, his toes drumming lightly against Harry's stomach.

'At the hospital, mate,' Harry said. 'She didn't feel very well last night.'

'Wanna see Mummy!' James demanded.

'Maybe later,' Harry grunted, rubbing a hand over James' head, attempting to smooth it, even though he knew it was futile.

Andromeda appeared in the doorway, her light brown hair loose around her shoulders, wiping her hands on a tea towel she'd tucked into the waistband of her skirt. 'How's Ginny?'

Harry took James back into the kitchen and deposited him into his chair, where he resumed inhaling his abandoned breakfast. 'She's fine. She'll be home in a couple of days.'

'Want some breakfast?'

Harry gazed at the table, rubbing his hand over his stubbly jaw. 'Not right now, but could you stay a bit longer? I'd like to have a quick shower...'

'Aren't you going to the Burrow later?' Andromeda picked up a cup of tea from the counter, and took a sip.

'I was planning on it,' Harry said slowly, reaching over his head for a cup, and pouring tea from the pot at Andromeda's elbow into it.

'So was I. I meant to stay and help you get James and Albus dressed and over there.'

'Thanks.' Harry wrapped his hands around the cup, inhaling the steam.

Andromeda scrutinized him for a long moment. 'Remus used to do that,' she said suddenly. 'When he'd been gone all night for the Order.' She pressed her lips together and averted her eyes, glancing at Teddy. Ever since the memorial dedication at Hogwarts, he'd been somewhat touchy about hearing about his parents.

Harry caught the expression on Andromeda's face. 'Remus was always one for tea. When he wasn't pushing chocolate on you,' he said casually, giving Teddy a quick look from the corner of his eye. Teddy's hair color rippled through a gamut of hues, before settling back into his normal turquoise. Harry touched the back of Anromeda's hand gently. 'It's okay to talk about them,' he said softly. 'Trust me. He wants to hear it, even if he's not acting like it.' He rolled his head around on his neck, smiling a little in bliss as it popped several times. 'Can I beg one more thing of you?'

'Of course.'

'Do you mind handling things down here a bit longer? I need a bit of a kip. That chair in Ginny's room isn't great for sleeping.'

'I think I can manage that,' Andromeda said wryly. 'Go on. I'll make sure you're awake in time for lunch.'

'Thanks.' Harry looked down at the cup in his hands, surprised to find it in his hands. He dumped it out in the sink and trudged up the stairs, stripping his dinner jacket off as he walked into his bedroom, and dropped it on the armchair. He slumped to the edge of the bed, and pulled his shoes off. Deciding that undressing any further would take more energy that he had, Harry fell backward across the bed, and managed to lift his feet to the mattress before he fell asleep.

*****

Albus stood in the doorway of his parents' bedroom, his thumb in his mouth, his stuffed hippogriff clutched in his other hand. He toddled into the room, and stood next to the bed, his bright green eyes fixed on his father, head cocked to one side as he listened to the soft snores emanating from Harry's partially-open mouth. Albus removed his thumb with a soft pop and pushed his hippogriff onto the bed with both hands until it was wedged into Harry's ribs. 'Dahdee s'eep,' he whispered loudly to the hippogriff, before he ran out into the corridor, squealing loudly as James jumped out from behind a door at him.

Harry grunted in his sleep as his arm tightened around the hippogriff and rolled over, sprawling over more of the bed. He woke up slowly as a dull ache spread through his chest. 'Wha'...?' He rolled off an inexplicable lump in the mattress only to find the poor abused hippogriff squashed into disproportionate lumps. Rubbing at the epicenter of the ache in his chest, Harry could feel the indentation where the beak had dug into his flesh. He held the stuffed toy in bemusement for a moment and straightened his glasses. Albus took the bloody thing nearly everywhere he went, and had to set it just so on the edge of the bathtub during his evening bath. It was quite a big deal for Albus to offer his beloved hippogriff to someone. Harry took a slow, deep breath and pushed himself into sitting up.

He slid off the bed and stumbled toward the bathroom, peeling his clothes off as he walked, leaving them in a trail behind him. A hot shower was his only salvation. No amount of coffee or tea was going to shake this haze.

He stood under the spray, and adjusted the temperature until it was hot enough to sting, but not enough to burn. Last night had terrified him far more than he was willing to admit to anyone. He still had too many vivid memories of the endless hours trying to make sure Albus was warm enough or ate enough, worrying about how much weight he'd gained or lost that week and whether or not he'd stop breathing. Harry didn't think he'd be able to go through all that again. Forcing Ginny to slow down was a small price to pay to buy them more time. Even though she might chafe under the restrictions after a while.

'Harry?' Teddy stood just inside the open bathroom door.

