Twenty Four Hours Ago

Twenty-Four Hours Ago

Written By Lanni Weasley

Luna Lovegood. The name was frightening and startling all the same. I'd heard of her from the tidbits I'd gathered over the years from other students' conversations. "Loony Lovegood" was what they'd called her. I'd heard that so many times before I found out her real name from Ginny that I thought it was her real name. I hadn't felt any guilt when I called her that behind her back at first. But everything was soon to change.

After our Fifth Year and after the mayhem in the Ministry, Luna began to hang out with our close knit group. It was no longer Harry, Hermione, and me; the Golden Trio grew. We didn't really have a name; we were just six friends, Harry, Hermione, Neville, Ginny, Luna, and me. I could tell that Luna was nervous to be friends with us at first. After all, she was the only one that wasn't from Gryffindor, but we accepted her quickly.

When I say we, I say everybody else. I admit that I was a little leery about her. Everyone might make fun of us if we associated with Luna; they might think we're...weird. I'd only experienced her oddness a few times, but those were enough. However, my caution soon evaporated when I came to know her as a very smart, albeit odd, girl. Hermione, still, was the smartest witch, but Luna had a strange brilliance about her that I couldn't place. It intrigued me, to say the least.

Our Sixth Year trudged on in murky waters. Harry was off grieving Sirius's death and Hermione was in schoolwork up to her eyeballs, not talking to me much (she was still shaken about almost being killed by Dolohov). Ginny was Ginny, going off with different boyfriends every three months or so, and Neville was slowly growing stronger in his magical abilities (he was preparing himself for the next time he met up with Bellatrix Lestrange, I'm sure of it).

It had appeared to me that everyone around me was changing, but me. This revelation had made me feel uneasy. I could see the change in everyone. While Harry was moping, I could tell that he was growing stronger--very much so--and getting angrier. Hermione couldn't seem to get a score under an O+ and she'd been going back to her studies with a vengeance. Ginny was gaining power in the social status of Hogwarts, but she was also getting more confident. What Tom Riddle/Voldemort had done to her was not weakening her much anymore; it was helping to build the fire. Neville was about ready to surpass me in my studies that I panicked and started to study more.

Luna, however, didn't change in her demeanor. She was calm, odd, and brilliant. I don't know how she could be calm. All of Hogwarts had been in a ruckus with the fretting of the Second War coming upon us. And since she hadn't changed, I thought that I could trust her with my troubled mind. She had assured me that there was nothing wrong with me and that one day, I would find myself and my power.

I believed her then and I still believe her now, even though I am still waiting for that day to come to me. She was truthful. I think that was day that the world flipped upside down and everything was no less than chaos. Voldemort had struck Muggle London and the Second War had started full throttle. Harry had stopped grieving and had turned into a young man that day. He was set on avenging Sirius's, his parents, and everyone else's death. I could see murder in his eyes at times, and that scared me.

But, not only had the War begun; something inside me had begun. There was a secret battle going on in my mind. I didn't want this, but I had this. I was starting to fall for Luna Lovegood, the one girl I told myself that I'd never like. It was insane. I thought I was going barking mad, but I couldn't tell this to her. I'd have to settle this on my own behalf.

I remember one day after that. I was outside, alone, and she had come walking up behind me. I had been trying to think. We had a Quidditch game the next day. She had startled me, but she just smiled at me dreamily. I almost complied with my own dreamy grin--almost. I had looked away from her and gave the blue sky my attention once again.

"Do you know how many skies there are?" she had said. I had looked at her oddly.

"Isn't there only one sky? It'd be kind of hard to have more, wouldn't it?" I had replied, confused. I hadn't known what she meant. I'm not sure that I know now.

"No, there are twenty-four skies," Luna had told me, giving me a serene look, "to match the twenty-four oceans."

"I thought there were only four oceans," I had said quickly. I had thought about the oceans: Atlantic, Pacific, Artic, and Indian. I hadn't known what she had been talking about. "I'm pretty sure that there are only four oceans, Luna. Hermione told me--"

"Do you believe everything Hermione tells you, Ronald?" Luna had asked, interrupting me. If I can remember correctly, I just gaped at her. Of course I had believed everything Hermione told me; she was a genius, after all. But as Luna's wide, blue eyes glazed over me, I could not find my own voice. It was lost to me. It had felt as if Luna was looking right through me and into my soul.

