Apology For the Devil

Chapter Ten--Serpents' Bite

'Whoever fights monsters should see to it that in the process he does not become a monster. And when you look long into an abyss. The abyss also looks into you.'

[Nietzsche]

Monday is an awful way to spend 1/7th of your life.

[attributed to various]

But surely for everything you have to love you have to pay some price.

[Agatha Christie]

###

The start of term feast and Sorting in Lucius' third year was the most inflammatory event to Slytherins since the time that then-headmistress Derwent had threatened to force the Bloody Baron out of the castle so he wouldn't 'terrorize' the younger students.

The trouble started during the Sorting.

Traditionally, the Sorting Hat sang a song with fairly benign lyrics. It was really only the Muggle-born first-years who needed explanation of the houses, and most of them had heard something about them on the train beforehand. So it wasn't as if anyone really listened, nor were most of them paying attention when it began to sing.

A hat I am, a hat I be;

You'll not find one as wise as me.

Although you look, although you try,

You'll not find one as wise as I.

My job is simple, yet it's clear:

I choose the house you'll have while here--

So listen close, and you'll be told

What character these houses hold.

The first of four, brave Gryffindor

Is chivalry right to its core.

He'll dash to arms with trumpets blaring

And take on tasks with bold and daring.

The Hufflepuff, of solid stuff

Is loyal though the times be rough,

Hardworking though the times be grim

And true to all--admire him.

On smarts he'll draw, our Ravenclaw

Intelligence without a flaw.

His cleverness will sure impress--

He seeks to know, and nothing less.

A nasty grin marks Slytherin,

With morals loose and honour thin.

Without excuses or regret,

He'll take whatever he can get.

So put me on, I'll steer you right.

I'll keep you safe from serpent's bite,

Unless you're made to join their ranks

And take part in their nasty pranks.

If not, then one of other three

I promise you, you'll surely be.

I'll look inside you, know you well

And then to all, your house I'll tell.

Three quarters of the room burst into wild applause at the Hat's song, but the Slytherin table was silent save for the whispers that asked if they'd heard it correctly. The faculty wore bemused expressions; they could hardly condemn the Hat for its choice of lyrics. Professor Slughorn looked less than amused.

The Sorting proceeded as usual, but the resulting distribution of first-years was highly skewed. There were six new Slytherins, out of a class of forty-four. Olivia Mullins burst into tears when the hat informed the room that she would be joining the serpents' ranks.

The feast began, and the angered Slytherins continued discussing options up and down the table. Suggestions ranged from retaliation against the Hat to waiting patiently until things were explained. Lucius had a feeling that, while retaliation would accomplish nothing, things would never be explained. He also had a feeling that a special ASPS session would be called for that night.

He was correct, but the feast wasn't over yet. There was more to come that would warrant discussion by the Associated Student Protectors.

The second event occurred after dinner, when the headmaster gave his traditional start of term speech--another event that most all of the students blatantly ignored.

First came the introduction of the new staff member. Professor Meriwether was taking over as the Defence against the Dark Arts professor, after Professor O'Connell had been forced to retire to her country estate to look after her ailing mother. The replacement had those in upper years commenting that they'd likely have a new Defence professor every year 'til Armageddon.

Dumbledore continued on with the 'safety and security announcements,' as Lucius thought of them. Any Slytherin who had been paying attention to the speech stopped listening. Don't use banned items, don't go into the Forest, etc.

'Another change for the coming year,' Dumbledore continued blandly, 'pertains to the village of Hogsmeade.'

Hogsmeade was the only off-campus location that was within bounds. Anyone second-year and above could visit, and it was seen as a much needed break from confinement to the castle. Hogsmeade had also, historically, been a place for Slytherins to exact revenge on others for various misdeeds. The lack of supervision in the village made Hogsmeade a perfect place for 'disciplinary opportunities,' as ASPS members referred to them. Many students avoided going if they had done something to offend.

