In the Light Of the Stars

Minerva carefully lifted Jack's arm from where it rested over her waist and eased out of the bed. She padded quietly across the room, picking up her nightdress and pulled it over her head, glancing once more at the rumpled bed. Jack continued to sleep, unaware of her actions. Minerva stole down the stairs and collected a change of clothing from her bedroom, then back up to the bathroom. She closed the door and filled the bathtub, trying to think about anything than what had occurred in Jack's bed. Regret tickled the edge of her thoughts, but not in a way one might think. It could never happen again. They had stirred as the clock downstairs chimed midnight, cocooned in the bedding. They talked in bare murmurs, as if anything louder would shatter the night, making love slowly, savoring each brush of fingertips against skin.

She quickly stepped into the bathtub and sank until her chin touched the surface of the water. The overwhelming sense of guilt hadn't seized her until she woke up several minutes ago. Minerva slid under the water, hoping she could blot out the emotions she had tried so hard to control.

xxxxxx

Jack yawned and stretched, expecting to encounter Minerva's warm body, but only encountered a cold pillow. 'Min?' He sat up, rubbing his eyes, then glanced around the room. Her nightdress was gone and the only testament to her presence in his bed was the indentation in the other pillow. Jack swung his feet to the floor and found his cast-off boxers and pulled them up over his legs as he walked onto the landing. He peeked into Minerva's bedroom, but it was empty. As was the sitting room and kitchen. 'All right, where are you?' Jack muttered. She wasn't due back at Windsor until the day after tomorrow, and he doubted she would have gone home to her father without a word or a note. She was much more responsible than that. He heard a sound suspiciously like dripping water. 'Should have looked there first,' he grumbled, darting up the stairs to the bathroom. 'Always goes in there to think...' He knocked on the door. 'Minerva? Are you in there?' he called.

Minerva glanced at the door and considered testing how long she could hold her breath and stay underwater. 'What do ye want?'

'Why'd you get up?'

'I wanted a bath.'

Jack set his teeth in his lip and felt a moment of pride for not banging his head against the wall. 'You could have woken me up. I could have joined you.'

'Alone,' Minerva said pointedly.

Jack frowned at the door. 'Minerva, what's wrong?' There was no answer, so Jack tried the door. It was, of course, locked. 'Minerva, you can't sit in there and stew all day.'

'And ye canna stand out there and make bad puns all day!' she retorted tartly.

'Min, let me in, so we can talk...' Jack waited a moment, listening for the click of the lock. 'You know, Minerva, I can just Alohomora the door open. I've could do it verbally since I was twelve and nonverbally since I was fourteen! I can even blast the goddamned thing off its hinges!' He paused. 'And it's not like I haven't seen you naked!'

'If I let ye in will ye stop talkin'?'

'Can't promise that!' Jack braced his hands on the doorframe. 'I really don't want to yell at you through the door!' he pleaded. Sighing, Minerva reached over the side of the bathtub for her wand and flicked it almost disdainfully at the door. It opened a bare inch. Jack slipped into the bathroom and closed the door behind him. 'May I?' he asked, gesturing toward her wand.

Minerva's fingers tightened on the handle. 'Why?'

'So I can lock the door. Reggie's due home this morning, and I don't think he'd survive walking in here and seeing us like this.'

'Where's your wand?' Minerva asked archly.

'On the rug in front of the fire, if I recall.'

'Fine,' she huffed, handing it to Jack.

He swiftly waved it in a complicated series of movements. 'There. Reggie can't get in. Not even if he wanted to.' He gave her back the wand and crouched on the floor next to the bathtub. 'Okay. Now. What's wrong?'

'Nothing.'

'Do you regret what we did?'

'No...' Minerva admitted in a small voice. 'I was just thinkin', aye?'

Jack thumbed a lock of dark, wet hair away from her eyes. 'Okay?'

'Ye wouldna understand.'

'Try me.'

Minerva hunched, drawing her knees into her chest, wrapping her arms around them. 'It's complicated,' she allowed.

'All right.' Jack reached to touch the back of her hand, but Minerva shrank away. Abruptly, he rose and unbuttoned his boxer shorts and kicked them off. 'Scoot up,' he ordered, nudging her shoulder none-too-gently, then stepped into the bath behind her. It was then that he noticed her left hand was bare. It spoke volumes without saying nary a word. She never took that ring off, he'd noticed. She had, however, moved it to her right hand. 'Nobody's going to ask you to forget him,' Jack stated softly, murmuring into her hair.

Minerva barked with bitter laughter. 'I didna think o' him even once last night.'

