Falling Forever: Ex Adyto Cordis

Tom strolled into the Slytherin common room, feeling accomplished. So what if he hadn't studied? He didn't really need to, anyway. Those two hours with Lily though... they had been something.

There was no denying it now. Tom had actually fallen for a girl. And the girl wasn't even Bellatrix- she was a Gryffindor! Tom had always thought if he ever even allowed himself to like someone, it would be Bella.

Bellatrix- "Bella"- Black was an exquisite and haunting beauty, with long black hair and pale skin like her sister Narcissa. She had very dark brown eyes that occasionally turned black like her hair, and pale pink lips. She was very attractive and she knew it. Bella was very powerful, very cunning. It was Bellatrix who had introduced him to Slytherin, and, in a way, converted him into what he was now.

But enough of that, what was he going to do about Lily Evans?

"Tom!" Augustus Rockwood ran up to Tom.

"What?" Tom shot Augustus a look of the deepest indifference and contempt. Augustus backed off a bit, and instantly regretted calling Tom by name.

"Lucius, Sir. He requests your presence."

Tom instantly found Lucius in the crowd. So, Lucius had gained some authority of his own. As long as he was no threat to himself, Tom liked the boy. He was calculating, clever, and useful. He knew how to get what he wanted.

"Very well, send him over. We'll talk in my quarters."

Augustus nodded. Others may have thought it odd that Tom had his own bedroom. To the Slytherins, it was only natural. After all, those who had become part of Tom's circle knew he was the Heir of Slytherin. He was their Lord, the one who could and would set things right in the magical world. It was no wonder that it was he who found the chamber the Great Slytherin himself had once resided in.

Tom feared that unless he himself had an Heir, the chamber would pass out of all knowledge. One had to know about the Chamber to see it, and one could only enter if accompanied by one who shared Slytherin's blood.

The last bit Tom appreciated most of all. It meant no one could intrude on him or his belongings.

Lucius walked over and gave a quick bow of respect. Tom nodded in reply.

"You wished to see me?"

******

"Not with Kate, Sirius?"

The rest of the student body had just returned from Easter break and James, Sirius, and Peter were lounging in the Gryffindor common room, spending their afternoon relaxing.

"Nah, we broke up."

"Really?"

"Yeah, don't worry about it."

It was true. After their fifth class, Kate had broken things off. Sirius wasn't sad. He knew he and Kate were more really good friends than boyfriend and girlfriend. It was a mutual split. They hadn't even gone on an official date. Plus, Sirius didn't believe in such a thing as true love, at least not for him. He doubted he'd ever marry. Why bother? It was much more fun to date a whole bunch of girls. That was Sirius' plan.

Kate wasn't mourning her new found single status either. Glad that things wouldn't be awkward between her and Sirius; she led Lily and Roxy over to the boys and sat down. But Kate's plan for love differed from Sirius'. She was a self-proclaimed romantic, and was very much looking forward to marrying the love of her life, once she found him. For now, however, someone else had attracted her attention, and so she asked after him.

"Where's Remus?"

"Mum's sick," answered James.

"Really?"

"Yeah, really sudden." Sirius didn't believe a word of it. He was amazed by Remus' ability to skip class. He must have a gift for forgery if the teachers didn't catch on. Sirius smiled a bit in admiration.

"Oh."

"Yup. Checkmate, Peter."

Peter looked down at his pathetically small number of pieces and sighed. "Rematch?"

*****

Narcissa Black smiled at one of the fourth-year boys, not even knowing who he was but deciding he was very cute. The boy returned the smile and nudged a boy to his left with his elbow. Narcissa batted her eyelashes and turned her gaze back to her food.

She loved Hogwarts. It was so much more fun than home, and there were so many boys to be with.

Her eyes fell upon the Gryffindor table and she saw her cousin Sirius laughing uncontrollably with that boy James Potter. They were both very cute, but Narcissa couldn't understand how the Hat had placed a Black in Gryffindor.

She was proud to be a Black, proud to be a member of quite possibly the most prestigious pure blood family. She had never had to want for anything, she and her sisters Bellatrix and Andromeda had always gotten whatever they desired. They had never had to work and they were, in Narcissa's opinion, very accomplished.

But something was missing in it all. Narcissa frowned. It bothered her that she should need something, but not know what it was. Well, whatever it was, she'd eventually figure it out. She always did.

Narcissa shook her fair hair and the fourth year watched it shine in the candlelight. Another boy at the table, however, had already claimed Narcissa Black.

Lucius Malfoy watched her with a smile playing on his lips. She was very beautiful, and she was a Black. They were a perfect match. She was a silly young thing now, when she was older they would date. He was sure he could manipulate her to do whatever he wanted.

Lucius allowed the smile to appear, a wicked look coming into his eyes.

Oh yes. He was very much looking forward to the conquest of Narcissa Black.

********

Remus walked back into the common room, feeling weary. Oh how he hated full moon. He had never even met the man who had given him this cursed disease. The werewolf had bitten and ran rabidly back into the darkness, escaping from being blamed for ruining Remus' life.