Now Dumbledore was making changes. People began to listen again.

'Due to the unfortunate number of incidents that occurred in the village last year, we are restricting privileges for the foreseeable future.'

The students were less than pleased.

'Second-years will not be allowed to leave the campus, and Hogsmeade trips will take place on designated weekends only.'

In fact, the students were mutinous.

Mutters and glares were directed at the Slytherin table, making it very clear that the blame was indeed all on Slytherin. Oh yes, Lucius thought darkly, there will be an ASPS meeting, indeed.

###

When the Slytherins reached the common room following the feast, the poor fifth-year prefects had quite a job of herding the returning students to their dormitories before the first-years arrived. After five minutes, two of the older ASPS members who weren't prefects began helping them, and Lucius supposed that the common room was cleared in time.

Assuming that a meeting would take place following the introduction for first-years, he stayed awake and dressed. He recalled that the speech in his first year had taken approximately thirty minutes, so he would give the council an hour to come for him before going to bed. He sat in his bed, waiting, while the snores of his roommates filled the room.

He had almost decided that the meeting was going to be held sometime later when he felt something grab him by the wrist. Looking down in alarm, he saw that it was a tendril of smoke that wound around his wrist and under the door to the dormitory. It was strangely solid, and it pulled him towards the door.

Lucius complied with the smoke's summons, left the dorm, and quietly closed the door behind him.

###

Breakfast. Lucius knew that he should be getting out of bed for breakfast, but it was so comfortable, and soft, and warm--or it was warm, until Cassidy pulled the blankets off of him and threw them to the side. Lucius curled up, trying to return to his warm and sleepy state, but Cassidy was relentless.

'Come on, Lucius,' he said brightly--much too brightly for such an early morning. 'We need to get our schedules and--you look awful. How late were you up?'

Late. He didn't know exactly when he'd gone to bed, but the meeting had been a long one. It had been called to order by the overly-formal seventh-year chair of the committee, Carey Travers. As the meeting had worn on, it had become more apparent to Lucius that his first day of classes would be shrouded in a fuzzy haze, but it had been worth it to be a part of the decision making body in a time of crisis. It was thrilling, both the sense of authority and the exclusivity of it all.

They'd discussed what to do about the hat's statements, and what to do about the projected increase in anti-Slytherin incidents thanks to the loss of Hogsmeade privileges. Bellatrix Black had been the most vocal at the meeting, giving her opinions in colourful terms that made Travers call the meeting to order several times.

The opinions of the council members represented most of those Lucius had overheard at dinner, though they left out the suggestion that they kidnap the Hat and torture it until it was ready to make a public apology. Lucius got the impression that its omission was due to impracticality, rather than opposition to the idea itself.

By the end of the night, they'd come to several conclusions. They'd probably be seeing more cases of all varieties, as other students attacked Slytherins and as Slytherin students took it upon themselves to get back at their enemies. They talked about ways to streamline the process so they spent less time on each case.

The other plan was to become more brutal with the other houses, in order to provide a deterrent. That idea was championed by fourth-year Rastaban Lestrange and by Bellatrix, but was wholeheartedly supported by all except Zabini.

To protect Slytherin's younger years, ASPS members were assigned to act as point people for the various years--external incidents were to be reported to these members, who would take the issue before the council.

Lucius was assigned as point person for the first-years--all six of them. By the end of the night, the only people without new responsibilities were the seventh-years, who had quite enough to be getting on with, and the two new ASPS members. And with that decision, the ASPS members had headed wearily off to bed.

'Lucius?' Cassidy asked with some concern. Lucius jolted back to the present and groaned. 'I asked how late you were up.'

'Late,' Lucius responded to Cassidy's prodding. 'Go 'way.' Lucius rolled over and put his pillow over his head. Cassidy grabbed that too, and Lucius groaned as he was forced awake

'Well it's your own damned fault if you're tired. Get up now!'