'Oh.' Jack grabbed the face cloth draped over the edge of the bath and dipped it into the gently steaming water, then squeezed it over her stiff shoulders. 'I see.'

'No, ye don't,' Minerva corrected acerbically. 'What happened between you and me wouldna hae happened wi' him.'

Truly confused, Jack's brow furrowed. 'But I thought you and he had...'

'Och, aye. We did. I meant what happened after. The talking.'

Jack wordlessly coaxed Minerva to lean against his chest. 'Now I really am confused,' he told her.

'He didna know I'm a witch.'

'You were planning to tell him, weren't you?'

'When he came home and we could be married,' Minerva sighed. 'I didna want to tell him before he left. It isna somethin' ye drop on a Muggle, aye?'

'Fair enough.'

'And if he wanted to end it after knowin' about me...' She shrugged expansively. 'I've been in here since I woke up, thinkin', wonderin' really, if I did love him or...'

'Mmmm.' Jack treated her like a skittish kitten, keeping his movements slow and deliberate while he encouraged her to speak, studying her fingers. They were quite wrinkled from soaking in the water for so long.

'Can a witch or wizard truly love a Muggle and vice-versa?' Minerva asked in a harsh tone. 'He - Alasdair - was an intelligent man, but would he hae been able to understand my ambitions?'

'You never quite gave him the chance,' Jack said pointedly.

'I ken that, aye?' she hissed. Minerva's head turned toward the wall. 'But even if he'd survived, and decided to stay wi' me after he knew about my magic, what would I hae been able to share wi' him?' she demanded, her voice tortured. 'No matter what I did, he'd be a permanent outsider.'

'You could have broken your wand and lived as a Muggle,' Jack offered, playing devil's advocate.

Minerva straightened with an angry splash. 'I could no more do somethin' mad like that than teach a pig to play the pipes,' she exclaimed indignantly. 'It would be akin to... to... cuttin' off my left arm because I'm right-handed!'

'Obviously people make it work,' Jack said. 'Look at Theo Grevas and his wife, Amelia. Or for that matter, all the witches and wizards that have married Muggles for the last several centuries. Or how Muggle-born witches and wizards get along with their families. Nobody could have predicted how he might have taken the news that you've got all these special talents and abilities. And if he would have let that drive him away, then he's a damn fool.' Jack paused let his hands rest on her tense shoulders. 'For all the guessing you're doing right now, you might as well ask how many angels can fit on the head of a pin.'

'That's just ridiculous,' she told him.

'Exactly.' Jack slid an arm around her waist. 'You can argue about what might have been until you're blue in the face. Look, I'm not asking you to forget he ever existed. I'd never ask that of you. And I'm not asking for anything you're not willing to give me.'

Minerva nodded, and pulled away from Jack as much as she could in the cramped confines of the bath. 'It...' She hesitated, trying to gather her thoughts together. 'There is so much I can tell ye and do wi' ye. And I canna help but think I would hae to wi'hold parts o' myself from Alasdair,' she went on as if Jack hadn't spoken. 'That is what bothers me.' She gracefully unfolded herself and stepped from the bath, donning her dressing gown without bothering to towel off the water that dripped from her skin. It clung damply to her body. She spun, nearly falling over, and pressed a fleeting kiss to his mouth. 'As for last night...' A frown creased her features. 'I canna promise anything more.' She tried to open the door, but it was locked. Jack leaned over the side of the bath, and picked up her wand, waving it languidly at the door. It clicked open softly and he held the wand out to her. She snatched it away from him and marched from the bathroom, head held high.

xxxxxx

Reggie opened the front door, reeling from exhaustion. He had been able to put a version of the age Trace on several Muggle soldiers, tied to a common phrase they used, enabling his unit to track their movements. He hadn't slept in nearly two days, and was looking forward to several hours alone with his bed. Until the glint of lamplight on something caught his eye. Reggie peered into the sitting room, a groan escaping from his lips. He stalked into the room, eyeing the mess with more than a little distaste. Two plates littered the hearth, covered with the dried remains of scrambled eggs. It would be a pain to scrub them, even with magic. Desiccated crusts of toast, wilted strawberry hulls, and a half-empty bottle of wine completed the picture, crowned with Jack's wand. A discarded shirt hung off the sofa. Reggie picked it up, noting Jack's name stenciled on it, undershirt peeking out from underneath the sofa itself. He pocketed Jack's wand, intending to give it to Jack on his way to bed, covering his eyes with a hand. 'I do not want to know what happened...' he sighed. The only thing he wanted to even consider was that Jack and Minerva had eaten dinner down here, had too much wine and gone to bed. Preferably alone.

