Wolf

Wolf

Lanni Weasley

The half moon gave off a leery light that night as a thin figure crossed the yard. The figure, coated in a black cloak that was too large, paused for a second to look up at the moon before a much warmer light flooded the ground, casting a shadow much larger than the figure.

"Tonks, you can't stand out there forever!" a reproving voice called. Then the voice softened into a motherly voice that was sorely missed, "Come inside. It's not safe anymore."

The thin figure did as she was told and walked inside the haphazard-looking house. Inside, however, it was clean and had a very warm looking and feeling all around it. The feeling filled you up, and you couldn't help but feel at ease and slightly better.

"I'm glad you came; I couldn't stand the thought of you being alone-" Molly Weasley was smart enough to cut herself off. She smiled sadly. "Would you like a cup of tea?"

The figure lowered their hood to reveal that Nymphadora Tonks was hiding underneath the cloak. She nodded her head, lips pressed together. Molly nodded her head and went to pour two cups of tea. Tonks ran a hand through her hair and caught her reflection in the window. She did not look very well; her mousy-brown hair was a mess. Frowning, she tried to smooth it down with her hands. In hopes that Molly would not get so worked up over her, she screwed her eyes shut and attempted to change her hair colour. When she opened her eyes, however, her hair was still the same mousy-brown. Tears begged to be allowed to slide down her face.

"Still having trouble?"

Tonks jumped and spun around. Molly's voice had startled her. It was normal for Molly to wear a motherly, concerned look on her face in the presence of Tonks. Things had not been well for her at all for the past few weeks. Molly held the cup of tea out, which Tonks took, muttering a small thank you, and then sat down. Molly sat down across from her immediately. The look on her face prompted Tonks to speak.

"I...I've been struggling for a while," Tonks mumbled. She took a sip. Molly's concerned brown eyes never blinked or looked away. Contrary to what others might think, Tonks took them quite happily. "It was only a few days ago that I got it to change from black..."

"It's a start," Molly said softly, "a sign that you're getting better, at least. I'm glad. You know, the offer I gave you then is still open."

"I know," Tonks whispered. She then looked down into her tea, staring at her reflection in the murky brown colour. She looked worse with that colouring. Her hands clutched the cup like it was a lifeline; she tried to loosen her grip.

Molly put a sudden hand on Tonks arm, making Tonks look up at her. "Sirius wouldn't want you to mope around like this." Tonks bit her lip as tears filled her eyes. "It's not your fault - it was never your fault."

Tonks burst. "But if I hadn't have fallen to Bellatrix, if I had beat her like I'm supposed to, she never would've-"

"Quit talking nonsense, Tonks," Molly admonished immediately. "You did what you did, what you were supposed to do."

"But I didn't do it well enough!" Tonks hissed, furious with herself all over again. "For heaven's sake, I'm a bloody Auror! I'm trained in duelling; I was prepared; I had everything handed to me - yet I failed spectacularly."

"Tonks, you can't live on if you continued with that mindset," Molly sighed. Tonks looked away from her, gripping the cup tightly again. "You're not going to get anywhere."

"I'm not cut out to be an Auror," Tonks whispered miserably. Her grip went completely slack as her face fell and her head drooped in shame. "I'm horrible, terrible, no-good. I'm just a worthless pile of dung." Tears fought their way into her eyes, blurring her vision. "It may not have been my fault entirely that Sirius was killed, but I...I didn't help the situation any that caused it."

"Nymphadora Tonks!" The tone in Molly's voice specifically stated that she was not to be argued with. Tonks tried not to flinch. "I will have none of this! You can't stay like this. Sirius wouldn't want this, you know that. You did you best-"

"But my best just didn't cut it!" Tonks snapped.

"It is for some people, including me and - and-"

Tonks knew who else, but Molly wasn't about to say it out loud. Molly calmed down and sighed exasperatedly. She pulled her hand away.

"When I gave that offer," Molly said quietly, "I didn't expect it to come out like this."

