Party, Bonus...

Ron saw Crookshanks run along side of the staircase, and out of his usual annoying-ness, he decided to torture the poor thing. He hopped up to the top of the staircase and jumped in front of the poor cat. The mirthless creature hissed and sputtered and ran to Hermione who wrapped him up in her arms. Ron gazed at her with a mix of pure disgust and sadness.

"Hermione," he whined, "Why won't the kitty play with me?"

Harry, who was sitting at the other side of the table, had to stifle a laugh at the fake depression in Ron's eyes. It was rather sad that the boy who had hated the cat since Hermione had bought him, was actually upset that the orange beast didn't want to humor him. Harry even saw tears brimming at in his eyes. He could barely stand to hear Hermione's lecture on how to catch more bee's with honey than with vinegar. Ron insisted that because neither participant in the situation was by any means considered a bee, that the situation could not be compared. When she tried to explain that it was an anachronism, he told her to watch her language.

At this point, Harry couldn't take it anymore; he just had to stop the madness.

"Come and sit down with me Ron," he pleaded to his friend. Harry tried to hide another laugh. Ron turned slowly from the cat and slid into the chair next to Harry.

"Problem?" Hermione asked him, stroking her cat in a way that reminded Harry of an evil villain. All she need was some sort of world domination plot to go along with it.

Hearing her question, Ron swung his head rather drunkenly towards her, rolling it on his neck. He stared at her for several seconds. His eyes were glassy and fixed on her face. She stared right back at him with one eyebrow arched.

"Fine, fine, just fine. Fine as can be. I'm just fine." Ron picked up a piece of parchment that was lying on the table and began to read it. Hermione only rolled her eyes at him. Ron had gotten even more eccentric in the past couple of months. It looked like all those years of Fred and George torturing him had finally caught up.

She decided to leave before he went on another one of his rants or tried to scare her cat. Grabbing her books and spare notes she walked up the girl's dorms, leaving Ron and Harry alone. As soon as she went up the stairs, Ron turned to Harry with an excited look on his face.

"Ok, she's gone now." He dropped the parchment on the ground. But Harry couldn't help it anymore; he laughed in his face.

"What's so funny?" Ron asked with a sour look and a wrinkling brow.

Harry's laugh died down and he looked at his friend. He barely managed to squeak out, "Nothing, oh nothing." Ron still stared at him and Harry cleared his throat. He still spoke with a trace of laughter in his voice. "You could tell her that one of her friends wanted to talk to her, or that someone was doing something bad. No, you have to freak her out so she would leave!"

Ron leaned back in his chair laughed and then spoke. "I was just trying to get her to go away." Harry only smiled knowingly and nodded to him. "What are we gonna do for her birthday?!?" He was rather excited and he knocked over a glass on the table. He glanced at it then turned back to Harry.

"I have no idea," Harry answered, not really knowing what to say.

Ron's smile dropped as he slouched back in his chair. He looked out the window for a minute while Harry went back to his book. Suddenly, Ron's voice interrupted his reading. He thrust his hands up in the air in a triumphant gesture and proudly proclaimed. "I know! We will get her a stripper!"

At this announcement, half of the common room turned to stare. Ron didn't notice because he was staring at Harry, wanting acceptance. Harry slid down in his chair and hid his face in his notes. He was beginning to feel bad for Hermione; really bad.

He looked up at Ron, who now slowly slid down in his chair and rested his head on he back, both of them sighing. They needed to think on an idea soon because they were running out of time. Ron sat back up and turned to him.

"Ok," he started with a slight quaver in his voice, "so you don't like the stripper idea. How about a petting zoo?" Harry rolled his eyes at him. Ron had been reading to many muggle studies books.

"Ron, how are we going to get a petting zoo?" Harry asked calmly.

"Order it."

"Ron, I don't think that we can order it.

"We can."

"Where from?"

"I bet Fred and George could get it."

Harry rolled his eyes again. The craziness of the situation was almost unbearable.

"Ron..." he started.

Ron held up a hand to stop him. "Don't say it Harry. I know what you're thinking." Harry didn't want to hear what he was thinking. "And Harry, I agree with you. I think we should hire a band!" His face was glowing now, with a rather proud expression.

"You know what Ron..."

"No, no Harry, let me roll with this. There is this band, I think they're 4^th years, but they're really good. I heard them once practicing in an old classroom. Nice job, good beat. I'm sure they would love it. I mean having a chance to perform and -"

"RON!"

"What?"

Harry took a few deep breaths to clam himself. He barely noticed that the common room had turned to stare at them again. He leaned in towards him in an attempt to keep it semi-private. He hissed at Ron though his teeth.

"I don't think Hermione would like that."

Ron didn't take him all that seriously. "Oh, come now Harry. Everyone loves rock 'n roll."

Harry was beginning to feel that Ron was having this conversation with the voices in his head.

