Least Likely Of All

Chapter Five: Parts 21 - 25

Chapter Five, Part One: "I'm Marrying Remus."

Lily and James were sitting on one of the many couches in the Gryffindor common room watching the fire magically change colors, from orange to blue to green to purple and back again.

"Lily, what are you planning on doing after Hogwarts?" James asked, wrapping his arm around her shoulder.

"I'm planning on going to work for Papa... Then maybe, after the Voldemort situation's over, having a baby." Lily answered, withholding the fact the baby would be with Severus, not him.

"A baby Lil? Wow... Who's gonna be the lucky guy?" James knew the answer; he just wanted to hear it from her to make sure she was over Snape. He had noticed lately she had been speaking to him in Transfiguration class and he knew the look she had given him. She still felt something for him, he was sure of it.

"You, of course. Who else is there?" Lily forced herself to smile. Having a baby with James was the last thing she wanted to do.

"Me? Does that mean you plan on marrying me too?" James asked slyly.

Lily shrugged, "Eventually. You know I love you... It's just a matter of when we'll get married, not if."

James nodded, "I love you too Lily... How many babies are you planning on having?"

"As many as possible."

"Are you sure? We really should stop once we have a boy. The Potter name needs an heir, and then all will be taken care of."

Lily raised her eyebrow, "And what if the boy dies? Are we going to keep on trying until I have another son?"

"Potter boys don't die." James said firmly.

"Ahh, yes, but this boy will also be an Evans." Lily smiled, "Evans do die, even though Papa's sure proving that theory wrong."

James smiled, "Ok, ok... You win. You can have as many kids as you can handle."

"What about you? You're gonna help me, right?"

"Of course, but I can only handle so many... You get the rest. I'll switch on alternating days."

"I'll take Monday through Thursday, you take Friday through Saturday?"

"Sure."

The two sat in silence for a few minutes, then James scooped Lily up and placed her in his lap, while stretching out his legs over the couch.

"What if I told you I wanted to marry you?" James asked.

"I wouldn't be the least bit surprised." Lily answered, still gazing into the fire.

James took in a deep breath, "What if I said I wanted to marry you as soon as possible?"

"I'd say Papa wouldn't marry us as long as we're still students."

"Dumbledore can marry people?"

"Apparently."

"How'd you find that out?" James asked, curious.

"I wanted him to do my wedding." Lily answered truthfully. Luckily, James didn't catch on.

"Really? That'd be nice." He smiled, "And I didn't mean right now. I meant after we've graduated."

Lily nodded, "I'd accept."

James smiled, then took a gold band studded with diamonds out of his pocket.

"Lily, will you marry me?"

She smiled and took the ring, placing it on her finger. "You know the answer."

"I just want to hear you say it."

"Yes James Potter, I'll marry you."

She sat on her bed until she heard the sound of her door opening, revealing Severus. She turned towards him with a desperate look on her face.

"Severus, he asked me to marry him."

Severus nodded, as he was expecting this. "Did you say yes?"

Lily nodded miserably, scooting over so he could sit down. "I didn't want to though. All I could think about was how you were going to be so mad..."

Severus shook his head and hugged her, "I could never be mad at you, remember? Besides, it's for the best... I understand that."

Lily nodded, resting her head on his shoulder. "Are you going to come to the wedding? I don't think I could make it through without you there."

Severus smirked, "You want me, your husband, to come to your other wedding?" He laughed, "That sounds a bit strange, but of course I'll come. Any excuse to see you."

Lily smiled, "You don't have to... I know it'd make you uncomfortable."

"Tell me Lily, do you love him?"

"Not at all. I thought I did, but that was before I knew you."

He nodded, "As long as you love me, I'll be happy for you."

"I think you'll have to, because I know I'm going to be miserable."

Severus shook his head, "No... You go on and marry that creep. Try to be happy... If you can't, just remember, Lord Voldemort's going to be gone soon and then we'll be able to be with each other. Don't worry about anything else. You're strong, Lil. I know you can do it."

"God, I wish there was another way." Lily sighed, laying back down and pulling Severus with her.

"We both do... The moment He's defeated, I'll go to you, sweep you off your feet, and take you away with me... The moment he's gone."

"What about James? He wants an heir."

