Until My Dying Day

It had been a month since Harry Potter had left Hogwarts. One month since his godfather had died, and all his hopes of moving out of the Dursleys' home had been dashed.

Dumbledore had organized a funeral. According to him, it would help everyone's grieving if they could all be together, if only for a day. It was early July, and the air was hot and dry outside of the Leaky Cauldron, which Madam Rosmerta had graciously emptied. Candles hung in the air, giving the usually dark room light like never before.

Only those who received the special gilded invitation were able to attend. The looping black lettering specified exactly where to Apparate or which fireplace was the right one to use. The headmaster himself escorted each new visitor into the Leaky Cauldron, making perfectly sure that there were no unwanted guests.

The Weasleys were all in attendance and sitting at one table, heads bowed. Molly cried silently on Arthur's shoulder and even the twins were silent. Professor Lupin, Professor McGonagall, Tonks, Moody, and Mrs. Figg all sat at a table talking softly; whether their conversation was about Sirius or not was questionable.

Harry sat at the back of the room, with Ron and Hermione, drinking large glasses of chilled pumpkin juice. Hermione tugged on a piece of her hair nervously, tapping her fingers on her cup. Ron's freckled face was oddly white and his knee bounced idly as he looked off. Harry had spoken very little all day, frequently staring off into space and missing entire conversations that surrounded him. No one wanted to break the heavy silence that hung over their table, so they sat quietly, as they had been for the past half hour.

What's the point of a funeral if no one mentions Sirius at all? Harry thought bitterly as he took a sip of his pumpkin juice.

A woman, who couldn't be older than Sirius had been, walked into the small room. Dumbledore patted her arm and gave her a small wink before closing the door behind her. Her auburn hair was pulled back in an elegant bun at the back of her neck, streaks of gray poking through in various places. She had eyes made of sapphire, brimmed with tears that threatened to spill any moment. Her robes were made of expensive black velvet and the heels of her shoes clicked softly on the wood floor.

Hagrid, who had been blubbering at a table close to the front door, stood up quickly, gasping. Tiny black eyes wide and still streaming tears into his beard, his mouth hung open and he looked the woman up and down, in unhindered awe. This caught Harry's attention. The woman seemed oddly familiar, although he could not seem to place where he'd seen her. Hagrid seemed to be having no such problem.

"Yeh canna be little Cally?" He gathered the woman in a huge hug, burying his face in the top of her hair. "Yeh've come back… We've missed yeh."

The woman's soft British lilt was muffled in the giant man's chest. "I've missed you all, too."

Hagrid continued to sob, but let her go to look her over again. "Yeh havena changed a bit, little one. Still the same ol' Cally. It's been too long."

"Fifteen years on November first," she answered meekly.

He bowed his head in a sullen nod and kissed the top of her scalp. "Welcome home."

"Thank you." She gave him a weak smile and watched as he walked back over to his table. Scanning the room for anyone she recognized, she spotted Lupin at the table in the corner.

"R-Remus?" Her voice gave a tremble that couldn't have been voluntary.

Lupin turned to her slowly, his eyes widening. He walked swiftly towards her and took her hands in his, to check if she was solid.

"Calandra! You're here… You're back." He stared at her curiously and looked down at her left hand, which bore a gaudy gold ring with a large diamond on it. It took a long time for his gaze to move back up to her face.

"You got married." It was not a question, but a statement that even as he spoke, he obviously barely believed.

Calandra nodded. "Yes. But… How are you? I mean, how have you been? Still…"

"A werewolf? Yeah. How did you hear about." He gestured around them. "This?"

Harry was oddly intrigued by the woman and tried to figure out who she was. An ex girlfriend of Lupin's

"Dumbledore," she said with a slight smile. "He knew that I'd… that I'd want to come. So, he tracked me all the way to Iverness where Thomas and I live."

"Thomas. Your husband," he said. His eyes narrowed, clearly disapproving.

"Remus, you have to understand. He had made me swear that if anything ever happened to him that I would… that I would move on. I spent five years on the brink of being completely mad. He was as good as dead in Azkaban, you know that."

Harry's eyes widened. Azkaban? She must have been with Sirius… He had never really thought about Sirius' love life. He'd always just sort of assumed that his parents had been the only ones to date within their little group.

"And I couldn't visit him there," she continued. "But it was wrong of me to ever doubt that he would find a way out. He was too clever to stay locked up like that."

Lupin wrapped his arms around her lightly, in a tender hug that brought forth the silent tears she'd been holding back.

