Claire De Lune

Clair De Lune
Chapter Five: Ode to the Beloved

Nothing could have prepared Hermione for this moment.

As she, Remus, and Sirius entered the Potters' residence, she could not keep her eyes off the mirror image of her best friend. James Potter stood before them, his round eyeglasses reflecting the golden light emanating from the brightly lit torches. He had a broad, amused grin on his face as his hazel eyes bounced back and forth from Remus to Sirius, then to Hermione. He buried one hand into his trouser pocket and leaned against the wooden frame of the door, tucking one foot behind the other.

'Oh, Merlin, just like Harry . . . .'

"I'm trying to assess which of my friends tricked you into coming here," said James with a mischievous wink. Hermione's heart palpitated painfully, and she twisted the straps on her bag nervously. 'He even sounds a bit like Harry . . . oh God . . . .'

Sirius cleared his throat, "I will not take credit this time around, unfortunately. It is a well-known fact that Jane intended to land on Remus's front lawn instead of mine."

"This is Jane Conway, James," interrupted Remus, a faint pink tinge appearing on his cheeks. "Jane, this is James Potter."

James stepped forward and grasped her hand firmly. "It is an honor, of course, to meet you," he said with a very gentlemanly smile. Hermione couldn't help but blush; his mannerisms, and not only his physical appearance, bore a striking resemblance to Harry. This was unnerving.

Quickly trying to gather her composure, Hermione answered, rather shakily, "Likewise, Mr. Po-"

"Please, call me James," interjected James with a wave of his hand. "I'm finally out of Hogwarts; I needn't be reminded of the professors." He winked at Hermione again before calling out, "Lily! Sirius and Remus are here."

All the redness in Hermione's cheeks vanished as a woman's voice resonated from the kitchen, "Oh, good. Dinner's just about ready. Come in, you two!"

Sirius trotted ahead of them, the sureness of his step showing that he knew every nook and cranny of the house by heart. James remained in the foyer, pulling the white, lace curtains aside and peering out the window, as if waiting for someone else. Remus accompanied Hermione into the small but cozy dining room. Slender candles burned happily in gleaming silver holders at the center of the rectangular table, surrounded by comfortable chairs with delicately embroidered cushions. The distinct smell of cooked meat reached Hermione's nose, and she turned her head just in time to see a very pretty young woman with flowing red hair enter the room, carrying a huge tray of roast beef.

Sirius hurried forward to help her. "Always up on your feet, are you? You just gave birth!" He set the tray on the table, right next to a bowl of mashed potatoes and rich, steaming gravy.

Lily Potter smiled and said, "With a husband like James, you can never stay off your feet." Sirius burst out laughing.

Hermione marveled at the effectiveness of wizard medicine. It was as if Lily hadn't been pregnant at all. Her festive deep blue dress fit her slim figure beautifully, and though her eyes bore some hint of exhaustion, she looked very strong and very healthy. After Lily had embraced Remus tightly and kissed him fondly on the cheek, she turned to Hermione with a warm, but slightly curious, smile.

"Lily, this is Jane Conway. Jane, my friend, Lily Potter," said Remus automatically.

Lily's smile widened, and she gave Hermione a very firm hug. "It's a pleasure to meet you, Jane. It's lovely to have female company once in a while."

"It's a pleasure to meet you, too, Mrs.-Lily." Hermione caught herself just in time, but she reddened all the same.

Lily laughed genially and took her hand, leading her to the table. "Don't worry, dear. Any friend of Remus and Sirius' is a friend of mine, as well. Although, I do wonder which of them found you first."

"Since when has that become a standardized question?" remarked Remus, raising an eyebrow.

"Since sixth year when you and Sirius ended up dating the same girl."

James walked in after them. His comment produced bouts of laughter from his audience, but Hermione quickly noticed the tautness of his smile before it disappeared. Perhaps the guest he was waiting for in the hallway outside had failed to arrive.

In confirmation to her musings, James continued, "I don't think Peter is coming tonight, but I'm sure he has some reasonable excuse this time."

Lily clicked her tongue. "Oh, James, Peter probably has other business to attend to, so let's just eat and have fun."