Severus laughed, "An heir? Honey, you do what you've got to do. We'll take him or her with us, ok?"

"You and James' child? Never."

"It'd be yours, too. That makes up for Potter genes."

Lily shook her head, "I just realized something."

"What?"

"I'm gonna be Lillian Maria Evans Snape Potter."

Severus laughed, "That's quite a mouthful."

"I'll say... Unfortunately, to the world it'll only be Lillian Maria Evans Potter."

"Once we're together, you can drop the Potter."

"Why do I have to take his name anyway?"

"It's tradition, and doing otherwise might have others questioning you."

"That's L.M.E.S.P. Five initials."

Severus kissed her on the forehead, "Just go along with it... I think he really loves you, and if he does love you, I know you're in safe hands. That's all I could ask for."

"I could just live with Remus."

"Then I'd have to stop by once a month to protect you."

"That settles it, I'm marrying Remus."

*

Chapter Five, Part Two: Tuning Down The Monster

For the life of me, I can't figure out why I let him go... Or let him let me go. He insisted it was necessary, for the best if you must. God, I wish I could turn back time and warn him not to tell anyone... I don't blame him in the slightest. It's not his fault, if anything, it's mine for even letting something like that happen. Even if his father hadn't known, he would have eventually found out.

I married him... I let my guard down for one moment and fell in love harder than I've ever been. James was a schoolgirl crush at first; who wouldn't want to date the cutest guy in the school? It took me only two years to let him sleep with me. I regret that more than anything else I've ever done now. He took advantage of me for three years before I realized exactly what was going on. I loathed him at first, but now I've come to realize that even he can tone down the monster and become human for a minute or two.

I told him I wasn't going to sleep with him until we're married -- a hard choice, but I figured that would require me to tell him where my room is, something I don't intend on doing, in fear of him showing up while Severus and I are together.

Severus... I feel so guilty, it's unbelievable. He told me I was the only one he would ever marry, no matter what the circumstances were. Me being with James made it ten times more difficult to hear. I love him with everything I have and I would give up my whole life just to be with him. Each night I strain to hear him open the door, and when he does, it's like my whole world disappears and all that's left is him. He's my husband; it's a difficult concept for me to grasp, even after nearly seven months. We never lived together, unless my room counts. We started a family, but that opportunity was swept out from underneath us. Instead of killing our love, it made us grow stronger, the glue between us dries harder and harder until our minds and hearts are inseparable. It's almost as if I can read his mind... At night, when I feel his heart beating against mine, all I can think about is how much I wish time would stop and we'd be able to lay like that forever, melting into each other.

We're a perfect fit; it's like I was made for him and he was made for me. He gives me strength and I give him hope, almost like a song. However, our life isn't a song, it's a nightmare. Each day I pray Voldemort will be defeated so I would be allowed to go back to Severus and live my life with him.

I love James, but not like I love Severus. Not even a fraction of the love I hold for Severus belongs to James; however, as I am to marry him in a week, I have no choice but to love him as a wife should. He wants children; my loyalty to Severus doesn't allow me to try for a baby. If destiny should have it, however, I shall be grateful for being blessed with a child, no matter who the father is. Once I am married to James, Severus and I will not be able to see each other as often as we do now. The two men loathe each other with a passion; they hate each other so much they are unable to stay in the same room for more than two minutes together without an argument breaking out. As much as I love Severus, he does provoke James into fighting. James takes the bait however, which makes him just as responsible.

Remus Lupin has been there every step of the way for me. Without him, I have no idea how I would have made it through. The night James proposed, I confided in Remus my thoughts and feelings. I was scared; I still am. Even now, my hand is shaking and I fear I will drop my quill. He is truly a good friend. I know I can count on him to be there if I need someone to talk to, if I need someone not to judge me and to listen to my thoughts and feelings with being biased.

James believes he owns me, as if I am property. It is his way of loving me, for that was how his family was run. Severus knows he has my heart, shut up inside his own heart, racing next to one another. He has not experienced any other love except for me, and I fear if he finds another woman better than me, I shall be replaced. He swears there is no other, but he has yet to take part of the real world, alone and seemingly single.