Tonks gave a small, bitter laugh. "It's all right, Molly," she replied, staring into her tea once again. "I needed it. You know how stubborn I am."

"And you know how stubborn I am," Molly said with a faint smile. Tonks nodded her head. "If you want a quieter talk about him, you know I'll always be here for you."

"Th-thanks, Molly." Tonks truly appreciated Molly's concern and welcomed it whole-heartedly; it was something that she was missing as the days went by.

"How is your mother doing?" Molly asked, trying to sound casual but failing miraculously.

This time, tears managed to slip out of Tonks's eyes. She wiped them away quickly, but not before Molly spotted them. "Oh, well...not so good," Tonks admitted. She heard Molly take a short intake of breath, almost like a gasp. "The Healers at St. Mungos are unsure if she's going to make it or not." It seemed to take all the self-restraint Molly had not to pull Tonks in a motherly embrace. "It was Bellatrix's doing; I know that for sure. It's revenge for leaving probably." She paused again. "I should've been there."

"You were at work, Tonks, and none of us had any inkling that there would be an attack on your family," Molly told her. "Besides, your mother is a remarkable witch; I'm sure that she'll get better very soon."

Tonks wiped at her eyes again. "My mother doesn't have this colour of brown for hair. I'm such a stupid girl."

"What are you talking about?" Molly asked, looking uneasy.

Tonks frowned. "You know exactly what I'm talking about." She gave an agitated growl. "My life just keeps getting more complicated! This stupid war - I just want to slow down a bit. I just want - want...a lot of things to go away!"

"And come?" Molly whispered.

Tonks merely nodded her head painfully, more tears slipping down her face.

"He's mourning still," Molly told her softly, grabbing her hands in a comforting manner. "You'll see; it takes a bit of time. You're still mourning, too."

"It's not that," Tonks muttered. "I know he's still mourning, and I don't want to disturb him yet. It's just...I thought that maybe...I'd help him, but...he's drifting away from me." She even sounded hurt. "And then, he gets in those modes where he wants to talk about Sirius with me, but he freezes or gets uneasy or whatever and makes excuses to leave. I don't understand what he's doing!"

"Men," Molly said, smiling regretfully, "are sometimes hard to understand and difficult to bear with. But we women are said to be even more baffling."

Tonks took a deep breath and rubbed her eyes. "He just keeps sending so many mixed signals at me; I'm confused. First, he'll look at me, walk over to me, and then just do a 180 and start talking to someone else. Sometimes, he'll actually start talking to me and then suddenly stop, excuse himself, and almost run away!" Tonks ran her hands through her hair again. "And then, yesterday, every time I looked over at him, he was looking at me, even smiled once, but before I had a chance to talk to him, he was gone! What's his problem?"

"I think Remus is still trying to decipher his feelings for you, dear," Molly said sheepishly.

Tonks huffed. "Well, I wished he'd quit deciphering them while in my company," she mumbled irritably. "That way, I wouldn't be so confused either."

"Well, most men don't realise what they're doing when they're thinking or that they're driving women up the wall," Molly explained, laughing quietly. Tonks rolled her eyes. "He may also be feeling guilty himself."

"What should he feel guilty about?" Tonks demanded. "He did everything perfectly at the Ministry. He even protected Harry from getting hurt again. I was unconscious."

Molly sighed. "I don't pretend to be an expert on men's feelings. I am only relying on the experience I've had with a few very past boyfriends, Arthur, and my six sons."

"Much more experience than I've had at least," Tonks mumbled.

"But I think that Remus may feel guilty about being happy - or even having someone that cares about him like you do - when Sirius never had the chance," Molly continued slowly. "I know that that is no reason why Remus should feel guilty, but that may be the cause. He also may feel guilty for even fancying you because-"

"What? There's no reason for him to feel guilty if I fancy him back!" Tonks exclaimed.

"-because he may feel that you deserve better," Molly said, ignoring Tonks's interjection.