Lucius sighed and rolled off the bed. It was too good to have lasted, really. He changed quickly and stumbled down to breakfast with Cassidy.

He was fortunate that the prefect handing out schedules knew his name this year, because if he'd had to sort through them it would have taken a lot longer. Cassidy immediately wanted to compare, and Lucius passed him his timetable, not wanting to think about anything.

'Why are you taking Ancient Runes?' Cassidy asked with distaste. 'Dull, old, and useless.'

'I'll have you know that some of the most difficult magic involves runes,' Lucius retorted haughtily, 'and it never hurts to get a basic understanding of them early on.' Besides, he added to himself, most Dark rituals use them to some degree.

'I still can't see why you wouldn't take an easy course like Divination.'

'You're one to talk!' Lucius said, slightly more awake, now that he'd had a cup of tea. He'd glanced at Cassidy's timetable a moment before. 'Arithmancy? Granted, I'm taking it with you, but that's hardly an easy course. Why that?'

Cassidy grinned. 'Because Care of Magical Creatures involves being outside in the cold and wet, and Ancient Runes is useless.'

'Ah,' said Lucius, 'you mean you weren't enthused by Muggle Studies?' He smirked at the idea of spending one of his courses learning about the lives of people he hoped never to have contact with.

'Nah,' Cassidy said, 'the class is supposed to have a rubbish professor.'

'And it's Muggle Studies,' Lucius said pointedly. Cassidy looked at him strangely, and Lucius decided that they should probably go to class.

###

Less than two days after the ASPS meeting, Lucius was approached in the common room by a hesitant first-year girl with her hair pulled back into two braids.

'You're our point person, right?' she asked him softly.

'Yes,' Lucius responded, and introduced himself. 'Lucius Malfoy.'

'I'm Serena Murray.'

'Is there a problem?'

'I wanted to report something...I can do that, right?' Lucius nodded at her to go on, and she did. 'I was walking to History of Magic with Maxine and Colin, and we got lost, and there were three Gryffindors who offered to take us to class. So we followed them, because we thought that they would take us to class, because we couldn't find it by ourselves, but instead they took us to a different room and they started hexing us, but I got out the door and found Professor Calvert, and he came and fixed them.' She stopped talking and took a much-needed breath. Lucius had been wondering how long she could speak before coming up for air. 'So...they told us that we should come talk to you if something happened, and...and I'm doing it.'

Lucius nodded reassuringly. 'What can you tell me about the three Gryffindors? Boys or girls? About what year? Could you point them out to me if I gave you pictures? Things like that.'

Serena bit her lip in thought. 'They were boys, all three of them. One of them called another one Devlin, so I think that's his name.'

Lucius sighed and cut her off. 'Let me guess. Three boys, about third year. The one called Devlin was the biggest, one was about my size, and the third was short and skinny?' Serena nodded.

'I know who they are.' He looked over at her. 'Thank you for reporting this,' he said kindly. 'I'll make sure something is done.'

She nodded and smiled shyly. 'Thanks,' she said, and hurried over to where her fellow first-years were waiting.

Renny, Duke and Singer. Lucius would bet anything that it was those three, and Serena's nod had only strengthened his conviction. Lucius was disgusted. It was one thing to have a rivalry with someone in your year, but it was quite another to lead first-years into dark hallways just because of their house.

Something would be done.

###

ASPS convened that Tuesday--Wednesday, Lucius corrected mentally--at midnight. The meetings were no longer held on an as-needed basis; they met regularly. Of course, the regular meetings were 'as needed.' They'd needed a lot of meetings in the past few weeks.

The meeting that day began with a call to order, and a seniority-based introduction of new business. The first with any news was a sixth year, Rookwood. He'd been appointed 'ASPS Investigator,' though Lucius thought 'ASPS Inquisitor' might have been a better title. Rookwood was charged with evaluating the truth behind claims made against people in other houses. That kind of case couldn't be heard by a trial, for obvious reasons, so Rookwood got to determine the truth by whatever means he deemed necessary.