"When I read that he'd escaped, I told Thomas that I was going to visit my sister in London and I came back to England. I went in search of him. I pet every black dog between Iverness and Brighton. Just hoping… For anything." She took a deep breath, wiping the drying tears off her blotchy cheeks. "I could have sworn I saw him while Thomas and I took the girls on holiday two years ago…"

"The girls?"

"O-Our daughters. We've two. Anne's eight and Victoria just turned five," she said, not looking him in the eye.

His brow furrowed. "I wouldn't be surprised if it was him."

Calandra hugged him tighter. "The night that Lily and James…" She choked on the words, as many did. "When they were killed… Sirius told me that he had to go find Peter. He just wanted to make sure he was still safe. He told me to stay at the house, that he'd be back soon. I begged him not to go. I did." She let out a small sob and Lupin rubbed her back soothingly.

"There was no way you could have known what would happen."

"I didn't get to say goodbye, Remus. Not to any of you… I just ran to my sister's to hide when it wasn't safe to stay in our house, that's what we planned. I haven't seen him in fifteen years and yet I still dream about him."

"Does your husband, Thomas, know where you are now?"

"To an extent. I told him I had to go back home because an old friend died. He insisted that he come too, but I told him I needed to be alone…" She paused. "He didn't fight me on it. It's not exactly a… happy marriage. But he understands that I have a trouble past, to say the least."

He released her, gently taking her hands again. "Would you like a Firewhiskey?"

"Yes, please."

Lupin motioned to Madame Rosmerta as Cal's gaze flickered over his shoulder and spotted Harry.

Her eyes widened, her knees buckling slightly. "P-Please tell me that that's baby Harry, otherwise I am seeing James' ghost, and I could not deal with that right now." Harry's throat tightened as he heard his name. It was rude of him to continue staring at her, he knew that, so he looked down at his ragged fingernails for a moment.

Lupin turned around and saw Harry. "Harry, there's someone I'd like you to meet."

Harry stood on shaky legs, walking over slowly to the two adults, ignoring Ron and Hermione as they whispered to each other, questioningly.

"Harry, this is Calandra Adwen," said Lupin.

"Bradridge," Calandra corrected him softly.

Lupin cleared his throat and continued as though he hadn't heard her. "She was your mother's best friend and Sirius' fiancée."

Harry's mouth felt dry, but he managed to say, "Nice to meet you."

Calandra swallowed. "It's good to see you again, Harry. It's been so long... You were throwing fistfuls of mashed peas at James and Sirius when I last saw you."

Madam Rosmerta brought over a Firewhiskey, which Calandra accepted gratefully. Rosmerta let out a small gasp, as Hagrid had, when she recognized her and gave her a quick hug before going to fetch a fresh cup of tea for Professor Lupin. The three of them sat down at an empty table, Lupin and Calandra next to each other, Harry across from them.

Rosmerta returned quickly with a pot of tea and three cups. As she poured the tea, Cal looked at Remus and sighed.

"Remus, will you," she wrung her hands. "Will you tell me how it happened? Dumbledore didn't have enough time to… Please?"

Lupin exhaled slowly, folding his hands nervously on the table, and slowly began to recall the events as they had happened since Sirius had escaped from prison. Harry listened, calling upon his memories of the past few years. He concluded with Sirius' fall through the veil, into the darkness, into death.

Calandra was silent, nodding and gulping her Firewhisky in a way Harry had only seen Hagrid drink, until he finished.

"God bless him," she said softly as she crossed herself. She nervously fingered a chain poking out from underneath her robes. The movement dragged the pendant out from hiding, a delicate ring set with two diamonds and a large sapphire.

Lupin reached out and touched it lightly. "You kept the ring."

"Of course I did… I couldn't get just throw it out."

"Your husband, though? Doesn't he question it?"

"He's learned not to question my past. Or he simply doesn't care. He loves the girls. We get along well enough."

"Are you that unhappy?"

"We're alright. We've got our kids to keep us happy. It's better than Narcissa's doing."

Lupin smiled at this. "Have you seen her lately?"

"I ran into her not too long ago. I was shopping for a dress with Anne for some party she was going to and I bumped into Narcissa and her anorexic, pasty-faced little boy. Both of them looked as though they'd just eaten shit." Harry stifled a laugh. "I said hello and she acted as though she didn't know me. She always was a bitch ."

"You should see her with Lucius. Perfectly miserable." He sobered quickly. "Would you like to… to see a picture of him? Sirius, that is. A recent one? He does look slightly different from the last time you saw him…"

She bit her lip and bobbed her head. "Y-Yes. I would. I really would."