I am terrified to walk down that aisle. I have seven days until my life is at the fate of Lord Voldemort. He reins with such terror both Wizarding and Muggle worlds alike have never seen, at least not in this era. My grandfather is the leader of a small army of witches and wizards devoted to taking Voldemort down, stripping him of his life, power, and dignity. My only fear is he will attack Severus before I am able to live out my life with him; seven months together is nothing compared to the lifetime of love I expect to receive from him, and to give him in return.

I shall love James as a devoted wife should, until the moment my true loyalties come into play. I will play along with the hand of cards Life has handed me, until it is my turn to pick from the deck. I shall be Lily Potter as best I can. However, I will always be Lily Snape at heart, even if no one knows. Keeping him a secret is the hardest thing I've ever had to do, but it is for the best. Letting him go shows how much I love him; allowing me to let him go shows how much he loves me. Both of us are equals in each other's eyes, and until the day I die, it shall stay that way.

Lillian Snape, June 27th, 1978.

*

Chapter Five, Part Three: Forever And A Day

It was final. The Hogwarts Class of 1978 graduated four days before the wedding between Lily and James. Severus was no longer under Dumbledore's watchful eyes, and the thought made him sick. Dreading the time when his Mark would turn black and burn his skin, he practiced the apparating and disapparating he had learned the previous summer diligently. He didn't speak to his father; any eye contact with him made Severus want to ring his neck, Azkaban or no Azkaban.

The hour finally came when the two were summoned to the Dark Lord. Concealing his face and body with his cloak before Apparating with his father, he felt his insides squirm with anticipation. They appeared in a dingy, dust covered room filled with other Death Eaters. He looked around for Lord Voldemort, but was unable to find him. After five minutes of waiting, he finally made his presence known.

"Death Eaters. Brothers. How long has it been? A month? Perhaps more? Please forgive me if I seem undoubtedly happy, for it is today we receive five new brothers. As they mature as wizards and reach their full potential, they shall replace their fathers before them.

"As it has been a tradition, I will bestow upon these new members each their own unique gift; Some of you have the gift of concealment, in which Matthew Crabbe shall receive. He will now be able to hide from anyone he sees as a threat." As his name was spoken, a jet of red light from Voldemort's wand hit him with such force it nearly threw him backwards. This lasted not a moment, for soon the boy was standing proud and tall.

"Marshall Goyle shall receive the gift of the Dementors; he shall be able to sense a life, no matter how belittled or weak it is.

"Lucius Malfoy will have the gift of animosity; a certain attitude only a true Death Eater can control.

"Peter Pettigrew shall receive the gift of Finding; wherever his prize maybe be, may it always stand out."

Severus knew he was next; He was the fifth and final one. Shuddering slightly as the hooded figure turned towards him, he held his head tall and faced his Lord.

"Severus Snape, you shall receive the girl of the Mind; You shall be able to both read and control minds at your whim without being detected. Use it well."

Severus was surrounded by red light; He was radiating heat. He didn't feel a blow as the past four had demonstrated, only the sense of power.

At once, voices invaded his head. Willing them to disappear, he quickly learned how to control his gift; it was either that or drive himself to the brink of insanity.

He attempted to tune in to his father for a moment; he was instantly filled with pride and hope, along with a feeling he only felt for one person; love.

He arrived at the Potter mansion promptly at 2 PM four days later, the designated time for the wedding guests to arrive. He was dressed in his best robes, his hair tied back and his boots newly polished. Wishing to see Lily before she walked down the aisle, he seeked her out for nearly a half hour before finding her in the garden, alone.

He slowly walked up to her, a feeling of anticipation rising in his chest. He sat down next to her and set his hand on her shoulder as a comforting gesture. The moment he felt her skin beneath his own, he experienced a flood of emotions like he had never felt.

Worry, misery, hopelessness, and happiness all at once. She looked up at him with tearful eyes, wiping away the last tear on her cheek.

"You came." She whispered, glancing around the garden to make sure no one was listening.

"Of course." Severus said, giving her a small hug. "I wouldn't miss it for the world."

Lily sighed, "I sure wish I could."

Severus shook his head, "Make your marriage a happy one... Don't make it miserable just because of me."

"I'm already happily married... I don't need another husband." Lily said as softly as she could, holding her head in her hands.