Remus sighed. Served him right for wandering in the forest, he supposed. Well, it wasn't his fault he had lost his parent's expensive wand case in there.

All right, it was. Remus had been very mischievous as a child, a trait that hadn't eluded him as he grew older. He wasn't nearly as reckless as James and Sirius, but he could have been. Being a werewolf had made him consider everything very much. Those nights in the Shrieking Shack, as he sat waiting for the day to end and for the moon to rise, waiting for the painful transformation to occur, he had had more than enough time to reflect. Remus knew he was a more serious person because of that bite, but he knew that what had happened was unalterable, and he had to learn to cope with it.

The night after full moon, Remus always wondered who it was who had bitten him. It was practically a symptom of the disease. As he retransformed, he always wondered who had done this to him. Who had made him a werewolf, who had drastically altered him, who had made his family have to move, who had made his parents have to work harder. Who had given him the bite? Unconsciously, he reached up to his left arm, right above the elbow, where the bite had occurred. The scar was barely visible now- you'd have to look for it to notice- but Remus doubted it would ever vanish.

"Remus!" James, Sirius, and Peter ran over to welcome him back. Remus smiled.

"Mum better?" asked Peter.

"Yup," replied Remus, feeling a twinge of guilt. He hated lying to them. They were like brothers to him. He'd hate to lose them, which he certainly would if they knew.

But Remus' eyes had drifted away from his best friends. Across the common room was Kate Caprilet, a smile lighting up her face, blue eyes and blonde hair shining. She was so beautiful. She had all the youthful innocence and happiness Remus had lost too early in his life.

Had she noticed I was gone? Doubt it.

Remus, stop it. She's Sirius' girlfriend.

Remus sighed as he came back to reality. There was no way he could like the girl his best friend was dating.

"Anything interesting happen while I was away?"

"Nah," Sirius yawned. "Me n' Kate broke up. That's pretty much it. We're still cool though, right Kate?"

"What?" Kate walked up next to Sirius. "Remus!" Another smile lit up her face.

And it's for me...

Deep inside him, Remus felt the smallest glimmer of hope. They had broken up! Sirius didn't seem to care that much. Maybe he could like Kate Caprilet.

"How's your mother?" asked Kate, sounding genuinely concerned.

"She's fine."

Another absolutely flawless smile. "Well, welcome back!"

Kate walked back to Lily and Roxy. Remus was stunned. He'd known it before, but that only proved it.

He'd never be able to thank Professor Dumbledore enough for arranging for him to come to Hogwarts.

******

"I'm sorry!"

Tom inhaled deeply, furious at the small first-year for interrupting his studies and spilling ink over the books.

Stupid idiot! Don't you see anything?

"Clean this up!" he snapped. He made the mess, he could clean it up. The boy instantly looked worried, not knowing the proper spell for the job.

Tom thought about hexing him, but thought better of it. He snapped the book closed and made the ink vanish with a wave of his hand.

"Forget it!" he yelled, and marched out of the common room to the quietness of the library. When he arrived, he smiled, and couldn't remember why he had ever been mad. Life was good.

Lily Evans was sitting at one of the tables and she smiled as she saw him enter.

********

It was a beautiful June afternoon- one of the few free days before exams launched themselves upon the student body. The Gryffindor first-years lounged out by the lake, lazily twirling a hand or arm here and there. No one really felt the need to speak, until James looked around suddenly as if just realizing something.

"Where's Lily?"

Kate and Roxy looked at each other and laughed.

"She's with Tom."

"Tom?"

"Tom Riddle. He's the boy who sat with her on the train. They're studying for exams together."

James had seen Lily with that boy. Tom. So that was his name. James unknowingly scowled, his eyebrows knit in concentration. Well, he could impress Lily Evans as well as any second-year.

"Who wants to go swimming?" he asked, eager for a distraction.

Sirius grinned and, to the delight of a group of Ravenclaw girls nearby, he and James quickly disposed of their shirts and dived in.

"Wonder if my buddy's around. Haven't seen him lately" laughed Sirius upon resurfacing, referring to the giant squid.

Kate grinned and looked over at Remus. While it was James and Sirius who got all the attention, Remus was actually very good looking. He was so cute, with that sandy hair, those dark grayish blue eyes, the little freckles on the bridge of his nose- Kate wondered if Remus realized he had them. Remus was only half-determinedly reading a book. He was always reading. He seemed really focused on proving he should be here- in that sense he was a bit like Lily. He was so smart though, he had already proved himself. So why keep up the extra work?

Kate smiled. Another similarity to Lily.

Kate sighed, her clear blue eyes losing a bit of their light. If only she liked someone else. Anyone else and she would just walk up and ask them out. But Remus was different, he was special. She couldn't just forget if she humiliated herself in front of him. She didn't think he would even want to go out with someone like her. They were so different. He always seemed so, resigned. He shouldn't be, he was too young. She wished she could help him, but it seemed like Remus would always be that serious. He was so much mature than she was.

