Harry Potter and the Mock Invisibility Cloak

Harry Potter and the Mock Invisibility Cloak

By: LighteningMoon, A.K.A. Tiger, A.K.A. Becca

Once upon a bogie-flavoured Bertie Botts Ever Flavoured Bean, Harry Potter needed to use his invisibility cloak to find the Rubinesque Renaissance portraits in Dumbledore's secret lair.

Since Dumbledore was an old jolly old fellow, he had bought these 16^th century paintings in his prime. Since Harry could not get a hold of a normal dirty magazine, he had to settle for these.

It was dark, and since Ron would be far too eager to tag along, Harry knew he had to go alone. And so, he searched under his bed for his invisibility cloak in the dead of night, (with no light). He felt the silky smooth cloth and pulled it out.

Harry walked down the hallway, carrying his wand in a Lumos state, and reading the Maurader's Map to see if anyone was around. He spotted a small black dot that said 'Mrs. Norris' next to it. She was on the floor below Harry, so he was safe as peach cobbler, for now. He crept up to Dumbledore's chamber.

Boy, this cloak is thicker than I remember... hmm... maybe it is just dark... it kind of smells funny too. Harry thought, holding the Lumos out for a better looksie.

Finally, he made his way up to Dumblepoop's Magical Gargoyle and whispered a few candied words when he finally shouted, 'Drooble's Bubble Gum!' The Gargoyle leapt aside to let Harry in.

Oh no! Dumblyplop was up doing some paperwork... or something. Harry suddenly remembered, so conveniently how when he was already facing Dumbledore that obviously Dumby's wizeness was far too advanced for his eyes to be shielded by the cloak... of invisibility... cloak of... invisibility, that holds the ability to not have visibility. And so, after Harrypoo thought this sentence, Doobydoo looked up.

Oh no, he sees me! thought Harry.

But to his surprise, Dumbledork merely said, 'Oh, hello Nick!' Harry's cloak was seen and Dumby thought he was a ghost! The one with an almost decapitated head named Nick.

'Oh no! The invisibility booster on the cloak of invisibility must be faulty!' said Harry aloud. Dumbleoldfart conveniently did not hear.

Just as Dumble begins to very conveniently get up and leave, Ron ran into the room, looked in Harry's direction, and said, 'There you are!' Harry, not paying any attention to the fact that Ron would not know Dumbled's password thinks Ronald is talking to Harry himself, until he pulls Harry's cloak off of his head.

'Mr. FuzzyWuzzy! I went under Harry's bed to find you, because I hide you there, in case people find you, they will think you are Harry's... no offence Fuzzy... but you were not there, so I followed your scent, and here you are!' Ron had just spilled all of the beans on himself before he had even realised Harry and Dumblyplop and all of the other pictures in Dumbledook's room were listening in on his private conversation.

Ron slowly began to inch out of the room, and exited the scene.

'Harry--' began Dumbledoobie.

'Oh no!' thought Harry aloud. 'Another one of Dumblypoop's looooong and spacious speeches with a thousand pauses in the middle of sentences!'

Dumbledumble then proceeded to give Harry a looooong and spacious speech with a thousand pauses in the middle of sentences, scolding Harry about proper use of invisibility cloaks. Then for some distant, untold reason, gives Harry fifty points for Gryffindor, a lemon drop, a pat on the head, and one of his desired naughty Renaissance pictures, and sends him on his way.

And so, this concludes the seventh volume of Harry Potter, and the Dumbledore is Still Alive in this fic... without a doubt, marking the worst of any of the books yet.