'I looked into the claim against that Hufflepuff fifth-year,' he said matter-of-factly. 'It seems there was some truth to it, but I feel pretty sure that the Hufflepuff was provoked in the first place. I would move that this problem be solved by conversation with both parties--independently, of course--rather than with wands.'

They took a voice vote, and the suggestion was adopted. Lucius almost felt sorry for the Hufflepuff, who would be getting a 'conversational visit' from an upper-year Slytherin. Conversations had a way of turning nasty.

After Rookwood's report, the meeting was bland. Lucius only half-listened, his mind fuming over the Gryffindors' treatment of his first-years. Finally, it was his turn to speak.

'I have new business.' He proceeded to explain the situation, with a little bit of editorializing.

'So I know who they are, I wouldn't put this past them, and we need to respond quickly. If we take time for a full investigation, who knows what they could do.' Lucius' eyes flashed. 'We need to send them a message. Now.'

Lucius sat back down, still intent on cold, hard retribution. The expected debate raged--some agreed that there needed to be swift action taken; others disliked the idea for whatever reason. Lucius got more and more impatient with the slow-moving council. It took ages to decide anything.

He opened his mouth to voice these sentiments, but was stopped by soft-spoken Jamie Almira.

'Lucius is right, and you all know it. You're just not willing to commit.' She looked sadly at the members. 'If we're going to dole out reprisals, we have to do it swiftly and without mercy. I don't like the idea at all, myself. But if we're going to do it, let's do it right.'

Travers had to call for order. By the time the impassioned ASPS were all re-seated, Lucius had been recognized to speak.

'I move for a roll-call vote. Should we act without full investigation?'

'Change in phrasing,' Bellatrix jumped in. Lucius let her. 'Shall we act without further investigation with regards to the present case as laid out by Lucius Malfoy?'

Lucius seconded the motion, and Travers began to tally the votes as he heard them called out.

The council voted to act, in a 7-4 vote.

'I'll do it,' Lucius volunteered, malice dripping from his words.

'No,' Almira said sharply. 'This isn't for you; it's for the first-years. Save your vendetta.' She would accept no argument, but Lucius fumed silently all the same.

Ahearn Zabini got the assignment.

Lucius knew that Zabini wouldn't be the only one taking Slytherin's revenge. Not if he had anything to say about it.

As it turned out, he didn't have anything to say about it. Travers himself came to talk with Lucius after the meeting, and told him in no uncertain terms that if any vigilante action was taken against the Gryffindors, Lucius would face full sanctioning from the council, and could possibly lose his seat.

'If you take action on your own, you are not only going against a direct ASPS order, but you are going against everything the council stands for. That's why we have ASPS, Lucius. So people don't go about taking things into their own hands. Leave it.'

And although a small part of him said 'don't get caught' and another said 'consequences be damned,' he thought he might try following orders for once, to see where it got him.

So he waited, and did nothing.

After the next ASPS meeting, Zabini approached him. 'Lucius,' he started, 'I just wanted to let you know that it's done. You can tell your first-year that things have been taken care of.'

They have? he wondered.

'I'll be sure to let her know, Zabini. What happened?'

Lucius was half-expecting Zabini to shrug and dance around the issue. Instead the other boy smiled wickedly.

'I took care of them.' And he launched into a long story about how he had sent each boy an owl warning them that retribution was coming, and how he had made them wait for five days before that retribution had come. 'Just long enough that they thought it might not happen,' he clarified. Finally, Zabini had followed them outside on a blustery day and transfigured their scarves into snakes. 'And they stepped all over each other trying to get the things off,' he finished.

Lucius laughed at the tale, and noted to himself that sometimes--sometimes--it was worth it to let justice take care of itself.

###

The week before holiday was always the hardest for Lucius. How could he bring himself to care about shrivelfigs and grindylows when it was snowing and he was so close to going home?

