Full Circle

Chapter 9 - Bad Moon Rising

            The sun glistened on the freshly fallen snow. The bells were ringing in downtown Hogsmeade. The stockings were hung by the chimney with care and visions of sugar plums danced in people's heads. Some might say there is nothing more magical than waking up on Christmas morning. This would assume that there wasn't an irritated red haired young woman staring at you when you opened your eyes.

            "So, exactly when do you plan on telling Harry you're pregnant?" Ginny said in a tone strangely mimicking that of Mrs. Weasley scolding the twins.

            "Well, Happy Christmas to you, too," Hermione replied, her head still mucked with sleep.

            Ginny was not only kneeling on the edge of the bed wearing her green flannel nightgown, but it was obvious that she had reached the end of her patience in this situation.

            "Hermione, think for a moment and let the words that I just spoke seep into your brain."

Her friend stared back at her with an equally unamused expression.

            "Ginny, I have no idea what you're talking about."

            The younger girl gritted her teeth in frustration. "Oh, don't do this, ‘Mione. There is just no point in pretending with me. I've known that something was up for the last few months and I've patiently waited for you to tell me - to tell anyone for that matter. Now is your opportunity to talk."

            Surprisingly, Hermione just laughed. "Where did you come up with such a ridiculous tale, Ginny? Reading too many melodramatic Muggle novels?"

            "Hermione, I know you're a smart girl. You're probably using half a dozen spells to hide the truth from the entire school, including all of your professors, fellow classmates and even your closest friends. But soon, even magic isn't going to be able to disguise it." Hermione's smile began to wane.

            "Ever since we came back to Hogwarts, you've just been acting so strangely: not eating, sleeping too much, getting sick. Then you started getting moody and emotional, going out of your way to avoid people and seeming nervously twitchy. And as a friend, a female and a person training in medicine - I know the symptoms. Not only those of a woman who is pregnant, but also of someone who is desperately hiding a secret."

            Ginny paused and waited for a response, but Hermione was speechless.

            "After awhile I assumed the reason that you were keeping your situation a secret, even from your friends, was because you felt that you needed to tell Harry first, since he was the father. It's unfortunate that Harry had been gone since August and you were unable to contact him. But he's been back at Hogwarts for three days now and you haven't made any attempt to talk with him. In fact, you've been avoiding him! Hermione, this is a serious situation. He needs to know."

            Hermione's emotionless mask crumbled as Ginny reached out to touch her hand. She couldn't even look her friend in the eye as she spoke.

            "How did you know it was Harry?

            Ginny's own heart clenched tightly in her chest. From the look on Hermione's face, she knew that she couldn't confess her part in the situation just yet. "When we received news that Professor Dumbledore had died, the night of Harry's birthday, and we found the two of you in the garden - I just put two and two together..."

            Hermione glanced up quickly. "Does Ron know?"

            "Do you think I would honestly tell Ron before you had a chance to tell Harry?"

            "Tell Harry what?" he asked with a smile as he entered Hermione's bedroom. It was obvious that he had not the earlier part of the conversation. The two girls just sat there wide eyed as Harry stood in the doorway, looking adorable in his pajamas with his hair sticking up. "I just stopped in to wish you both a Happy Christmas and to see if you were coming down to the common room to open gifts."

            "I didn't know whether to tell you that the gift I special ordered for you would not be here in time for Christmas," Hermione blurted. 

            He grinned. "Don't worry about it ‘Mione. It's not a big deal. Come on, Ron and I have set things up by the fireplace."

            "Nice save," Ginny noted after Harry turned to leave the room, before she leaned over and whispered, "We'll continue discussing this issue later." 

            While Christmas at Hogwarts was not as homey as spending the holidays in the Burrow like they had the year before - there was still a special quality about it. It was here within these walls that Harry enjoyed his first Christmas that didn't involve him hiding in the cupboard so as not to be seen by the Dursleys' dinner guests. Finally he could be with the people he cared most about in the whole world.

            Despite how excited Harry was about the items he purchased in London, he waited until all the other gifts had been opened before offering his. He almost couldn't believe his eyes when he opened a small box that held a new watch - a gift from Ron.

            "How did you know I needed a new watch?" Harry asked in amazement.

            "I didn't know, I just assumed your old one had to be broken. In fact, I'm surprised it didn't die after the second task in the Triwizard Tournament. Being under water so long, probably ruined the inside."

