Shadow on My Heart

Chapter 24: Closing In

The final few weeks before Easter slipped by. Classes had become uncomfortable dealings. Potter would sit in stony silence at the back of the room during both Potions and Defense Against the Dark Arts. In that time, Severus noted that Granger and Weasley seemed to be on speaking terms with him again. At least the three of them were sitting together during classes and meals.

At first he had been concerned that Potter had shared what he had seen with them in order to gain their sympathy. Thankfully those fears had been put to rest by Callista, who had flat out asked the boy if he had kept his mouth shut. Eventually, Severus had taken Dumbledore's advice and started treating the boy with a cold indifference, which had proved to be infinitely easier than he had anticipated.

The Sunday afternoon before the students were to leave for the two week break, Dumbledore called a meeting with Severus, Callista and Professor McGonagall in his office. The four sat informally by the fireplace, enjoying a few moments of adult conversation and discussing Order business. Gradually the talk shifted to plans for the holidays.

"I have decided that Harry will be staying in London over the break. Alastor and Nymphadora will be giving him some extra training," Dumbledore informed them. "I myself will also be working with him to attempt to improve his Occlumency skills."

Severus felt a rush of relief: two blessed weeks without fear of Potter infringing on his time with Callista or his life in general. He felt a nasty smile tugging at the corners of his mouth. He glanced at McGonagall and Callista in turn. The older witch sat stiffly in her chair, nodding in agreement with the headmaster.

Callista raised worried eyes. When she spoke, it sounded as if she was taking extra care with her choice of words. "Do you think it's wise to send him there? To a place with so many memories of Sirius, I mean."

"The house in London is more convenient for both Alastor and Nymphadora. With so many of the students gone and no work to do for classes, it would look highly suspicious for him to be seen going to your office. We cannot afford to draw attention to him being missing for long periods of time. Enough problems have ensued because of that prior arrangement," the old man reasoned, looking at her troubled face.

"I'm just concern about him being shut up in that house, that's all."

"Remus is staying there, Callista; Harry will not be alone." He hesitated for a moment. "If you think that you can manage it, I would like for you to stay there for part of the break."

At these words, Severus dug his fingers into the padded arms of his chair. He was outraged that Dumbledore was considering sending her to London to baby-sit the little beast when she was needed here at Hogwarts. Out of the corner of his eye, he noticed that McGonagall was watching him, an eyebrow raised. Had she seen his initial reaction?

"What about my work on the potion?" Callista asked. "I'm sure Severus could manage on his own, but it was initially my project."

"Afraid I will take all of the credit?" he asked snidely, hoping to cover up his prior slip of emotion.

Callista closed her eyes and took a deep breath before replying, "I wasn't trying to imply any such thing, Severus. I just don't feel that it would be fair to leave you stranded with all of the work, especially since we are so close to completion."

"So you think that you will have a working potion soon?" McGonagall asked, effectively interrupting the upcoming argument.

"It looks that way, providing nothing goes wrong." Callista's face began to glow with enthusiasm as she gave an update on their work. Severus allowed himself to be inwardly caught up in her excitement. "The good news is that several of the unicorn mares should be dropping foals over the next few weeks. I was planning on staying here so that I could check on them frequently. As much as I would like to be of help, I feel that it would be best for me to stay here. I will, of course, be more than happy to travel to London to check in on Harry."

Dumbledore looked at her over his half-moon spectacles. "I'm sure Harry will appreciate your efforts."

"Who else will be staying at the house in London?"

"Besides Remus, who is essentially a permanent occupant, the Weasleys will be there for part of the break. Molly plans on preparing a huge Easter feast for any Order members who can come." Callista frowned slightly at this news. Dumbledore continued, pretending not to notice. "Miss Granger will be staying as well. I did, however, encourage her to visit with her parents at some point during the break. No doubt they miss her."

"It's good to see that he is back on speaking terms with his friends," Callista commented stiffly.

"You sound disappointed by this," Severus answered.

Callista threw him an irritated look. "Even you must admit his work was much better when they were not speaking to him. I only hope that his studies won't suffer."

"He needs them," the headmaster said. "There are few things more important than the love and support of friends."

"Granger and Weasley were the first real friends that Potter had when he came here, Callista," McGonagall reminded her. "It was only a matter of time before they worked through this."

