Lift Yourself Up

Chapter Two: Behind the Joy There is Fear

"C'mon, daddy won't let you fall. C'mon, you can do it. You can do it real easily."

It had been months since Lily Jane Weasley had been born. Now, she was nine months old and Ron was already attempting to get her to walk. It was so important to him. He knew. He just knew that she had so much potential in her already. Why, with Hermione's brains and his skills, Lily would be the genius of the century, he decided.

Ron lay on the carpet of his and Hermione's brand new house. They had moved out of their flat only just one month ago so that they would have more room. Lily was sitting down a few feet away from her father, giggling madly at him as he made funny faces and tried to coax her into walking. This was more difficult than he had expected.

"C'mon, Lily, you know I won't let you fall down. I'll catch you," Ron told his daughter, giving her another goofy grin that she laughed at. He stretched out his hands for her on the carpet and she slapped her hands against the ground, looking like it was an attempt to grab his. "You can walk; I know you can. I know you can move if you just give it a try. I know you can move."

I dare you to move. I dare you to move.

I dare you to lift yourself up off the floor

Hermione came along and watched her husband try to get their nine month-old daughter to walk. She smiled at him and decided to give him a little help. She walked behind her daughter and carefully lifted her to her feet. She looked down at her husband.

"Well, she can't obviously get up on her own just yet," Hermione explained evenly. Ron grinned at her and immediately sat up, holding his hands out to her. "Go on, Lil, you can make it over to daddy."

He gave her another funny face that she laughed at and she took a step towards him. He waved his fingers at her, his face all alight. Hermione's was glowing with joy. Lily took another step, her hands still in her mother's, and another and another. Ron was ecstatic.

Lily took more steps and Hermione slowly let go of her hands. Soon, Lily was walking by herself and Hermione squealed with excitement. Ron looked as though he might faint. Lily was going faster and didn't stop until she came crashing into Ron, her mouth landing right on his nose. He caught her before she feel and rubbed his nose.
Hermione was jumping up and down, gasping, "She walked! She walked! She actually already walked at the age of just nine months! Ron, she walked! Oh my goodness, she walked!" Ron stood up, still holding his daughter triumphantly when Hermione pulled him into a huge kiss on the lips. She then proceeded to dance away, raving about how Lily walked...

............

Hermione Granger-Weasley had tears slipping out of her eyes as she watched the home video again for what was the hundredth time. She and Ron had gotten a Muggle camcorder and a TV, as Ron was purely fascinated with it.

Hermione couldn't help watching the video of Lily's first steps. She loved it. It made her so happy. And after what had happened today, she needed to be happy. She wiped her eyes again and watched as the Ron on the screen pulled her into a joyous hug and they danced around the room blissfully, laughing.

The room was dark. The only light came from the TV, which was spilling over Hermione, who was sitting on the couch in her pajamas, and the living room. Still, it was quite dark and she was rather fearful. But with the video still running, she didn't care. She was happy.

Suddenly, Ron Weasley sat down next to her on the couch, still in his jeans and button up shirt. She didn't look over at him, but laid her head on his shoulder and closed her eyes. He put a comforting arm around her shoulders and laid his head against hers.

"Why, Ron? Why did it have to happen?" Hermione whispered quietly, holding back the sobs.

"Just forget about it, Hermione," Ron murmured in her ear soothingly. "Everything's alright. Ginny is just fine, okay? No one's left us."

"But they could have! Someone could've--could've died because of me!" Hermione cried out, falling over his lap and burying her face into his leg. He rubbed her back comfortingly and she continued to cry. "Had I not been so stupid, none of this would have happened at all!"

"'Mione, no one's dead and that's all that matters right now," Ron told her firmly. She continued to cry and keep lay over his leg. Right now, she didn't care if she looked a mess. "You're not stupid. You're very far from being stupid. You're brilliant. It wasn't your fault that this happened."

"It is too my fault, Ron! It's my entire fault that this even happened today!" Hermione sobbed hysterically, her chest shaking with each violent sob. He pulled her up off of his legs and into a strong hug. She laid her head on his shoulder and continued to cry. "I wasn't paying good enough attention to my surroundings. The signs were all there; noises were heard everywhere. They were sloppy and still managed to do damage!"

"Hermione, it wasn't your fault and I'm not going to let you live with thinking that it was," Ron declared very forcefully, looking her directly in the eyes, fire in them. She just gaped at him, her cries dead. There was nothing, but silence.

"Now, Lily and Ryder are in bed and asleep," Ron said quietly. "Let's not wake them up with such trivial things, love. They deserve all the rest they can get after today."

"Yes, you're right; I'm sorry," Hermione muttered guiltily, looking down, ashamed of herself for getting so worked up about the day's events. However, Ron picked her chin up so their eyes connected again. "Thank you, Ron."

She kissed him and sat next to him, he holding her tightly still to give her a sense of security. Together, they watched the rest of the home video. Their children, Lily, who was now five, and Ryder, who would be a mischievous three year-old in two days, had just been put to bed by Ron.

Today had been a horrible day for Hermione after three in the afternoon. With the Second War in the heat of the near ending, Hermione had been watching after Ginny, who was now the Secret Keeper for Neville Longbottom, to make sure she was safe.