"Come now, Ron."

Ron looked rather cross at him. He threw his hands up into the air and then tossed himself back in his chair.

"Then what do you suppose we do?" He looked to him with a defiant expression, one that said 'try and find a better idea than me.' Harry had a feeling that Ron would be disappointed very soon.

"Ron, why don't we just throw a surprise party?"

Ron looked taken aback by the suggestion. But then, he wasn't completely silent.

"That would be too normal." He stated matter of factly.

"Ron, it's not like we're throwing this for you; it's for Hermione. She likes thing to be..." Harry was lost for words. Ron stared at him. "Be... uh, calm." It was, sadly, the only word he could think of.

Ron seamed outraged. "Calm?! Calm, why would you want it to be calm?" Harry just stared at him; in his opinion, Ron was becoming very scary. He just wanted to stop the madness.

"Why don't we just have a nice party? You can decorate in any weird way you want. You can even have a petting zoo for all I care! Just can we please have a party?" He threw his book on to the table, and stood up while knocking over his chair. Harry felt that if they had the party, there was less chance for Ron to be, well...Ron-like. "All I am trying to do is keep a certain level of sanity!" Harry was fuming now. Ron leaned back in his chair and crossed his arms.

"Fine, a party is fine. But I will hold you to an agreement that I will get to decorate." He stuck out his hand for Harry to shake. Harry shook it before he thought of the consequences.

Ron let out a maniacal laugh. "It's going to be the best party ever!" He pronounced before he turned to run upstairs to the boys' dormitories.

Harry felt that this was going to come back and bite him in the butt.

~ A few days later ~

Harry felt queasy since he had let Ron plan the party. The whole thing seemed to hurt him everyday since the beginning of the week. Ron's side of the room had started to be filled with packages; they were under his bed and piled on top of the canopy. In the middle of the night, Harry could also hear little voices or animal noises. Harry could only imagine the look on Hermione's face when she walked into the room and saw the 32 ducks that Ron had kidnapped from the lake.

Ron had also decided to even keep what he was doing from Harry. Ron would be sitting at a table in the common room with stacks of paper and when Harry would walk up, he would make a frantic attempt to stuff them all in his bag. Ron would smile at him and make up some melancholy conversation about the last Quidditch game or how they never seemed to have enough time to do homework.

He had no idea as to what was even going to happen until one day, Ron ran up to him and asked what time they where going to have the party. Harry had thought of telling him the wrong time. That way, whatever he wanted to do he would get it over with. But no such luck; he just couldn't lie to Ron.

But then something quacked from his bag.

"Did you bag just quack?"

Ron looked very nervous.

"No." Ron said. "No it didn't."

A few days later, Harry was standing in the common room, waiting for Hermione to come down. He had a plan to ask her for help on a Potions essay. They picked a classroom on the way to the library so that it wouldn't look too obvious that they were going out of the way.

"Hey," Harry greeted her, trying to hide the feeling of impending doom in his voice.

"Let's get going," Hermione said after greeting him. Harry didn't want to follow her; He knew what was coming. Well, he didn't know exactly what was coming, but he had a feeling that it was going to be shiny and possibly explode.

They walked along the corridors, having normal conversations. When they finally were in the hallway with the classroom, Harry didn't know how to get her in it. He had tried to find a smooth way to lure her in. It was the way of thinking that Harry Potter was very smooth guy.

He rubbed his palms together as they got closer to the door. He barely registered Hermione's voice in his ear. The world seemed to slow down as they were three steps away from the party and Harry started to panic. The only thing he could think of was to grab her and toss her into the room. That's what he ended up doing.

Harry reached out and pulled her by the arm. He twisted the doorknob and literally threw her in the room. She stubbed her foot and when she finally found footing, he turned to her crowd, with her hair in her face, books spilt on the floor, and an expression on her face that resembled a wet and rather pissed off cat.

"Surprise!" roared the crowd. Ron was in front of them with a red hat perched on his head. It had flames coming out of the top.

Harry, who was standing in the doorway, had to brace himself on the frame. The sight was so bright, it could have killed you.

Ron came running up to them with child-like glee. He rocked on his feet with anticipation.

"Well, do you like it?" He twisted a party plate in his hands.

Hermione surveyed the room filled with half-drunk people from spiked butterbeer. The ceiling was enchanted to rain orange confetti, small mice ran around the floor, singing their mellow rendition of 'Happy Birthday', and the mound of presents in the corner had shape-shifted to resemble a water buffalo practicing ballet. Hermione could only smile at Ron's antics.

"I just love it," she stated as Ron turned and ran away with youthful abandon. She smiled to Harry and they walked over the pyramid shaped pile of snacks on the table.

Yes, it was her birthday. Yes, it was very odd. And yes, she wouldn't have it any other way. Don't you just love the moral ending? And you know what's worse? Harry never did find out what happed to all those ducks.