He'd taken to studying in his room, where there were fewer distractions. At the moment, he was on his bed reading his astronomy text, while occasionally watching Goyle's futile attempts to do the same on his own bed.

Lucius had just begun a chapter on the 'ecliptic coordinate system' when a familiar voice started him from his text. His mother.

After a brief moment of total confusion, he looked to the mirror on his wall. Sure enough, his mother was trying to reach him through the mirror he'd been given as a means of conversation at the beginning of his first year at Hogwarts.

'Lucius are you there?' she asked for what he thought might be the third time.

He jumped off the bed and went to stand in front of it, where he could be seen.

'Goyle could you give us some--would you go to the common room?'

As Goyle lumbered out, Lucius returned to face his mother.

'Hello, Mother! I wasn't expecting to see you until next week. How are you?'

'Lucius,' she said softly, interrupting him.

He abruptly noticed that his mother didn't look well at all. She was pale and tired, with circles under her eyes. Her usually impeccable hair was slightly mussed, and her eyes had a distant and glazed look to them. He thought she might have been crying.

'Mother?' he asked timidly, waiting for the news that had put her into such a state.

'Lucius,' she began, and her voice was as distant as her eyes, 'I need you to pack everything you will need for winter holiday, as well as any materials for work you have due before then. Groundskeeper Ogg will meet you in the entry hall in two hours to take you to the Hogsmeade Floo point. I have already cleared everything with the headmaster. You are coming home.'

It wasn't until the last sentence that her voice broke slightly.

'Mother, what's happened?' Lucius asked, and waited for a reply, refusing to begin packing until he had at least a vague understanding of why he was packing. It was a long time before his mother found her voice.

'It's your father, Lucius. He's very ill.' She closed her eyes and gathered her strength. 'We'll speak when you arrive in Wiltshire.'

Her image disappeared from the mirror, but Lucius stared at the empty frame for a full minute before turning to his task. His thoughts were racing, each possibility worse than the last, until it was all he could do to keep from screaming.

His father was ill. Abraxas, the strong patriarch, had fallen ill enough that Lucius was being pulled out of school a week early. His mother wouldn't have done that if it wasn't serious. What if he was dying? What if he was dead when Lucius got there? What if the last thing he'd ever said to his father was--what was it, anyway? And why couldn't he remember it? What if his father died without ever knowing how much Lucius needed him, respected him, loved him? What if it was already too late? And why wasn't he packing? Pack, Lucius! he commanded himself. But Father...

A part of him desperately wanted someone to just Imperio him so he wouldn't have to think any longer. As it was, he'd barely packed anything in the fifteen minutes he'd been trying.

Forget this, he thought, and looked in the mirror again, this time to be sure that the façade he had constructed was firmly in place. He went out to the common room.

He hadn't been clear on precisely what he plan was, but figured out a course of action when he saw Bellatrix Black curled up in an armchair watching a game of chess. He approached her.

'Bellatrix Black?'

She turned her head and looked up at him, recognizing him.

'Would you...could I speak to you for a moment please?'

She nodded shortly, and wordlessly followed him to his room. Once they were inside, he let his façade drop partially.

'I need help,' he said plainly, and hoped he hadn't made a mistake in asking the older girl.

'What do you need?' she asked, and her tone distinctly told him that he hadn't made a mistake at all.

'I've--' Lucius stopped himself from launching into the long tale, and instead settled on a shorter version. 'I need a Calming Draught, or something like it. I need to pack my things in the next hour, and I'm having trouble due to...a shock.'

She nodded her understanding.

'Three options,' she said frankly, without asking any questions. 'First, a Calming Draught. Standard, but it'll make you drowsy and muddled for the rest of the day. Second would be a Cheering Charm, though be careful that you aren't cheering yourself before entering a situation where that would be awkward.'

He nodded at her accuracy. Showing up at the Manor post-Cheering Charm would probably not be a good idea at this point.

'Your third option,' she continued, 'is Dark.'