Still, he looked like he wouldn't mind some conversation.

Remus looked up as Kate sat down, and wondered if he should say something first. He supposed he should.

"Hey."

For lack of a wittier greeting...

"Hey, how are you?"

"I'm good, you?"

"Good. Why aren't you swimming?" Kate nodded towards the lake, where James and Sirius were unsuccessfully trying to find another pair of students willing to engage in a battle of the game they'd christened Chicken. James had already climbed onto Sirius' shoulders and now the two were flailing about.

Remus looked at his friends and laughed. "Probably for the same reason you aren't."

"You're wearing a white shirt?"

Remus laughed. "You caught me."

"What's the book about?"
"Advances in Magical Remedies... treatments for all types of magical conditions."

Kate nodded and frowned. "Any good?"

"You'd have to be interested in this kinda stuff to think its good." Remus smile lessened, and Kate felt like she'd asked the wrong question.

"Going to be the next great Healer?" asked Kate, hoping to lighten the mood.

Remus smiled indulgently. After all, it wasn't Kate's fault. She didn't know.

Couldn't know...

"Thinking about it."

"Cool." Kate looked to her right and saw Roxy waving her over.

"I have to go. Talk to you later."

And she left.

******

James and Sirius dried off and walked together back to the common room after showering.

"So what's wrong James?"

"Nothing's wrong." James wiped his glasses with the hem of his shirt, looking anywhere but at his best friend. The ploy didn't work. The boys knew each other too well.

"Well, if you don't want to talk about it then fine, but you've obviously got something on your mind."

James sighed. "It's nothing..." His voice trailed off.

Sirius walked a couple paces more in contemplative silence.

"It's Lily, isn't it?"

"What?" James tried to sound surprised and failed horribly.

"Well, if you like her so much, why don't you ask her out?"

"I don't know. Sirius, I don't even know her that well."

"But you like her."

"Yeah."

"So, where's the problem? I'll do it."

James laughed and shoved him. "Don't you dare!"

"Fine, do it yourself."

"I can't, I don't know her well enough. She wouldn't say yes. And then there's that damned Tom."

James came out and said what was really bothering him. He'd been thinking about that stupid Tom all day. He never should have sat next to Roxy on the train, not when there was a seat next to Lily. Now he'd really gone and fucked things up.

"They're just friends."

"Really good friends, which is more than me n' her are."

Sirius shrugged. He couldn't really understand romantic problems other people had. If he liked a girl, he asked her out.

"So get to know her, you idiot. She's not going to notice you if you just sit in a corner."

James' lips thinned as he reflected over the advice. All right, if anyone could make Lily notice them, it was James. Next year, when he made the Quidditch team, he could show her. And he was smarter than stupid Tom, no matter if Tom was a second year. James didn't spend more than half an hour on homework a night.

Oh yeah, thought James. I'll show Lily Evans.

********

Lily glanced around the Great Hall. She wasn't the only one who was sad to see the first year come to an end. James and Sirius' wildness had helped to keep Gryffindor from winning the House Cup, and so the Great Hall was covered with the Hufflepuff colors.

She had passed all her exams, to her immense pride and relief. She would have to thank Tom, and ask how he did. Lily was certain he had aced them- he was, as she had always thought, tremendously brilliant. He had casually- and perhaps unconsciously- done spells that Lily was sure were far above grade level. Where had he learned all of them? All the spells he did easily. Lily thought he probably didn't even need a wand to do them. He was amazing.

The last few days- as had the whole year- went by in a blur, and before Lily knew it, she was black on Platform 9 3/4, here parents waiting somewhere in the crowd. The Gryffindors had all sat together on the train- the two groups had formed an unusually tight bond over the year- and now they were forced to say good bye.

Kate hugged all four of the boys, even though she didn't really know Peter. Out of all the girls, Roxy probably knew him best. Kate's last good bye was to Sirius, her best guy friend. As predicted, there had been no hard feelings, and they were very close. If James and Remus were brothers, then Kate was a sister to Sirius.

Roxy generally knew each boy best- the exception being the bond between Kate and Sirius. She even occasionally joined in on pranks. Lily remarkably knew the boys the least, but had earned all of their respect. Very observant, Lily had always taken notice of their bad days. However, Lily's final farewell was not to a Gryffindor, but a Slytherin.

"So this is it," said Lily. Tom was incredible. She couldn't imagine being without him.

"Guess so," he replied.

"Will you owl me?"

"Yeah. I will."

Lily smiled. "Bye, Tom." This time the hug wasn't quick or spur of the moment, and Lily savored the feeling of Tom's arms around her, saving the memory for a boring day.

"Bye Lily," said Tom, hesitant to let go, afraid that if he did, she'd be out of his life forever. It was a silly thought, and Tom pulled his arms back to his sides.

"Come on, Lily!" Lily's friend Kate was waving her arms impatiently. Lily smiled.

"'Til September." Reminded of how impossibly far away that was, the smile left Tom's face and he sullenly went to find that damned orphanage woman.

September couldn't come soon enough.