Love is a fickle thing. I was caught between Love and Like, I think, when it came to Luna. I can't remember a day I have felt like that before. There were many times when I thought about telling her how I truly felt. I wanted to desperately because it was clawing at me to fight its way out of my mouth. It hurt to still see people tease her. I'd stand up for her, but I always wanted to do more. I wanted to hug her. I wanted to hold her. But I had always stood stock still.

I tried a few times--probably more than a few; more like twenty or thirty times--telling her and all about how I felt about her--about how she made me feel. I failed each and every time with flying colors. When it comes to girls, I'm absolutely hopeless. I had figured that it would easier to tell a girl like Luna about my feelings, but I think it made it harder because she could take a peek at my soul everyday.

It had been three days after Harry had defeated Voldemort, and the entire world was celebrating and grieving at the same time. After facing too many Death Eaters to count and almost losing my life twenty-four times (I counted each time, trust me), I had mustered all of the courage in me to tell Luna of how I felt about her. I was sure that it was more than "Like". I was sure that I was now in "Love" with her. I was so sure about everything.

I raced across the city where she lived in. I raced to her house. And when I got there, I felt as if my heart was about to burst with excitement and anticipation. I had knocked on her door and had called out her name, but no one answered and the door opened. At first, I was alarmed so I brought out my wand and crept through the house. That's when I saw it.

I saw Luna, standing outside, and looking beautiful as the wind blew through her blond hair. She was smiling and so were her blue eyes. I grinned in spite of myself. I couldn't wait to confess my feelings for her. I put my wand away. But as I got closer to her, I realized that she was not alone outside. Harry was standing beside her.

Maybe Harry's brought over an early birthday present, I remember thinking. It had been, after all, Luna's birthday that day. That's when I wanted to surprise her. I was so sure that she felt the same way about me. But the next thing I saw stopped me dead in my tracks.

Harry bent down on one knee and said something to her. He had grabbed her hand gently and pulled out a black, velvet box. She gave him one of her beautiful dreamy smiles and said something back to him. He slid a ring on her finger and stood up. Harry had kissed Luna and suddenly, everything became clear to me. As their life began together, my life alone shattered into a thousand pieces.

I had just witnessed Harry proposing to Luna, and she had accepted it.

The next day, when Harry and Luna announced their engagement to each other, I contemplated who I was. While Hermione had crushed Harry in a hug and squealed with delight--whereas Ginny shrieked with delight and hugged Luna tightly--whilst Neville merely shook Harry's hand and congratulated them both--I acted like I hadn't seen it happen. I gave Harry a quick hug and shot Luna a furtive glance, but I couldn't bring myself to look at her.

I still loved Luna, and it pained me to see her with Harry, but she was happy with Harry and I wasn't about to ruin that. Harry, he, deserved her love and soothing voice more than anybody else in this world. He needed someone like Luna--more than me. I'm happy for them--for Harry and Luna--honestly. Sure, life has changed into something I didn't really want. I wanted Luna to love me and for her to be with me.

But she wasn't, and I had to accept that. Luna had chosen Harry over me and I had to accept that. I was, once again, second best to Harry. In just twenty-four hours, I had forgotten who I was and what life was. I needed to rebuild all over again. The pain was unbelievable.

Hermione had nearly pounced on me to sing a song for "the lucky couple". Ginny had been giggling far too much for my taste. Neville had given me an encouraging smile. Harry had roared with laughter and Luna smiled at me dreamily, I think--I still wasn't looking at her. I hate singing, really, but Hermione keeps telling me that I have a "magnificent voice". I don't get it, but just for her and "the lucky couple", I sang some song that I can't even remember. I think I felt a little better afterwards, but I can't be too sure because it had disappeared quickly.

