Come Undone

Come Undone

Mine, immaculate dream made breath and skin

I've been waiting for you

Signed, with a home tattoo,

Happy birthday to you was created for you

Can't ever keep from falling apart

At the seams

Can't I believe you're taking my heart

To pieces?

Oh, it'll take a little time,

Might take a little crime

To come undone now

We'll try to stay blind

To the hope and fear outside

Hey child, stay wilder than the wind

And blow me in to cry

Who do you need, who do you love

When you come undone

Words, playing me deja vu

Like a radio tune I swear I've heard before

Chill, is it something real

Or the magic I'm feeding off your fingers

Can't ever keep from falling apart

At the seams

Can I believe you're taking my heart

To pieces?

Lost, in a snow filled sky, we'll make it alright

To come undone now

We'll try to stay blind

To the hope and fear outside

Hey child, stay wilder than the wind

And blow me in to cry

Who do you need, who do you love

When you come undone

Don't submit to stupid rules

Be yourself and not a fool

Don't accept average habits

Open your heart and push the limits

ENIGMA

"No."

"What?"

"You heard me: I said 'no'."

The taller man turned to face his son, the anger evident on his face.

"Now listen to me Draco..."

"No Father. YOU listen to ME. I've given you my final answer and it's no. Don't try to tell me I have no choice in the whole thing. You know as well as I do that you can't pressure me into doing anything I don't want. I know too much. One word, and I'll be in Dumbledore's office so quick you won't know what's hit you."

Draco watched as his father sank down into the large leather chair, all the arrogance seeping out of him. Always having the greater presence. He now looked so small in comparison to the rest of the study. Once, Draco used to be afraid of coming into the study. It usually meant he had done something wrong. This time though, it was Lucius Malfoy who was in trouble.

Draco had known for quite some time that Voldemort's plans weren't exactly going to plan. Even he could see that after five years, Voldemort hadn't got halfway to where he wanted to be. And that was all down to one Harry Potter and his friends. With no results in sight, Voldemort was getting more and more volatile and edgy, often taking it out on his followers. And from watching the coming and goings of the Malfoy family visitors, Draco surmised that the Death Eaters were getting uneasy with their Lord's behaviour. His father's position in the Dark Lord's inner circle was getting ever more precarious as well. Draco knew that his desertion would worsen things indefinitely.

"Draco. You can't do this..." Draco shook his head, disgusted. Had it come to his father grovelling? Apparently it had. "... To get on the wrong side of Lord Voldemort is to court death."

"Thank you for that 'useful' piece of information Father but as far as I'm concerned, 'Lord' Voldemort can go and bugger off to kingdom come."

"Draco!"

"What? No offence Father, but personally I think you're backing the wrong horse here. I mean, let's review the facts: Lord Voldemort, the most feared Dark Wizard in the world, or thereabouts, hater of muggle and half-breeds, so much so, he wants to rid the world of them. But isn't there something we're not being told? That's right. Our great Lord is in fact a Mudblood himself. So that means you're running around after a... What did you once tell me? 'An inferior creature whose main purpose in life should be to be submissive to us purebloods'. That's more or less what you said isn't it Father? So technically Father, I'm only doing what you told me to do. If anything, you should be the one who's ashamed of himself for serving a Mudblood."

Warming to his topic, Draco continued. "And then there's fact number two. Evil never wins. I think five years of being at Hogwarts and Harry bloody Potter has shown me that much. Every year, there's some 'foolproof plan' to finally get rid of The-Boy-Who-Lived, which always ends up with the aforementioned plan failing abysmally and Potter ending up The-Boy-Who-Lived-To-See-Another-Day. Again. And quite handily, getting House points at the same time. Now, my Divinations skills may not be exactly great, but I have to say five years in a row is no fluke. Potter's got luck, God, or whatever on his side. And I don't think you're gonna beat that."

