Unexamined Lives

CHAPTER 4

Only two more days until the Yule Ball. Afterwards, a few blessed days without classes for the Christmas break. Honestly, classes are good and important, but I do have more pressing things to think about right now!

Hermione chuckled inwardly as she caught herself formulating this thought. She would have laughed, if she had not been so tired that even the idea of moving facial muscles exhausted her. It was late, the castle was quiet, and she did not come across anyone else in the corridors as she made her way from the library back to Gryffindor tower.

She was deeply grateful to Professor McGonagall for the special dispensation to use the library after hours. The days did not seem long enough to complete all her coursework and satisfy herself as to the research she was doing, while still fitting in some social interaction to appease her friends. Not to think of the hours sleeping, eating and so on. She remembered the Time Turner fondly, but also the lesson it had taught her; you can only pull so many 30-hour days before your body collects its due.

As it was, she had not taken a single break since the trip to Hogsmeade with Ginny, and her conscience had demanded that she put in an extra hour or two a day to make up for that break. Exhaustion was a term that would have applied, oh, three days earlier. It was so much more than that now!

Hermione walked slowly, not having the energy for her usual purposeful stride. As she passed the large windows looking onto the grounds, the beauty of the snow caught her eye. Glimmering white covered every surface, each shape softened by the pure mantle, sparkling with moonlight. She had not been outside in a long time, had not had a chance to revel in the purity of the cold air, letting it wash through her, into her. It sounded like just the thing to do, right away. More refreshing to her tired body than sleep, even.

Instead of taking the stairs up to the tower, she went down into the entrance hall. Another flight of stairs, and she was rewarded by the crunching feel of snow under her boots. A few more steps, and the crisp air invigorated her, she could feel it on her scalp, over her lips, a deep breath brought the night into her lungs. Suddenly alive with cold, enveloped by the reflected moonlight.

She walked as far as the tree line bordering the way to the greenhouses. Looking at the bushes, she noticed how each twig was encased in a thin coat of ice, looking like some magical confection. Glittery, brittle, beautiful. She let herself drop back onto a mound of snow, and looked up at the stars, piercing the black sky so clearly. She laughed like a child as she waved her arms about, making a snow angel, and then just lay there, for a moment, contemplating the firmament. So beautiful, so peaceful. She felt her clothes and back getting wet from the melting snow under her, but disregarded it, since she'd only stay a little longer, just a little bit longer, enjoy the night, and then go up to bed.

# # # # # # # #

He had practiced until he could control each aspect of the charm, until he could see how each bit of magic meshed with the others to create the complete illusion. He was tired, his head ached, and his skin tingled from all the magic that had been poured upon it, like layers, time and again until he felt perfectly confident in his skill. He walked back to the castle while still going over the nuances in inflection, the subtle hand gestures that made the charm work. He cast it upon himself one more time, to make sure his control would not slip simply because part of his mind was engaged upon the act of walking.

Then he saw the dark shape on the ground ahead of him. A black slash several yards away, marring the pristine whiteness, not quite crossing the path, but far enough from the tree line to preclude it being a fallen branch. He picked up his pace, squinting against the brilliance of the moonlight reflecting off the snow.

As he approached, the edges of the shape started making sense. A person. A student, it seemed. Who would lay on the frozen ground, arms spread out, no cloak, on a cold night like this? Maybe a lovelorn first year, fancying herself some sort of tragic heroine? It sounded like just the thing many of them would do, little girls trying to act like the characters in the romantic excerpts printed in Witch Weekly. But, no, it looked too large for a first year...

Suddenly he was close enough to capture the details, and cursed out loud. His cloak came off to cover her, he gathered her up, and strode as fast as he could towards the castle, the unconscious young woman held close in his arms.

She opened her eyes briefly, her unfocused gaze went to his bright green eyes, and she smiled drowsily, once again slipping into unconsciousness.

# # # # # # # # #

"Harry..."

