Our American Cousin

VI Hello Mudda, Hello Fadda 2pg 847wd

Dear Mom, Dad, Grandmas, Grandpas, and everyone else who's going to read this letter,

Well, I have arrived safe and well at Hogwarts. Send lawyers, guns, and money. Ok, it's not that bad. My only complaint so far is that it's cold, creepy, and the last recipe book to enter the kitchen was published by Gutenberg's less successful younger brother. If Mrs. Fernandez could be talked out of enough salsa to last me through the winter, I'd be forever in her debt. I'm going to be able to sleep through Transfiguration and Charms. Potions might get a little tricky. BTW, could someone please send me Zapata Bladder Pod and a sample of nearly everything else in the non- magical greenhouse? I also forgot to redirect my subscription of WSJ if that wouldn't be too much trouble.

I got myself sorted into something called Gryffindor. Mean anything to you, Mom? It seems mainly to be filled with people that have a little more bravery than common sense. I'd be amused to see Mr. Edwards get a hold of them. I'm rooming with two of the school's most ditzy gossip-mongers, but I have sort of been taken in by three others. Ron-tall skinny redhead. Hermione(sp?), an utter bookworm norm born. And a kid named Harry Potter who seems to have his own set of problems that I don't particularly want to get caught up in.

My professors look like a bunch of X-Files rejects. I'm fairly sure that I saw my Charms teacher at Comic-Con last year. There are no phones or net access in the place, or in the nearest town I'm told. I'll try to call direct if I can sneak into the closest real city. Edinburgh, I think.

Love and Kisses to all

Sara

P.S.-Dad, my secret coffee stash is behind Gray's Anatomy. There are three bags. Please send at least 2½. You can keep half a bag for yourself (Not the kona). Send it express-I'm desperate.

Sara carefully folded the paper, and addressed it for international bird post. It would probably be quicker to somehow find a regular mail box, but that seemed out of the question. Tearing out another sheet from her notebook, she began a second letter.

Dear Richard,

I'm in England now. Send lawyers, guns, and money. Ok, you can skip the lawyers, but I'm serious about the guns and money. There are too many damn secrets in this castle, and I'm sitting on a war. There's whispers of open combat by Christmas and these KIDS know nothing. I know you know people who know people who know people. Find me a contact at Hogwarts School of Wizardry and Witchcraft who can get me armed. Nearly all the student body is from Great Brittan. There's got to be at least one norm born who has links. IRA, Middle East, Eastern Bloc- I don't care.

Send anything else that might be useful. You know what I like.

L and BJ

Sara

Sara read the note, then cast a charm on it. Now, the note read like a pen pal letter. Another charm produced a cute dancing doodle on the bottom. The magic from this was just enough to hide the magic from the encoded message. Truthfully, she would have like to send just an email with a good encryption key. Sara took out another piece of paper and stared at it for a moment, wondering how much to say. Finally, she wrote:

Dear Dearest, Wonderful Nathan,

Tell me the good word. I believe our liege lord and master will assume that because he's exiled me to the other side of the planet, for reasons unknown, that I don't need to be kept in the loop. You would not believe the state of this place. The only military class they've got is Defense Against the Dark Arts, and that consists of writing papers about pixies. I've yet to find anyone I can spar hand-to-hand with, so I'm going to be in terrible condition by the time I get back. The fifth graders will be able to kick my ass.

Do you realize that they've never heard of Condesto on this side of the pond? Apparently, he only gets an occasional two line blurb in the international section of Witch Weekly. Our boy needs to get a better PR rep if his heart is truly bent on world domination.

Keep me apprised of the situation at home, and I'll send you back those Scottish toffees you like.

Sister in Arms

Sara Todacheenie

Sara took out one last piece of paper for a short message.

-C

N33D Mgk Rox. Mkt Rpt. B5eps see att. Addy.

Thx

-S

Sara smiled reading over the one line note. It wouldn't need an inscription key, since it was already practically unreadable to most of the population. It took a bit of time for Sara to work her way up to the owlery, grumbling as the stairs shifted around her. One thing NewMexMagic had going for it is that it was hard to get lost.