"Hey... Look up at me... That's a good girl. James is a strong man; he can take care of you and watch over you until the Dark Lord is defeated. Just never forget about me, that's all I ask of you. I promise, one day I'll come and get you." Severus wrapped his arms around her, trying to comfort her. The flood of emotions intensified; he could now hear her bawling and feel her body rock with ever sob.

"I can't believe I'm doing this... After all you've done for me... I feel like such a bitch... I'm such a bad wife... I'm so, so sorry..." She buried her face into his shoulder, wetting his rich velvet cloak with tears.

"Shh... It'll be ok... It's not your fault; it was never your fault. You just go up there today and marry James. Do that for me, if not for yourself. It's critical you do this Lily, or else we'll both be dead." Severus slowly rocked her back and forth.

It's my fault, it's my fault, it's my fault...

Her thoughts were coming in more clearly now to his mind, he could hear the words she was thinking.

"No, it's not... Shh... It's not your fault..."

She looked up at him for a moment, her green eyes overflowing. "How did you know what I was thinking?"

Severus gave her a small smile. "Voldemort gave me the power to read minds. I can read yours, too, baby... Talk to me while you're walking down the aisle and I'll listen. Whatever you have to say, tell me and I promise I'll listen."

Lily sniffed and nodded, raising her body up from Severus' embrace. "How long are we going to be like this?"

"For as long as we need to be. Be strong, Lily, I know you can."

He walked into the church and sat at one of the last piers on the right -- Lily's side. Down the aisle, he could see James and Sirius standing next to Dumbledore, who was holding a small book. He looked for Remus, but before he could find him, Remus sat next to Severus. Nodding in greeting, Severus once again tried out his new power.

Poor guy... Why can't you say anything, Remus? Tell him you know, tell him you're sorry, tell him he can talk to you any time he wants... Just tell him...

Remus took in a deep breath, "Severus, I'm sorry about all of this."

Severus shook his head, "There was nothing you could do."

"I wish there was... She loves you; she's spent each moment with James trying to get away from his touch. It makes her sick; she told me so."

Severus nodded, "Thank you Remus."

Remus looked down for a moment, then allowed his brown ones to gaze up towards Severus' black ones. "I know about you and Lily."

Severus nodded, "Did she tell you?"

"Only after I figured it out for myself."

"Good, I would have wanted you to know."

Remus gave him the smallest of smiles before turning to the entrance when the music started, where Lily was standing there, ready to walk.

Severus... Help me... I don't think I can do this, but I'll try to be strong. He hasn't hit me for nearly a year, but he still scares me. I don't know how to escape. Stand up and take me away from this place; I see you out of the corner of my eye, but I can't look at you in fear of someone finding out. Why does this aisle have to be so long? It's nearly fifty steps; I counted last night.

He's looking at me... Why is he looking at me? Of course, silly me. He thinks I'm walking down this aisle for him... Thirty more steps... I'm doing this for you, Severus. Don't forget that. I love you, and tonight I'll be thinking of you instead of this monster who's dubbed me his wife. Ten more steps... Five... Three... Oh God, please help me Severus...

Dumbledore looked up from the book and gave Severus one quick, but meaningful look. He then looked back at the couple standing before him, a somber expression on his face.

"Today, July 4th, 1978, shall reside in your minds as the day you two have joined together to form the strongest bond there is; the bond of marriage."

Only with you, Severus... Only with you...

"It pleases me greatly to see such young lovers proving their love and appreciation for one another in front of their friends and families."

Tell him I can't do this... Tell Papa I feel sick...

"Dearly beloved, we gather here today to join these two young people in the bond of marriage. Forever it lasts, for there is no cure for Love."

Help me Severus... I hate him...

Severus felt his insides boil as he saw her, shaking slightly, try to pull her hand away from James' tight grasp.

"...in sickness and in health, for better or for worse, till death do you part, you shall me. Are there any objections? Speak now, or forever hold you peace."

Object, Severus... Run away with me... Help me... Please, object...

His mind was going crazy now, as Remus held firmly onto his shoulder to prevent him from standing up. He silently thanked him, wondering if his body would have done so if it had not been restrained.

"James Lee Potter, do you take Lillian Maria Evans to be your lawfully wedded wife?"

He forgot Snape...

