Christmas on the Closed Ward Continued

Returning from the Closed Ward at St. Mungo's (Mrs. Weasley only leaving after she had extracted a promise from her husband to not mess with Muggle remedies anymore), Harry, Hermione, and the Weasleys realized they had awhile to wait before dinner. The twins immediately went looking for victims and had almost convinced Harry into testing some of their sweets for their Skiving Snackboxes when they finally walked in the door. However, all other thoughts were obliterated at the sight of Sirius, who was in the hall, facing his mother's portrait (which was open and screaming) with his hands on his hips, yelling right back at her. The profanity being used by both of them was both astounding and creative. Harry's eyes widened at his godfather's vocabulary, not to mention the hand gestures he was using. Around him, Hermione gasped, Ron turned scarlet, and Fred and George looked at each other and burst out laughing. Mrs. Weasley clamped her hands over Ginny's ears, whose jaw had already dropped. Lupin shouted Sirius's name a couple of times, but it was obvious neither the portrait nor the person could hear anything other than themselves. After another minute of horrible language, which practically doubled Harry's vocabulary and gave him some good ideas for Umbridge and Snape, Lupin sighed and took out his wand.

"Silencio!"

Immediately, the sounds coming out of Sirius's mouth went dead. He kept moving his mouth, but there was no sound coming from him. His mother, however, went right on with her tirade of "Muggle-lover! Shameless blood traitor! Scum! Filth! How dare you set foot here again!" Finally, Sirius realized he couldn't speak anymore. He stopped, surprised, but when he looked over towards the door at the crowd assembled, he grinned sheepishly. Lupin stepped forward, shaking his head as he and Sirius pulled the curtains closed again.

"Honestly," Mrs. Weasley said, appalled, "such language! And to a portrait!" Sirius just grinned again and motioned to his mouth. Mrs. Weasley huffed and went off to the kitchen to start dinner. Lupin looked Sirius, trying not to smile and failing miserably.

"Are you going to behave yourself, Padfoot?" he asked, raising his wand. Sirius shrugged and tried to look innocent while Lupin muttered the counter-spell.

"Sorry about that," Sirius said, chuckling, "I didn't realize you were here and I just thought I'd try to get her to shut up for good." He motioned to the portrait.

"Those were some pretty good ideas, mate," George said, wiping his eyes.

"Can you really do that with a wand?" Fred asked, grinning. Sirius grinned back and was about to answer, but Lupin shot him a look and he just laughed instead.

"Let's get into the kitchen before we wake her up again," he said, throwing his arm around Harry's shoulders. "So, how was St. Mungo's?"

They told him about their visit while helping Mrs. Weasley get Christmas supper ready.

A couple of hours later, after the meal, Harry noticed Sirius appeared bored once again and was looking at the door like he was considering having another go at his mother. However, when he tried to stand up, he found someone had magically bound him to his chair. Harry looked beyond Sirius. In the seat next to him, Lupin was looking far too innocent. His godfather glared at the other Marauder.

"Let me go," he hissed. Lupin sipped his tea and looked at him calmly out of the corner of his eye.

"Where will you go?" the werewolf asked. Sirius glared at him harder.

"So sorry, Mother, may I be excused from the table?" he asked sarcastically. Harry, on the other side of Sirius, was trying hard not to laugh. Lupin just smiled and continued to sip his tea.

"I'm immune to your sarcasm, remember?" he said.

"And I'm a mad mass murderer, remember?" Sirius retorted. Harry snorted into his tea and Lupin smiled slyly.

"You can't use that one, Padfoot. It isn't true," he said.

"I can make it true," Sirius growled. Lupin continued to look unaffected. After moment of silence, Sirius opened his mouth but it was Lupin who spoke. Harry was now shaking from suppressed laughter.

"You know, after using this spell on Snape for seven years, I would think you'd know the counter-curse," he said thoughtfully. Sirius looked like he wanted to kick himself and got out his wand.

"I'll get you for this one, Moony," he whispered, and then muttered the counter-curse. Harry and the other people at the table were finding it harder and harder not to laugh.