Harry poked his dripping head out of the shower curtain. 'Yeah?'

'Gran says we're going over to Grannie Molly's now. She's goin' to take Albie and James is goin' to Floo w' me,' Teddy said quickly.

'Okay. I'll be right behind you,' Harry said, ducking back into the shower. 'Albie's hippogriff is on the bed,' Harry shouted over the running water. 'Could you take it back down to him?'

'Harry?' Teddy took a step into the bathroom.

'Yeah?' Harry peered around the edge of the curtain.

'Is Ginny goin' to be okay?'

Harry shut the water off, and grabbed a towel. He swathed his hips with it and stepped out of the bathtub and knelt in front of Teddy. 'She's going to be fine,' he said reassuringly to Teddy.

'Is it goin' to be like Albie? When Gran and me couldn't come over for ages...?'

'I hope not,' Harry told his godson. 'That's why they're keeping her at the hospital a bit more, so that doesn't happen again.'

'When is she comin' home?' Teddy sniffed and drew his sleeve under his nose.

'Don't use your sleeve,' Harry automatically said, reaching for the end of the toilet roll, ripping off a strip and handing the wad to Teddy. He brushed Teddy's hair from his eyes. 'She'll be home in a few days.'

'Can I come over when she gets back?'

'Absolutely.'

'Teddy?' Andromeda's voice floated up the stairs. 'We're leaving!'

'Better go, cub,' Harry said, turning Teddy around, and lightly swatting his rear. 'I'll be there in a bit, all right?'

Teddy rubbed his nose with the wad from the toilet roll. 'Okay...'

Harry waited until the roaring sounds of the Floo dissipated before he turned the water back on to complete his shower.

*****

'It feels selfish,' Hermione remarked, folding her arms behind her head.

'What does?' Ron climbed into bed next to Hermione.

'Thinking about it,' she replied quietly. 'Thinking about what we could have had.'

'I know.' Ron shifted so he faced her, and propped his head on an upturned hand.

'Especially since we...' Hermione gestured toward the children's rooms. She blinked rapidly. 'It just makes me feel like such a failure...'

Ron sat up and looked down at her. 'You are not a failure. Even if we never had Rosie and Hugo, you would not be a failure.'

Hermione nodded, and rubbed her nose with the back of her hand. She reached over and plucked the small pot from its place on her night table. Wordlessly, she held it out to Ron. He stared at it for a moment, then slowly reached out and took it from her outstretched palm. 'You sure?' he asked hesitantly. At her nod, he unscrewed the lid and carefully set it down on his pillow. He folded the hem of the t-shirt Hermione wore back, exposing her stomach. 'Stop stealing my Cannons shirts,' he chided, scooping out a small dollop on his fingertip. He gently smoothed the salve over the livid scar. 'Does that hurt?' he asked, his voice seemingly small in the still bedroom.

'No.'

Ron's eyes flicked upward to Hermione's face. Her eyes were tightly shut and her she worried her lower lip between her teeth. 'You're lying,' he said without accusation.

Hermione's eyes flew open. 'It doesn't hurt,' she insisted.

'Then why do you look like you're about to cry?' Ron pulled the hem of the t-shirt back down.

'I'm not,' Hermione said shakily. She took the pot from Ron and replaced the lid. 'Thank you,' she added, setting the pot back on her night table.

Ron sat in the middle of the bed for a moment before he clambered off it and circled around the foot, holding his hand out to Hermione. 'Come on, then,' he said.

'What?'

'Come dance with me.'

'But there's no music,' Hermione protested, taking his hand and allowing him to pull her to her feet.

Ron wound his arms around Hermione. 'Honestly. "There's no music." Are you a witch or not?'

'You're never going to let me live that down are you?' Hermione sighed. She picked up her wand and flicked it at the Muggle CD player on top of the wardrobe. Soft music began to play.

'Probably not,' Ron chuckled. 'I've been worried about you.'

Hermione stiffened and started to pull away, but Ron's arms tightened around her waist. 'I can tell,' she muttered. 'You've been hovering like a bloody mother hen since we brought Hugo home.' She rested her head against Ron's shoulder. 'I wasn't going to pull a Sylvia Plath, you know,' she grumbled.

'A what?'

'Sylvia Plath,' Hermione repeated. 'Muggle poet who committed suicide by putting her head in the oven.'

'Didn't think you were, hen.' Ron paused for a moment. 'Sounds like a right cheery kind of person, though.'

Hermione's hand wound through Ron's. 'I'm going to be all right,' she told him. 'It's just going to take time...'


A long time ago, one of my college professors made my class memorize part of Four Quartets by T.S. Eliot for an assignment. The title comes from one of the lines in the section we used.