Second Year, Second Chances

CHAPTER THREE : On Playing Pranks and Friendship

They were crowded around an old, musty book in the Hogwarts library, seated at their usual table: a well-worn oak one that was conveniently positioned in an area that couldn’t be seen without going through the whole of the library. James had found it, and considering the amount of dust that had covered its top, it wasn’t likely that anyone had been back there for a long time. It was a very good spot for studying, too, because most noise from the main part of the library died out long before it reached the table. Not to mention that the table itself was surrounded by the section of books entitled “Ancient Languages and Relics”: a section that even the most apt of students rarely visited, as the books weren’t even remotely related to the general classroom material. Oh, sure, a few of them might have been vaguely useful for History of Magic or Defense Against the Dark Arts during some instances, but truly, none of the books had much of a point in light of the school curriculum. Sirius sometimes wondered why the books were even there to begin with, honestly.

But that wasn’t the point. The point was, their table was hidden from both view and ear-shot, which was necessary when considering the amount of trouble said boys wound up getting into. And that was only background information for the fact that, at the moment, all four boys were staring at an old and musty book with very interested expressions on their faces.

“That’s it, then,” Sirius said, nodding once to emphasize his meaning and pointing at a bit of text in the yellowed pages of the book. “Redolente aurum,” he quoted, sounding extremely satisfied with himself.

On his right, Peter sighed happily. “This is brilliant.”

“Thank you,” accepted Sirius, smirking.

“Oh, do stop with your ego, Sirius,” Remus reprimanded him from his left, the brown-haired boy rolling his golden eyes ever so slightly. Sirius glared at him, lips pursed in annoyance at his plan -- his truly brilliant plan, that he had come up with all alone -- being mocked. Remus met his gaze calmly and said, “Oh, come on, this plan wouldn’t even work unless I was, ah, providing the Nifflers, so to speak.”

“Well, yeah, but still,” Sirius objected, “it was my idea. And it is brilliant. And we’re going to get Snape in front of everyone. You have to admit that’s something.”

Remus gave a slow smile at Sirius’ statement, murmuring, “The prospect of seeing Snape humiliated in front of everyone...”

“Yeah, I know, doesn’t it give you kind of a warm, fuzzy feeling?”

Peter snickered. “Like puppies?”

The three of them broke out in laughter, making sure to keep it quiet enough to stay near the library’s stereotypical rule of silence. The fourth member of the group, however, was standing behind Sirius and staring at the large old book with a determined expression on his face, as if trying to sort the facts out in his mind.

“So,” the fourth member asked, the light from the magically lit lamp flickering off his glasses, “This will make Snape smell like gold?”

“Yep,” answered Sirius after his laughter died down.

“And the Nifflers are going to smell it and go after him?”

“Yes...,” Remus stated, raising an eyebrow at the lean boy standing behind Sirius.

The boy’s expression didn’t change, but he looked at Sirius and commented haughtily, “That’s hardly brilliant.”

“James, you git!” Sirius leapt up and tackled his friend, who had started laughing the instant Sirius’ expression became outraged. Pinning his taller friend to the ground, Sirius said, “Of course it’s brilliant! It’s going to take a lot of work, you know! Finding the spell -- which we just did -- and then putting it on Snape, convincing Professor Kettleburn to let Remus walk the dogs during lunch, choosing the right day, and a whole like of other things!” Then, frowning at the back of James’ head, Sirius muttered, “Besides, I didn’t hear any of you guys offering anything. Come on, you have to admit that it’s good.”

“Good, yes,” Remus admitted, smiling lightly at Sirius, “but not brilliant.”

“Thought you were on my side,” Sirius muttered at Remus, scowling.

“Yeah, brilliant was when we made the Slytherin table start floating,” James agreed, acting as if Sirius hadn’t spoken, and his voice muffled due to the fact that his face was pressed into his arm sleeves. “That was cool. Now let me up.”

Sirius did so, begrudgingly, but not before saying, “Still, it’ll be great.”

“Sirius is right,” Peter supported, “Snape’ll never know what hit him.”

“And he won’t know why they attacked him in the first place,” Sirius continued, nodding. “I mean, humans can’t smell gold, obviously, so no one would be able to tell if he set up or anything. And Remus is just one innocent little second-year, it’s not his fault if he can’t handle, like, ten Nifflers who suddenly decide that Snape looks like a good lunch.”

“Kettleburn might suspect something, though,” James added thoughtfully. “Make sure to act extra sweet and innocent towards him, Remus.”

Remus blinked and gave James an odd look. “Ah... no problem,” he responded, his expression implying that he was debating between ignoring the comment or smacking James. Sirius snickered into his hand, imagining Remus acting forever obsequious, and Remus shot him a light glare.

“But Kettleburn wouldn’t be able to prove anything anyway, would he?” Peter asked, his brow furrowing. “I mean, not unless he thought immediately that someone charmed Snape to smell like gold, which is a silly thought anyway...”

“I doubt anyone would jump to that conclusion,” Remus murmured, suddenly pensive.

Sirius shrugged. “And even if they did, it’s not like anyone would immediately say it was us.”

“Uh, they might suspect me,” Remus pointed out, mildly sarcastic, but Sirius waved him off.

“No, no, why would anyone suspect you?” Sirius asked. “I mean, if I was walking the Nifflers it’d be different, maybe -- hell, I’d even suspect me --, but don’t worry, Remus, barely anyone even thinks you and Peter take part in these pranks. Remember?”