Since the days after I saw that sight, I had wondered what was worse: Seeing Harry proposing to Luna and her accepting or me professing my undying love to her (blah, blah, blah) and her telling me that she was "in love with Harry". I still don't know to this very day, and I have no one to talk to about it. I'm alone on this, once again. Will it take me another two years to come to the conclusion that both suck?

Today is Luna and Harry's wedding day. It's going to be the wedding of the century, everyone says. I hear it everywhere I go. I can't escape it. It's almost been the most anticipated wedding of the century. The Boy Who Lived--the Boy Who Defeated Voldemort--was a grown man and was getting married to the love of his life, Miss Luna Lovegood, soon to be Mrs. Luna Potter.

I admit that I feel jealous, but I know that I shouldn't. It's wrong. I'm feeling bitterness towards Harry because he gets a lot--a lot more than I do sometimes. I shouldn't feel this way, I tell myself over and over again, as I walk down the streets of London by myself. After all Harry went through, he deserves someone like Luna, I remind myself.

Still, I don't want to go to the wedding. I want to back out. Maybe I can tell them that I'm sick and I can't come--because I don't want to get the groom or bride sick. But Harry's my best mate and whether I want to or not, I have to go to that wedding--that bloody wedding. In my mind, I can come up with plenty excuses, and I already have and they're strong--solid--but I don't have the guts to shirk my duties as Harry's best mate. I can't skip this wedding, no matter how much I want to.

I hate guilt. I even hate love sometimes. Why does something so wonderful cause so much pain? I never could understand love to the fullest. Mum always told me that one day, I would fall in love with a beautiful and smart girl and I would be very happy. Well, I fell in love with that beautiful and smart girl, but I'm miserable, not happy.

Skip the wedding, skip the wedding, a voice in my mind pleads. They won't miss you. They'll be too immersed in their bliss to notice you're absence.

"Can't skip it," I mutter to myself. "It's Harry. He needs me."

And so does Luna. But I keep that to myself. No one else needs to know that.

You see, Luna's father was killed by Death Eaters during the Second War. It wrenched my heart in and out since I saw him die. I had gone to his house to save him, along with a few Aurors, but we had been very much outnumbered. They had lined us up one by one to kill us. I had been last in line. I remember looking down at him because he was the first in line. I was horrified, scared, livid, and sad at the same time. He looked down at me and we connected eyes. I saw something in them that I saw in Harry's eyes in our Sixth Year when we faced Voldemort together.

"Let the boy go; he's no harm to you," Leonard Lovegood had said, his voice strong, but shaky. It wasn't like Luna's calm voice; she had inherited it from her deceased mother. He had looked back to the Death Eaters that stood in front of us. "You can do whatever you like with me, but don't harm the boy. He can't do anything to hurt you. He's just a boy. He can't hurt you."

"He obviously can since he killed one of us," Bellatrix Lestrange had replied with a twisted smile. She was there and I wanted to kill her, too, but after killing Dolohov, I wanted no more to do with death and Voldemort. He had almost killed Hermione in our Fifth and our Sixth Year, and I had just snapped; I had killed Dolohov with a fury raging inside of me like no other. I was horrified with all of the blood on my hands--literally and mentally.

"You came here to murder me, not the boy," Leonard had pointed out. I was shaking my head, telling him to stop this, but he wouldn't stop. Why did everyone I knew insist on sacrificing themselves so that I would live? Harry had done it; Hermione had done it; my oldest brother, Bill, had done it; and so had my other older brother, Charlie. Was I that important? Now, Leonard Lovegood, Luna's father, was doing it. Why?

"We shall kill you all," another Death Eater said gruffly, "but let's kill the boy first since you're so eager on him living--"

"No!" Leonard had shouted it as they pulled me up to my feet harshly. I couldn't feel my legs because I'd been sitting on them for quite some time. Bellatrix stood in front of me.

"Oh, Ronnie, you've grown so tall!" she had taunted in a childish voice, giving me a twisted smile that has come to haunt me. She put a finger on my chin and slid it across my jaw. I remember her finger was as cold as ice. "And you've become such a strong dueler, you have. I think I can even consider you a handsome young man, even for a Weasley."