            Ginny thanked Hermione for the sheet music as Harry unwrapped a picture frame holding a photograph of the four of them playing in the lake behind Sirius's house. Ron was in the background with Hermione propped on his shoulders - her arms gripping his head in fear that Ron was going to drop her. Ginny was in the water distracting her brother while Harry was sneaking up behind them. Knowing full well how this scenario played out in real life, Harry laughed. This was just one of several moving pictures from Harry's birthday party that Ginny had framed and given as gifts.

            "This is perfect, Ginny. Thanks!" He replied before pulling out three small boxes buried beneath the Christmas tree. The red box he tossed to Ron. "Check this out!"

            The hooting and hollering Ron made when he discovered what the gift was could probably be heard throughout the entire castle. Inside the box was two tickets to the Quidditch World Cup, which would be held the following August.

            "And you'll never guess where they are having the game!" Harry smiled like a kid in Honeydukes. "The United States!"

            "How is that possible? The U.S. doesn't even have a country team," asked Ginny.

            "They're in the process of establishing one right now and they decided that a good way to get American wizards interested in the sport on a nation wide scale would be to host the cup this year. Besides, it guarantees neither competing team with have a "home field" advantage," replied Harry.

            "This is bloody brilliant, Harry!" Ron practically squealed in excitement as he ran to hug his best friend. "You are unbelievable."

            "Well, I'm glad you like it, Ron." Harry acted calm, but he was beside himself with joy. Then he handed the little green box to Ginny and a matching white box to Hermione. The two girls glanced at each other for a moment in wonder, before they proceeded. Inside the green box was a silver unicorn pendent dangling from a matching chain that sparkled just slightly as she lifted it up to show everyone.

            "Oh, Harry it's beautiful," Ginny said as Hermione held up her own necklace: a golden butterfly.

            "I saw them both at a store called Spirit Charms in London. The place was amazing and I knew it would be the perfect spot to find your Christmas gifts. I was there for more than an hour trying to pick out what I thought would be the best spirit animal for each of you. Do you like them?" He watched Hermione carefully as he said those words.

            "I love it," said Ginny as Ron removed the little booklet from the bottom of the box.

            "For thousands of years unicorns have been viewed as beautiful, shy creatures who symbolize not only purity of virtue but also the untamed wild. They are also well known and sought after for their healing capabilities." Ron frowned. "Hey, Harry, what exactly are you trying to say about my sister?"

            "Ron, how do you manage to read an entire page and yet only pay attention to two or three words?" replied Ginny with a scowl.

            Harry moved so that he could sit down next to Hermione who curled up on the couch. "So what do you think, Hermione?" It was an answer he had already spent months waiting for.

            In her mind, it felt like months of conflicting emotions were boiling down to one single moment. First she had been confused about what had happened and then depressed that he was gone. Later she was angry at him for never writing to her before she eventually became mad at herself for not doing the same. She would stay up late at night and sit at her window seat, staring at the billions of glittering stars in the sky - hoping that he could hear what she was thinking from miles away. Harry had always managed to be there for Hermione whenever life dealt her a difficult hand, why couldn't he sense that she needed him now?

            But yet in her hands, she held a golden butterfly that he had picked out for her. Without even reading the little card included with the necklace, she knew what it symbolized. Butterflies represent change and transformation. Could Harry sense the metamorphosis - Hermione had been slowly leaving her frizzy haired, bucked tooth, awkward caterpillar self behind for the last few years. But it was in the last few months that her life entered a phase of tremendous change. She also knew that in Greek, the word "psyche" means both "soul" and "butterfly" - linking the evolution of human consciousness. In some Native American cultures - they had a legend suggesting that the butterfly was the ultimate secret keeper, only revealing its thoughts to the Great Spirit. Ironically, Ancient Celts even believed that women became pregnant by swallowing butterfly souls...

            Hermione challenged herself to look her best friend in the eyes. "This is really beautiful, Harry. Truly beyond words."

            He sighed in relief. "Good, I'm glad." There was so much more that he wanted to say to Hermione at the moment, but he knew that now was not the time. After seeing Ron and her kissing the other night, he wondered if they were re-exploring their previous relationship. Since his return, neither of them had acted like they were romantically involved, but then again it might just be something they weren't willing to share with anyone just yet. Either way, Harry would have to keep his emotions to himself for now.