"I do."

"And do you, Lillian Maria Evans, take James Lee Potter to be your lawfully wedded husband?"

No, I don't... Don't make me do this... I don't, you're my husband, Severus... Help...

"I do."

Oh God, help me... I can't handle this...

"I now pronounce you husband and wife. James, you may kiss the bride."

Severus turned away from the site, but his mind was still connected with Lily's.

No... He's awful, I can't breathe... When is this going to end? Make it stop, Severus... Please...

"May I present you Mr. and Mrs. James Potter." Dumbledore nodded to the two, who quickly turned around and walked back down the aisle, hand-in-hand.

Tell me I'm dreaming... Tell me this is all a dream... Why couldn't he have been you, Severus? God... I'm so sorry... I love you so much...

Severus gave her a look of sympathy as she passed him, and in return he received a look of terror.

You see me now... Help me... Take me away... Tell Papa I didn't mean it...

Severus shook his head as she thought this, making sure she could see. She gave him one last look of sorrow combined with adoration, then walked through the double doors leading out into the bright sunlight.

Goodbye Severus... I'll see you soon... And I love you.

I love you too, Lily, Severus thought miserably, I love you too.

*

Chapter Five, Part Four: Trial By Fire

"I can't believe that jackass turned up... I thought for sure he was going to ruin the wedding."

Nearly forty-eight hours after James and Lily were wed, he was still complaining about the fact Severus had shown up. Lily merely shook her head, not wanting to set James off again.

The two were now in Godric's Hollow, in a small cottage James had picked out. They had moved in the day previous, much to Lily's dismal.

"When is Dumbledore calling that meeting?" James asked. The two were a part of her grandfather's group now, the "good" version of the Death Eaters, along with Severus, Minerva McGonagall, Arabella Figg, Mundungus Fletcher, Remus Lupin, Peter Pettigrew, and Sirius Black.

"Tonight, 9 PM, over in room 221 in the Leaky Cauldron." Lily answered non-chantey.

"Good. When I see that slimy bastard, he's going to get hell for coming."

Lily shook her head, "James, he didn't do anything. He broke up with me because he wanted to see you and I together... Maybe it was his way of getting closure." Over the past seven months, lying had become her strong point.

James pondered this thought for a moment, then finally sighed. "Only because you say so, Lily. Don't expect me to be civil, but I won't hurt him."

"Thank you." She said quietly. For the past two days, she had been as miserable as she had ever been. The Dark Lord was nowhere near defeat; he was at the height of his powers, and using them every chance he got. She had to tolerate James as long as he was around, and at the time it seemed like he would be there forever.

They arrived at the Leaky Cauldron a quarter to nine at quickly made their way up to room 221, where Dumbledore was sitting with Severus and Remus.

"Where's everyone else?" James asked, taking a seat as far away from Severus as possible. Lily gave Severus a sorrowful glance, and then took her place next to James.

I'm sorry... He's an asshole.

Severus smirked and nodded slightly, and then looked away from her back towards Dumbledore. They waited until Sirius, Peter, Arabella, Minerva, and Mungdungus showed up, nearly ten minutes later.

"Good, now that we're all here... Arabella, Mundungus, Minerva, as you can see we have many new additions. Severus Snape, Remus Lupin, Sirius Black, Peter Pettigrew, and James and Lily Potter."

Arabella and Mundungus said their hellos, receiving greetings right back, while Minerva merely greeted them in a teacherly fashion.

They both look old enough to be our parents.

Once again, Severus nodded slightly, trying not to look in her direction. He felt a separate pair of eyes on him, and turning in the direction of Peter, he saw the pudgy man's face etched with fear.

"May I remind you all of why we are here; we are here to deft Lord Voldemort. Each of us has a different reason, and although we do not know each other's reason, I am sure you will respect it and all the people in the room.

"We have two spies against Lord Voldemort -- Severus and Peter, both of whom are in his inner circle. They are risking their lives, sanity, and loved ones -- " Dumbledore shot Severus a look when he said this, "- to help our cause. Through them, we will receive information that one day may lead to Voldemort's downfall and possible destruction. Have you two found out anything yet?"

Severus cleared his throat, "There are five new Death Eaters, three besides ourselves. Lucius Malfoy, Matthew Crabbe, and Marshall Goyle. The others I am unaware of."