"But I fancy him!" Tonks declared hysterically. "Shouldn't that be a clue that I don't give a damn about this stupid nonsense about 'me deserving better'. He's better than me! Perhaps he deserves better." At this statement, Tonks began to worry. "Oh, no, he does deserve better than me. Oh, no, I can't believe I've been so-"

Tonks caught the look on Molly's face and closed her mouth immediately.

"As I was saying," Molly started again, "he might be under the impression that since he's a werewolf and not, well, wealthy" - she blushed while saying that - "it would not be wise or somehow good of him to date you or whatnot. I'm sure he's told himself that he could hurt you or worse."

"Does he not think I'm sensible enough to know when the full moon is?" Tonks muttered.

"Of course he doesn't think that!" Molly laughed. "You should hear the way he goes on about you-" Tonks blushed furiously; Molly grinned sheepishly as she caught herself. "But you've got to understand that he's probably wrapped himself up in the notion that you deserve someone that doesn't have a chance at killing you and someone that can support you financially."

This made Tonks protest automatically. "But I don't-"

"Of course you don't need any financial support," Molly interrupted calmly. "It's just a man's way of thinking sometimes. I had a nice job going before I became pregnant with Charlie, and Arthur became so panicky after that, afraid that if I had to quit my job, we'd sink because he'd be the only one bringing in the money. Arthur's been crazed about supporting us ever since. In the beginning, I got more money than he did when I still had a money paying job. It hurt Arthur that he wasn't the one that supported the family. I had to quit after Charlie was born because two boys were hard to handle after a day's work."

"That's silly," Tonks said. Then, she blushed. "I mean, not you quitting your job because you had to, but Arthur being hurt because he wasn't the one bringing in most of the money."

"You're right, but men are unbelievable at times," Molly replied.

The conversation was cut short by a small silvery squirrel entering the kitchen. While Molly raised her eyebrow, Tonks grinned - a grin that hadn't appeared in a long time. If she had felt better, she probably would've laughed.

"What is that?" Molly demanded.

The grin on Tonks's face began to fade, but she still felt the warm after-effects of something humorous happening. "That's Dedalus Diggle's Patronus; a bit funny, isn't it?"

Molly had a hand on her chest, looking at the silver squirrel curiously. "Dear me, I can't picture the thing chasing away a Dementor."

"Never underestimate a squirrel, Molly," Tonks said half seriously as she stood up. Molly raised her eyebrows. "They're vicious little buggers when they want to be." Molly then smiled faintly and rolled her eyes. Tonks set the empty cup down. "Thank you for the tea, but I have to go now. It's back on watch duty for me."

"Over Harry?" Molly's eyes lit up. Tonks nodded her head. "It won't be long now, will it?"

"No, Dumbledore says just a few more days will do it, and he'll be over here," Tonks replied while taking out her wand. Molly beamed. "I have to contact, Dedalus-" She slowly turned around and shot Molly a glower. "Molly, you didn't!" Molly bit her lip even as she turned bright red. "Molly!"

"Oh, all right, all right!" Molly burst, sighing with relief. "I put a Cheering Potion in your tea."

"I knew it tasted funny!" Tonks exclaimed. "I thought it was just lemon. So that's why I leave this place with some hopeful, happy feeling."

"I was just helping," Molly stated.

Tonks eyed Molly for a moment, but Molly never backed down. She looked defiant as ever and wore a look that plainly said that she didn't feel guilty about it at all. A small smile came upon Tonk's face. "Oh, it's okay," she sighed. "It does help." Molly gave a triumphant look that looked slightly strange on her. Tonks snorted. "I should be off now. It was a pleasure."

"Do come back soon," Molly said, sounding hopeful. Tonks raised an eyebrow. "I do enjoy another woman's company."

Tonks flashed a puzzled look. "But you've got Fleur-" The look on Molly's face showed Tonks that this was not a very good thing. "Oh, I see. Well, do you...do you think I could come back tomorrow night? I'd come for lunch, but I have work..."