Callista shook her head, clarifying, "I don't object to his choice of friends. It's just that he had so much more focus when they weren't speaking."

"I am confident that his focus will improve further now that he again has the support of his friends. However, I would like to be informed if he does become lax in his studies." Dumbledore looked at each of them as they nodded in agreement.

After a few more discussions concerning school business, Severus excused himself and rose to his feet. He had a few potions brewing in the dungeons that needed to be checked on, end of term essays to mark and a list of needed supplies to order for the final term. He nodded to Callista and McGonagall respectfully before giving a perfunctory good evening to the headmaster. Callista was excusing herself when Dumbledore asked her to remain.

No doubt he is going to attempt to convince her to stay with the whelp over the holiday, and of course she will give in to his wishes, he thought angrily as he made his way down the spiral staircase. He was about halfway down when he became aware that McGonagall was coming down behind him.

"What's gotten into you, Severus?" the older witch asked.

He stopped, turning on the step to meet the older woman's quizzical stare. "I have no idea what you are talking about."

"Severus, I've known you since you were a first year. It bothered you when Albus asked Callista to go to London. Why?"

He stiffened slightly. She had caught his reaction after all. He hoped that his reply would satisfy her curiosity. "As she said, we are on the verge of a breakthrough with the potion. Her leaving now is inconvenient."

"Normally you favor working alone. Are you actually enjoying this assignment?"

"After spending large portions of my day trying in vain to impart some measure of knowledge to those idiotic flobberworms in school robes, it is a relief to hold an intelligent conversation."

"Is mere conversation enough for you, Severus?" Her thin eyebrows contracted as she came down the final few steps to stand beside him. "I know that you had more than a passing interest in Callista while she was a student." The older woman tentatively laid a wrinkled hand on his arm. "I just don't want to see either of you hurt."

It wasn't like her to be so maternal to anyone other than students from her own House, and then only under very exacting circumstances. He wasn't entirely certain how react, so he settled on being as neutral as possible. "I appreciate your most unnecessary concern."

Without giving her an opportunity to question him further, he stalked off toward the dungeons.

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Later that night as Severus and Callista readied for bed, he dared to broach the subject of her going to London. He kept his tone bland when he asked, "Did Dumbledore ask you to stay in London?"

"Yes," she answered, staring up at the canopied ceiling of the bed.

He scowled, feeling the anger bubble up fiercely within him. "And of course you said 'yes.' Never mind that we are on the verge of a breakthrough with the potion. Not to mention that you were the one who didn't want to leave me 'stranded with all of the work.' And let's just completely neglect the fact that I am an utterly selfish bastard who would rather have you here than being a child minder for the Chosen Pain in My Ass!"

At that, he abruptly turned his back to her, trying to control his sudden surge of emotion.

"Severus," Callista whispered, her voice close to his ear, "if you are quite finished with your tantrum, I just want you to know that I told him I was staying here to work on the potion with you. That I would stop by Headquarters when I visited London."

"You what?" he asked, turning so quickly that his nose collided painfully with her chin.

"I put my foot down. You are now stuck with me for the entire Easter holiday." She leaned over to kiss his nose. "On one condition."

"And what would that be?" he asked, suddenly suspicious.

Callista moved closer to him. "You let me get you something more provocative than this ugly gray nightshirt."

He opened his mouth to retort, but closed it when he realized that he had no reply to make. Instead, he sat up and pulled of the offending garment, drawing her closer for warmth. She had chosen him over Potter. She had even gone against Dumbledore's wishes to do so. She curled up contentedly against him, running her fingers through the hair on his chest. A rare feeling of contentment settled over him as he held her.

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On Thursday evening, Severus Apparated into the litter-strewn alleyway around the corner from number twelve, Grimmauld Place. He glanced around before stepping out into the street. Behind him a cat meowed loudly; he immediately recognized the tabby's markings. The cat leapt to the ground in front of him, swishing her tail.

"Traveling incognito, I see," he said, as the tabby purred loudly. "Lead the way, and I will cover you. Remember that there is a rather large dog living in number seven."

With an appreciative flick of her tail, McGonagall (in cat form) trotted up the sidewalk, and Severus followed in her wake. They stopped between numbers eleven and thirteen, watching as number twelve pushed out from between the other two houses. Lupin, looking both tired and shabby, greeted them in the foyer.