Not that he would mind if Jack and Minerva embarked on something of a relationship. It would be something of a relief. They'd been tiptoeing around each other for almost a year. He just didn't want to actually see the evidence. Reggie realized he'd have to start knocking on Jack's door. Minerva's bedroom was hardly larger than a closet, and her camp bed, bureau, and a chair barely fit as it was, and they were under strict orders not to modify the house with magic. And if it were up to him, he wouldn't want to try and do the jitterbug in Minerva's narrow bed, either.

If pressed, Reggie would actually admit to liking Minerva, despite their early abrasiveness toward one another. Given how she had been saddled with the task of becoming an Animagus, something most witches and wizards didn't bother to even attempt, she took it on with a zeal Reggie only saw in Jack. And if she made Jack happy, Reggie didn't feel he was one to argue with that.

He contemplated the sitting room and gnawed his lower lip. If he cleaned the admittedly minor mess, it would tip off the other two that he knew. It would mortify Minerva. Reggie decided to leave everything as it was. 'Ain't cleanin' up after them, anyway,' he huffed, letting Jack's wand fall back to the floor. 'Serve him right if I hid it,' he said to the empty room. 'Leavin' his things layin' around like that.' A decidedly wicked smile lit Reggie's face. 'On second thought...' He bent and scooped up Jack's wand. 'Let him worry about it for a bit.'

'Let him worry about what?' Jack asked, running a hand through his damp hair. It stuck up in clumps around his ears.

'Nothin'.' Reggie smiled innocently, and slid Jack's wand into the back pocket of his trousers. 'You're looking indecently healthy this mornin',' he said, gratified when Jack's cheeks colored in response.

'Just had a good night's sleep,' Jack mumbled, glancing at the floor. 'Seen my wand?'

'Not lately.'

'Could have sworn I left it here...' Jack began crawling on the floor searching under the sofa. 'Want breakfast before you head up to bed? I'll cook it...' he said distractedly. 'Damn it, damn it, damn it...' He looked up at Reggie, a small grin playing across Reggie's wide mouth. 'What?'

'I'll just go get some coffee goin'.'

'Great...' Jack rose to his knees. 'I knew it was here when I went up last night.'

'I'll help ya look for it later,' Reggie sighed. 'After I get some coffee in me.' He adjusted his jacket so it hid the wand. 'Probably right under your nose.'

'Yeah.' Jack gazed around the room unhappily. It was the wand he'd had since he started school at the age of eleven. Willow with unicorn hair. His grandmother had been most pleased. A willow, she told him, might look weak, with its drooping branches, but it was a survivor. It would bend in the strongest winds and never break. And strength was knowing when to bend with the winds and when to take a stand. It was a part of his hand, nearly. It seemed to intuitively know what he wanted. It would make Jack extraordinarily unhappy to lose it. And as much as he had enjoyed his foray into Ollivander's, he didn't think he'd be able to find a suitable successor for his beloved wand. 'I'll look some more after breakfast.'

xxxxxx

The owl swooped through the open window and dropped an envelope on Minerva's half-eaten breakfast. 'Ruddy beast,' she muttered mutinously, glaring at the haughty barn owl. 'Ye did that deliberately,' she accused it. The owl merely ruffled its feathers.

'Nice bird,' Reggie snorted. The owl's eyes narrowed at him, and Reggie could have sworn the owl actually snorted at him.

'No, it isn't,' Minerva said. 'It's Da's owl. Name of Fergus.' The owl preened at the sound of his name. 'Enjoys droppin' my post on my plate. Especially in somethin' sticky. Like jam.' Fergus hooted. Minerva suspected he was laughing at her. She wouldn't put it past him. She wiped eggy residue off the edge of the envelope and began to open it. Fergus hooted imperiously at her. 'I dinna hae anythin' for ye,' she told him. 'We're on rations.'

Reggie tore off the crusts of his slice of toast and held them out to Fergus. 'Here. You can have this.' The owl amused him. That alone was worth something.

Minerva pulled out the letter inside the envelope and a pungent Gaelic oath dropped from her lips. 'Da's comin' for a visit,' she announced. 'Hopin' to stay for a few days.'

'He can sleep in my room,' Reggie offered. 'Especially since Tony and Frankie ain't here. I can sleep on that couch in the other room for a couplea days.'

'He'll be here on Sunday,' Minerva said over the edge of the letter. Another string of Gaelic obscenities fell from her lips. 'I'm back at Windsor on Saturday until Monday mornin'.' She gestured to the collection of cobwebs and dust in the corners.