"And finally... Fact number three. I really cannot be bothered anymore. I used to think that by doing what you'd tell me to do, I'd make you proud. I've realised nothing I do will ever make you happy. So I'm not even going to try. All these years of being drilled with this crap about Mudbloods and Voldemort and honour and duty and so on and so forth. I don't care and I don't want this. Any of this. I don't want to be a Death Eater. I don't want to be a mindless individual with nothing better than to do than listen to the grand delusions of a snake man. I don't really know what I DO want but I know that this isn't it."

Draco sighed. There. It was all out, more or less. All the thoughts and feelings he'd been struggling with since his fourth year at Hogwarts. He couldn't remember when he had started to have second thoughts about his father's plans for him. He did know that by Christmas last year he had begun to wonder if maybe the path his father had put him on wasn't the right one for him. And after the whole debacle with Potter and the Order of the Phoenix his mind had been made up. Lucius had been not so subtly reminding him that he was fast approaching eighteen, the time when he'd finally join the Death Eaters. It was at this point in time when Draco had realised it was time for him to make his own path.

There was, of course, a fourth reason to his decision, but Draco wasn't stupid enough to go and tell his father. In some ways, this reason was bigger than the other three put together. In the end though, they were all linked. It was just that this reason meant more to him than the others, Draco realised. And he wanted to make sure that it never came out or Lucius got to hear of it. He knew that if his father ever did, chaos would ensue.

"I won't let you do this to me," snapped Lucius, his old self coming back. The older cynicism, the firm beliefs. "I've done too much to let you ruin things. I will disown you, you know. If you do this. Or worse."

Draco moved from the large bay windows he'd been standing in front of. Here he could see the magnificence of Malfoy manor. He'd always been so in awe of the place. Now it just represented everything he hated in his father. He walked towards the man he'd been afraid of since his childhood, and then crouched down so he was face to face with him. This was it. The final showdown. It was now or never. Draco wanted to make sure it was now.

"Fine. Go ahead. But if you do, I don't think Voldemort will be too happy to find out that one of his greatest 'servants' can't even convert his own son to the Dark Side. One of his most trusted servants. Terrible. And what about the rest of the wizarding world? Now wouldn't they be very interested in knowing why the 'highly regarded and respectable' Lucius Malfoy has disowned his one and only heir? I think if the truth got out someone in this room would be in great trouble. And it's not me. So no Father, I don't think you'll disown me. You need me too much. And don't you forget it. Oh, and by the way, I wouldn't try using any spells or charms on me. I made the effort to tell someone of my intentions to come and see you. Should I not return to Hogwarts in say..." he looked at his watch, "...five minutes, the Aurors will be here in an instant. Clever touch, wouldn't you say Father? I must say it's all down to you though, you taught me that. 'Always watch your back.' Well, that and always kick a dog when it's down."

"Get out." Lucius hissed, and then again slightly more loudly. "Get. Out!"

As the young blond Slytherin made his way out of the study for what he thought would be the last time he heard his father speak behind him. "And don't you ever come back here again. You hear me? Ever!"

"Oh, that's fine by me," Draco whispered, "Perfectly fine."

***

The war against Voldemort was over. And as Draco had predicted, it was Harry and Hogwarts who prevailed. The battle had been swift, fierce and undeniably brutal. Voldemort and his Death Eaters had attacked just before Harry, Ron, Hermione and the rest of the seventh year were about to take their final exams. Voldemort had assumed that Harry and the others would not live to graduate from the very school they'd been protecting for seven years. Voldemort had assumed wrong.

Knowing well in advance that an attack was imminent; preparations had been made at Hogwarts, rather stealthily, for students and teachers alike. Battle plans were drawn out, information was gathered and used, and throughout it all it was Harry who stood and organised it all. It was presumed by everyone that Harry was going to be the one to lead them into the final battle. Whether it would be to victory or death, they didn't know.