Dumbledore nodded, "Good. Is there anything you would like to add?"

Much to Severus' surprise, Peter spoke up. "We- we've each received special powers, unique to ourselves. I have the power of finding, while Severus-"

"-would not like to discuss his." Severus finished for Peter, giving him a look of warning. Shrinking back into his chair, Peter looked down at his feet, not saying a word.

"Very well, we can not force you."

Smart ass.

Severus grinned, "Fine. I have the power to read and control minds, only one of which I'm listening to right now."

Dumbledore smiled and he had a twinkle in his eyes, "And who might that be?"

Me.

"I can't tell you, in fear of being found out."

He was trying his hardest not to laugh now, while Dumbledore smiled and nodded.

"As long as you're not tapping into anything you shouldn't be."

Severus shook his head, "No sir. The person knows, and they are being quiet sarcastic at the moment."

"Listen to me a minute, Severus." Dumbledore requested. Severus nodded.

Good way to stay in touch with Lily... I couldn't have thought of a better way myself.

Severus smiled, "Thank you sir."

What did he say about me?

Lily demanded.

Severus shook his head, realizing the whole room was starring at his with disbelief.

"You lucky bastard." Sirius laughed, leaning back in his chair with his eyes on Severus.

"Can we please continue?" Severus asked, looking up towards Dumbledore.

"Yes, yes... of course." Dumbledore took of his glasses for a moment and wiped them with his robes, then set them back on his crooked nose. "If you two hear anything, and I mean anything, please alert me right away. You two are the keys to riding the wizarding world of Lord Voldemort."

Peter and Severus nodded in unison, then exchanged glances. Severus didn't trust Peter in the least and was having a difficult time hiding it.

The meeting continued for only ten more minutes, and as the group broke apart, Severus listened to Lily one last time.

I'm in Godric's Hollow now... If I need you, I'll owl you, but so far he's being good. I love you, goodbye.

Severus smiled and nodded, feeling Lily's eyes upon him. He Apparated back to his father's house, where he was waiting impatiently.

"Where on Earth have you been?" Severus' father demanded.

"None of your damned business." Severus replied, shooting a warning glance towards his father.

"Don't you take that tone of voice with me. Where were you?"

"I was at the Leaky Cauldron, having a drink. I didn't know that was against the law, sorry." He drawled sarcastically, while walking up a flight of stairs. He ignored his father's reply and went directly to his end of the mansion, where his study, bedroom, and toilet were. Laying down on his large four poster bed, he sighed and attempted to crack his back. After a moment of so of being unable to do so, he gave up and looked at the photo of Lily besides his bed.

"Godric's Hollow... Where the Snitch was invented." He smiled for a moment; "James must love it there. I'm sure you hate it though. You always did look down upon Quidditch. Not that I blame you; it wasn't my sport either." He sighed, then turned his head back into a comfortable position on his pillow. "Goodnight, Lily."

With that, he closed his eyes, not bothering to take off his robes, and quickly drifted off to sleep, Lily's thoughts still echoing in his head.

*

Chapter Five, Part Five: How Long?

Christmas was coming. Lily had adjusted to her life with James in Godric's Hollow, however she still thought of Severus as often as she breathed. She saw him perhaps once or twice a month, but she never had any time alone with him. Their first anniversary was coming up, and Lily wanted nothing more than to be able to spend the day with him.

James was insistent upon them having a Christmas tree and decorations up all over the house. Lily was in charge of all of this, even though she didn't feel any desire to be festive.

James wanted a child, but Lily insisted they wait until they had truly settled down and grown accustomed to married life. Secretly, she was bidding her time, trying to outlast the Dark Lord. She was a key player in trying to destroy his powers; she spent long hours trying to come up with ways to possibly stripe him of his powers, and she worked with James to come up with a counter curse to Avada Kedavra. They were on the brink of discovering a way to shield them from it, but had not yet truly discovered a counter curse.