Remus thought about it and then nodded in acceptance; then James mentioned, “Besides, even if Snape suspects you, it doesn’t matter. He doesn’t have any say in what goes on.”

Peter, who had been rather quiet on the opposite side of the table, grinned and added, “And Remus, you won’t even cast the charm. So even if all that stuff happens, you wouldn’t be incriminated.”

“They might think of Sirius, though,” Remus said, frowning and tapping his fingers against the wood of the desk methodically, “I mean, if they thought he took advantage of my predicament or something. To play a prank on Snape.” Then, raising an appreciative eyebrow, Remus muttered, “Which you are.”

Sirius smirked and dropped an arm around Remus’ thin shoulders. “Yeah, but it’s all for a good cause, Rem. Just remember that.”

“Remus has a point, though,” James murmured thoughtfully. “Sirius shouldn’t cast the charm, either, what with Quidditch tryouts and all that. You won’t be able to try out if you get a detention.”

“Neither would you,” countered Sirius, frowning slightly at James’ sudden reservation.

“Which means,” Remus stated, reading Sirius’ tone and interjecting before any sort of quarrel could break out, “that Peter should do it. They won’t suspect him, either. No more than they would me, in any case.”

As if on cue, all three boys turned to look at Peter, who stared back at them with an unresponsive expression. The thin-haired boy had been looking down at the Latin dictionary that was before them, and was now blinking in something akin to surprise.

“Me?” Peter asked, sounding a little reserved about the prospect. Sirius knew that Peter, while being rather good at some of the more common spells, wasn’t eager to try out new spells on his own, like James and Sirius were. Not that he was necessarily bad at them, Sirius knew, but it usually took Peter a class session of watching the teacher and imitating a few times for him to get it right. And when they did need him to learn a new spell (which, Sirius would readily admit, was a common occurrence with their group, as the teachers just weren’t teaching enough useful Charms and spells), it was usually Remus or James who helped him. Sirius just didn’t have enough patience for that kind of repetition, being someone who picked up on things almost instantly and didn’t need the extra practice. James was like him in that respect, but James also had this idea that friends always helped out friends no matter what, something that Sirius seemed to lack. And Remus, of course, was horribly, endlessly patient and would probably help until he was exhausted if Peter asked him to. Which Peter wouldn’t, because that would be way too cruel on the already sickly boy, but the point was, Remus would probably do it anyway. Which, Sirius thought, was considerably foolish of the brown-haired boy.

But! Remus’ deficiencies didn’t matter at the moment. Rather, it was Peter’s slight faults that Sirius was concerned with, and one of them was the sad fact that it took Peter a while longer to pick up on spells than the rest of them.

“Have Remus help you,” James responded promptly to Peter, snapping Sirius from his thoughts.

“Ask a teacher,” Remus said at the same time, and he and James glanced at each other.

“Won’t it seem a bit suspicious if Peter asks for help on the exact same Charm used in the prank, Remus?” James asked, one eyebrow raised as he looked at Remus with a skeptical expression on his face.

Remus smiled. “Not necessarily. If Peter asks Professor Flitwick for help with the Redolente charm, it won’t seem odd at all.”

“Oh, yeah, and everyone wants to make themselves smell like gold,” Peter muttered sarcastically, siding with James as he stared oddly at Remus.

“He doesn’t necessarily have to mention the ‘gold’ part--”

“Well, how else would he learn that part, then?” James retorted calmly, “It’s just as important.”

Remus’ smile faded slightly and his jaw set, looking vaguely annoyed. “Fine, I guess,” he replied, acquiescing. Though his voice was pleasant and his face kindly, Sirius could tell that Remus hadn’t liked being told he was wrong -- Remus was a strongly opinionated person, Sirius knew, once you got past his initial barriers --, and even though he could tell that he had been incorrect, Remus was more than likely bitter about it (though perhaps “bitter” was too strong a word. “Pissy”, maybe? Sirius wasn’t sure.)

In any case, Sirius could sense tension in the room. And he really hated tension, much more than he could ever hate any one person -- even Snape (though, Sirius knew, that could very well change, as Snape was already teetering on the edge.) So, Sirius did the one thing that he always did to relieve any sort of tension in a room, and murmured something softly under his breath.

Suddenly, with a loud “Bang!” and a rush of confetti, the three boys in front of him were covered in a interesting array of little pieces of colored paper and streamers. In the air, a glittering, floating “Surprise!” was written.

Sirius couldn’t help but laugh uproariously at the stunned expressions on his friends’ faces, and immediately collapsed to the ground, arms wrapped around his stomach as his sides began to ache from it. They had been caught completely off-guard! Splendid!

Of course, as soon as the initial bang had stopped ringing in their ears and their adrenaline had died down, Sirius was met with three very disapproving stares -- though James looked at least partially amused -- and three very loud, annoyed, “Sirius!”’s.

“Oh, great, just great,” James muttered, standing up with a long-winded sigh, glaring at Sirius (though Sirius could tell he wasn’t really upset.) “Now we have to go.”

“Go?” Sirius questioned. “Go, why?”

“Because we don’t want people finding out about this place, duh,” was James’ response as said boy stood up and trudged away from the table slowly. “Oh, well, guess I’ll go run into some bookcase to explain the bang.”

Sirius, Remus and Peter followed; Sirius ran to catch up to James and wrapped an arm around his best friend’s shoulders. “Make sure it’s not the historical section this time, will ya? Last time we did it, the book opened to a picture of a couple of hags. Ugh.”

James gave Sirius a sidelong glance, eyebrow raised in speculation. “Sirius, the book was Hogwarts: A History, and it was Helga Hufflepuff and Rowena Ravenclaw.”