'Don't worry, we'll clean up,' Jack said hurriedly. 'We can do it.' He drained his coffee. 'As soon as I find my wand...'

Several hours later, after Jack had looked under every bed in the house, every chair, every bureau, turned out countless drawers, and rooted through all his clothing; as he sat on the top stair cursing in a hodge-podge of English and Japanese, something dangled in front of his face. 'Missing something?' Reggie drawled. Jack's head snapped back and his nose bumped into the tip of his wand.

'Where did you find it?' he yelled.

'On that rug in front of the fire this mornin'. Oughta be more careful with your stuff,' Reggie instructed smugly.

Jack snatched the wand from where Reggie held it levitating over his head. 'Thanks.' He polished the fingerprints from the shaft with his shirttail and slowly raised his head. 'You had it all along, didn't you?'

'You're lucky I didn't put a Disillusionment charm on it,' Reggie said by way of a reply. 'Pretty careless of ya, -Captain.'

'Go to hell,' Jack said pleasantly.

Minerva emerged from her bedroom, with an armful of clothing. 'I hope the two of ye dinna intend to do that when Da's here.'

Reggie grinned guilelessly. 'I don't think it's me an' Jack you gotta worry about,' he said knowingly, gratified to see roses bloom in her cheeks. 'I'm turnin' in. I really wanna sleep until breakfast tomorrow, so keep it down.' He marched into his bedroom, whistling softly.

'He knows,' Minerva breathed, as soon as the door closed behind Reggie.

'Oh, I'd bet on it,' Jack agreed. 'He's going to be a holy terror when your dad's here.'

xxxxxx

Minerva lay in bed, idly tapping her fingers against the wool blanket draped over her chest. Last night had been one of the best nights of sleep she'd had since Alasdair joined the army. Perhaps Augusta was right in that she needn't remain alone for the rest of her life. After all, Alasdair was dead and he wasn't going to come walking through the door. Was a year enough time to move on with her life? Or was it too unseemly? Either way, they weren't questions she was going to be able to answer alone. However, she wasn't about to openly make the trek two floors up and risk having Reggie see her. As the clock downstairs struck midnight, Minerva grinned mischievously and dropped her dressing gown and nightdress to the floor, then transformed and nosed her way through the gap between the door frame and her door. She quietly padded up the stairs, an amused purr rumbling through her throat. No wonder Animagi were required to register with the Ministry. It was amazing the amount of mischief she could contemplate, now that she had this specialized skill. She crept into Jack's bedroom and lightly leapt to the foot of the bed. He snorted and flopped to his back. Minerva paced up the bed and crawled on Jack's chest, tucking her feet under her. She reached out and nuzzled his nose with hers, whiskers twitching. Jack's hand drifted up and began to stroke her back. 'When did we get a cat?' he murmured hazily. Suddenly, the cat's weight shifted and lengthened, and his hand rested on Minerva's bare back. 'Jesus H. Christ!' he shouted in alarm.

Footsteps pounded on the stairs, and Jack instinctively pushed Minerva unceremoniously off his body and quickly tapped her on the top of her head. She shimmered and disappeared. Fortunately, the bedding was mussed enough so that the indentation she made in the mattress wasn't very noticeable. Reggie burst through the door, wand aloft, tip already glowing. 'What? What?'

'Bad dream,' Jack explained breathlessly. 'Just... I'm okay.'

'Don't yell like that,' Reggie complained. 'Woke me up...'

'Sorry.'

'Night...' Reggie retreated and closed the door behind him.

Jack removed the charm on Minerva and frowned down at her. She had her fist stuffed in her mouth to stifle her giggles. 'I ought to spank you,' he growled.

'I'd like to see ye try,' Minerva retorted cheerfully.

Jack pinned her to the bed, flinging his dog tags over his shoulder. 'Still going to make you pay for that little stunt, kitty-cat.' He lowered his mouth to the delicate skin under her ear. 'Starting here...' He paused, lips grazing against her neck. 'Remember. Don't wake up Reggie.'

'I willna,' Minerva promised. 'Canna say the same about you.'

The clock's chimes were lost to both of them. Jack didn't know what time it was when he dragged a hand down Minerva's back. She stared at him with wide, unblinking eyes. 'Is it wrong for me t' be here?'

'You're asking the wrong person. I don't seem to be making you leave.'

'It isna too soon?'

Jack sighed and ran his hand over the back of her head. 'If it was me... If I had a girl back home - and I don't!' he added quickly. 'I wouldn't expect her to wear black for years for me. I didn't know your guy, but I can't imagine he'd expect you to, either.' Minerva shrugged, face growing pensive. 'Tell me about him,' he urged. He wasn't exactly keen on hearing Minerva speak of another man while she occupied his bed, but obviously, Alasdair MacDonald weighed heavily on her mind.