Molly beamed. "That's wonderful!" There was a certain tone in her voice that struck Tonks as a bit strange; there was even a gleam in her eyes that made Tonks wary.

"Okay, well, I have to..." Tonks trailed off as she walked outside. Molly jumped to her feet and stood in the doorway, always making sure that she left properly.

Tonks stood outside, the half moon shining down on her. She closed her eyes and sought after a happy memory. The mental picture of her as a very young girl being chased around the yard while laughing loudly by her father burst into her mind, like it was yesterday. She raised her wand and thought, somewhat happily, Expecto Patronum!

She confidently expected to see a monkey (her favourite animal); instead, she was given the shock of her life to see a silver wolf erupt from her wand. She blanched. Behind her, she heard Molly give a very audible gasp. The wolf stopped and looked back at Tonks, as if asking for her approval, before howling and then taking off.

Confusion and shock filled Tonks all the way up like a tall glass. She felt frozen, hands stuck at her sides stiffly as she gaped at the retreating silver wolf. Now all was left was silence until she heard the pitter-patter of feet and then Molly's grasp on her arm.

"Tonks, your Patronus - it's changed!" Molly gasped again.

"I - I don't understand," Tonks managed weakly, going limp.

Molly eyed her. "Don't you?"

Tonks shook her head silently, trying to understand how her Patronus could've changed on her without realizing it - how it could've changed into a - into a-

"A wolf, Tonks," Molly said softly. "You know what it means."

"But I..." Tonks trailed off. Of course she knew what it meant. She knew how much she cared about Remus, but she hadn't thought in her wildest dreams that her Patronus would change because of him. It seemed illogical, even somewhat inconceivable.

A wolf, Tonks thought. I hope Dedalus doesn't get scared off. He won't know it's me. I hope this doesn't change a lot.

~*~

Tonks couldn't stop thinking about her Patronus the next day. Even as Rufus Scrimgeour, the newly instated Minister of Magic and her old boss (although, he was technically still her boss), had rattled on about ensuring Hogwarts students' safety, the silvery wolf poked its curious head into her mind, howling at an invisible full moon in her still mousy-brown head.

"Calming down since we've got a new boss?" Evan Proudfoot had whispered in her ear. Tonks had nodded her head vaguely, having barely heard him, picturing the silver wolf growling at him. "I'm not sure that that brownish colour suits you well."

He doesn't know what he's talking about, Tonks thought irritably as she stalked across the Burrow's yard in the darkness that night. Bloody idiot. It's my hair!

She just couldn't change it because she was having "technical difficulties." If she hadn't been so in thought at the time, she probably would've shot Proudfoot a glare, but instead, she had nodded very absentmindedly.

Tonks knocked on the Burrow door. "Molly, it's Tonks, may I come in?"

"What's your Patronus?" an unusually sly voice came.

"You know damn well what it is!" Tonks hissed embarrassedly, glowing bright red. The door opened; Molly was standing there, smiling sheepishly again. Tonks entered and took her cloak off immediately. It was a little warmer inside than usual.

"Tea, as usual, I presume," Molly said briskly as she took Tonks's cloak away from her and hung it up.

Tonks nodded her head. "But no Cheering Potion this time, Molly," she called. Molly had the grace to blush. "I want to know if I'll actually feel better without it this time."

"Oh, all right, if you insist," Molly sighed. "Go sit in the living room and relax. I know you must be tired from work. Ron and Ginny are in there playing chess, I believe; Ginny wants to see you, also."

"Too much Delacour?" Tonks whispered slyly.

Molly hushed her and bustled into the kitchen hastily. Tonks smiled faintly to herself, feeling somehow accomplished, and walked into the living room. She could hear Ron and Ginny arguing over a move and someone laughing. She wondered who else was in the room, even though that laugh sounded awfully familiar; her stomach twisted for some reason, too.

The smile immediately slid off her face when she entered the living room and her stomach felt like it did a triple back flip.