“Yeah, like I said, hags,” explained Sirius, grinning. “Had nightmares for weeks afterwards.”

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It took a week, give or take a day or so. A long-suffering week, filled with homework and classes and teachers and annoying Slytherins. But in this week -- this annoying, dreadful, aggravating, downright not fun week --, the four Gryffindor second-year boys in the year of 1976 made significant progress in their most devious prank. Peter had even mastered the spell, a task that, surprisingly, only took two days of Remus teaching, James critiquing, and Sirius snapping. The latter two didn’t work as well as the former, Sirius was reluctant to admit, but in the end, the task had been completed, and with only two brief fights and hair color change, to boot! (The person who’s hair had been most unfortunately colored was James, for the record, who was forced to walk around school with red streaks in his dark hair for a day. Fortunately, nearly everyone thought this was horribly, awesomely cool, and those who didn’t kept their mouths shut, for a change. James decided he liked it and recast the spell himself, leaving him with red streaks for a month or so.)

But, in any case, it had been a long week of studying (for both class and the prank.) It had also been a very long week of very few fun encounters with friends, Sirius noted, as Peter was trying very, very hard to keep up with his work this term -- his mother had been most upset with his end of the year marks from first year, so Peter wanted to do better this time around. And what better time to start than the beginning of the school year? James, of course, had suddenly been elected to help the new first years with some stuff -- he never quite said what, exactly -- and was now rarely in the dormitory; instead, he was hanging out with Lily Evans and the other male/female representatives from their respective houses. (Sirius felt vaguely put out by it at first, but pacified himself by planting an exploding chocolate bar in James’ bag. He knew James would find it hilarious.) And Remus was busy walking the Nifflers every morning and evening, and doing homework during the times when he wasn’t walking them, and looking remarkably less tired. (Sirius had even commended him for looking less like the living dead the other day, a compliment which had been met with a very sarcastic, exasperated expression. Sirius decided that he would tell Remus he looked dead more often, if that was the expression he could get out of it.)

But while this was all very interesting, it didn’t matter that much to Sirius beyond the fact that it meant all his friends were busy. And Sirius was bored, having completed his much-too-easy homework in a fraction of the time that it would have taken Peter -- had Peter been studying in the dorm or common room like a normal person instead of hauling himself up to the library to make it look like he was being responsible.

So Peter was busy. And James was gone. And, considering that it was near five o’clock and the homework had been rather simple, Remus was most likely walking the Nifflers early so he wouldn’t have to after dinner. Dinner being in an hour, Sirius figured he had an entire hour to be bored out of his skull before one of his inordinately busy friends decided to grant him with their company.

Well, that was just great, then, wasn’t it?

Sirius groaned and slumped his head into his arms, sighing dramatically. He was seated at his desk in dorm room, having completed his last assignment about a half an hour ago. Well, technically, it wasn’t his desk -- there were two very nice desks in the room, which had been divided evenly among the four boys on the third day of school. Convinced that he wouldn’t need it, Sirius offered to share with Remus, who didn’t seem to ever leave the desk if it wasn’t for class. (He would have shared with James, but Peter was kind of messy, and even though Sirius hadn’t known Remus very well at the time, he could just tell that the thin boy was a neat freak. After all, how many other eleven-year-old boys actually folded their clothes before going to sleep? Or organized their bookbag before class? Not damned many, that was for sure. So, really, Sirius had done it as a favor for Remus, and chalked it down as his good deed for the month, leaving him free to wreak havoc until the next month’s quota. A perfect arrangement for both parties involved, if Sirius did say so himself.)

But anyway, Sirius was bored. Bored, bored, bored. Completely and utterly Bored, with a capital B. Bored. He readily admitted that he had a rather bad attention span -- his own mother, his flesh and blood, had complained about it to another family when Sirius had pushed her too her limits by wandering off during yet another shopping trip. So, really, it wasn’t that big of a secret that without something to entertain him, Sirius got bored. And, as Sirius knew James would attest to, a bored Sirius was a very dangerous Sirius. Bored-Sirius was practically the equivalent to Of-course-lighting-the-drapes-on-fire-will-be-cool-Sirius. A bored Sirius was a very bad thing indeed.

And Sirius knew this. He wasn’t stupid, despite his attention span and remarkably silly comments from time to time. He knew that when he got bored, he got extreme, and he also knew that it just wasn’t good to be radical in a school that handed out detentions as often as assignments.

Already, he had tried to alleviate his boredom. He had tried reading The Beater’s Bible, which sadly didn’t work, because he had finished it on the train and couldn’t stand reading the same thing over again so quickly. He had tried playing a few games, but most of them were two player games, and really, playing Exploding Snap solitaire was really boring, because he was the only one who’s cards exploded, so he couldn’t laugh about it. And getting ahead on homework... forget it! Sirius, despite his cleverness, was not that pathetic.

So in the end, Sirius was bored.

Bored.

Sirius groaned again and lifted his head from the desktop, blinking blearily. He really wanted something to do, something that didn’t involve him being by himself. And James would not appreciate Sirius hunting him down, because -- of course -- James was doing Very Important Things that need not be interrupted. Besides, he was hanging out with Lily, of all people, who was the one girl that truly got on Sirius’ nerves (simply because he couldn’t ignore her.) Peter was an option, Sirius knew, but the pudgy boy would want Sirius to help him, and Sirius would be damned before he became yet another surrogate teacher for Peter. He really didn’t have the forbearance to achieve such a trying task. And Remus...