She paused to gauge his reaction, which he kept as openly neutral as he could given that his emotional control was shot to hell. Still, Bellatrix must have found it a good enough response.

'The Obstrusum Potion. Also known as willwater or Imperio-in-a-bottle.'

'How does it work?' he asked, figuring that they'd each accepted that the other was at least open to the idea of the Dark Arts.

'One generous sip and you will follow the next instructions given to you, much as if under the Curse. The primary difference is that the instruction followed is only the first one you hear after taking the potion, rather than any instruction given by the caster. It means that you can't be made to do anything after that first instruction is given. It also means you can give yourself the direction, if you choose. It was classified illegal after it became a popular...additive at assorted social functions.'

'And do you know where I might acquire some?'

Bellatrix smiled. 'I'll fetch you some from my stock. A fabulous late-night study aid, I might add.'

'And in exchange?' Lucius knew that nothing in Slytherin came free.

Bellatrix seemed to hesitate before naming her price. 'I have someone I'd like you to meet, Lucius. If you'll come with me some time, say, over this holiday or even summer, it would be quite adequate.'

Lucius knew that he was really in no state to be making bargains, but he frankly did not care.

'Would you please fetch me some of the willwater?' he asked politely.

'Of course,' she smiled, and then was gone.

Lucius began trembling as soon as she'd left the room, running a hand through his hair repeatedly. His thoughts returned to the state of his father's health, and all of the what-ifs that accompanied that train of thought.

When Bellatrix returned, it was with a small bottle of bright pink liquid, and with more instructions for Lucius.

'When you give yourself a direction, don't forget to be specific, and to include a time limit. I can't stress that enough. If there's no time limit, you're essentially under a directionless Imperius until it works its way out of your bloodstream, which,' she added unnecessarily, 'is a very bad idea.'

'Right,' Lucius said, taking the vial, 'Generous sip, state aloud clear instructions with time limit included, and meet your contact at some point within the year. Does that cover it?'

'I believe it does. I'll leave you in here alone so you don't need to worry about any other instructions being given.'

She turned to go, but Lucius stopped her as she got to the door.

'Bellatrix?'

She turned back to him.

'Thank you.'

She shrugged as if to say that it had only been the decent thing to do.

Alone now, Lucius took what he determined a generous sip, and spoke his directions aloud. He essentially repeated what his mother had said, but with a few added points: act as if normal, bring trunk with you at all times, and cease potion effects upon entry to Malfoy Manor.

For a moment, he worried it hadn't worked--perhaps he was missing a key instruction? Then he felt a peace descend upon him, and all of the weight that had been pressing down lifted, leaving him free and calm.

Before he knew it, he stood with his trunk in the foyer of Malfoy Manor, scarcely a memory of how he'd gotten there.

###

Lucius walked hesitantly into his parents' darkened bedroom. His father lay on the bed, propped by pillows into a sitting position.

'Father?' Lucius asked softly, not wanting to wake him.

But he was already awake. 'Lucius, come in. Open those shades, would you?' Abraxas' voice was softer than normal, but it was steady. 'Your mother seems to think I'll recover better in a room that feels like a crypt.'

While he spoke, Lucius had obediently pulled back the drapes. When lit with sunlight, the room was almost cheery.

'Orchideous,' he said. Flowers appeared and Lucius put them in a dusty vase on the mantle. 'The room needed flowers,' he explained. His father chuckled softly.

'Yes,' Abraxas agreed, 'it did.' His face went sour. 'And your mother won't let me cast spells either.'

'Are you...are you really that sick?' Lucius asked.

Abraxas sighed. 'It's difficult to say. I shouldn't be sick at all. That fact is more worrisome than the symptoms themselves.'

'What do you mean you shouldn't be sick?' Lucius asked with a furrowed brow. 'Everyone gets sick. Last year, I had the flu, and you said--'

'It's complicated, Lucius.'

