Harry Potter and the Shadow War

Chapter 12 - Home Again

Harry watched as the subterranean cavern of Epsilon III was replaced by the familiar portraits and whirring devices of Professor Dumbledore's office. And there was the old wizard himself, seated at his desk and peering at them over his half-moon spectacles.

"Right on time," Dumbledore commented, smiling. "How was your trip?"

He said this for all the world as though they'd simply been on holiday. Not that Harry would really know that, as he had never been on a simple holiday in his life. Still, as happy as Harry was to be back at Hogwarts, he was surprised to discover that he was also a little disappointed. The other world they had visited had been strange and dangerous, but being there had somehow allowed Harry to forget the obligations and burdens of this world. Now, they came crashing back down upon him.

"It was...interesting," was all Harry could think of to say as he and the others put away their time devices.

"Mr. Weasley, Miss Weasley," Dumbledore said, looking to Ron and Ginny. "Your mother tried to send you a letter while you were away. Quite unfortunate that the timing of the post had to coincide with the few hours you were gone. Errol attempted to find you, but I gather he caused some disturbance on Babylon 5. Frightened, he returned here and delivered the letter to me."

Harry was stunned. He looked at his friends to see similar expressions of astonishment.

"You mean...that owl in the Zocalo...that was...Errol?" asked Ron incredulously.

"I didn't know that owls could travel through time and space like that!" added Hermione.

"They can't," Dumbledore answered calmly. "Only Errol. Didn't you ever wonder how he traveled such long distances, as old and tired as he is? So as to not kill himself with every delivery, he has developed a way of slipping through time and space, although it is somewhat imperfect. He always has to fly some distance to reach the designated person, and it makes him rather disoriented for a moment. It also tires him considerably, though not as much as if he had flown the distance in a straight line. Professor Flitwick has been working on determining how he does it. It might be very useful if witches and wizards could duplicate the effect."

When no one seemed inclined to respond to this fantastic revelation, Dumbledore continued, "In any case, I think you two ought to write her quickly, so she does not worry."

Ginny took the cue and began to leave the office. Ron followed her, and since he showed no sign of letting go of Hermione's hand, it seemed that she was going to the Owlery as well. Harry started to exit behind them, but Dumbledore's voice stopped him.

"Harry, please stay a moment. There are a few things I'd like to discuss with you."

Reluctantly, Harry turned around and took a step or two back towards the Headmaster's desk. This was the first time he had been in Dumbledore's office since his outburst last year, and he didn't know quite what to expect. Dumbledore did not immediately enlighten him.

"Sit down, Harry," he said instead. Harry complied, and Dumbledore spoke again. "Have you told them about the Prophecy yet?"

This was not what Harry expected. He simply shook his head. Dumbledore sighed.

"It is your burden, of course, but I would advise you to share it," he said. "I believe they would want you to."

When Harry still didn't answer, Dumbledore changed the subject.

"I wanted to let you know that I had my own reasons for going along with Draal's proposition. I knew it would be dangerous to send you there, and I hesitated. Do you know why I agreed?"

"You mean, besides not wanting to disrupt the space-time continuum?" Harry asked, a little bitterly. It was something he had heard in a science fiction film, or maybe a television show. To his surprise, Professor Dumbledore smiled faintly.

"That was a consideration, yes," he replied calmly. "But I also hoped that it might help you. I thought it possible that being in such unfamiliar surroundings would bring the four of you closer."

"It has," said Harry, thinking mainly of Ron and Hermione. When he reflected on it, he realized that he and Ginny had become closer, too.

"Good," Dumbledore replied, steepling his fingers together in front of him. "You have met the captain, and Delenn, and some others. You have seen what they are up against?"

"A little too closely, if you ask me!" snorted Harry.

"From what Draal has told me, this Captain Sheridan is much like you, willing to throw himself into danger for the sake of others. But there seems to be one key difference between you. Do you know what that is?"

Harry thought briefly about the obvious differences between them, but he had the feeling this was not what Dumbledore was looking for.

"No, sir," he said at last. Dumbledore regarded him for a long moment.

"Harry, it is relatively easy to find things to die for. Men die for their chosen cause every day. It is much more challenging to find something to live for. John Sheridan has found that. Do you know what it is?"

Harry thought hard, remembering all of the things he had observed while on Babylon 5. Suddenly, it came to him.

"Delenn," he answered, certain he was right.

"Exactly. Do you remember what I told you about Voldemort? What is the one thing that he does not understand and cannot abide?"

"Love," Harry said promptly. He didn't know why, as he said the word, he saw a flash of long, red hair in his mind's eye. On the heels of that vision came another thought: "Ron and Hermione?"

"Ah, yes," Dumbledore sighed, his eyes seeming to focus on a point far over Harry's head. "Passion and reason; ever opposed to one another, but always one dependent upon the other."

"Um, sir? I have no idea what you're talking about."

"Hm? Oh, yes. It doesn't matter," Dumbledore said, recollecting himself. "Their love will help to protect and strengthen them, yes, but it will do little for you. What are you living for, Harry?"

Harry just stared at him, having no answer.

"That's what I was afraid of," said Dumbledore quietly. "Some time ago, you asked me to teach you how to defeat Voldemort. This is your first task: find something worth living for. You know what you are fighting against, but what are you fighting for? Revenge is not enough. Hate is not enough. These are Voldemort's weapons, and he can wield them far better than you can. Love is the only thing he cannot counter."

"I have to love someone?"

"Someone or something. Discover what it is that makes you get up every morning to face another day. Harry, if you have nothing to look forward to, then what's the point? What are we all fighting for if not for a better reality than the one we see? If you go into battle without a clear idea of what you want to see happening after it, no vision of a life beyond the war, then there is no hope. Not for you, not for any of us. Do you understand?"

Harry nodded slowly. He had only been focusing on his hatred for the wizard who had robbed him of his parents and his godfather. He realized now that Dumbledore was right. If Harry saw his life ending with the meeting foretold in the Prophecy, it most likely would. Even if he did survive under such circumstances, Voldemort would still win. He couldn't let the Dark Lord rob him of his future, physically or spiritually. The Headmaster seemed to be satisfied, for he smiled slightly and stood up.

"Shall we go down to dinner, then?" he said, changing the mood abruptly. "It should be served very soon, and it will look odd if I am not there."

Harry was only half-aware as he followed Dumbledore out of the office. He had a great deal to think about. Before they reached the Great Hall, he had managed to make one decision: after dinner, he was going to tell his friends about the Prophecy.