It was a normal sunny day and they had to act like it was any other day so Hermione had brought Lily and Ryder along to play with Ginny's two twins, Sirius and James. They had been talking in the kitchen when Death Eaters had attacked. It was so terrible.

Her heart had been pounding. She had almost lost her two children and her best friend. Ginny had been injured in the fight, but no one had been killed thankfully. Still, Hermione believed that if she had looked at all of the signs, they could've escaped before the attack and Ginny would never have been hurt. She believed it to be her fault.

Ron kissed her on the head again and murmured, "Come to bed; it's getting late. Just forget about what happened today and sleep. Dream sweet dreams like today never happened." She closed her eyes and turned off the television. She let Ron guide her to bed.

I dare you to move. I dare you to move.

Like today never happened. Today never happened before

//

"Ron, I don't want to send my Lily off to Hogwarts now," Hermione whimpered as they lay in bed one morning. The sun hadn't even risen, but both of them were awake. "I don't want to see her leave home if the battle's still going."

"I don't either, but let's not think about that right now," Ron replied tiredly, looking over next to her in their bed from the ceiling. "It's a long ways from now. We should get some sleep. Remember, we're taking Lily, Ryder, and Luke to the park in the morning for a picnic."

Lily was neither eleven nor ten yet, but as Hermione was, she was already thinking about the future. She didn't know if she could handle seeing her first and only daughter--as of now--go off to Hogwarts while knowing that she would have to do this more and over and over again., especially with the Second War still in full swing.

In fact, Lily was only seven, Ryder had just turned five days ago, and Luke was one years old. It would be a while before Lily would go to Hogwarts, but Hermione was afraid that the Second War would still be going on by then at the rate it was going now.

"Will the War ever stop, Ron?" Hermione whispered suddenly in the silence, her eyes closed. "I feel like we've been sitting her, waiting for the tension to be broken and everything to just fall together in one huge fight."

Ron opened his blue eyes and blinked, staring at the ceiling with his hands behind his head. He wondered if it might ever end--if Harry might ever get his peace--and he sighed.

"Dunno, honestly, 'Mione," Ron answered truthfully. She didn't open her eyes or move. "I certainly hope it ends soon and Harry will win. He's been training really hard. Remus says it'll only be months--or even sooner--before the Final Battle. They say Voldemort's on the move finally."

There was silence, and then, "Ron?"

"Yes?" Ron replied, fighting back a yawn. He was tired, but he couldn't seem to fall asleep. Hermione only opened her eyes just then and rolled on her side to look at him. He rolled on his side to face her and they locked eyes.

"Are we going to win?" Hermione asked quietly.

"If we weren't going to win, we wouldn't be resisting giving up, now would we?" Ron answered in a way that said sensible, even though what he had just said was anything but sensible. He gave her a wan smile and she returned one. He moved to kiss her on the head and lay back down.

Welcome to the fallout. Welcome to resistance.

The tension is here. The tension is here.

Hermione lay on her back again and closed her eyes, looking as though she was trying to fall asleep, but she was too uncomfortable. In light of recent events, she hadn't been able to sleep well, lest there was a Death Eater attack and she would lose all that she worked for. Ron could sense the tension and fear over her and he sighed deeply. He continued to stare at the ceiling.

"Hermione, you always believe that in the end it will be your mishap that causes damage, but you don't get it at all," Ron exclaimed softly in the silence. She kept her eyes closed, but listened keenly. "You're more brilliant than anyone in the world and whether you realize it or not, you make a great impact on everyone you meet and even everyone you don't meet. You're a very important factor to the Light's survival.

"You could be Minister of Magic. You could be anything you like for that matter. You could've married Victor Krum for Heaven's sake! Yet, you didn't. You didn't become Minister of Magic; you became a proud and gifted Healer at St. Mungo's. And you didn't marry Victor Krum, a very rich and famous Bulgarian seeker; you married one Ron Weasley, clueless prat and--at the time--trainee Auror."

Ron sighed and shook his head.

"Why?" he asked her quietly.

"It's simple," Hermione answered coolly, rolling on her side and looking over at him again. "I loved you and I loved helping people get better. Sure, I could be anything I like maybe, but right now, I satisfied with being a Healer and being married to you, Ron, and having three wonderful children. Right now, that's the life I love and know. I wouldn't want it any different."

Ron grinned at her and Hermione smiled. And then, suddenly, she frowned. He frowned too. "But there are other things that shouldn't be that are in this world," she told him darkly. "This War, I don't believe, should be going on and no one should be living in the fear that we are. It shouldn't be like that. We should all be joyous and be able to walk outside without being afraid that we might not ever walk back inside. It honestly shouldn't be like that."

"You're right; it shouldn't, but it is," Ron sighed gravely, "and we have to accept that. But, as of right now, I can say that I'm happy to forget that life can sometimes be a living hell when fighting fate and say that I have a beautiful wife, three wonderful kids, and great friends. As I lay in my bed next to you right now, that is all I know. You're all my life and that's great. And that, 'Mione, is how it should be all of the time."

He smiled at her and she gave him a feeble smile, too. He kissed her one last time on the lips softly and they closed their eyes, finally falling asleep into what could be called their first peaceful sleep in a long while.

Between who you are and who you could be

Between how it is and how it should be