            Later that evening, the four friends from the Gryffindor House dressed in their nicest holiday sweaters (the newest ones had just arrived this morning from Mrs. Weasley) along with their skirts and slacks in preparation for Christmas dinner in the Great Hall. Since it was a rather small event consisting of eight students and the various remaining staff members, there was no need to dress in their typical school robes. At the foot of the steps that lead into the entrance hall, Ron, Harry, Ginny and Hermione had the unfortunate luck of running into Malfoy who was climbing the stairs from the Slytherin "dungeon".

            Once his eyes fell on Harry, Malfoy couldn't help but to comment. "Well, well...if it isn't the famous Harry Potter! I must say it has been quite peaceful at Hogwarts without you around to stir up drama. What brings you here to grace us with your presence?" His tone of voice couldn't have been more oily if he spilled it into the Atlantic in an attempt to kill thousands of ocean animals.

            "For Merlin's sake, Malfoy. Your jealousy is so petty," Ron retorted.

            "Wank off, Weasley. I was planning on saving my insults for Potter, but if you want some of it, I'll be glad to dish it out."

            Hermione grabbed Ron by the arm before he had a chance to pounce Malfoy with his fists. "It's not worth getting in trouble, Ron."

            Malfoy tisked. "Such a violent temper that boy has. An obvious sign of his lower class and breeding. Just imagine what he'll do when he finds out about Granger."

            Ginny pulled her wand and yelled "RICTUSEMPRA", causing Malfoy to fall to the ground plagued by uncontrollable laughter. Hermione quickly dragged Ron into the Great Hall while Harry congratulated Ginny on her tickling spell.

            "Still got a louder bark than bite, don't you, Malfoy." She turned to Harry. "I've got the situation under control. I'll meet you inside."

            Harry chuckled. "I have no doubt that you do. Well, it's been wonderful to see you again Malfoy."

            The blond boy could not respond since he was choking on his own fits of giggling. Ginny stood over him for a few minutes before reversing the spell, leaving Malfoy sprawled on the floor from sheer exhaustion. She leaned in closely and snarled.

            "Haven't you pulled enough stunts around here, Malfoy? When will you ever learn your lesson?"

            Malfoy dragged himself to his feet and brushed himself off. He hesitated, looking her over in disgust for having embarrassed him, but for some reason he seemed unwilling to retaliate. "Do me a favor and piss off, Ginny." He turned to walk back down the stairs to his dormitory.

            "Oh, so it's Ginny now? No more Weasel or Red? What caused this sudden shift to a respectable first name basis, Draco?"

            Malfoy whipped around and stared at Ginny with his cold grey eyes. "Listen, girl. You don't know shit about me, so stop going around pretending like you do."

            "Oh really?" she replied calmly and reached out her arm to touch the left side of head. Before her fingers were even able to brush against his skin, to see if the mark was still there, Malfoy flinched.

            "What the hell are you doing?" He squeaked, his face suddenly paler than usual.

            "Don't tell me what I don't know, Draco. A boy who has nothing to hide wouldn't cringe at the mere touch of a hand."

            The two students stood there for a moment, neither one knowing exactly what to say next. Fortunately Professor Malfoy entered, dressed in an enchanting purple dress robe, her expression becoming warmer with each time that Ginny saw her. The older witch smiled when she noticed her red haired pupil.

            "Happy Christmas, Ginny." She turned and eyed her son suspiciously. "Is there a problem here, Draco?"

            Malfoy mumbled a "no" and said he wasn't feeling well.

            "You probably ate too many sweets earlier today. I wouldn't be surprised. Why don't you head downstairs and I'll have the house elves bring you down a plate later tonight when you're feeling better, ok?" Her previous frown faded as she kissed him gently on his forehead.

            Ginny was beyond surprise to see Professor Malfoy acting in such a motherly way, particularly in front of another student. After he walked away, she turned to Ginny and confessed "He's seems to be very stressed out recently. Jittery, anxious. I've been very worried." The two witches continued to Great Hall for the Christmas feast. "His old friends Gregory and Vincent haven't been around much lately, though I'm glad about that. Never was a fan of those boys to begin with - kind of slow, if you know what I mean."

            Ginny couldn't believe her ears. Was Narcissa Malfoy confiding in a sixteen year old Gryffindor student? This woman never ceased to amaze her with her contradictory actions. Perhaps she really was as lonely as she seemed sometimes...

            "But I'm glad Draco's making an effort to find some new friends. He could probably use someone like you in his life right now."