That always meant that the subject should be dropped. So Lucius dropped it.

'Do you want to see what I learned last term?' he asked eagerly. 'Other than the flowers, I mean. Though I did that on my own.'

'That's a very good idea, Lucius. Why don't you show me what you learnt?'

###

When he left his father's room, he thought back on the part of the conversation he'd been told to leave alone. Because after all, the subjects that couldn't be discussed were always more interesting to think about than the ones that could be. Why was it so much more complicated than being sick? Alright, so he was very sick. But he's going to get better. So why is it so complicated?

Lucius sought out his mother to ask for her help in figuring out the riddle. He found her in the solarium working on a needlepoint project.

'What's wrong with him, mother?' Lucius asked without preamble, shifting from foot to foot.

'It's dragon pox, love,' she answered simply. Lucius was not impressed.

'But there's a cure for that, right? I had them when I was younger, and I'm just fine.'

'Yes, someone found a cure for it a few hundred years ago. But it's...more complicated than that.' She paused in her needlework.

'Tell me,' he said stubbornly. His mother sighed.

'I really don't have time for this, Lucius. Why don't you go finish your schoolwork?'

Lucius didn't tell her that this topic of discussion was more important than any schoolwork could be. He pressed on.

'But he's...Father's going to be alright, isn't he?'

'Please, Lucius...go.'

More complicated indeed.

###

The Christmas Ball should have been a more subdued affair that year, but Lucius' mother had thrown herself into the planning with reckless abandon. She was trying, with limited success, to distract herself from her husband's sickbed.

Lucius spent all of his spare time sitting with his father. They would talk, or Lucius would read aloud, or they would sit and share the silence.

The happiest spot in the pre-Christmas festivities was when the mediwizard came and declared that Abraxas was through the worst of it, and that fluids and bed rest would complete his healing. The house brightened considerably.

The good news also gave Lucius' mother an opportunity to suggest that her son buy new formal robes. He did, of course. He sat through the two-hour fitting session with a pleasant mask on, but he did feel like smashing a few things on the way home.

Christmas Eve dawned, and Lucius began helping his mother to set up. She insisted that the normal Christmas traditions go on as they always had, but both of them thought of nothing but the bedroom upstairs where Abraxas lay. Hanging garlands and trimming the tree only made his absence more conspicuous.

While they were placing baubles on the evergreen branches, Lucius glanced at his mother. Her face was mild and her look vacant; she hung ornaments only to pass the time. He hated that. He really hated that the situation had reduced his mother to a lifeless porcelain doll.

Lucius lifted the ornament that was to crown the top of the tree: a golden star that had been in the Malfoy family for ages. As he set it in place, he looked sadly at the completed tree. This was so unfair. His father should be there with them. Lucius stared at the tree for some time, frustration bubbling within him at the way this Christmas was turning out.

And then the branches were suddenly covered with tinsel.

Lucius whirled around and saw his father standing in the doorway. Abraxas was a little unsteady, but Lucius hardly noticed.

'Father!' he cried, and ran up to the recovering man. 'Are you well again?'

Abraxas laughed in happiness at seeing his son. 'Not quite yet, Lucius. But I will be.'

Some of the weight Lucius had been carrying seemed to lift off of him. Until then, he hadn't realized how much of his anger and frustration was really masking a deep worry over his father's health. Now that he knew Abraxas would be okay, Lucius could forgive the world a little bit. He buried his head in his father's chest, so glad to have him back. The melancholy began receding, and for the first time in weeks, Lucius felt a little bit alive.

Now that Abraxas' health was assured, Lucius allowed himself to consider the other possibilities that he hadn't dared think of. What if his father had gotten sicker...what if he had died? Lucius realised he didn't know at all what he would do.

'Don't ever leave me, Father,' he whispered, the sound muffled by his father's shirt. 'I need you so much, for so many things.'

Lucius was so lost in thought that he didn't hear Abraxas' soft reply.

'I need you too, son.'