After the battle had ended, not many could recall what had happened towards the end. Contrasting reports from various witnesses had not helped either. The only thing that everyone was able to agree on was that somehow Harry had defeated Voldemort once and for all. The two had been fighting almost from the start, with neither one getting far in their endeavours. Voldemort seemed to be getting the upper hand halfway through, but somehow, Harry had managed to strike the definitive blow. And with Dumbledore's help he was able to finally rid the world of the evil Dark Lord forever.

Of the others, Ron had worked alongside his brothers, the whole Weasley clan being a formidable force to be reckoned with. Even with this power on their side, Bill and Fred were injured quite severely and were some of the more serious casualties that occurred throughout the battle.

Remus and Sirius got revenge for the deaths of their friends, Harry's parents, by tackling Peter Pettigrew almost as soon as they saw him. Making sure he'd never leave his master's side ever again, they destroyed their former friend and fellow Animagus into shreds. There was no dignity in his death and that was the way they wanted it. Lily and James' deaths had been due to his dishonour so it was in his due to be treated in the same respect. It still didn't stop the pain that both men suffered for their departed friends.

Angry Death Eaters had instantly confronted Snape as soon as they got word of his treachery. He'd been assaulted with numerous curses and had been able to deflect them at the beginning. But there were too many of them and he was getting tired trying to deflect them all, so soon he was badly injured. Thankfully, McGonagall had come to his aid, shielding him while Pomfrey tended him. In years to come, not many people would forget the sight of Snape and McGonagall working side by side. It would be the only time that they would.

The other mystery was what happened to Hermione. The last time she'd been spotted, she was running towards the Forbidden Forest with Lucius Malfoy chasing after her. Later on, she was found leaning against a tree with a badly broken arm by Ron and Neville. Three feet away from her was the lifeless body of the elder Malfoy. She didn't say a word as to what had occurred between the two of them when she was being treated in the hospital.

Once the fight was over, there were many injuries that had to be tended by Madame Pomfrey and the others back at Hogwarts. For some, such as Hermione, it was simple breaks and cuts. For others, such as Fred Weasley, things were much more serious. And as for Harry, the whole fight had taken quite a lot out of him as his utter exhaustion showed. He remained in a heavy induced sleep for four days. He woke on the fourth day with his friends surrounding him, pleased to see him well. Although Ron wasn't too happy about the idea of them still having to go through with their NEWTS.

Throughout the battle, no one noticed the absence of one Draco Malfoy.

*****

Some Aurors who, coincidentally happened to be in the same place, found him a few days later in Basingstoke. Draco was brought straight to Hogwarts, where Harry and the others had been anxiously waiting for his arrest. Draco had been one of the few who had managed to escape. Now that they had him, there was great relief all round.

When he was brought into Dumbledore's office, he was looking his smug self although a tad dishevelled. Dumbledore watched as the young man was pushed rather forcibly into a chair in front of him. Scowling, Draco shrugged off the Aurors and turned to face his Headmaster. The man who happened to hold his life in his hands.

"Well?"

"Well what?" Draco asked insolently, knowing full well what Dumbledore was asking.

"What have you got to say for yourself Malfoy?" This was Harry.

Draco paused, as if in thought. Then he spoke. "No comment."

"Do you or do you not deny you are a Death Eater?"

"No comment."

"Were you in alliance with Voldemort?"

Looking bored, Draco replied again with, "No comment." And then as an afterthought, "Am I allowed a 'lawyer'? Isn't that what I'm supposed to say? Because this whole thing is like one of those muggle 'cop shows'. You know, an interrogation."

Ron, who had been silently getting more and more angry by the minute, shot up from his seat and grabbed the blond by the collar.

"You son of a... Two of my brothers are in the hospital because of people like you and you father! One of them may not even make it. So I suggest you stop laying this for a joke and tell us the truth. Because if you don't, I swear I will hex you to hell and back. And when I'm done, I'll do it all over again. You hear me?!"