"I'm trembling. Oh, and just so you know," Lupin added hastily as Sirius made to leave the room. "Molly's putting a permanent-sticking charm on the curtains over your dear old mum's portrait." Sirius stopped and gaped at him.

"Why didn't we think of that before?" he asked.

"I guess we're just getting old," Lupin replied nonchalantly. Both Harry and Ron were now turning red from lack of air. Sirius scowled.

"I am not getting old," he said.

"Are too," Lupin said.

"Am not."

"Are too." Harry doubled up with suppressed laughter.

"Am not."

"Then why is your hair white?" Lupin asked innocently. The rest of the room burst out laughing.

"WHAT?" Sirius cried. He grabbed at the ponytail at the nape of his neck. Sure enough, it was white as snow. "MOOONNY!" Laughing, Lupin scrambled away from the table as Sirius launched himself at him. The rest of the room was laughing hard as they watched the old schoolmates. Sirius raised his eyebrow when he whirled around and found Lupin facing him with a grin on his face and his wand out.

"Fine," he said, straightening up and pushing the few stray hairs out of his face. "You want to play like that, do you, Lupin?" His expression went serious and he raised his wand. He looked like he actually cared that Lupin had spelled his hair white. In fact, he looked furious. The room fell silent, with many mouths gaping open.

"Maybe I do, Black," Lupin said easily, his expression also cold. Then he smirked. "Then again, perhaps I should call you 'White' from now on, old man." Sirius narrowed his eyes and began circling away from the table. Lupin countered him. Nobody noticed Dumbledore and McGonagall quietly leave the table.

"On three then?" Sirius asked, getting into position for a Wizard's Duel. Lupin nodded gravely.

"Sirius?" Harry asked, as he got up to say something, but Sirius held up his hand. Harry sat down, looking extremely confused. They were friends, so why would they duel over something so trivial? Was Sirius that obsessed with his hair?

"One...Two..."

"Animo vasas!" they both shouted, turning towards the table at the last minute.

Harry barely had time to duck before the twin spells hit the table and started whirling into action. Immediately, all of the silverware they had been using came to life: the knives floated over people's heads, dueling with each other; the forks started walking or running all over the table, trying to cause the most chaos possible; and the spoons tried to hang themselves on random people's noses. It was obvious the spell wasn't done with just this though; soon the plates were whirling around like tops, spraying everyone with the leftover food on them. The cups soon followed this example by floating over people's heads and trying to soak them. The people who had not gone for cover when the first attack came now tried to shield themselves from the barrage of food and drink. Harry, Ron, and Hermione sought refuge under the table, observing the antic of the other people in the room. The Weasley twins had tried to grab a pair of dueling knives and now found themselves hanging on for dear life as the knives floated higher and higher above the table, still dueling. Mrs. Weasley was trying to scold the twins into coming down and dodge a cup that was intent on emptying itself onto her at the same time. Ginny was laughing hard as she watched Crookshanks chase after a couple of forks who had rescued the spoon that had tried to hang itself on his nose. But she quickly scrambled into an empty barrel as her dinner plate came whirling at her, spraying everyone with leftovers. All the while, everyone was either screaming at Sirius and Lupin, trying to get them to take the spell off, laughing at their prank, or both.

Finally, Dumbledore, who was standing in a corner with McGonagall, completely unharmed, waved his wand imperiously at the table and the utensils fell over lifeless. McGonagall copied this movement and the plates and cups also stopped and fell from the air. Harry climbed out from underneath the table to see both Lupin and Sirius rolling on the floor, laughing.

"Black! Lupin!" McGonagall shouted above them. They immediately stopped laughing and looked at her, though still with the mischievous glint in their eyes. "Will you two ever grow up?"

"What are you talking about? Padfoot is old, just look at him!" Lupin laughed. Sirius flipped his still-white ponytail at her. McGonagall seemed unimpressed.

"Lupin, you are a former teacher! What must your students think right now?" McGonagall cried, gesturing to Harry and the others who were climbing out from under the table.

