You Were too Young to Die

Chapter 13

DIEU, QUE LE MONDE EST INJUSTE

( God, the world is so unfair )

One year later

__ Happy birthday Harry ! Lily sang taking her son in the dining room, where James, Sirius, Remus, Peter, Cecilia and Rigel were waiting for him.

They all smiled at the sight of the hardly woken little boy who looked at them with a surprised expression. Sirius held his arms and Lily left Harry in his care :

__ So, how is my dear godson ? Does he walk, Lily ?

__ Not yet... But it should happen soon...

Sirius played with Harry on his knees. The baby smiled then had a chuckle.

***

Peter was watching Lily playing with Harry and Sirius. Then his eyes turned to James who had an arm put around his wife´s waist with tenderness.

He had a sigh of resignation.

Why James who had everything, charm, fame, success, power, humor and so many things too, would he have as well love ?

Et lui sans faire un seul geste

Sans un mot, sans un regard

Il a mis de la tendresse

Au fond de tes grands yeux noirs

Why was it necessary that James had the only woman Peter would have done anything for ?

He moved his glance away of his childhood friend and put it again on Lily.

He remembered the first time he had seen her. It was so long ago... At Hogwarts. Before she had met Prongs. At this time, Snape was her boyfriend.

He remembered it very well.

This day, she had rushed through of the library, without looking in front of her and she had hit him, Peter, letting fall all her books, breaking her bottle of green ink... The words she had said still resounded in his mind...

__ Oh, excuse me ... I am really sorry.

__ Cheer... Cheer up... It... It doesn´t... doesn´t ma... matter...

__ I am sorry ...

She had looked at him with her big green emerald eyes, remorseful. He might have seemed so stupid to her, with his stammering... Every time he spoke to a girl, he blushed, he faltered...

Ma laideur est une insulte

A ta beauté insolente

Une erreur de la nature

Qui ne me fut pas aimante

Lily... You have never looked at me... You have always despised me.

Of course, I have neither the charm, nor the humor, nor James's charisma. Naturally, I am ugly, stupid, shy. You should have thought that so many times.

Do you know which is the most horrible day of my life ? Your wedding, Lily... This day you kissed him, going out of the church...

Dieu que le monde est injuste

Lui si beau et moi si laid

Je te donnerais la lune

Tu ne voudrais pas m´aimer

I hate you Lily. As I hate James. As I hate your son. But especially you.

Because you came to change everything.

We were the Marauders : Wormtail, Padfoot, Moony and Prongs. We were the accomplices in the bad jobs, those who did little shemes, tricks in any kinds... We were four. I had found the friends who protected me.

And you came.

I fell in love with you Lily. I wanted that you looked at me.

But you have never seen me.

You looked at James with the eyes of love. James this idiot who became crazy when you appeared.

I cursed him. He always stole me everything, the success, the girls, the glory, you.

When you kissed him one evening, on the Quidditch pitch, I hated you. Hated.

Dieu que le monde est injuste

Aime ton beau cavalier

Le satin de ta peau brûle

Mais pas pour les va-nu-pieds

And Harry. This child that I would never have wanted to see being born...

Because he calls back to me what I would have been able to live with you if only you had deigned to look down at me.

But you didn´t look at me, you were only disturbing the Marauders...

Even Sirius and Remus were crazy about you at the beginning...

Because you are beautiful Lily and because you don´t realize that the boys fall under your spell at the first glance you throw to them...

But Padfoot and Moony quickly gave up. But not me, Lily. Not me.

Dieu que le monde est injuste

Lui seigneur et moi vaurien

Il te donnera la lune

Toi tu ne demandais rien

Peter squeezed his fists.

I am always too afraid to make decisions...

But there, Lily, I won´t give up.

And when you will die, I would have won.

For the first time of my life, I would have won.

Finally you will be at my mercy.

Finally I could contemplate you at leisure.

It is too late Lily. I am going to hand you over Voldemort.

You are a young lady, Lily. You would have been able to grow old, to have a great life.

No.

You will not get old.

You will die.

And this day, I will exult.

For once, James won´t be able to do anything for you. Because he will die too.

Dieu que la vie est cruelle

Pour deux coeurs qui se cherchaient

Moi si laid et toi si belle

Comment pourrais-tu m´aimer

***

Lily opened the front door, taking Harry back of Peter's arms.

She kissed his friend on both cheeks :

__ Goodbye Peter, spend a good evening...

She smiled to him and closed the door.

***

Peter saw the big smile she sent him.

He hesitated.

And if I had made a mistake...

No.

I won´t give up.

He turned left.

***

He saw that James´s sister was beside Voldemort.

He shivered.

Even your own family betrayed you.

He threw a glance on his forearm, contemplating the Dark Mark, still red.

He approached Voldemort :

__ Master, I have believed to understand that you want to eliminate all the Gryffindors...

__ Yes, he whistled. Would you have any piece of information ?

__ They are my friends. I could hand them over you... But I...

__ What ?

__ I would want you to kill the girl too.

That's it, he had said it.

The Dark Lord´s eyes shone with fury.

__ I will do what I want ! he roars out. But I shall seek your help when I would have decided to kill the father and the son...

Peter went away by trembling.

I am sorry James.