He shook Draco forcefully, who was staring back impassively. Vexed by this, Ron was about to draw his wand out when Harry rushed forward and pulled him away from the Slytherin Head Boy. Watching Malfoy finally getting his comeuppance was a delicious thought, but it wasn't what they needed right now. Pushing him into his seat next to Hermione, Harry turned round to glare at his archenemy.

"Answer the question Malfoy. If you don't, I'll let Ron do whatever he wants."

Draco rolled his eyes and moved to face the Headmaster who'd been quiet all this time. He tutted. "You know Sir, all this time you'd been prepping Potty here to face up to Voldemort I think you forgot to teach him the essentials. Like manners."

"Malfoy!" Harry again.

"Fine! You wanna hear the truth? The truth is no. No, I am not a Death Eater. No, I have never been one. And no. I was not 'in cahoots' with Voldemort. I never was."

"That's a load of crap if I ever heard Malfoy..." Ron shouted. But before he could continue he was interrupted.

"There is no need for such language Mr Weasley especially in the Headmaster's office. I would have thought all the times I have reprimanded you in my class would have got through your thick skull. It seems otherwise."

Professor Snape came limping into the office whilst holding onto the arm of Remus. He was still looking very weak and McGonagall looked shocked he'd been able to escape from Pomfrey.

"Severus... Should you be..."

He waved her concerns away. Sitting into the nearest chair, which was on the other side of Hermione, he turned to face the red-haired young man.

"I'm afraid you're going to have to channel your anger towards someone other than Mr Malfoy. He is telling the truth. " There were a few sharp intakes of breath. "He is not a Death Eater, nor has he ever been. I can vouch for this."

Irate, Harry answered back. "How do we know you're not lying to save the skin of what is obviously your favourite student?"

Draco rolled his eyes in disgust. Snape was about to say something quite heated when Remus stopped him.

"He's telling the truth Harry. Draco's not the bad guy here." Ron, who had slumped into his seat, looked at the man who he had respected ever since he first came to teach at Hogwarts four years ago.

"Not you too?"

Remus smiled sadly. "I'm not against you Ron. I'm just telling you the truth. And the truth is, Draco isn't at fault here. I was there when Draco came to see Severus about defecting. I witnessed the whole thing."

Dumbledore, who although knew all of this already, wanted to see how the whole thing would play out. He looked to his Potions Master and asked, "Severus?"

"What Remus has said is the truth. Draco came to see me around Christmas time in his sixth year. He told me he did not want to join his father in becoming a Death Eater. He also asked for protection against his father and mother should they find out, which I gave willingly. Remus was present, as he'd come for his Wolfsbane potion. We placed Draco under Veritaserum and found him to be telling the truth. Although, there were a few other things which also came to light..." He quickly glanced to his right to look at the Gryffindor Head Girl. Hermione in turn, shuffled in her chair, obviously uncomfortable. "...Since that Christmas Draco has been estranged from his family. He's been here staying with either myself or Remus."

Draco wasn't quite sure why they were telling Dumbledore this. Knowing the old wizard, he was probably already aware of it all. Hell, he probably knew when Draco first defected. As he thought this, Draco was shocked to see the Headmaster wink at him. Had he...

"Well. It looks like Mr Malfoy is in the clear. These two testimonies, added to the earlier one I had before, show Draco has done no wrong."

Harry looked at Dumbledore, aghast. "You can't be serious? After all he's done. He's..."

Draco, who had had enough, snapped back. "I'm what exactly? Evil? In case you haven't been listening Potty I'M not the bad guy here. You know, if you used that thing we call a brain, you'd remember that any evil that was around was destroyed by you a few days ago. Or have you already forgotten? So. I suggest you go and find another beating post to vent your frustrations against. Because I've had enough. Enough of you, you friends and your bloody Gryffindor righteousness."

Turning to face the old headmaster, Draco spoke more politely when he said, "Can I go now?"

