Quiet or Loud

"You notice the lantern dangling from his hand? Hops ahead - people follow the light - then - "

Dean swallowed thickly when the Hinkypunk made a very loud squelching noise. Of course, the Hinkypunk wasn't the thing wreaking havoc on his salivation. The problem Dean had was much more complicated.

Professor Lupin had just run his hand through his hair.

Normally, a professor running their hand through their hair would be no problem for Dean. However, Professor Lupin was somewhat of an exception to the rule. For the rest of the class, Dean thought about that hand and let the professor's soothing voice wash over him like waves.

~ - ~ - ~

"Seamus?"

Seamus looked up from his comic and turned towards Dean.

"Yeah?"

"Can I borrow your Defense notes?"

Seamus gave him the little smile that meant he was trying not to grin.

"Did you not take notes today? You seemed awfully interested in what Professor Lupin was saying."

Dean was very glad of his skin tone at the moment. He didn't really blush noticeably.

"I, er, wasn't really paying attention. I was sort of, um, thinking."

Seamus bounded off his bed and on to Dean's.

"What of? You have to tell because the lecture today was right interesting, and you must've been thinking about something good to miss it."

Dean looked down and fretted the corner of his sheet.

"It was nothing really. I was just - "

Seamus grinned expectantly.

"You were just what?"

Dean took a deep breath and prepared to lie.

"IwasjustthinkingaboutProfessorLupin'shandsandhownicetheyareandhowhisvoiceisallvelvetyandsmoothandhowIwouldn'tmindlisteningtoitforever."

Or not.

Seamus opened his mouth to reply, but stopped and made his This Is More Confusing Than Arithmancy face.

"You what?"

It was out in the open already, so Dean figured it was best to tell the truth.

"I was just thinking about Professor Lupin's hands and his voice and stuff."

Dean was blushing so fiercely that he was sure Seamus could see it, dark skin or no.

"Oh."

Seamus' voice sounded odd and hollow. Almost...hurt. Which didn't make sense at all, because Dean liking a Professor had nothing to do with Seamus. Unless, Seamus thought liking boys was wrong, like Dean's father stepfather did.

"You're not angry, are you?"

Seamus shook his head.

"Uncomfortable?"

Another shake.

"Well, why aren't you saying anything?"

Seamus looked up and he tilted his head to one side.

"Why do you like Lupin, Dean?"

Dean sighed. "Look, I know he's a man and everything, but I can't help it. I just like boys, and I really don't think - "

Seamus cut him off. "That's not what I mean. I don't care if you like boys, Dean. I like boys too."

"But Lavender. Just last week you said you like her."

Seamus shrugged. "I like girls too. Boys and girls, either one's fine."

"Oh."

"I meant, what do you like about Professor Lupin specifically?"

Dean thought for a moment and tried to put his thoughts into words. Words weren't his specialty. That was Seamus' department. He could have painted his feelings. Large, broad blue strokes for the respect of a wise adult. Little pink lines for a first crush. Blotches of yellow for the sunshiny feeling when Professor Lupin smiles at him. And, finally, small vivid red strokes here and there for the occasional lancing heat in his stomach. Explaining his feelings in a way someone would understand them took more effort than art.

"It's just that, I don't know, he's very calming and soothing. His voice just makes me...listen. Intently. It's like he could fix anything with his voice. And his hands, they're incredible. Long fingers, slightly ink stained. Sort of like artist's hands, but not. They're scholar's hands, you know. Not to mention his hair. It's a sandy brown, I guess, but I wouldn't really call it that. It's sort of golden, in the right light, at least. And I really like how he - "

"Yeah. I get it. He's cute and he's calm and steady, right?"

Dean stopped short at Seamus' tone. It was blunt and a little harsh. Not like Seamus at all.

"Er, yeah. I guess you could say that."

After a few moments silence, Dean's mouth decided to act without the expressed permission of his brain. Again.

"You know, his hair is practically the same as yours."

Seamus looked at him oddly for a moment, before shrugging and going over to his book bag. He pulled out a handful of parchments and put them on the bed beside Dean.

"Here you go. Defense notes. Hope you can read them," he said, with a little grin at the end. His voice was back to normal. Almost as if everything after Dean asked for his notes had never happened.

"Er, thanks, Seamus."

~ - ~ - ~

"Seamus, what's wrong, for Christ's sake?"

Dean had finally had enough. Seamus had been acting odd for a week and a half and it was really bothering him.

He hadn't been hyper, he hadn't shouted. He hadn't raised his voice once. He hadn't even laughed loudly. What's more, he hadn't made a single joke, or at least, not any Seamus-like ones, so they hadn't been funny. The final straw was that as of several minutes ago, before Neville left their dorm, Seamus had been listening. To Neville. Which was odd in and of itself.

"What do you mean, Dean?"

More of that annoyingly serene tone that Seamus had been using for the past week and a bit.

"Why are you acting so strangely?"

Seamus tilted his head slightly and put on his most convincing I'm Trying To Understand You But You May As Well Be Speaking Gobbledegook sort of look. It was a very understanding sort of look and it drove Dean crazy.

"WHY ARE YOU BEING SO WEIRD AND QUIET AND CALM AND NOT LIKE YOU?"

Seamus looked phased for a moment. Then, he regained the understanding look.

"Isn't this way better? Don't you like calm, quiet and steady better than loud and obnoxious?"

Dean blinked. "You're not obnoxious. Who said that?"

Seamus' face went blank and he stared. "Everybody says that."

"Well, I don't think so. Except you've been driving me up the wall with this 'calm and quiet' stuff."

Again Seamus looked confused, but he looked confused in his normal way now.

"But you said you liked calm and steady."

Dean frowned. "When?"

"When we were talking about Lupin. You like him because he's calm and steady."

Dean paused for a moment; a little bit shocked that Seamus would have changed his behaviour so drastically over a little conversation like that.

"Well, yes. I did say that, but I like you the way you are. Loud and insane."

Seamus grinned. "Oh, so I'm not obnoxious, but I'm insane."

"Insane can be endearing." Dean stopped and grinned wickedly. "In your case, it's not, but - "

He was cut off by a pillow to his face.

About ten minutes later, Dean and Seamus lay panting across Dean's bed amid piles and piles of feathers.

"I need some new pillows," Dean said.

"How did you mean 'like'?"

Dean pushed up onto his elbows and looked down at Seamus.

"What?"

Seamus was looked away in an obvious attempt to avoid eye contact.

"When you said you liked me the way I am. How did you mean 'like'? As in best mates like, or the kind of like that you feel for Lupin?"

Dean reached out and did something he'd wanted to do since the class on Hinkypunks. He ran his hand through Seamus' hair.

"I like you more than anyone else in the world, Seamus," he said, in a soft, almost inaudible voice. "I like you both ways."

Seamus' eyes slowly moved to meet Dean's.

For a minute, Dean didn't know what was happening or what Seamus was going to do. He'd never been so hard to read. Seamus had never had that inscrutable look in his eyes before.

"Good," he said.

Dean started to smile. Then, Seamus reached up and kissed him.

Remus' quote is from Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban page 139 (UK edition).