(Lily's POV)

He woke me up Christmas morning, insisting I f-ck him before we go downstairs for breakfast. I can't use PMS as an excuse; he knows my schedule. Waiting for me on the kitchen table was a dozen red roses and a necklace with a silver dragon hanging from it. They were both beautiful, and being the devoted wife I was supposed to be, I hugged and kissed James, thanking him for the gifts. All I had gotten him was a new cloak and a set of books I knew he would enjoy. Being the devoted husband he thought he was, he hugged and kissed me, thanking me for the gifts. I smiled and pretended to enjoy the day, which was filled with hot chocolate, dancing, and friends. Remus, Peter, and Sirius stopped by at one point, and it was my job to make them comfortable.

Before Remus left, he gave me a note from Severus. I didn't dare open it until I was alone in the bathroom, in fear of James finding out. With shaking hands, I opened it and hungrily devoured the contents.

Dear Lily,

Merry Christmas baby. All I'm thinking of right now, at this very moment, is you and your lovely face. I hope you're enjoying your day with James. I know he's treating you well; Everytime I get lonely, I listen to what you're thinking. You always make me smile, Lil. I love you more than you will ever know, never forget that.

Tomorrow is our anniversary, as I'm hoping you remember. If you didn't, that's ok. I understand. I want to see you, but I don't know how to make that possible. Believe me, if I could think of a way to possibly do that, it would be done in a heartbeat.

We rarely ever get the chance to speak to one another, and each time we do, we're always surrounded by people. I just wanted you to know I still love you and always will. The Dark Lord will be defeated, for as much as he likes to think it, he is not immortal yet. Damned close, but not yet.

Think of me tomorrow... I'll be listening to you all day, as that's the only way I stay sane. Remember, I love you.

Yours Forever,

Severus

(End Lily's POV)

Lily wiped a tear that was rolling down her cheek, and blew her nose as quietly as possible. She read the letter as many times as it took to memorize every word, every curve, every "love" written down. Afterwards, she conjured up a small fire and burned it, flushing down the contents. Crying softly to herself, she left the bathroom and climbed into the bed she shared with James. Turning away from James, she curled up into a ball and didn't allow James to hold her as he wished. Careful not to make a sound, she cried herself to sleep, wishing there was a way for her and Severus to be together. Knowing it was impossible made the situation ten times worse.

The next day, her grandfather owled her asking her to show up at the Leaky Cauldron at noon, without James. He said he had a task she alone could do, so she Apparated there at a quarter to noon.

She spotted her grandfather quickly, and ran over to talk to him. She had only sat down for a moment before Dumbledore waved her up, motioning for her to follow him. Numbly and silently, she followed him up a rickety old staircase and into room 305.

"Merry Christmas, Lily." Dumbledore smiled as he opened the door, revealing a very confused but happy looking Severus.

"Oh my... Severus!" Lily ran into his open arms, showering his face with kisses. She vaguely heard the door close and lock behind her, but took no notice.

"Lily... baby... God it's good to see you..." Severus breathed, kissing her back. After a moment, the two parted, both red faced and breathless.

"Do you think.. Is this right...?" Severus asked, laying Lily down next to him.

"Damn it, Severus... We're married. Get that through your head." Lily smiled, kissing his forehead.

Besides, I've been praying for this for six months now... You are not going to let me down.

Severus laughed, "I won't, I promise."

It was unlike anything Lily and Severus had ever experienced; it was a combination of pent up love, lust, anger, frustration, and aggression. Clutching his body tight, Lily prayed as hard as she could for time to stop, for them to be able to stay like this forever.

"God, I wish so too..." Severus kissed her gently, pulling her as close as possible.

She left late that night, after nearly twelve hours of being with Severus. She was exhausted, and she knew James would be worrying by now. As she gave Severus one last kiss, she Apparated back to Godric's Hollow, where James was sleeping on their couch, wrapped up in a quilt he received from his mother.

Lily quickly transported James back upstairs to their bed, where she undressed and climbed in next to him. Thoughts of Severus were still running through her head; she could still feel him all over her. She avoided contact with James, in fear of the feeling of Severus disappearing from her body. She slowly drifted to sleep, her mind still cluttered with the sounds of his voice and breathing, the touch of his fingertips, and the feeling of his lips upon hers. She smiled at the thought, finally understanding why she was with James; to be with James was her ticket to being with Severus for the rest of her life. They would grow old together, have as many children as possible, and share as many memories as a Pensive could hold, perhaps even more.