"While you are in the clear Mr Malfoy..." Here Harry shot a triumphant look towards his archenemy. "...There is the question of your education." Draco smirked. "Am I to assume you do not wish to take your NEWTS? Because if you do not wish to continue, I would have to ask you to reconsider. You have been studying hard for these exams for quite some time. And should you take them, I am well aware you could gain marks as high as Miss Granger here, if not higher. There was a reason to why you were chosen as Head Boy Mr Malfoy, and it was not due to family pressure. Even though some people here..." He glanced towards the two Gryffindor boys. "...Might have been under the influence that it was the only reason you were given such an prestigious position."

Draco was glad that someone actually cared about him and his studies, although why it had to Dumbledore of all people he didn't know. He'd been thinking about it ever since the war had finished and knew what he wanted.

"If you don't mind Professor I do wish to take the NEWTS. However, I feel that due to current conditions here at Hogwarts, I think it would be best for me to take them elsewhere. I do not feel particularly eager to return to Hogwarts, especially after recent events and even more so with the existing attitudes of some of the students here. I am willing to agree on any other venue rather then here. If that is not possible, I fully understand and wish to be withdrawn from the exams forthwith."

Snape was shocked to hear his favourite student give his education up so willingly. If Draco wanted to, he could do almost anything he put his hand to. He didn't want him to lose that chance. Not like he had so long ago.

"Draco! You have spent a great deal of time preparing for these exams. To give them up now when you are so close to passing them is folly. I urge you to reconsider."

Dumbledore spoke again. "So Mr Malfoy. Are you telling me there is nothing here at Hogwarts? NOTHING that would change your mind in leaving us?"

Draco could feel a pair of chocolate brown eyes burning into his back and almost reconsidered. But it had to be done. "I'm sorry Professor Dumbledore... Professor Snape. But that's my final decision." Draco replied. "Am I allowed to go then?"

Dumbledore stared at the young blond in front of him. Draco belonged here at Hogwarts, even though he didn't believe it to be so. For where would Harry and Ron be without their arch-nemesis? And Hermione. There weren't many in the school that possessed the same level of intelligence the Gryffindor Head Girl did. They all pushed each other in many different ways they never knew. And the headmaster could tell how Draco and Hermione pushed each other. Or were they pulled towards each other? Giving a wry grin, he spoke.

"Very well then Mr Malfoy, you're free to go. We will be contacting you soon to talk about your exams. I take it you will be returning to Malfoy Manor?"

"Yes."

"If you ever change your mind..."

Looking stubborn, Draco folded his arms. "I won't. Can I..."

Dumbledore waved the Aurors forward and told them to escort the Slytherin Head Boy to his sleeping chambers where he was to pick up his belongings. Afterwards they were to lead him straight out of Hogwarts so that he could apparate home. He was to make no contact with the other students. Nodding, they waited as Draco stood and began to escort him towards the doors.

After obtaining his few personal belongings, Draco was ushered out of the Head boy's room rather hastily. Pulling his robe away from the nearest Auror, Draco glared at him before striding ahead. Just before he reached Hogwarts gates, the sound of running footsteps came up behind him. Turning round, Draco came face to face with the very flushed looking Hermione. Once she'd gotten her breath back, she began rather haltedly.

"Look... I just want to... I just wanted to say. I'm sorry you feel you have to leave. And I'm sorry about your father. I'm sure it was a hard decision to make."

Draco stared at the Gryffindor Head Girl silently for a few minutes. If there was one moment in time he never wanted to forget, it would be this one.

After what seemed like an eternity, he turned away from her and continued walking out through the gates. As Hermione watched him leave, she swore she heard him say, "Not to me it wasn't."