"I'm thinking you've got to show us how to do that!" Fred exclaimed eagerly. George nodded enthusiastically and McGonagall sighed in despair.

"Calm down, Minerva," Dumbledore said, helping Ginny out of the barrel, "no one was hurt and it did add a little spice to our supper." His eyes twinkled at his former pupils. They grinned at him in return.

"However, I would ask you not to teach that particular spell to any of the current students here," Dumbledore continued. "I believe we have had enough mischief from this particular group as it is." His gaze fell on the Weasley twins who grinned back at him shamelessly. "There is also our High Inquisitor to be wary of." Quite a few faces fell at this, but then George seemed to finally figure something out.

"Wait a minute, Professor Lupin. Did you just call Sirius Padfoot? As in Mr. Padfoot? Of Messrs. Moony, Wormtail, Padfoot and Prongs?" he asked. Fred caught it also.

"Hold on. Moony. You're Mr. Moony!" He exclaimed, pointing at Lupin, who nodded.

"Oh wow! We're in the presence of geniuses!" George exclaimed, shaking Lupin's hand enthusiastically. Sirius did a kind of mock bow.

"Who are the others?" Fred asked eagerly.

"Prongs was my dad," Harry said, the twins turned to face him.

"No way! Wicked cool, Harry!" George exclaimed.

"Why didn't you tell us before?" Fred asked, looking like he had been denied a big treat. "We could've used their help...."

"With what?" Mrs. Weasley asked sharply, looking rather ruffled.

"Er, nothing Mum," George said.

"Oh no you don't! I don't want to hear one more word about that joke shop," Mrs. Weasley said. "Now, all of you, go get cleaned up!"

Reluctantly they obeyed, but Harry could still hear Fred and George wheedling Sirius and Lupin all the way up the stairs.

"Do you think they'll get into trouble?" Hermione whispered as they passed Mrs. Black's portrait.

"Who? Fred and George? When are they not in trouble?" Ron answered. Harry had to agree with him. All the same, it was really too bad Sirius and Lupin wouldn't be allowed to teach them that spell. He would've loved to hang a spoon on Snape's hooked nose or shower Umbridge with her own food. Harry smiled. He would just have to get back at them in another way: the D.A.

Unfortunately for Fred and George, Mrs. Weasley happened to walk in while they were interrogating Lupin and Sirius and she ordered them to do something else, not specifying just what. So, Sirius took this as an opportunity to get back some of what he was missing outside and promptly made the largest room in the house start to snow. Lupin managed to water-proof all the furniture in the room before any real damage could be done, but he couldn't stop the snow from piling up on top of it. As soon as the Weasley twins caught on to what was happening, though, they swiftly positioned one couch to face the other. Thus, the pieces of furniture quickly became forts in an all-out snowball fight between everyone who happened to come across that particular room. Various members of the Order also participated briefly, before going back to work, considerably more cheerful than when they'd came in.

The fight culminated when a stray snowball accidentally hit Mrs. Weasley and she showed just why she had been in Gryffindor. She took on both sides, using magic to make the snowballs, but just plain throwing them at everybody else. It was too late when the others finally realized just what they were dealing with and combined their efforts to bring her down. It was in vain and soon Lupin made a white flag and put it on his wand to signal their surrender. She accepted gracefully and told them all to clean up their mess before going to bed. Everyone was shocked at how the fight had ended, the Weasley children most of all.

"I'm never going to get on Mum's bad side again," declared George, who was nursing his hand (Mrs. Weasley had hit it with a snowball just as he was trying to throw one at her).

"No kidding," Fred agreed, having gotten knocked to the floor more than once by his mother's deadly aim.

"I never knew Molly had such a good arm," Lupin remarked to Sirius as they started to clean up. Sirius just nodded (he probably couldn't speak considering how many times Molly Weasley had made him eat snow).

"Did we even get a hit on her?" Harry asked Ron as they righted a fallen chair.

"I don't think so, mate," he answered wearily. "I know I didn't."

Going to sleep that night, Harry felt better than he had in a long time. He could only hope that they had as much fun next year. Maybe Dumbledore would let Sirius teach him that spell....