"That's impossible!" Ginny was exclaiming as she examined the chessboard while Ron grinned proudly. "I can't believe-" She cut herself when she realised the guffawing had stopped. Both she and Ron looked up and spotted Tonks. Then, their heads swivelled around.

Silence overtook the room. And all Tonks could seemingly do was stare back at Remus Lupin, who had been laughing seconds ago at Ron and Ginny and was now sitting on the couch stiffly and silently.

"Er, we should go prepare Fred and George's old room for Harry," Ginny suddenly piped up.

Ron shot her a confused look. "What? But I've already-"

"You can't fix anything properly," Ginny interrupted hastily, jumping to her feet and dragging Ron up, too. He glared at her until she gave him a pointed look.

A look of comprehension dawned on Ron's face. "Oh, uh, yeah, I was meaning to ask you for help since I'm, erm..." He glared at her again.

"'Bye, Tonks! I'll see you in a bit again!" Ginny smiled cheerfully at Tonks and then dashed up the stairs, Ron right behind her. Silence befell again.

Remus seemed to pull himself together first. He bolted to his feet, as if the couch had begun to catch on fire. His face did look a little flushed. He smiled weakly. "Tonks, I didn't know you were coming over."

"I didn't know you were coming over either," Tonks replied quickly.

"Er, well, you just missed dinner, I'm afraid," Remus told her. "If you're still hungry, I'm sure Molly could-"

"No, I'm fine, I already ate," Tonks said.

"Oh, well then..." And Remus drifted off. Tonks bit her lip. Remus looked up at the ceiling and scratched the back of his head nervously. "Maybe I should-"

But Molly walked into the living room and handed Tonks her tea. "Remus, I can't have you leaving just now!" she declared. "You just got here!"

Remus's brow furrowed. "No, I-"

"So, you just come here to eat and then leave?" Molly raised her eyebrows.

Remus smiled weakly again. "Of course not, Molly, that would be rude of me." She smiled at him, looking pleased with herself. Tonks eyed her curiously, knowing exactly what Molly was doing. "I'll have a cup of tea, too, if you don't mind."

"Of course I don't mind, Remus," Molly said. With a flick of her wand, a cup of tea appeared and she handed it over to Remus. "I'll just leave you two alone. I daresay, you haven't seen each other in a while!"

Right as Molly flashed Remus a look and disappeared into the kitchen again, Tonks took an unnecessary large gulp of tea and began to choke.

Remus jumped, set his cup down, and tried to help her. "Are you all right?" he asked, his voice filled with concern.

Tonks coughed and blinked. "Yes," she replied hoarsely. She coughed again and repeated in a softer voice, "Yes, I'm okay, I'm okay." She waved him off. He backed away from her after giving her another anxious look. They stood there in silence, staring at each other. "So, um, what have you been doing?"

Tonks seriously wanted to slap herself or bang her head against the wall. 'What have you been doing?' Bah! Was she going mad? That had been the utmost stupidest thing she'd ever said in her life - and she'd said a lot of stupid things, too. She felt her face grow hot.

"Well, not much really," Remus commented, picking his tea back up and sitting down in the closest seat. Tonks forced herself to sit down on the couch where he had just been. "I mean, you know that Dumbledore's given me that new mission and all so I'm just sort of 'settling in' down there at the moment."

Tonks couldn't think up a decent reply so all she could get out was an "Oh" and a frown. She didn't want Remus to have to live with other werewolves underground, but he was the only one that could. He was ready-made, as he'd said when her first told her of his new mission.

"What about you?" Remus replied. "Have you done anything exciting lately?"

"No," Tonks muttered. "Besides, watching over Harry a bit at the Dursleys, I'm just trying to get a feel with the new Head of the Auror office, you know."

"Like him?" Remus asked.

I like you, Tonks thought immediately.

But instead of saying that, Tonks sighed. "I don't have much of a choice, but I suppose he's...okay. He could get better in time, I guess."

"Most people do," Remus explained.