Well, actually, now that Sirius thought about it, there really wasn’t anything stopping him from going to visit Remus. His thin friend was surely only walking the pups on the outskirts of the Forbidden Forest (the lucky bastard had been given permission to be near there), though Sirius hoped for their reputation’s sake that Remus was actually in the forest. It just wouldn’t do for someone to get wind of one of the very clever and devious male Gryffindor second-year’s passing up such a perfect opportunity.

And, Sirius thought, his eyes lighting up, that was just why he should go visit Remus. To make sure that his fellow prankster was upholding the traditional honor, of course. Remus was so straight-laced sometimes; it was only right for Sirius to check and see if he had truly been corrupted enough to be a honorable mischief-maker.

With that thought in mind, Sirius sprang from his chair and practically sprinted out the door and through the common room. Anyone watching probably wondered about the strangely maniacal grin on his face, but Sirius didn’t care. He had business to take care of.

It didn’t take that long to get to the edge of the Forbidden forest. Sirius knew his way around the area, of course, and even though it was still daytime, he was able to get right up to the forest’s rim without being spotted by any of the teachers (or Hagrid.) Not that he had even been in the forest, of course. Never. (if you excluded the series of dares he and James had exchanged the year before, all of which involved said forbidden area. Oh, well, he hadn’t been in the forest this year, at least.)

In any case, Sirius looked around, didn’t see Remus anywhere, and concluded that Remus was a responsible prankster and had gone into the forest with the pups. Sirius grinned; he always knew Remus was a smart one, even if he was a little too quiet and reserved at times. But that didn’t matter, because Sirius was eager to meet up with his friend; glancing quickly around to make sure that no one was around to see him, Sirius slipped behind the first few trees of the forest, reveling in the wonderfully out-of-bounds feeling it gave him. It always felt so nice to break all those silly little rules the school made.

He walked for awhile on a worn, beaten path (though how such a path existed in a forest that was forbidden to everyone, Sirius couldn’t tell) before he thought he heard something. A part of his mind warned him of danger, but Sirius brushed the thought aside -- Remus, he knew, would probably stay reasonably close to the edge of the forest, and close to Hagrid’s hut for good measure. So, logically, Remus would be somewhere near where Sirius was now, and if that was so, it was probably Remus that he was hearing.

Sirius grinned and darted off the path, heading towards the sound, which grew loud enough for Sirius to decipher the familiar yips of the Niffler pups and a few playful growls. Yes, it was most definitely Remus, unless there was a renegade band of Nifflers hiding out in the Forbidden Forest (which, Sirius thought belatedly, there very well could be, but that was beside the point.)

He grew closer to the sounds, seeing a meadow of sorts open from between the trees, and suddenly he heard Remus. His friend didn’t say anything Sirius could understand, but Sirius heard him laugh lightly, and then make a few sounds that reminded Sirius oddly of growls. Momentarily puzzled -- he had never heard Remus growl before, after all, though it did seem oddly fitting --, Sirius shrugged off the incident, chalking it up as another one of those childhood things that Sirius hadn’t been around to experience with Remus. And so, the prospect of hanging out with Remus hovering mere meters away, Sirius stepped out from behind the trees and into the meadow.

Almost instantly, the pups closest to him reared back and growled, dashing away from him. Blinking in surprise -- surely they had gotten over their silly little fear of humans by now, what with Remus watching after them every day --, Sirius stepped back a bit.

“Ah... Sirius,” came a familiar voice from his right.

Sirius grinned sheepishly and looked up at Remus, who was watching him with an odd expression on his face. “I guess they still hate me, don’t they?”

“What are you doing here?” Remus asked, still looking at Sirius with a strange mix of embarrassment, worry, and fear on his face. Sirius frowned.

“Remus, what’s wrong?”

There was no immediate answer, and Sirius noticed a healthy blush appearing on Remus’ pale cheeks. Suddenly, Sirius realized what it meant (while thinking of how interesting Remus looked when he was pink, rather than all pale and... white-ish.)

“Oh,” said Sirius with a grin, trouncing over to Remus and capping a hand on the boy’s shoulders. “Don’t worry about that whole growling thing! I thought it was funny, really.”

“You... did?” Remus asked, looking at Sirius blankly, the blush fading slightly from his cheeks. Which was a good thing, too, Sirius figured, because he looked decidedly less nervous that way. The expression he had when Sirius had greeted him reminded Sirius of when he had first met Remus: wide-eyed, nervous, and embarrassed. Not that Sirius had any idea why Remus acted as such originally -- after all, Remus was nice enough, and so were his parents, and he wasn’t really clumsy or silly or bad at school (discounting Potions, but who would hold that against him?) In any case, Sirius didn’t like that expression. It just wasn’t Remus.

“Well, yeah,” Sirius replied, shrugging. “Not funny at you or anything, but just funny. I mean, it’s not that big of a deal. When I was little, I was convinced that I could talk to birds, so it’s not like you’re alone.”

Remus blinked, his expression incredulous. Sirius smirked.

“No, seriously, I was!” Sirius began, eyes bright with anticipation of the story. “Because, see, one day -- I think I was eight or so -- this sparrow came down and sat on my arm. No provocation or anything, just sat there! And well, I was confused, so I told it to scat, and shook my arm and stuff. But the bird just turned and glared at me -- it was really freaky -- and then just flew away, all dignified and stuff. It was really cool.”

By the time Sirius had finished with his tale -- complete with hand gestures and pantomimes -- Remus was trying very hard not to smile and, Sirius noted with a bit of pride, no longer looked like a scared first-year.