Hermione's dry lips barely wrapped around the name, calling it out of her dreams. Her skin felt hot, and the tightly tucked covers were drawn all the way up to her neck, which was unusual, since normally she kicked around a lot while she slept. She kept her eyes closed a little longer, half aware that there was too much light about her bed. I must have forgotten to close the curtains around it.

Her brain felt sluggish, as if it half hoped it would be allowed to sink into sleep a little longer. But the images it conjured up made no sense. The starlight, so clear and sharp, almost prickling her skin. The snow, so comfy underneath her, once the cold numbed her a bit. Being tired, so tired, morose. And then rich wool around her, warm arms lifting her, and eyes so green. Harry's? It had made sense in the dream, but in the partial unfogging of her mind, she picked up on the nagging detail her dream had been trying to convey as it replayed once and again. No glasses shielded those eyes. Dreams were strange that way.

She shook the cobwebs off her mind, the pillow off her half smothered head, and rolled onto her back. Her head throbbed, so she opened an eye cautiously to avoid the rush of light waiting to stab her poor brain. Then both eyes shot open with shock.

The infirmary? What happened? Why am I here, and how?

The throbbing behind her eyes did nothing to provide her with answers, so Hermione looked dizzily around for anyone in better shape then her. All her movement and rustling did not go unnoticed, and Madam Pomfrey approached her bed, carrying a small tray with a steaming mug of something, and a plate of what looked like toast.

"Good morning, dear! How are you feeling? Quite a fright you gave us last night. Let me just..." her tone was perfectly maternal, an even mix of concern, affection, efficiency and reproof. The woman set down the tray on the nightstand, and with a practiced motion proceeded to run her wand all along her patient's head and torso, hovering just inches above the girl. Whatever this procedure told her seemed to satisfy her, for she visibly relaxed, and fluffed Hermione's pillows.

Madam Pomfrey's brown eyes fixed on Hermione's, "So, maybe you can tell me what happened? You were unconscious, but did not seem hurt, so I simply let you rest. Have you been feeling ill?"

"No, I was tired, but not ill. I went for a walk outside, to get some fresh air, and then I don't remember much else. I don't know what happened, I think I may have fallen asleep outside. Did Harry say anything?"

"Mr. Potter? Why would he?"

"When he brought me in. I remember green eyes when he picked me up. Wasn't it him who helped me get here?"

"No, dear, Mr. Malfoy carried you here."

Not a sound escaped Hermione's lips, despite the fact that her jaw was hanging substantially lower than usual.

# # # # # # # # # #

Maybe it was for the best. Hermione had to admit, if she hadn't landed in the infirmary, she probably would have tried to keep on working at the same frenzied pace she had set herself to prepare her presentation to the Council, and would have crashed and burned anyway. It was a good thing her exhaustion had not taken the form of a nervous breakdown in the middle of an exam!

Madam Pomfrey had made sure she was barred from the library for a week, and all her homework postponed while she recovered her strength. She had been released from the infirmary that same day, but Professor McGonagall was keeping an eye on her to ensure she would not stay up too late, so Hermione had precious little to do. She would still be allowed to attend the ball, though. In fact, the Professor had strongly encouraged her to just relax and have fun.

Harry and Ron had come to meet her as she left the infirmary, and the three had returned to the tower by way of the kitchens, where they had picked up refreshments to see them through the evening. They had sat chatting and munching snacks for an hour or so, Ron had flattened her at chess twice, and then the Head of House had sent her off to bed.

She lay under the warm covers now, but having slept unusually long the night before, she was wide-awake. Hermione had mentioned to her friends that it was Malfoy who had brought her back to the castle, but she had said nothing about the green eyes. She could not be certain, after all, she had passed out in the snow, but she did not think she had imagined that piercing green color.

Malfoy. Now, she could almost dismiss the mystery of the green eyes, but the fact that Malfoy would do anything to help her was entirely out of the realm of the believable. As far as she could tell, he was more the type to pile snow on top of her, than to get his precious cloak wet by helping her.

Pondering this, she finally fell asleep, and rested uninterrupted until morning.