"Bite me," I had spat. She frowned at me as she wiped off her face.

"Such horrible manners, Ron," Bellatrix had sighed. "What would your mother say if she heard you speaking to me like this?"

"'Good job' fits the bill," I had growled. The Auror at my right side was moving; I could see him in the corner of my eyes. I had looked down into Bellatrix's face defiantly; I was pleased to see that I was taller than her (but not as absurdly pleased as I had been when I found that I was also taller than Voldemort). They had chosen not to kill me first for some reason that I can't remember and they threw me back to my knees. Bellatrix had stomped over to Leonard, threw her wand at him, and cast the Killing Curse. And it was my fault because I had angered her.

"NO!" To this day, I still don't know who shouted that. It might've come from me, but I don't remember even opening my mouth.

When Leonard slumped over, dead, my blood boiled. I don't know how I did it, but I had pulled away from my restrainers and tackled Bellatrix full force. Havoc describes the rest of the situation and I turned out to be the only one coming out alive besides a young Auror, who just woke up out of a coma actually. I still feel guilty to this very day. I could never repay Luna for the grief I must have caused her.

So, without a father to walk her down the aisle during her wedding, Luna asked me if I would do it in his place. I remember feeling my throat constrict and I could barely breathe, much less come up with a reply. I think I nodded my head and that's how I've gotten myself in this mess. That was the only way I could repay Luna, and it's killing me piece by piece. I can't skip out on this wedding for the world.

I'm wearing my suit already, actually; I must be looking strange to all of these Muggles. Some of them are actually Wizards and Witches, who are attending the wedding, and Aurors disguised as Muggles, the security of the wedding. I walk to the place where the wedding is being held and I am greeted by two Aurors disguised as Muggles.
"What's your name?" one of them asks me in a low voice. He holds me back. I open my mouth to answer, but before I can say anything, I'm taken over by a bunch of bushy brown hair.

"Ron, you finally came!" It's Hermione. She's squeezing me so tightly around my neck that I can barely breathe. That seems to happen to me a lot. She pulls away and looks me in the eyes. "We thought that you were going to skip!"

I laugh nervously. I'm not going to tell her that I almost did. "Me, miss Harry's big day?" I try to laugh it off. She nods to the two Aurors and we walk inside together. "C'mon, Hermione, why would I do that?"

"I don't know," she replies, looking at me with a small smile playing at her lips. I give her a grin and her smile broadens. I'm an accomplished liar now; I can even fake out Hermione, which used to be near impossible to do. Harry can't even do that, but then again, Harry wasn't much of a liar anyways.

"Ron!" It's Harry and he looks very nervous. He's sweating. I shake his hand. "Where've you been, mate? We were wondering if you got lost or something."

"No, but I lost one of my shoes," I tell him smoothly. "I can't walk your fiancé down the aisle with just one shoe, can I?"

"Better a one shoe Ron than no Ron at all, right?" Harry chuckles. I grin at him, but even as I do, I can feel its dishonesty burn in my heart. I shouldn't lie to Harry; I don't know why, but I always feel guilty when lying to Harry--and Luna. They are two of a kind.

"Listen, Ron; we've got like twenty minutes until the wedding starts so you have to find Luna, okay?" Hermione says to me, interrupting us boys. I look over--and down--at her quickly. I nod my head and walk away. When I find Luna, she is watching people sit down and waiting for the start of the wedding.

"Luna," I hear myself say quietly. Luna turns around to face me with wide blue eyes and a vague smile on her face. I try to grin at her.

"Ronald, you came," Luna replies breathlessly. I nod my head and turn away from her. I can't stand looking at her. She just stares at me and I start to feel uneasy. I think she's looking at my soul once again.

"Er...do you know where the restroom is?" I ask.

"Of course," she says, "it's down the hall. You have enough time to go."

I nod my head in a jerk. "Thanks," I mutter gruffly. I turn around and walk out of the room and away from her. I don't know if I can do this, walk her down the aisle. I can't do this. There's no way that I'm going to be able to gather myself in just twenty bloody minutes and walk her down that bloody aisle to marry Harry. I'm a failure. Better yet, I'm a jerk.

