Gray Matter

Ginny Weasley sighed and checked her Lip-Reddening charm once more. Her red curls bounced against her back as she sighed and decided it was good enough. It's not like he'll be here to see me anyway, she thought sadly. With another sigh and one last look at the mirror, Ginny left her Muggle dressing room and got ready to face the crowd once more.

Ginny stepped out from behind the curtain onto the stage and looked at everyone in the audience. I shouldn't even bother looking for him anymore, she thought desperately. He wouldn't even remember me by now. I guess it's just habit. She smiled and the audience clapped. "Before I perform to night, I just want to say that this song is dedicated to a very special someone I used to know. If you're out there, you know who you are." Ginny signaled the guitarist to start playing. She held the microphone in her hands and stared out into the audience as she started to sing:

I hate you.

I love you.

Leave.

Don't go away.

I can't decide if I like your face

Or if I wish you'd go away.

Suddenly Ginny's eyes fell on a man sitting at a table in the back. He had his hood pulled up over his head, but he was watching her intently. Ginny could have sworn she saw a flash of silver, but knew that it couldn't be him. Rich wizards like him didn't come to cheap Muggle karaoke nights. Ginny continued to sing.

You're a child but you're malicious,

You're sweet but you don't remember my name.

Heads you win and tails I'm lost.

Love equals pain.

Isn't it the truth, Ginny thought painfully. He had loved her - no, he put her under the illusion he loved her. He had never really loved her. It had all been a scheme, a horrible, twisted, plan to get to Harry, and Ginny winced to remember how well it had worked. Her poor Harry, he had really loved her. But now wasn't time to reminisce in the past.

I am drifting without an anchor

Through your ambiguous region,

A strange continent immune to all reason,

And I'm flattered by your gray matter.

Ginny could feel the hooded stranger's eyes burn through her. Was it - could it be him? Was that possible? Was he even alive? Perhaps - perhaps not. Even if he hadn't loved her, even if it had only been loyalty to his father, she still could not help to miss him. She stared back at him and continued singing.

Inside my skin, I feel your tongue.

It's telling me I'm dirty and licking my bones.

A scrape against silence, a knife across a plate,

Makes the sound of need on hate.

He had been very - handsome. No, not handsome, beautiful. And somehow, some way, Ginny knew he couldn't have faked all of it. Maybe he did care. Maybe he hadn't totally betrayed her. Maybe - no. She was fooling with herself. He didn't - he couldn't feel anything, he just wasn't capable of it.

I am drifting without an anchor

Through your ambiguous region,

A strange continent immune to all reason,

And I'm flattered by your gray matter.

Oh, why had he left? Why had he ever left her? Why hadn't he stayed? They could have been together forever. They could have kept what they had had.

And I do not understand

Why a woman can't just love a man.

You're amusing, you're a real cool show

With your meat hooks and barbed wire carnival.

You got gold dust in your pocket,

You got moth holes in your soul

From too many false teeth and greasy flashbulbs.

Ginny smiled at the last verse. He had definitely had too much of something in his soul. His father, probably, love, less likely, loyalty, definitely, but evil? Somehow she didn't think so. She watched as the man in the back folded his hands and sat back as he listened to the song fade out.

I am drifting without an anchor

Through your ambiguous region,

A strange continent immune to all reason,

And I'm flattered by your gray matter.

The guitarist stopped playing and everyone cheered. The man in the back did not move. "Thank you," Ginny said. She handed the microphone to the next person up for karaoke, a girl of about eighteen. "Good luck," she smiled. "They'll lap it up."

"Thanks," the girl smiled. "You were awesome. I'm Brittany, by the way."

"Thanks, Brittany," Ginny grinned. "I'm Ginny. I would stay, but I've got to go change out of these clothes. Good luck."

"Thanks, Ginny." The girl smiled nervously once more and stepped out beyond the curtain. Ginny sighed, went to her dressing room, and changed into her regular clothes. She was about to leave when there was a knock on the door.

"It's open," Ginny said. Cautiously her hand drifted to the wand in her pocket as the door opened. It was only Brittany.

"Oh, it's you," Ginny smiled. "I thought it might be someone less welcome. How'd it go?"

"It went great, but there was this man there - really suspicious-looking man, too, he had a hooded black cloak on - and he told me to give this to you." Brittany handed her an envelope - an envelope made of parchment. Ginny gulped.

"Th - Thanks," she stuttered, grabbing the envelope. "Listen, I've - I've got to go, I have dinner with the family tonight, if I'm late Mum will kill me, so I'll see you soon, okay?" Ginny lied. Without waiting for an answer, Ginny sprinted out of the room with Brittany staring after her.

Ginny ran into the alley and, with a backward glance to make sure no one was watching, Apparated to her own flat. She tore open the envelope and read:

Ginny-

You were wonderful tonight. I really do mean it this time. I'd really like to talk to you, Ginny, if you'd let me. Please?

-Draco

Ginny let the parchment fall to the floor and collapsed into a chair. "What am I going to do?" she said out loud.