Lupin dug into his pockets and pulled out a picture from not too long ago. Sirius was sitting in a chair in the sitting room of 12 Grimmauld Place, looking very nonchalant, even though Harry knew he had been itching to get out. He had the shadow of a smile on his face and waved lazily.

Cal ran her finger down the picture, tears streaming harder now. "N-Needed a bit of a haircut, didn't he?" She smiled at the man in the picture. "He really didn't want to be there. You can tell from his eyes… He hated being locked up." She handed the picture back. "I wish I could have seen him again, Remus."

"I know, Cal. We all do."

Harry stared at her, candle light flickering inside his round lenses. He took in a deep breath before asking, in an oddly bold voice. "You were engaged to Sirius?"

"Yeah. He proposed not too long after… your parents," The words seemed weighted as she said them, as though she were in shock at talking to him. "After your parents got married. We were engaged for a long time. Neither of us wanted to ask for money from our parents or friends, so we just had to save. We were going to elope, but then…" Her voice trailed off.

Harry reached into his pockets and pulled out his wand.

"Accio album," he muttered.

The album Hagrid had given him during his first year flew from his bookbag, nearly clipping Ron as it passed by his head. He'd taken to carrying it around, having placed numerous charms to keep it safe. He would often sneak into corners to steal quick looks at the caring, gentle faces. He gently placed the album on the table in front of Cal. He'd never entrusted the photos to anyone else, but Remus seemed to trust her, and Sirius certainly had.

With round tipped nails, Calandra traced the gilding on the cover. Her eyes were glazed with tears and she opened to the first page.

"The wedding," she whispered.

Lupin looked over at Harry, eyes wide in surprise. "Where did you get that?"

Harry swallowed. "Hagrid gave it to me."

"God, we were so young," Calandra shook her head, turning the pages slowly. "Look at you, Remus. Not a wrinkle on your face or a gray hair on your head."

Remus chuckled gently and leaned closer, staring at himself and his friends, laughing and waving. James, dressed in beautiful black wedding robes, was holding Lily around the waist. She had yellow daisies woven into her flame red hair, which tumbled over her shoulders, a gorgeous contrast to her pure white dress. To their right, were Sirius and Calandra. Cal was dressed in pale yellow, which matched the daises she too wore braided into her hair, and Sirius was dressed in robes like James'. Cal and Lily were laughing hysterically about something, and Peter's face was covered in pink frosting from the wedding cake, which made them laugh all the more.

"Sirius was telling us about the bachelor party, remember, Remus?" Cal recalled.

"Of course," he replied. "James' drunken dancing and my encounter with a man named Berta…"

"You were the maid of honor?" Harry asked Calandra, more timidly this time, afraid of interrupting their moment.

"Yes." She smiled and ran her fingers over Lily's face. "Lily and I had been best friends since our second year. We were paired off in Potions."

"What," Harry paused, unsure of how to ask. "What was she like? M-My mother, that is."

"You don't know?"

He shook his head and took a sip of his tea. He hadn't realized how thirsty he'd been until the liquid hit him with a wave of relief that overwhelmed him.

Calandra looked over at Lupin. "No one's told him about his own parents?"

"There was never any time. And it's so hard, Cal-"

"This boy has been through the most awful things that anyone could ever think of. Facing the man who murdered his parents, facing Dementors and accused serial killers, watching a fellow student die, seeing his own godfather die, being followed by the press," she paused and looked over at Harry, the hint of a motherly smile on her face, "Remind me to ask you about this Hermione Granger sometime." She turned her attention back to Lupin and shook her head. "No, Remus. He deserves to know. No matter how hard it is for us to talk about."

Harry stared at her, mouth gaping. "How do you know about all of that?"

Her blue eyes glittered as she looked at him fondly. "I read the paper. And I've picked up many a copy of Witch Weekly with your face on the cover." Her expression hardened as she spoke next. "Now, Harry, if I tell you about your parents, I'm not going to sugarcoat it at all. Are you sure you want to hear?"

Immediately he said, "Yes. I want to know everything. About my mum and dad, about you and Sirius. Everything."

Lupin's eyes went wide and he nodded, decidedly. "I'll help fill any holes."

"Well, whenever I look back, I always start with the moment I really noticed Sirius for the first time. I mean, it was terribly difficult to miss him, but I never paid him much attention until fourth year…"

[December 20, 1974. Last day of first term. 4th Year]

It was a freezing, winter day on the Hogwarts campus. Frost clung to the edges of the windows, giving the outdoors a dreamlike quality that Calandra longed to be a part of. Snow drifted from the sky and piled neatly on the ground in cloudlike heaps that begged to be laid in.