"Ron, are you okay?" someone asks me tentatively. I stop in my tracks and spin around to see Hermione standing in front of me. As I stare at her, I begin to see that she looks a little troubled herself. I wonder what's wrong.

"Yeah, yeah, I'm..." I trail off. I can't do this. I can't do this. I have to tell someone before I explode with this secret. "Hermione, can I tell you something?" She nods her head after she hesitates. "You can't tell anyone, hear me?" Again she nods her head slowly. I look around for a place that I can tell her in secret. I find another room. "Let's go in here, shall we?"

"But, Ron, that's a"--I ignore her and drag her into the room that turns out not to be a room after all--"closet." Okay, so this is not what I had planned, but that's okay. It's a large closet so we're not bunched together.

"Bugger that," I mumble.

"Language, Ron," Hermione warns me immediately. I give her a sheepish grin. "Now, what were you going to tell me?"

"Right," I grumble. I look down at my hands--my bloodied hands. Good grief, when did I become such a wimp? I look back at Hermione. Her face is soft. "You know when Harry told us that he and Luna got engaged?"

"Yes, I remember," Hermione sighs slowly.

"Well, I walked in on him proposing to her the day before," I tell her and she raises her eyebrows in surprise. I take a deep breath. "I went over to her house to tell her that I...I liked her more than a friend. I never got the chance."

"Oh, Ron, I'm so sorry!" Hermione exclaims. She stands on her tiptoes and pulls me into a kind of awkward but nice and comforting hug. I hear her sniff and know something's wrong. "Ron, it is ironic that you say this because I have to tell you something." I pull away and give her one of my trademark confused looks. "The day Harry told us of his engagement to Luna, I had planned on confessing to him that I, too, liked him more than a friend, maybe even loved him."

"What? Really?" I gasp. I had not expected to hear this. "I'm sorry."

"We really do have bad timing, don't we, Ron?" Hermione laughs bitterly and I grin at her very sadly. She sighs and sets her head on my chest, which startles me. It also startles her because she pulls back very quickly. "W-we better get going now. We can't hind in this closet forever, you know."

Hermione opens the closet door and walks away. I wait until she disappears and then I walk out of the closet. I don't want any rumor to pop up about us because I don't think of Hermione...that way, you know.

"So, Weasley, you've finally decided to come out of the closet, eh?"

"Piss off, Malfoy!" I shout at him. The blonde git laughs and shakes his head as he walks away. I don't know why Harry invited him to his wedding; probably because Malfoy helped us win the Second War. Still...

"Ronald, are you coming?" I hear Luna's voice just as the music begins to play. I have to walk her down the aisle any second. I am the Best Man, after all. I walk back into the room where she stands, radiant and beautiful as ever. Harry's a lucky man, if I say so myself.

"I'm here," I say as I shut the door. She turns around to face me. I look away as I add, "Long wait in the bathroom." Yes, a very long wait, indeed. I link my arm in hers and I begin to burn. I hear the cue and we begin to walk down the aisle.

God, help me. All eyes are on us. I gulp and try not to sweat out of nervousness. I want to take off and run far, far away and never return. I want to leave right now. But I can't. Instead, I walk her down the aisle and ignore the whispers from the people that have gathered here today. Great, now I'm beginning to sound like a priest.

"Ronald, are you alright?" Luna hisses at me curiously. I look down at her, but don't move my head. It'll be way too conspicuous for my taste.

"I'm a tad bit under the weather," I mutter out of the corner of my mouth.

"It's the palpiets, isn't it?" Luna sighs, looking ahead again. I shoot her a bemused look. "Palpiets gather around in churches like this. They invest themselves in a person that is feeling guilt and make them feel even worse and feel sick." Funny, I thought it was just the guilt. She looks back up at him with wide blue eyes. "Don't feel guilty, Ronald; it wasn't your fault. But thank you for being here for Harry and me."

"Don't mention it," I mumble. Please, don't. The voice that usually soothes me and makes me feel better makes me feel worse. Maybe it really is those--what was it?--palpiets. She smiles at me and looks back at Harry with the dreamiest of smiles I have ever seen.