“I think you just scared it, Sirius,” Remus murmured, giving in and smiling at his friend.

“Well, that’s what I was going for,” Sirius admitted, “but the bird didn’t fly away when I shouted at it. It just glared at me. And even when I moved my arm. After that, I just sat there and glared back, and then I was all like, ‘Go away, you dumb bird’ and it ruffled up it’s feathers like it was all offended. Then it snapped at me or something, and flew off. Really!”

By now, Remus was snickering into his hand, his thin shoulders shaking slightly. “Are you trying to tell me...” he giggled, “that you have an enemy bird flying around somewhere now?”

“I don’t think he liked the ‘dumb bird’ comment,” responded Sirius, nodding. “One of these days, I swear, I’m going to get a bird diving at my head or something...”

Neither one said anything after that last comment, but then, they both looked at each other and immediately broke into laughter. The Niffler pups were still shying away from Sirius, but as they noticed Remus’ ease with the dark-haired boy, they gradually grew closer. Sirius realized this abruptly, as he found himself at the scrutiny of a pair of pups.

“Um,” he began, poking Remus in the shoulder, “are they going to attack me or something?”

“I don’t think so,” answered Remus after the smaller boy had finishing laughing. “They’re not growling anymore, are they?”

“No, but maybe they’re planning a sneak attack.”

“When they’re right in front of you?”

Sirius shrugged. “They’re Nifflers. Who knows how their minds work?”

A shrug was the response Sirius received, and Remus moved forward to stroke one of the pups behind the ears. As the brown-haired boy crouched down and interacted with the Nifflers, Sirius grinned brightly, an idea budding in his mind.

“Hey, why don’t you growl at them and tell them I’m a good guy?” Sirius teased, stepping forward and prodding Remus in the back with his index finger.

Remus turned his head to smirk at Sirius, murmuring casually, “What makes you so sure I haven’t?”

“Well, you couldn’t have,” responded Sirius logically, thinking over the theory, “because I just got here. You haven’t done that weird growl thing since you saw me, and you couldn’t have done it beforehand because... you didn’t know I was here.”

Remus said nothing, but gave Sirius a comically secretive smile.

“Oh, shut up,” Sirius snapped without malice, rolling his eyes, “Don’t try acting all weird and supernatural with me; I know you.You’re just as normal as the rest of us freaks, so don’t even start.” Sirius knew that Remus was mocking him for one time last year when Sirius had gone on a mad quest to determine where Remus went all the time. Remus didn’t know that, of course; the instance the brown-haired boy was referring to was when Sirius, firmly convinced that Remus was an undercover agent for the Ministry of Magic who was stationed at Hogwarts for whatever reason, jumped Remus and demanded to know the secrets of the organization. The entire quest had basically ended with Remus clearing the matter up -- well, how would Sirius have known his mother was chronically ill? -- and Sirius feeling rather foolish.

“Bitter?” Remus questioned, smirking.

“Quite.”

“Anyway, they don’t seem to be bothered by you anymore,” Remus mentioned, gesturing towards a few brave pups who were sniffing Sirius’s hand and nuzzling his shin. “Guess they aren’t afraid of humans anymore.”

“Or maybe I’m not human,” offered Sirius inspirationally, eyes lighting up with intrigue. He turned to Remus. “You ever think about that? Like, me, for instance. What if my parents aren’t my parents or something? What if I was dropped off on their doorstep when I was a little kid, and I’m really some weird monster simply disguised as a human?”

“Wouldn’t you know by now?” mused Remus, grabbing a branch from a nearby tree and snapping it off neatly. He began to peel the bark away carefully.

“Not necessarily,” Sirius continued, “because it could be something like, I have to be a certain age to grow into my weirdness, y’know? Like, once I reach some age, I’ll suddenly grow horns and wings and breathe fire or something.”

Remus blinked. “So you’re a dragon?” He finished peeling the bark away and dropped it unceremoniously to the ground. Checking the stick for firmness beforehand, he held it out to a group of Niffler pups, and then threw it forcefully across the clearing. The pups dashed off.

“Could be. Or something else, I suppose.” Sirius jumped onto a rock and sat down, staring thoughtfully at his friend. “I wonder what year it would be that I’d transform, if I did. Probably sixteen or something; that’s always been a pretty significant number in the big scheme of things. Or seventeen.”

“Or thirteen.”

“Really?” Sirius asked, tilting his head. “I mean, I get the whole ‘unlucky’ significance, but I would think that it’d be older. I mean, if I was some scary monster who dropped my kid off to live with the humans, I’d want him to be old enough to know to get the hell away from people when he began to change. And smart enough to find me, you know?”

Remus shrugged, watching the Niffler puppies brawl loudly across the field, barking playfully. “I can understand that. But thirteen isn’t just unlucky; it has a lot of historical significance in the occult, and if we’re talking dark arts, it’s really common. Plus, when you turn thirteen, you’re officially a teenager, in human years. So thirteen would be understandable.”

“So would seven, then, right?” Sirius asked. “I mean, isn’t seven an even bigger number than thirteen, except on the side of good? Tons of religious significance and stuff.”

“I wouldn’t know,” Remus murmured slowly, as a triumphant pup came dashing back across the field, the now nearly mutilated stick sticking haphazardly out of its’ mouth. “My family isn’t very religious. Old wizarding family, y’know; the closest we get to revering anyone is Merlin.”