Minerva's shoulders hitched. 'There isna much to tell. There is, but...'

'What did he look like?'

'Tall. Taller than ye are. Brown eyes. Red-brown hair. Liked to wear a kilt now and again.'

'Nothing says manliness like a man in a plaid skirt,' Jack hooted softly.

'It isna a skirt!' Minerva protested indignantly.

'Oh, calm down,' Jack chuckled. 'Just making a joke.'

'A verra poor one.'

'So what else?'

'Orphaned. Father died before the war, and his mum died in the Blitz. A braw and bonny lad, he was.' She heaved a sigh, softer than a spring breeze. 'Was. It doesna quite pain me so to speak o' him now.'

'And that plaid thing you wear when it's cold?'

'It was his. Left it to me.' Her chin trembled momentarily. 'Had a letter sent to me when he died.' She held up her right hand. 'The ring symbolizes friendship, loyalty, and love. He mentioned it in the letter. To the end.'

'No wonder you're torn,' Jack mused. 'He didn't make it clear, did he? Not much better than that Professor Dumbledore you look up to so much.'

'That isna fair,' Minerva objected.

'Neither is making you think you're making some sort of horrible mistake.' Jack traced her lower lip with his thumb. 'Does it feel like a mistake? Someone who can look as deeply into themselves to become an Animagus ought to be able to figure that out.'

Minerva's eyes closed and she pressed herself against Jack. 'Not in this moment, nor within these four walls,' she allowed.

Jack said nothing, but feathered a soft kiss over her mouth. It was a start.

xxxxxx

Minerva rubbed her gritty eyes under the lenses of her glasses. Edward Hawley, her supervisor, had sent her home from Windsor a bit early. She wasn't scheduled for relief until the following morning, but two days earlier, the Germans began bombing Britain once again in retaliation for the Normandy invasion and no one had slept since it started. It was D+9, according to Jack, but to everyone else, it was June fifteenth. The bombs had been intermittent at first, but steadily increased. They were rather frightening in that the Germans didn't need an aero plane to bring them to Britain. They could launch them across the formidable English Channel. Furthermore, just before they landed, their motorbike sputtering suddenly died and they fell with a deadly silence. The air raid sirens blared every night since, and her father hadn't been pleased about going into a shelter.

Flickering lights glowed over the horizon, and Minerva studied them carefully. They seemed to come from the same area as the house. Her steps quickened until she sprinted down the dark streets, toward that orange glimmer. She skidded to a halt at the end of the street, mouth falling open. The side of their house was in flames. 'No...' she breathed, praying Jack, Reggie, and her father were safely in the Underground shelter.

'Sirens didn't sound,' an elderly neighbor commented. 'That lot doesn't leave unless it does.'

Minerva's body stiffened, and she ducked in the shadows, transforming into her Animagus form. She darted through the gathered crowd and ran into the broken-in front door. Once inside, she cast several charms to protect herself from the flames licking at the walls. 'Da!' she screamed. 'Da! Reggie! Jack! Answer me!' She looked wildly around. 'Da!' she shrieked. The bottom of the stairs was engulfed, so Minerva Apparated to Reggie, Tony, and Frankie's bedroom. It was empty. Maybe they got out... she thought desperately, Apparating to Jack's bedroom. It, too, was unoccupied. She Apparated to the sitting-room, then the kitchen. The wall that faced the back garden was a pile of rubble. 'Da! Jack! Reggie!'

A groan worked its way through the noise. Minerva spun around. Angus lay on the floor, half-buried by shattered bricks. She Banished the broken masonry away and stroked Angus' tangled hair from his face. 'Dinna fret, Da. I'll get ye out...' She tapped him with her wand, levitating him just enough so she could slip her arms around his broad chest. 'I'm goin' t' Side-Along ye.' Angus didn't reply, but Minerva Apparated them to the front door, pausing long enough to set charms on Angus. She dragged him bodily to the street, ignoring the milling crowd. 'Da...' She shook him vigorously. 'Da...' Undaunted, she began to attempt the artificial respiration she dredged up from the ATS. 'Come on, Da... If ye dinna wake up, I will kill ye!'

A neighbor gently picked up Angus' wrist, searching for a pulse. 'I don' think he's goin' to be hearin' you, luv.'

'No...' Minerva's hands fisted in the front of Angus' robes. Her voice broke. 'Da... Dinna leave me... I canna lose ye as well...'