            Friend? Was she for real? A Malfoy and a Weasley? Ginny looked at Mrs. Malfoy and could see that she was being totally serious. "Will you try to talk to him Ginny? There's only so much a mother can say to her teenaged son that he'll actually listen to."

            Ginny nodded. "Yes, Professor. I'll try to talk to him." And with that, they sat down at the long dining hall table which, for only a short amount of time during the school year, combined witches and wizards together with no regard to their house.

            A few afternoons later, Ginny entered the Gryffindor common room to find Hermione sitting all by herself at a table, studying. Now's my chance! Ginny thought as she sat beside her.

            "Not now, Ginny. I've got a lot of work to do," Hermione said before her friend could get in a word edgewise.

            "I haven't seen you making any effort to talk to Harry," Ginny persisted.

            "Listen, you can't begin to understand the complexity of the situation. I have my reasons for not sharing this information with him."

            Ginny raised her eyebrows in disbelief. "And you actually feel you have the right to keep this from him?"

            Hermione slammed her textbook closed in aggravation. "This isn't about what right or wrong, Ginny. It's about what has to be done. This is my choice and I would appreciate if you would respect that."

            "I would respect your choice, if I felt you actually had one. Don't you realize how deep a hole you're digging yourself into?"

            Hermione looked up at Ginny sadly. "I already have a plan to salvage what's left of my life. There's just no point in ruining Harry's."

            Desperate to make a point, Ginny whispered, "What about You-Know-Who?"

            "You-Know-Who? Oh, you mean Voldemort. Geez, why can't anyone around here call him by his actual name? But more importantly, why do you think the "Dark Lord" would have time to care about my personal situation."

            Remembering the conversation she had overheard between Lucius and Draco, Ginny replied, "Because the person he hates the most and wants revenge on just happens to be Harry Potter - and you are inconveniently caring Harry's child."

            Hermione freaked. "Not so loud. We're in the common room!"

            Ginny lowered her voice. "What if he comes after you in order to end the next generation before it begins?"

            Hermione appeared nervous, but tried to respond calmly. "Well, if the only two people who know about it are you and me....then Voldemort will never find out, now will he?" She collected her study materials and headed back to her dorm room. Ginny felt no desire to follow her. For a girl whose life was relatively simple, Ginny was exhausted by all the secrets she had to keep for other people. She propped her chin on her hand and was beginning to nod off when someone unexpected entered the common room through the portrait door.

            "Professor Snape - how did you get in here?" Ginny asked.

            "Honestly, Miss Weasley. As a Hogwarts professor, you think I do not know the passwords into all the houses?" His words were stern, but surprisingly his face was not. "Have you seen Mr. Potter and Miss Granger?"

            "Hermione just went to her room and I think that Harry and Ron are upstairs. Why, what's wrong?"

            "I do not have time to explain, Miss Weasley. If you could just fetch both of them and bring them to the Headmistress' office immediately that would be appreciated." He paused for a moment to think. "You might as well bring your brother along as well. Go on. Quickly."

 

            Roughly fifteen minutes later, the four of them found themselves in Professor McGonagall's office, which until five months ago had belonged to Professor Dumbledore. It was the first time Harry had been inside this room since the former Headmaster had passed away. Sitting at the desk was the Professor McGonagall, standing behind her right side was Snape looking strangely unsettled. In the left hand corner of the office stood Sirius Black with his back to the students. Harry and Hermione sat in the padded arm chairs in front of the desk, while Ron and Ginny sat off to the side - all eyes on the Headmistress.

            "I've got startling news for both of you," she said, her expression as composed as usual.

            Harry said nothing, but watched Sirius out of the corner of his eye, surprised that his godfather did not face them.

            "After bringing you back to Hogwarts, Harry, your guardians Mr. Black and Mr. Lupin were invited to spend the week here with us before returning to London to continue further investigations. I'm sure you're all aware of this since both of the gentlemen joined us for our Christmas feast."

            They nodded, having no idea where she was going with this statement.

            "What you might not realize is that last night was the completion of a full moon."

            Harry was confused, since he had just spent over four months living with Remus and never once had their been a problem. Remus usually just took his suppressive Wolfsbane potion about a day or two before the full moon and then rested in his bedroom until his symptoms subsided. It often made him ill, but it was a chance he had to take due to his condition.

            "Well, it turns out the vial of potion that Lupin had brought with him for the trip had been broken during the journey. Two days ago he came to Professor Snape to see if he could create another batch."