“Yeah, well, we’re Roman Catholic,” Sirius stated proudly, watching Remus tentatively take the mangled stick from the Niffler’s mouth and stare at it with disgust. “It’s okay, kind of boring. My Mum was brought up that way, and she made sure the rest of us were, too. Anyway, seven’s a pretty big number, so maybe that’s it.”

Remus looked over at Sirius, his golden eyes flickering in the dimming light. “You’ve already turned seven.”

“Yeah, so? That only means that I’m not a monster in human form. I can live with that, I guess.” Sirius smirked, liking the golden glimmer in Remus’ eyes. It always reminded him of fireflies in the dusk, which was cool. Vaguely, he wondered what his eyes -- a sharp, icy blue -- would remind people of. Oceans, maybe?

Remus chuckled softly, tossing the saliva-covered stick away and wiping his hand off on his robes. “Yeah, I guess. But if it was seven, then whoever it was wouldn’t have the smarts to find his home and get away.”

“True, that.”

They were quiet for awhile, listening to the growling and playful yipping of the Nifflers as they chased each other around the field. A few of them were laying down by the edge of the meadow, near Sirius and Remus, but most were moseying about aimlessly, sniffing this and that. By that time, the crickets had come out: the squeaky sound filled the area and brought a very summery feeling to the warm air.

“Hey, Sirius?” came a quiet call from Remus, who continued to stare pensively at the sky even as Sirius turned to look.

“Yeah?”

“We should probably go in. It’s going to be dark soon, and you know how it gets here.”

Sirius grinned cheekily. “Yeah. So what?”

“So Hagrid wouldn’t like it, and I promised Professor Kettleburn that I wouldn’t keep the pups out after dark.”

“Oh,” accepted Sirius, shoulders slumping slightly. He had enjoyed the brief prospect of staying out and exploring the Forbidden Forest. He had been there before, sure, but actually investigating? Never had the chance. Which was a shame, really, because it was damned interesting. “Okay, then.”

“C’mon, let’s go.”

With that, Sirius proceeded to help Remus round up the pups, so they’d -- hopefully -- get back in time to eat supper in the Great Hall with the rest of the Hogwarts occupants. If not, it didn’t matter, but -- Sirius suddenly remembered, eyebrows raising -- they still had a prank to plan, and they needed James and Peter.

__________________________

It had rained the night before, starting about an hour after Sirius and Remus snuck out of the Forbidden Forest and back into school, making it back in time to see Peter eat an entire French silk pie, and then collapse in his bed afterwards and moan the rest of the night. James had suggested going to the Hospital Wing, glancing nervously at Peter’s tinged-green face, but Sirius had denounced that suggestion, saying that Madam Pomfry would just harp at them about letting him eat all that pie. It was right about that time that Remus, staring introspectively out the window and apparently ignoring the three other boys, informed the others that it was raining.

It had even thundered, with lightning and everything; Sirius was thrilled. Peter complained that it wasn’t helping his stomach, and James winced slightly everytime thunder crashed -- ironically, the former wasn’t very afraid of storms, but the latter once had a very bad experience involving one. Something involving getting lost during one when he was little, Sirius recalled, had caused James to fear thunder and lightning.

Despite the two bums in the room complaining, Sirius had readily enjoyed the rain. So had Remus, as they both shared a fondness for the fierceness of the weather, and both had stayed up an extra hour past their usual bedtime to stare at the pouring rain and lightning. For some odd reason, they had started to talk about cheese.

“Why do you think it’s yellow?” Sirius had asked.

“Isn’t it practically rotten milk?” had been Remus’ response.

“Ugh, I’m never eating cheese again...”

And so forth.

But now it was morning, and the sun was bright and beautiful and shining in Sirius’ eyes. Said boy squinted and curled up tighter under his covers, ignoring James yelling at Remus to pass him a hairbrush. And then ignoring the following comments of James’ unruly, unmanageable hair. And trying very hard to ignore the person shaking his shoulder.

“Sirius, c’mon, it’s time to get up,” Peter was chiding, poking Sirius and sounding disgruntled. “See, I told you that you should have gone to sleep earlier, but you never listen to me, and now you’re going to be too tired to pay attention at all...”

“Like he does anyway?” James offered from across the room.

“Good point,” accepted Peter, “but still, get UP, Sirius, we have to go.”

“Bollocks to that,” muttered Sirius, though he didn’t know if Peter even heard him; his voice was muffled by a pillow.

“Sirius, you’re going to miss breakfast...” James taunted from across the room. Sirius didn’t move; unlike James, who couldn’t function without food in the morning, Sirius didn’t eat that much. That was why he was firmly convinced that James was going to be horribly fat by seventh year, while Sirius himself would look as dashing as usual.

“He’s not getting up,” whined Peter, and Sirius relaxed his shoulders as he heard Peter’s footsteps going away from his bed.

“Well, what can we do about it?” asked James. Sirius could practically envision his best friend shrugging.

Though, really, all Sirius wanted was for them to shut up so he could sleep.

“Threaten him with our homework?” Peter.

“That wouldn’t work, stupid, we have to make him WANT to get up.” James.

“Well, I might have an idea for that, actually...” Remus.

“Oh?”

“Yeah, here, follow me...”

“Well, I hope that it’s at least...”

Sirius was confused for a moment, in his dazed state, about the sudden silence, but then he accepted with with a smile. Finally, they were letting him sleep. Who bloody well CARED if he missed his first class? It wasn’t like he needed to go every day, like Peter, or he missed too much anyway to skip, like Remus and his damned mother and his damned stupid immune system. James should understand that, though. Sirius really needed to have a talk with his so-called best friend about the aspects of sleeping in late. James was too much of a perfectionist.