*****

As he began to pick up another pile of books, Draco looked around him. Here he was, back in the very room he thought he'd never return to. It felt different now his father was gone. Almost... tranquil, he thought. It certainly didn't look like it though. After his father's death, the Ministry had ransacked Malfoy Manor, practically taking everything away. Well, they'd taken all of his father's Dark Magic collection. Draco wasn't sure whether he was pleased about this or not. While he was very interested in the Dark Arts, he'd never been a fanatic like Lucius. Some of the things the Ministry had taken away had been family heirlooms too, which irritated him.

Glancing at the title of the first book in the pile, Draco grimaced. God, they HAD left the dregs of his father's well-stocked library. Who the hell was in need of "1,234 Uses for Fungus" anyway? The young blond threw the book in disgust towards a rapidly growing pile of unwanted book. He sighed. The truth of it was there wasn't much left in Malfoy Manor that Draco wanted. Except for the house itself, and Draco wasn't quite sure what to do that. It was far too big for one young man to live in by himself. His mother had gone too, struck down by an Auror as she'd tried to help her husband. She'd always been devoted to Lucius, Draco thought. Shame, it was that devotion that had killed her. He hadn't been close to his mother since she was of the same school of thought as her husband that believed children should be seen and not heard. So while Draco had respected his father for the way he went along in life, Narcissa had been someone he had the misfortune to call 'mother'. In that respect, Draco conceded that he was similar to Potter. They had both grown up without the love of their parents.

Dismayed by the sudden turn of thoughts, Draco picked up another book and began to search for the title. Strange, there wasn't one on the cover. Turning the book to its side, he was surprised to see nothing on the spine. His interest piqued, Draco opened the front cover and began to flick through the pages. Nothing. Not one single word. Interesting, he thought. Why on earth would his father keep a blank book? There was something that was niggling in the back of his brain but Draco just couldn't focus on it.

As he flicked again through the blank pages, he swore suddenly as blood began to seep from a small papercut that had appeared on his thumb. This damn book might be old and bloody useless, but it can still manage to slice through my finger pretty easily, he thought as he smeared the pooling blood onto the first page he came across in the book. He then put his thumb into his mouth and began to suck it gently. Had Draco not been busy tending to his papercut he would have seen the blood seep through the page and then rather faintly, the word 'thanks' appear and then disappear completely.

He didn't though, and once he had stop the blood flow, the former Slytherin Head Boy quickly shut the book and threw it into the 'ship off to Hogwarts' pile, which consisted of almost every book he had found.

Five minutes later Draco had already forgotten the black book, although the papercut on his thumb still smarted occasionally.

*****

Draco wondered what the hell he was doing back at Hogwarts as he walked down the all too familiar corridor that inevitably lead to the Slytherin common room. He instantly guessed he was dreaming, as there was no way in Tartarus he would have returned to that bloody hellhole, even if his life depended on it. Due to this view, Draco began to wonder whether he was about to have a nightmare.

Nearing the common room he automatically said the password 'Mea Culpa', and the painting swung open allowing him to enter. Here he was, back in the room he had spent the last seven years wondering how the hell he'd been made to put up with the dregs of society. The room was dark, but then again, much of the Slytherin quarters were. As his eyes got used to the gloominess, Draco realised there was someone in the room with him. Sitting near to the only source of warmth in the room was a figure, which from what Draco could make out looked eerily similar to that of Potter. But what the hell would Potty be doing down in the Slytherin common room, Draco wondered.

He moved forward to get a closer look but was stopped when the figure turned round to face him. Draco could see why he had first thought him to be The-Boy-Who-Lived. They both had the same black hair and slightly gaunt frame. But while Potter was all dishevelled and scruffy, the unknown figure was sleek and well groomed. He was also absent of the pieces of wire Potty wore to see.

Draco had no idea who this person was. But there was no way in hell he was going to tell him that. Sizing the youth up, he asked, "Who are you?"

Nothing. Getting frustrated and just plain angry, Draco asked again. "I said, 'who the fuck are you'?"

He glared at the figure, who stared back. Suddenly, the figure smiled.

"My name is Tom Riddle."