They sat in silence again. It was at the moment that Tonks realised she was still bearing the same mousy-brown hair that horribly mirrored Remus's. She could feel her face grow hotter, but she tried to stop herself from blushing, feeling that it would look strange to Remus for her to suddenly turn pink for no apparent reason. She couldn't help but wonder what he thought, if he liked it, if he felt horrified, if he thought it looked awful... Her face was burning by now; she looked away quickly.

Remus sounded to have gulped. "Your hair, it looks-"

There was a sudden shriek from the kitchen. Both Remus and Tonks jumped to their feet and pulled out their wands, accidentally knocking their cups of tea onto the carpet. Even Ron came crashing down the stairs. Ginny was more graceful, but yelped, "Mum!" and then tripped over Ron.

Tonks and Remus started for the kitchen, but were intercepted. Tonks jumped back and fell onto Remus, knocking him down and then falling on top of him. Neither of them moved, however, as they stared up at the large, silver phoenix that flew above them and then landed on Tonks's shoulder majestically.

"Dumbledore," she breathed. She was unaware that she was still sitting on Remus, although he seemed to be unaware of her weight on him as he stared at the Patronus. "I wonder what he-" As she went to sit up, Remus grunted. Molly ran into the room and eyed them. Tonks looked back and spotted that she was sitting on him and had pressed her hand into his gut to push herself up. "Oh...oh! I'm sorry, Remus, I didn't realise that I'd fell onto you!"

All in all, the situation was very embarrassing. Tonks jumped to her feet as the phoenix Patronus disappeared. She helped Remus up and then quickly let go of his hand. Both looked away from each other, blushing again.

"I'm still not getting used to that," Molly muttered, waving her hand where the phoenix had disappeared.

"Ah, well, I should reply to him," Tonks sighed. "I suppose he wants to talk about me. My Head has been saying something about me being stationed somewhere... Sorry about leaving so soon, Molly."

"Oh, it's okay, just come back again," Molly sighed. Tonks walked out of the Burrow, grabbing her cloak as she did so; Molly and Remus followed as usual to make sure she made it okay. But suddenly, unknown to Tonks, Molly stopped and then swiftly walked back into the house, leaving Remus and Tonks alone outside.

Another clear, joyful memory popped in Tonks's mind (embarrassingly, her first meeting with Remus) and her Patronus came out of her wand. It was right before it was clear did Tonks remember that it had changed.

"No-" She suddenly gasped and threw her hands over her eyes when she saw her wolf Patronus, silver and obvious, standing in front of her. She heard something near a choking sound from behind her.

"Er, Tonks, your Patronus...it - it..." Remus couldn't seem to continue.

Slowly, Tonks lowered her hands from her eyes and took a deep breath. She turned around to face Remus, his face bright red in the moonlight. She ran a hand through her hair and then looked to the side. "Yeah, I know, it changed," she sighed, "last night."

"Into a wolf, I see," Remus said. Tonks nodded her head. "It - I mean - it's nice."

Tonks smiled wanly. "It's you." She knew that Remus looked uneasy and stunned at the same time, even without looking at him. "But yes, it is nice and comforting."

"Me?" Remus sounded even confused. She didn't know how he could be.

Finally, Tonks brought her eyes up to his, somewhat defiantly. "Yeah, it's you," she told him firmly. Remus appeared to be resisting the urge to bite his lip or run away again. "Oh, c'mon, don't tell me you don't understand!" Remus couldn't seem to say anything, but his silence clearly meant that he didn't understand - or, at least, he was trying to act like he didn't know what she was talking about. Tonks stepped closer to him. "I - I fancy you."

"Oh...well, I, um, Fred or George said something like that at dinner before they left," Remus muttered as he tugged at his collar. Tonks looked at him hopefully, eyes almost pleading with him. He looked even more anxious. "Listen, Tonks; I'm not the type of-"

"Of course you're the type of man I'm looking for!" Tonks burst before he could say it. He looked surprised. "I wouldn't fancy a bloke if he wasn't my type." She then caught herself and felt like running away, herself. "I - I mean, well...you know what I meant."