            Snape turned the address the students. "Unfortunately I did not have the ingredients on hand to complete the potion. I was planning on buying more heart of newt the next time I was in Diagon Alley."

            Professor McGonagall continued. "It appeared that Mr. Lupin was ok with this decision and was planning to use his fall back plan that he had used often when he was a student here."

            "So he went to the Shrieking Shack?" Harry asked.

            The Headmistress nodded. "Very early this morning, Mr. Black transformed into his anigamus self in order to visit his friend during his special time, which he commonly had done in the past."

            "The students are aware of this story, Minerva. Please go on," interrupted Snape.

            Professor McGonagall glanced over her shoulder at Sirius before she carried on. "When Mr. Black arrived at the shack, he discovered that Mr. Lupin was not alone. There was an escaped convict from Azkaban who was hiding in that same location."

            "It was Peter." Sirius said in a numbed voice as he turned around. Despite any visual signs, Hermione knew that the older wizard must have cried earlier that day.

            "Peter Pettigrew!" Harry shouted as he jumped out of his seat. "That's impossible. His was given the kiss of death by the Dementors last spring!"

            Snape walked over to Harry and put his hand on his shoulder. It was moments like these, when the former potions professor seemed unexpectedly human. "Well, it appears that there are more Death Eaters in the Ministry than we could have ever imagined. How else can we explain how multi-murderer and assistant to the Dark Lord could be sentenced to Azkaban when the wizarding public had been told that he would be receiving the kiss of death. Apparently someone with a high position managed to arrange this alternative punishment."

            "And then he must have escaped by turning into a rat," Harry sighed. "Just how Sirius got out four years ago. As a dog, the Dementors could not keep tabs on him and he walked out right under their noses."

            Snape grunted in disapproval. "We all know how well that incident turned out."

            Sirius stared at Snape. "And I suppose you think I should have stayed put in Azkaban and let the true criminal who got me sent to prison roam free. I would have killed Peter the night that I had found him - if you had not been snooping around with the need to interfere."

            "It is my duty to determine why three students were out of bed that night-"

            "Silence!" Professor McGonagall interrupted. "I would appreciate if you boys would keep your trivial teenaged rivals to a minimum. For goodness sakes, you are both grown men now."

            Both Sirius and Snape closed their mouth as the Headmistress continued. "I believe you are right, Harry, about Mr. Pettigrew escaping as an anigamus. Apparently he was making his way back to Hogwarts and was hiding at the shack until he could find an appropriate time to do so. He wasn't expecting a werewolf to intervene with his plans."

             Sirius brushed his wild black hair out of his eyes. "When Remus recognized Peter and realized that he was still alive, he must have instinctively gone after him. But Peter hand the upper hand..."

            Hermione looked up, suddenly realizing what had happened. "A silver hand to be exact." Her three friends watched her yet they still did not understand. "Silver is one of the few things known to kill a werewolf."

            "When I arrived," Sirius paused for a moment to regain composure. "It was too late. Remus was already...dead."

            Harry closed his eyes. To hear these words hurt even worse than when he learned about Professor Dumbledore. Remus Lupin had been like an uncle to him.

            "But Peter was still there. I knew that this was the time and nothing was going to stand in my way. I was going to end it once and for all." Sirius averted his eyes to the ground. "And I killed him."

            Ginny gasped in the background and Professor McGonagall sensed their confusion. "It will be alright, Ginny. According to official record, Peter Pettigrew has been dead for eight months. Since no one knew he was alive, Mr. Black will not be in trouble for what he has done."

            Harry placed his head in his hands and tried to pretend that none of this was real. How many times will I have to come face to face with death during my lifetime? How many more people can I loose before it stops being so painful? His parents, Cedric, Hagrid, Dumbledore and now Remus. Most of them have been killed in connection with Voldemort.

            Professor McGonagall allowed a silence for a few minutes before she knew she had to continue. "I wish I could tell you that this is the only bad news that I need to share with you this afternoon." Ginny and Hermione's eyes were wet with tears as they exchanged worried glances with Ron. Harry refused to make eye contact with anyone in the room, including his godfather who remained motionless in the corner.

            "During the struggle between Mr. Black and Mr. Pettigrew, the latter made an attempt to explain why he had been hiding in the shack and was planning to go to Hogwarts. He kept repeating the words - ‘I need to see Hermione'."

            "NO!" Ginny cried out as Hermione felt the world around her begin to blur.

                                                       Voldemort knows....