# # # # # # # # # #

The morning of the Yule Ball, Hermione woke up more rested than she had felt in months. The curtains around her bed slid to let the sunshine in, and an owl hooted softly as it flew past her window, laden with some message or other. Picture perfect.

As soon as she was showered and dressed, Hermione went to the Common Room to wait for Ron and Harry so they could go down to breakfast together. The boys soon joined her, carrying their broomsticks, as they were planning on a quick game of pick-up Quidditch later.

Several pieces of toast and a few good-natured taunts later, Hermione dropped by the infirmary for a final checkup. Madam Pomfrey was busy reorganizing her stock of potions, unguents and salves, but seemed satisfied that Hermione was indeed doing better for all her enforced rest.

"Dear, can I bother you with a small errand?" she asked Hermione as she was officially releasing her from her care.

"Of course, how can I help?"

"It seems I'm out of PepperUp Potion, what with so many students coming down with colds." At this, Poppy Pomfrey looked out the window with pursed lips, and directly at Ron, who was just flying by, laughing, trying to outstrip a Bludger. Her disapproval was mild but evident. "Could you go by Professor Snape's office, and ask him to brew up some more?"

"Oh, yes, I'll do that. I'll go now, then." Hermione was not particularly pleased with this task, but she figured it was best to get it done immediately. So she walked down the long corridors to the dungeons.

When she reached the heavy door, she knocked, and was immediately asked to come in. Snape was by the fire, talking to a young man she hadn't seen before. She smiled in a brief but cordial greeting, and turned to the professor, requesting the potion she needed.

"Yes, thank you, Miss Granger, I meant to brew that earlier this week, but it slipped my mind. Please keep my nephew company for a moment while I get it for you," the sallow man said, giving the younger one a meaningful look.

"My name is Arren, Arren Snape. Pleased to meet you, Miss Granger." He said as he shook her hand. His green eyes got her attention immediately.

"Yes, pleased to meet you too! But, haven't we met before? A few days ago I..."

"Oh, yes! Of course. I... didn't realize it was you! I didn't think you'd remember anything!"

"I don't really, no more than a flash. You helped me?"

"Yes, I was just arriving that day, to visit... Uncle. I saw you outside, you were unconscious, I brought you to the castle, but I didn't know my way around. I came across a boy, and asked him to tell me where the infirmary was, but he took you and helped you there instead. I came to tell Uncle I was here, as he was not expecting me. I'm glad to see you are feeling better. I should have stopped to check on you, but my uncle has kept me... busy." His green eyes seem good-humored.

Understanding dawned on Hermione. Just to make sure, she asked, "A blond boy, tall and pale?"

"Yes, friend of yours?"

Stifling what would have been a very rude comment, she said instead, "No, actually I'm surprised he helped at all. But thank you very much. I was very tired, and foolishly walked outside to clear my head. I think I fell asleep, and luckily you found me and helped me inside."

He seemed a bit put out by this, "I couldn't very well leave you out in the snow! What kind of person would I... would do that? I'm glad you were not hurt."

Hermione laughed briefly. "You actually are responsible for me getting a lot more rest than I would have allowed myself. I am working on a few things, besides studying for the NEWTs, and may have overdone things a bit. Have you taken your NEWTs yet?"

"I will this year, actually. My own schedule has become very demanding, so I understand how you'd give up sleep to study just a bit longer!"

"What school do you attend?"

"Oh, private tutors actually."

"You must miss out on all the fun then, having no classmates. I'm not the most socially active, but, well, we are having a Ball tonight..." She caught herself just as she was about to invite him, and rephrased her sentence carefully, "Will you be there?" This boy was nice, but that was no reason to seem overeager. Must be all that rest, makes me careless, she thought.

He seemed to sense the way her thoughts had shifted, though, for his eyes twinkled. "I will, yes, and maybe we can have a dance?"

It was all she could do to stop herself from shuffling her feet, as thankfully Snape returned with the potions for Madam Pomfrey, and she took those and left, her shoulders thrown back, and a smile on her lips as she said her farewells.