"You deserve someone better, Tonks," Remus told her quietly, waving his hand at her leaving wolf Patronus. "Not someone like me." Tears begged to come out of her eyes again as her hope began to diminish. "You're a really good witch and-"

"And I don't care," Tonks whispered, interrupting him successfully. He gawked at her. "You're a great wizard and a man." He opened his mouth, but she cut in, "Don't interrupt me." He closed his mouth, giving her a quizzical look. "I don't care that you're a werewolf. It doesn't make you any less human, in my opinion."

"Well, technically, once a month-" Remus began.

"Yes, yes, I know," Tonks said exasperatedly. "But you're brilliant, kind, good, and - and so much more that I can't think of because I'm standing so close to you!" She laughed nervously, willing her nerves to disappear.

Remus rubbed the back of his neck and looked away from her. "Tonks, we're in the middle of a war," he mumbled. "This isn't the time or place to... Well, when I thought of telling - this shouldn't be happening."

"You're so frustrating!" Tonks exclaimed.

"So are you," Remus replied calmly.

Tonks eyed him and then sighed. "Can you - can you just give this a chance?"

"Give what a chance?"

"Us!" Tonks said, even though she knew that if she blushed anymore, she'd blow up. "I mean, you're the best man I've ever met in a long time."

"Tonks, listen to me," Remus said firmly. "You deserve someone a lot better than me. I will never be able to - to do a lot of stuff for you that others can!" Tonks huffed, telling him that she didn't care. "I am...not good enough for you. And where I'm going...it'll just make you a more vulnerable target if..."

Tonks looked up at him, tears falling down her face, pleading with him again silently.

"You deserve better," Remus finally stated, standing up straight and taking a step back from her. "I'm sorry."

"But all those other times!" Tonks blurted furiously. "What, were you just leading me on or whatever? Was it fun? Did it make you feel better to think that someone might actually like you for a change?"

Remus looked at his feet, as if ashamed. "You're misunderstanding me," he muttered.

"No, I understand you perfectly," Tonks hissed. "I'm the one being misunderstood here." She ran a hand through her hair again and turned around. "How could I have been so stupid? Molly was right."

Remus looked up quickly. "What are you-?"

"I care about you, isn't that enough?" Tonks snapped, turning around to face him again. "I don't care about what you're talking about! I - I love you for who you are and I don't give a care that you're a werewolf; you're 'poor'; or older than me! You're not by much!"

Remus looked aghast; he'd turned from red to almost white. "Tonks, I'm sorry... It's just..."

"I deserve better, yeah, I know," Tonks said irritably. "Did you ever stop and think that I believe you are better? A whole year I've known you, all the times I couldn't understand how happy you made me, and now, well, you just throw it away under some stupid idea that you're not good enough- Bloody hell, this is becoming so sappy..."

"Tonks, I'm not saying that I don't like you," Remus muttered, "because, if you want to know, honestly, yeah, I do - a lot. But..."

"It's fine, honestly, I don't care," Tonks said softly, looking away. She took a deep breath and looked up at him. "I understand. Maybe I do deserve better." She felt like she was on the verge of breaking down. Why couldn't he just accept her feelings? Why did he have to be so maddeningly stubborn and stupid? "I've got to see Dumbledore now. Goodbye."

"I hope...to see you soon," Remus sighed. "I'm not sure when I'll be back up."

Tonks bit her lip. "Be safe," she muttered. "Be careful."

"You, too." He looked her in the eyes, probably seeing every tear that fought its way to the surface.

"I will," Tonks said. She turned around and Apparated to the front gates of Hogwarts to meet Dumbledore, wishing that she'd never said anything and had taken that Cheering Potion of Molly's. For all she knew, she didn't know if she'd be cheerful again.

But, as always, in time, things would somehow get better, even if they had to get worse first.

Finis