Sirius was just slipping back into a warm cocoon of sleep when he heard footsteps coming back into the room. He ignored them, hoping that his friends really had forgotten about him and that they were just there to get something. In fact, Sirius noted drowsily, they were being so quiet that he could ignore them very easily.

This, of course, really should have warned him of the coming danger, but Sirius was too sleepy to care.

Splash!

Cold. Wet. Not good.

Sudden wide awake and very, very wet, Sirius shot up in bed and glared at his three guilty-looking -- but laughing! -- friend. Peter was almost on the floor with laughter, and James was leaning against a bedpost trying to contain himself. Remus, still holding the bucket in which the horrendous deed had been committed, was having a time at holding back laughter enough to say something.

“I... guess that... you’re awake now,” Remus murmured, snickering into his hand, his cheeks bright red. “Oh, Merlin, Sirius, you look like a wet rat!”

This, of course, only sent them all into another fit of laughter.

Sirius just glared. He was wet. And cold. And, apparently, looking very much so like a wet rat, which truthfully isn’t the best of compliments.

Oh, yes. They were going to pay. Sirius grinned.

James noticed.

“Oh, man, Sirius, I know that grin,” James said, his laughter dying away rather suddenly and his eyes widening slightly. “C’mon, this was a joke. You wouldn’t wake up. We were saving your grade from being shot to hell, you know.”

“Why, I have no idea what you’re talking about, James,” Sirius responded innocently, which was enough to make Peter and Remus stop laughing as well and stare at him with alarmed expressions.

Peter whispered, slowly, “We’re dead, aren’t we?”

“Whatever,” Remus murmured, and the corner of his mouth quirked up. “We have something else to focus on anyway.”

They all turned to look at him.

“The weather!” Remus informed them, smiling. “This is the perfect day to get Snape. It’s going to be really nice today, and I can assure you, everyone is going to be eating outside.”

Sirius, forgetting instantly about being cold and wet and all around not in a good mood, jumped out of his bed in excitement, a wide grin on his face. “Yes! This is great. You told Old Scar Face, right?”

Remus rolled his eyes. “Yeah, I told him. Today and tomorrow, I said, so this is great timing.”

Eyes alight with excitement, James grabbed Peter and Remus by the arms. “Well, we better get started on this, then,” he said, giving his two companions a mischievous look. “I don’t know how long this spell will work--”

“Two hours,” apprised Remus quietly, as he was being dragged to the door.

“--BUT we should figure out when to cast it for the best results,” James continued, giving Remus a look. Glancing back at Sirius, James said, “Hey, Sirius, shower quick and meet us down there, ‘kay?”

“Sure!”

And then they were gone.

Sirius sat back down on his bed, smirking slightly as drips of water fell from his hair. Oh, he was excited about the Snape prank today. But if his friends thought he was the type to simply forget about revenge... heh, think again.

__________________________

“Are we in position?” whispered Sirius, huddled behind Hagrid’s woodshed.

Remus, the person to whom he was whispering, looked back at him with a raised eyebrow and held his finger to his lips. After a few moments -- in which said brown-haired boy checked to make sure Hagrid wasn’t lurking anywhere near -- Remus turned back to Sirius and replied, “More of less. From what I can see, Snape is in a very ripe position to target.”

“Beautiful,” murmured Sirius. “Simply lovely. This might just be one of the best days of my life.”

Remus regarded him with skeptical eyes. “Sirius, it’s one prank. And really not a very clever one, in the sense that it didn’t take that long to figure out. And it’s pure luck that Snape happens to be stupid enough to sit outside on the day that we pull it off. If we even do.”

“Of course we will!” Sirius gasped, being as quietly outraged as he could be. “It’s perfect. We have everything worked out completely.”

“Which, to be honest, worries me,” commented Remus. Looking around once again for any adult, Remus moved towards the niffler cages, leashes in hand -- a necessity, Professor Kettleburn insisted, when walking the little mutts around school grounds. Sirius followed as Remus continued, “Everytime we seem to have all details in order, a little voice in the back of my head just points out that something must be wrong.”

“Hearing voices now?”

“Shut up.”

Sirius smirked, then plopped a hand on Remus’ shoulder as the boy opened the niffler cage. “It matters not. Really, Remus, what could go wrong?”

“Thanks a lot, Sirius, you’ve jinxed it and everything,” Remus muttered, rolling his eyes and shrugging Sirius’ hand off his shoulder. “Now we’re going to be smited down by the Irony Gods as, oh, I don’t know, the spell doesn’t work and all that happens is us giving Snape the opportunity to insinuate that I’m a dog.”

“Hmph. Like he should talk,” Sirius snorted. Then, noticing Remus’ deadpan stare, he continued with, “Oh, please, Remus. Irony Gods or not, we have things worked out. Peter can do the spell just fine, remember? We’ve already tested it out. You just worry too much.”

“It isn’t in my nature to pull pranks,” remarked Remus offhandedly, as he clipped a leash onto a niffler standing near the fence.

Sirius paused for a moment and stared at his friend, uncomprehending. Then, sniggering, he stated, “Right. ‘Not in my nature’, huh? Give me a break, Remus. I think you’re a prankster at heart and you’re just using us to let it out.”

“Despite whatever you believe, Sirius, I maintain my position of this all being your fault,” Remus responded simply as he finished up the last few nifflers.