They had no sooner entered when a streak of ginger headed straight for the gray tabby. In a customary cat greeting, Crookshanks sidled up to McGonagall, rubbing up against her in an almost flirtatious manner. Severus and Lupin stood in horrified amusement as Granger's pet scooted behind the Transfiguration mistress. With a vicious hiss, the tabby thumped him stoutly on his squashed nose with her paw. The fluffy orange beast backed away with a puzzled expression on his face, clearly offended that he had been rejected.

As McGonagall changed back into human form, Crookshanks let out a terrified yowl and dashed out of sight. Throwing scathing looks at Severus and Lupin, McGonagall snarled, "Don't you dare breathe a word about that to anyone."

"Absolutely not," Lupin assured her, trying to keep his face sober. "Everyone is downstairs except for Harry, Ron, Hermione and Ginny; they're in Diagon Alley with Tonks and Hagrid. Dumbledore will be bringing Harry to the meeting later. And Callista still hasn't arrived. Any idea where she might be?"

McGonagall frowned. "She mentioned something about having an errand in Muggle London. She left shortly after the students did, so she should be along any moment."

Odd, thought Severus. She did not mention anything about it to me. Has she forgotten how dangerous it is to go out and not tell anyone where she is going?

No sooner had he finished the thought than the doorbell sounded. Remus undid the many wards and enchantments before opening the door. Callista quickly stepped into the foyer, hanging her traveling cloak on the coat tree near the entrance.

"We were wondering where you had gotten to," Lupin said as he greeted her warmly.

Callista laughed lightly. "You worry too much, Remus. I'm very capable, you know. Do you know if Fred and George are here yet?"

"They were downstairs in the kitchen helping Molly, last I checked," Lupin replied, giving her a curious look.

"I'll go downstairs with you, Callista," McGonagall offered, as she turned toward the door leading to the kitchen. Callista followed her, sparing Severus the briefest of glances.

He watched her go, his usual sour expression on his face. Why would she want to see Fred and George Weasley?

"Planning to lecture her later about making sure that someone knows where she is at all times?" Lupin asked as he leaned against the wall.

Severus glared at him, snapping defensively, "Why should I be concerned with her whereabouts?"

"You can drop the act, Severus," Lupin said, standing up straight. "I've been watching the two of you ever since she returned. You care more than you are willing to admit. Moody may be worried that you'll end up breaking her heart--"

"You can tell Moody to keep what remains of his nose out of my affairs!" Severus immediately turned toward the kitchen door.

"So it's true?" Lupin swiftly stepped in front of Severus, blocking his way. "You have every intention of trying to win her back?"

Severus drew his wand and pointed it at Lupin's chest. He kept his voice low and threatening. "You are one of the last people I would ever confide the details of my person life to, Lupin. In case you have forgotten, we are anything but friends."

Lupin stubbornly refused to back down. "I may not be your friend, but I am her friend. And I refuse to stand aside and watch her get hurt."

Severus had had enough of Lupin's meddling and went to sidestep him. Part of it was that he was concerned that the longer he talked to the werewolf, the more likely he was to let something slip. A mistake that he was not willing to make.

"Severus, I'm not against you being with her." Lupin's voice was sincere. "Let's try to talk like two mature, reasonable adults."

With his eyes narrowed suspiciously, Severus tried to stare down the other man. He kept his tone frosty. "There is nothing to discuss, Lupin."

"Honestly, Severus, must you be so entirely determined not to open up to anyone? I highly doubt you'll be able to win Callista's affections by snarling at her as if she was one of your students."

"I must have forgotten that you were the master of relationships," Severus ground out, "especially since the last female to throw herself at your feet was Hestia Jones' pug."

Lupin's face darkened in anger, and Severus caught a flicker of wolfish fury in those normally gentle amber eyes. He wondered briefly if it was possible for emotional distress to bring on a werewolf's transformation without the aid of the full moon. He suddenly felt far more unnerved than he would ever care to admit. He relaxed only slightly when Lupin's rapid breathing began to slow. They were soon distracted by the sound of someone running up the kitchen stairs.

"What are you two doing?" Lupin asked Fred and George as the pair stood shaking with suppressed laughter outside the kitchen door.

"Admiring Callista's rack," George said, leaning against the wall for support.