I feel something--sorrow, I think--but then I see something. I see Hermione watching me. And it is as if I'm not walking Luna down the aisle to marry Harry. I forget about that and everyone around me that's watching us. All I can see is Hermione. She's looking...What? I can't even describe how she looks like now. Beautiful? No, that's too common. Amazing? No way. She looks like...everything that's good. She has an indescribable beauty and radiance. It's strange because I just saw her minutes ago. What's so different with her now?

As Luna and I near the front, I can see that Hermione has tears in her chocolate brown eyes. She gives me a watery smile and I grin back at her. My stomach does an impeccable back flip. Hoorah for my stomach, but it's making me feel nauseous. I wish it would stop. Maybe if I take my eyes off of Hermione, it would stop, but I can't seem to do that right now. I stop when we're up front.

The priest says his stuff and I hear myself say something back. I can barely think; I wonder how I'm even talking. I pull my arm out of Luna's and take a stand next to Harry. He shoots me a very anxious look and then looks at Luna with adoration shining in his green eyes. He loves her very much, I can tell, and she loves him back.

I turn my attention away from Harry and Luna and I see that Hermione has done the same. We connect eyes and she smiles once again. I give her a feeble grin. Throughout the entire wedding, I can barely hear anything while Hermione and I stare at each other. When I see Harry kiss Luna, I see that Hermione has tears in her eyes. She makes to wipe them away quickly. Everyone in the chapel is cheering loudly.

Everyone starts moving again and I remember my place. I walk forward and link arms with Hermione. As we walk up the aisle and away, she leans her head on my arm and I don't do anything about it. It's fine. It's comforting. And maybe it's even right.

~*~

It's now the reception and it's quite lively. Hermione and Ginny helped Luna and Harry come up with it all and Hermione, as one wedding gift, had organized the entire thing for them. It's very good. After accidentally catching something that made me blush from head-to-toe (and that I'd really not like to discuss), a slow song finally comes out. Plenty of couples are dancing. I think I even see Remus Lupin and Tonks dancing. Lucky git.

I feel a soft tap on my shoulder and I turn around. Again, I see Hermione standing in front of me and she still looks...Should I even try to explain it when I know it's useless? I need to study a dictionary after this. She gives me a shy smile.

"Um...do you want to dance?" Hermione asks me coyly. I raise an eyebrow. I'll tell you; I am very surprised at this. I grin at her and take her hand.

"Of course, 'Mione," I tell her smoothly, already leading her out onto the dance floor. Under most circumstances, I'd turn red or begin to stammer, but as it is dark and no one will be able to see me, I accept...rather eagerly. We get into dance stances and it's only when I put my hands on her hips that I turn red. Bad mistake? We begin to dance slowly and peacefully. I kind of like it.

I'm going mad, that's for sure. But, if I'm to go mad, I will go mad being happy. Cheers to insanity, eh? Hermione blushes, too, but I think she's having a good time dancing with me. And you know what; I'm having a bloody good time dancing with her. I seriously need to lay off of the champaign come next wedding (maybe Remus's and Tonks's, hehe). Hermione flashes me another one of her coy smiles and I'm hooked. What is it with me and girls lately?

"Hermione," I say and I find out that my throat is scratchy. Champaign, I need lots and lots of champaign right now. She puts a finger to my lips and hushes me almost immediately.

"I know, I know," Hermione whispers softly, "me, too."

Why is it that all the girls I fall in love with tend to be geniuses and more than beautiful than beauty itself? Well, Hermione's that way anyways. I grin at her and she smiles brightly. Yeah, I'm way hooked. I lean down slowly and press my lips against hers. A million fireworks explode in my mind and my head is spinning. She even tastes like...mm...chocolate.

I was second best to Luna; Harry was always first, now we see. I am the second man to kiss Miss Hermione Granger; gimpy Viktor Krum was the first, of course. But for some odd reason, being second doesn't matter to me anymore. As I kiss Hermione for the first time, I feel more like I am in first place. And she gives me something that I thought I lost: Life and Love.

Finis