"Two feet of parchment on the goblin rebellion of 1612," Professor Binns' voice droned on and Cal inwardly groaned. "Three feet on how the Giant civil war of 1837 affected the way we live among them today. And," He paused for a long time, transparent face drooping with what could have been mistaken for sleep deprivation. "With that have a nice Christmas holiday."

The entire class of Ravenclaws and Hufflepuffs got to their feet quickly, collectively rejuvenated and entirely too excited about the holiday to stay put for another second. Cal stuffed all of her things into her book bag in record time and was the first out the door. Auburn waves and blue striped scarf flying behind her, she raced down the hall and outside, towards the Herbology greenhouse, where Lily would be getting out of class.

Having been close friends with Lily for two years, Cal could clock almost exactly when she would get out of class. Winter holiday had officially begun and she wanted to spend as much time with Lily as she could before both of them went home the next day. They would exchange gifts, laugh about the last three months of term, and eat chocolate. Lily always had chocolate.

The cobblestones were wet with snow as she approached the greenhouse. Sparse Gryffindor and Slytherin students were walking towards her; She dodged them deftly, careful not to crash into a lumbering Slytherin male. A patch of black ice caught her off guard, causing her to fall backwards. Her legs flew up in front of her and her arms flailed, sending her book bag flying to the side.

Right before she smashed to the ground, there was a loud grunt from behind her and two arms caught her around the middle, holding her a foot from the ground. Heart pounding in her throat, she looked up into two beautiful dark eyes.

"Careful there," Sirius Black said, grinning.

Cal looked up at him hazily. Having eaten breakfast with Lily Evans at the Gryffindor table for the last year and a half, she recognized his face. Dumbly, she smiled at him before noticing there was a large, red stain spreading on his shirt.

"You're hurt!" Her voice was panicked and she touched the wound lightly with two fingers.

There were snickers from behind them. Potter, Lupin, and Pettigrew, no doubt. They were never far from each other.

Sirius' black eyes twinkled as he spoke. "Red ink. It flew out of your bag and hit me in the chest."

She stared at the ink. "Did it hurt? I'm really sorry."

He chuckled as he propped her upright. "I'm fine. James has a spell to get rid of stains. You wouldn't know it to look at him, but he's quite the Suzy Homemaker."

James made a strangled noise, as though about to say something in his defense. Instead, he ruffled his hair and said, voice deep and casual, "Hey, Evans."

Sirius' lazy grin widened, ear to ear, as he let go of Cal. Lily's face was as bright red as her hair from the cold and running as fast as she could.

"Cal! Cal, are you alright? I saw what happened! Are you okay?"

"I'm fine, Lil." She bent down and started picking up the things that had fallen out of her bag.

James cleared his throat and spoke louder. "Hey, Evans."

Lily rolled her eyes at him. "Hello, Potter."

Remus knelt down next to Calandra, smiling lightly at her as he handed her copy of 'Intermediate Transfiguration' back to her

She smiled back at him. "Good thing your friend has such quick reflexes. I would have cracked my skull open otherwise."

"That's Sirius for you. Very chivalrous." It was impossible to tell if he was being sarcastic or not.

With all her articles safely back in her bag, she stood up and dusted the snow off of her robes. Lily, ignoring James' comments on how nice she looked flushed, took her arm and started to lead her away. Cal looked over her shoulder at the boys. James looked exasperated that Lily still wasn't paying any attention to him, and ignored Peter, who was trying to comfort him with a smashed baked good he'd pulled from his pocket. Remus was elbowing Sirius in the ribs, and Sirius, shirt still stained with red ink, threw his head back, laughing at James' back luck.

[July 5, 1996]

"It was then," Calandra said, taking a sip of her tea. "That I knew I was in love with Sirius Black. And that if James Potter ever wanted a chance with Lily that he would have to do something huge."

"What did he do?" Harry asked. "It seems as though my mother always hated him."

"Hate is a very strong word. She… disliked him… greatly… for a long time," said Lupin, with the shadow of a smile on his face.

"And she had every reason to," piped Cal. "James never showed her who he really was. He used to be very macho around her. That's not what she wanted."

"But what did he do to make her fall in love with her?"

"That doesn't come until much later. You wanted me to go in order, right?"

"Yes, yes," said Harry. "I'm sorry."

"You're eager. I understand. James did a lot to try to impress Lily between third and seventh year. Everything except what would have won her over, of course."

"Like in Hogsmeade," Remus said.

"Hogsmeade!" Calandra cried out, grinning. "James did so many things to try to impress her, and none of them ever worked, but few made her actually like him less…"