Severus felt his blood pounding in his ears once more as he moved to pin the little redheaded cretin to the wall by his throat. He stopped short as Callista appeared in the doorway, sporting a full set of antlers. The two older men couldn't help gaping at her.

"Really witty, you two. How long does the effect last?" she demanded, trying to balance the antlers.

"Only about... a minute... or so," Fred gasped, holding his sides as he slid to the floor laughing.

"Don't lie to her," George said, kicking him in the leg. "You had them for half a day, Fred."

Callista narrowed her eyes dangerously. "So help me, if I strain my neck--"

"I'll gladly massage the pain away," George promised, grinning wickedly.

"You two are impossible." She scraped the antlers against the door frame as she turned from them. She grumbled something under her breath that caused the twins to laugh even louder until a flash from her wand caused Fred's eyebrows to grow rapidly down over his face. "Is there anything else you two decided to field test?"

Fred shoved the hair out of his eyes as best he could. "Don't eat the petit fours... or the ginger newts... or those raspberry jam things. They aren't joke sweets; they just were made with salt instead of sugar. George botched 'em."

"Shame," Callista said, steadying her head with one hand. "Those are my favorite."

"I know," said George, grinning at her. "Don't let Fred fool you; he's the one who switched the canisters on me. Thought it would be a laugh to see the expressions on people's faces when they bit into them."

Callista shook her head slightly and rolled her eyes in exasperation. When she went to turn away, the antlers vanished. Callista reached up to feel the top of her head as if she was making sure they were truly gone. With a sigh of relief, she returned to the kitchen.

"While some may find your antics amusing," Severus began in a deadly tone, more furious at George for flirting with Callista than the fact that he was using Order members as guinea pigs, "I doubt that an Order meeting is an appropriate place for you to field test your merchandise."

George reached down to haul Fred to his feet, ending the hex Callista had used on his twin. "You taught us."

"In fact you were the one who made us want to succeed--"

"Inspired us even--"

"If for no other reason than to prove--"

"That we weren't a pair of dunderheads."

"We know what we're doing," Fred finished.

Severus had to grudgingly agree with them. In truth, the Weasley twins were among the most proficient potion brewers that he had ever taught. Their creativity was part of their success. That, and they weren't afraid to have an occasional explosion. Had they been a bit more serious in the classroom, they would have reminded him a bit of himself when he had been a student. With cheeky grins on their faces, the two headed down to the kitchen.

"Don't be so hard on them, Severus," Lupin said, picking at a hole in the sleeve of his jumper. "They are really very talented. Some of their products have been rather useful so far."

"Let's just hope they don't end up being used against us," Severus returned sharply, remembering their Portable Swamp that had filled a corridor last spring. With their limitless ingenuity, it was hard to tell what the Weasley twins could develop.

Downstairs was as crowded as always. Mundungus Fletcher was shuffling from group to group, trying to look important. Once or twice, Severus was sure that he saw the scruffy old pickpocket slip a goblet or silver spoon under his cloak. He didn't really care; after all, everything in this house had belonged to Black. Now it belonged to Potter, who probably wouldn't be able to comprehend the value of any of it.

Everyone began taking their places when Dumbledore made his entrance. Much to Severus's disgust, he had Potter in his wake. The boy's bright green eyes traveled over the group, daring them to challenge his right to be at the meeting. Severus allowed his eyes to bore into Potter's, forcing the little beast to look away. He knew that Dumbledore thought having him was a brilliant idea, but Severus was sure that nothing good could come of it.

Once Dumbledore sat at his place at the head of the table, there were only two places left in the room: one next to Lupin and one next to Severus. Much to his relief, Harry sat with Lupin. The only thing wrong with that seat was that now the boy would be facing him for the entire meeting. Silently, he felt someone slide into the space next to him. Callista had taken the empty seat and was gently squeezing his knee under the table.

"I don't suppose that you are going to tell me where you were today," he muttered out of the corner of his mouth, as Callista offered him some of the wine that was being passed around the room.

"Oh, I'll tell you, Severus. Just not here and not now," Callista answered softly, filling the goblet in his hand, her fingers barely touching his.

Before Severus could reply, he caught sight of Harry, staring fixedly at them from his spot next to Lupin.