Hermione sank into a seat opposite Remus. He smiled at her encouragingly from across the table and said softly, "See? It wasn't that bad, was it?" Hermione flashed him a look of gratitude, but before she could answer, Sirius spoke.

"So where is the little monster?" It was a while before Hermione realized that he was referring to his godson.

"He's sleeping at the moment," answered James as he scooped a large serving of mashed potatoes on his plate. "After dinner, we can all go to the nursery. My son looks just like me," he added to Hermione with a proud smile, "except he has the most gorgeous eyes, which are, of course, my wife's."

"That's lovely," replied Hermione, whose head was buzzing with nothing but thoughts of Harry. Her eyes stung a bit when she affixed, "I'm sure he'll grow up to be just like you."

"Oh, he will," declared James. "When he gets a bit older, I'll buy him a broomstick and teach him Quidditch. He'll learn how to handle a Quaffle before he can even read."

"I don't think Lily will want Harry handling Quaffles without being able to recognize the alphabet, James," smiled Remus as he sipped his wine.

Lily sat down comfortably next to Hermione. "Damn right, I won't," she said with a knowing look at her husband. "I won't have my son crashing into trees and breaking Merlin-knows-what at such a young age."

'Oh, if only you knew.' Hermione's heart plummeted to her stomach. 'Of course, they'll never know because they didn't live to see him grow up.' This startling and saddening realization hit her with the strength of a hundred Bludgers. Her fingers shook as she held her fork. The pain and frustration of being unable to undo the past began to form a painful throb in her chest, and this was only her first day here. She would do anything to allow Harry a glimpse into his parents' lives if she could. Oh, how she wished she could warn them of the dangers lying ahead.

'If only I could.'

"Eat up, Jane!" said Lily, breaking into her disturbing thoughts. "There's more than enough for everyone. I've learned to anticipate the anacondas in Sirius's stomach, not to worry."

Sirius looked indignant as he reached for a second serving of corn. "I do not have bloody serpents in my stomach!"

"Sure you don't." James wiggled his eyebrows at him, causing Remus to snort into his food.

Annoyed with herself, Hermione pushed her thoughts to the back of her mind. There would be time to think about the mind-boggling circumstances later. Yet, she couldn't help but wonder if Professor Lupin remembered her from his younger years. The man sitting before her looked so different from the Remus Lupin she knew. He seemed more happy, more cheerful, and more . . . lively than he was back in her present time.

It took all of Hermione's strength not to remind herself that the three people sitting with them would die unexpected deaths.

*

After dinner, Sirius immediately reached into James's stash of liquor and poured them all tall glasses of mulled mead. Due to her inexperience with alcohol, Hermione refused and instead opted to help Lily clear up the table. Remus accepted a glass, but remained while the other two headed into the living room.

Lily smiled gratefully at Hermione. "I could always clean up with magic, but it's nice to revert to the old Muggle ways."

"Yes, it is," agreed Hermione as she stacked the dirty plates. "I always had to do chores at home."

"Oh, are you a Muggle-born, too?"

"Yes."

Lily's smile widened, seemingly glad that she had found another witch in her situation. "Where are your parents?"

"They're . . . um . . ." Hermione fumbled as she tried to find something that would pair up with her excuse. "They died. They were-er-killed."

Lily and Remus looked at each other meaningfully, both their faces darkening. Hermione suddenly realized the significance of her statement; this was the age of Voldemort's rise to power, and they all must be present members of the Order of the Phoenix.

Remus took a long swig from his glass. "So that's why you were in the orphanage before you came." It was more of a statement than a question, but his tone was kind and gentle.

"Yeah," said Hermione quietly, turning her gaze away from him before he could see through her disguise. Lily saw this as an act of sorrow, and she enveloped Hermione into a tight hug.

"Oh, you poor thing," she murmured, sympathy evident on her face. She pulled away and grasped Hermione's shoulders firmly. "Is there any way we can help you?"

"Jane has no place to stay, Lily," started Remus. "Sirius and I thought . . . ."

"Of course!" answered Lily at once, taking the plates from Hermione. "Stay as long as you like, dear. Do you have a job? What do you do?"

"I, um, study at the academy for post-seventh-year studies," replied Hermione. Thinking that she might as well color her incognito up, she added, "I was given a scholarship by the Ministry."

"That's impressive," nodded Lily. She looked once again at Remus, who was wearing an imploring look. Squeezing Remus's arm reassuringly, she continued, "You know what? I'd love to have you around; I can't really keep track of things with a newborn son."

"Oh, I'll do anything!" said Hermione quickly, thinking of Harry once more. "Just tell me what to do, and I'll do it."

Lily smiled. "I don't want to take you away from your studies, of course. I'll just need an extra hand every now and then, that's all." Her eyes brightened as she added, "Would you like to see my son?"

Hermione's heart skipped a beat. "Yes, please."

"Right this way."

Lily abandoned the dishes and led Hermione out of the kitchen. Remus followed them. They climbed the stairs to the second floor and entered the room at the very end of the hall. Inside, a single torch burned next to a crib, casting long shadows across the floor. A dainty mobile of the different balls of Quidditch rotated slowly overhead, emitting a soft, soothing melody.

Remus leaned against the intricately carved wooden railings, peered into the crib, and smiled broadly. Lily gave a gasp of surprise and reached into the crib to pull her son out.

"Look at that; he's awake!" she announced, cradling him in her arms and walking slowly to Hermione. Hermione held her breath as Lily neared, almost dreading what was about to happen.

Remus gave her an encouraging nudge. "He won't bite."

Her hand shaking visibly, Hermione reached up and pulled the blankets away from baby Harry's face. He gave a huge yawn and turned his head to look at her, his vivid green eyes huge and round. A smile tugged at his small mouth.

A wave of emotion swept over Hermione, and she began to cry. "He's-he's so tiny," she managed, and then laughed at the stupidity of her comment.

Lily arranged Harry's wrappings and held him out to her. "You can hold him." Hermione stared at her, dumbstruck. Surely not? But the smile on Lily's face was ever-so-encouraging that Hermione could do nothing but obey. She slowly took Harry into her arms as more tears streamed down her cheeks. The baby boy looked around curiously, as if sensing the shift in his surroundings, but settled in quickly, snuggling into Hermione's arms.

"He seems to like you," said Remus, grinning warmly.

Hermione stared longingly at the angelic face in her arms. 'Oh, Harry . . . .'

*

August 2, 1997. 2:23 pm

It's done.

Now, all Professor Lupin had to do was sit . . . and wait. But he couldn't sit still. He couldn't wait. Both his body and mind were restless, and he gave into the restiveness by pacing back and forth in his bedroom. He would be pacing for a very long time, he knew, but his memories haunted him and refused to leave him alone.

Memories. Good and bad, they beleaguered him. Tortured him. It was maddening. All at once, he could see flashes of images inside his head, a collection of voices in his ears, all concerning one significant and extraordinary time in his life when he experienced immeasurable joy.

'Will I ever be truly happy again?'

Suddenly, he paused before his bureau, his reflection staring back at him from the dusty glass. But he didn't see himself, with his shabby robes and graying hair. No, he saw his younger self, many years ago, when life didn't seem too overbearing and difficult.

Just then, there was a knock on the door, startling him from his reverie. "Yes?" he called hoarsely, trying to disguise the irritation in his voice. The door swung open, revealing a shock of bubblegum pink hair.

"Remus, are you all right?"

He stared at her for a moment before answering, "I'm fine, Tonks. Why do you ask?"

Tonks approached him and touched the side of his face tenderly. "You seem so tired. Too tired." She then reached up and swept his hair off his forehead.

He sighed, "That I am, Tonks. It's been a stressful day." Tonks wrapped her arms around his waist and pulled him closer to her. It took every ounce of Remus's resolve to comply, but he managed a small smile all the same, as to not arouse any further questions from her.

Tonks whispered, "Can I help you feel better?" Without waiting for an answer, she brushed her lips against his in a gentle kiss. As with all other occasions like this, Remus put only one image forefront in his mind.

'I've never forgotten you.'