People gave various reports as always, and Severus was able to authenticate some of the information that was presented. Harry asked numerous questions, all of which Dumbledore answered in far more detail than Severus personally thought was appropriate. Apparently, by the look on Molly Weasley's face, she also felt that the boy was being over-informed. There were plans for increasing the security at the school. At this point Harry pulled out a rather ratty-looking piece of parchment, tapping it with his wand. Instantly an outline began to fill the paper. It was a map of the castle!

Severus caught the names Moony, Wormtail, Padfoot and Prongs on the front. He had seen that parchment before: it was a relic of the Marauders. He had caught Potter on some late night adventure with it over three years ago--this was the same piece of parchment that had insulted him. No wonder Lupin had been so keen to take it back.

"It shows everything and everyone in the castle. At any given moment, you can see exactly where anyone is and what they are doing," Harry explained, stressing the last part of the sentence. There was no mistaking the snide tone in his voice or the look cold hatred in those green eyes as he looked up at Severus. "I hope that it will enable us to provide additional security for the school. There are several passages leading into the castle... "

The boy continued talking, but Severus was seething. He didn't dare meet Callista's eyes, but he was sure that she was thoroughly mortified by this information. Had the wretched little whelp been using it to keep an eye on them? The very thought disgusted him. There had to be a way to get the map away from the boy.

"Anyway, Professor Dumbledore, I think it's best that you keep it for now. That way you can see if someone is trying to break into the castle."

"I thank you for this, Harry," the old man said gently. "There are a few things on here that I didn't know existed. We should be able to increase the security by adding additional wards to some of our more vulnerable areas. That way, even if these passages are discovered, they will not be exploitable weaknesses."

A conceited grinned broke across the boy's face as the headmaster complimented him. Severus barely suppressed the desire to throttle Potter on the spot. He was so furious that he left the meeting immediately without even so much as a nod in Callista's direction. The last thing he saw before he ascended the stairs to the hallway was the look of triumph on Potter's face.

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Severus sat before the fire in his quarters, thinking of how he was going to face Callista after this. It had been horrible enough to have had the boy walk in on them, but the thought the boy may have been watching them on the map left him with a cold knot of repulsion in his stomach. He was startled out of his morbid thoughts by the flash of green in the fireplace as Callista Flooed into the room.

"After the Order meeting, I am rather surprised to see you here," he said coolly.

Callista looked genuinely confused. "Why wouldn't I come?"

"After Potter's little announcement, I was certain that you would rather stay away."

"Severus, what are you talking about?"

He couldn't believe that she was so obtuse. "Potter and his map! That little beast has been monitoring our... activities ever since he walked in on us. The very thought of him using that damned map to watch us sickens me. You cannot pretend that it didn't bother you."

Callista stood still for a moment. "No, I won't deny that I was utterly mortified at the prospect of him... But, Severus, that map doesn't work exactly like that. He could tell that I was in the room, but there was no way of knowing what we were doing. He couldn't 'see' us... at least not like that."

"Bloody hell, Callista! After what he had seen, even Potter, as dense as he is, could have managed to figure it out. He knows about our relationship." Severus leapt to his feet and began pacing rapidly back and forth in front of the hearth. "Not that it is much better for the headmaster to have the map in his possession."

Callista grabbed his arm, halting his movement. "Severus, did it ever occur to you that perhaps we should bring this out into the open?"

"Absolutely not! Do you have any inkling as to how much of a target you would become if that was revealed?" He couldn't believe that she had never taken that into consideration.

"Of course I do!"she shouted back. "I'm not stupid. But I could just as easily be targeted because I'm important to Harry, or for being an Order member, or even just because I'm close to Dumbledore."

He took her firmly by the shoulders, towering over her and noticing that she shrank a little bit from his touch. "If you were ever captured, the Dark Lord would use you as a test of my loyalties. Killing you is not something I would ever wish to live with."

She took hold of his hands, prying them off of her shoulders. "It may never come to that."

"What if it does?" he asked, voicing a fear that had been in the back of his mind for months. Then he lowered his voice to a threatening hiss. "Make no mistake, Callista, if I truly had no other alternative, I would kill you. "

"I know," she whispered. For several uncomfortable moments, there was nothing but the sound of their breathing. When Callista raised her eyes to his, they were filled with a look of determination. Her voice was hard, almost cold. "Then you will do your duty, Severus, and I will do mine."

May it never come to that, he thought, as he held her tightly. May it never come to that...