Sirius rolled his eyes and mocked, “Oh, sure, I can see it. ‘It’s really not my fault, Mum! It’s that nasty Sirius; he’s evil! Evil, I tell you!’”

“You’re not denying it, I see,” Remus pointed out calmly.

Sirius glared. “Bugger off, you, and let’s start this thing. Snape might decide to go inside and take a shower before we even get there.”

“Is that even a possibility?” queried Remus rhetorically, holding tightly onto the leashes as he locked the gate. “I don’t think Snape has showered since being accepted to Hogwarts.”

“Think he’s going for a record or something?”

They moved forward at a slow pace, whispering casually to each other to make it appear like Sirius was just keeping Remus company. Which, honestly, he was, but he could see James seated on the grass a bit in front of them, and Sirius was going to stop there, to ensure that people didn’t immediately assume Sirius and Remus were playing a prank. No one would suspect Remus alone just yet -- though Sirius was adamant in his quest to promote Remus’ pranking popularity --, but if Sirius was there along with him, there was no doubt at least someone would assume something. (Even when they weren’t playing pranks, people suspected such devious things out of Sirius, especially when it was both him and James together. Sirius was wonderfully proud of the reputation they had managed to build up, and only as second years, even. It was astounding.)

They reached James, who smiled. “Oi,” he drawled sarcastically.

“Git,” was Sirius’ immediate response.

“Bye,” Remus murmured as the pups pulled him away from the two boys; they had learned to accept Sirius well enough, but were still wary of most humans, so they longed to be away from both of them as soon as possible. Sirius found it amusing, but figured that the pups weren’t really human-haters, they just needed to see a person a few times before they were ready to accept him. Unless, of course, one’s name was Remus Lupin, in which case the little mutts adored oneself immediately.

“I wish we had taken the time to cast a recording charm or something,” James murmured, watching wistfully at Remus as the thin boy walked away. “If this works, it would have been worth it to keep for our kids in the future or something.”

“Or,” added Sirius pensively, “to copy and sell for a lot of money to the other kids at Hogwarts who didn’t see it.”

“That, too,” James confirmed, smiling at Sirius’ enterprising nature. “We should have researched it.”

“Egh, whatever, too late now,” was Sirius’ response, looking away from James and back at Remus, who was just about to near the Target. Fists clenching slightly in rapt anticipation -- this WAS Snape, after all, who was going to get it -- Sirius grinned almost maniacally as he whispered, “Here we go.”

Remus walked slowly, glancing around every so often at the Hogwarts students strewn across the lawn. Most of the kids looked up to see the animals walking by; a few laughed at Remus, whose small size and pallid appearance made the sight of him walking so many Nifflers almost ludicrous; while others -- mainly the younger girls -- cooed at the apparently “adorable” and “sweet” puppies. Remus, for the record, turned a bright shade of pink at all the attention, and he kept his eyes firmly planted on his hands after seeing them all staring. Unfortunately, Sirius noticed, this left Remus more or less unaware of the current interest of the mutts; with a growing pit in his stomach, Sirius watched as the lead puppies’ heads jerked upwards, smelling the faintest hint of gold in the air.

“Oh, no,” Sirius murmured, faintly; James agreed in turn.

Remus didn’t see the attention of the pups change.

So, when the entire lot of Nifflers suddenly took off towards the oddly gold-smelling Snape, Remus was caught completely off-guard; the sudden change in direction caused him to trip up and falls in the mud, where he was dragged for a good five feet before being able to untangle the ropes. The pups continued on, bounding for the unsuspecting Snape, and Remus lay, soaked in mud and dirty water, staring after them.

Sirius leaped onto his feet immediately, dashing towards his friend while at the same time quenching the urge to laugh uproariously. If such an event had happened to anyone BUT Remus -- and possibly James, and MAYBE Peter --, Sirius would have been having stomach troubles, he’d be laughing so hard. But Remus looked so sorrowful, laying on his stomach in the mud, and Sirius felt it was his duty as a friend to curb his laughter -- at least, of course, until after said brown-haired boy was cleaned up and properly reprimanded for letting embarrassment get in the way of work.

“Remus,” gasped Sirius as he reached his friend and grabbed a mud-soaked elbow, trying to help Remus up. “Are you all right?”

“Can you stand?” James added, looking worried that Remus was still laying down and currently wasn’t facing them. But soon both boys realized that the reason Remus wasn’t moving was because he was laughing too hard to do so; James and Sirius exchanged glances, confused.

“Er... Rem?” Sirius questioned, hesitantly.

“...look...,” Remus gasped, his shoulders shaking, “...at Snape...” Peals of laughter followed, and both James and Sirius turned immediately to stare at the person they had intended to get in the first place, and had since then forgotten about.

And, for the first time in his life -- most likely -- Sirius Black was left speechless, unable to even muster up a laugh. Not because it wasn’t funny, of course, but because it was truly one of the most hilarious things that he had ever seen before. Ever.

Snape was on the ground, yelling loudly -- actually, screeching would probably be a more effective word -- as the Niffler pups covered him completely. They were all barking excitedly, sniffing and clawing at Snape as they searched for the nonexistent gold, and smearing him with mud as they did so. It didn’t take long for both James and Sirius to fall to the ground with laughter alongside Remus, for the moment ignoring the giant puddle of mud beneath them. (Sirius hoped, in retrospect, that Peter was laughing just as much from his position on the other side of the grounds, despite not being with the other boys.)

They sat like that for what seemed like an hour -- but what was probably only twenty seconds, give or take -- before James suddenly gasped and sat up, his eyes wide behind his partially mud-covered glasses.

“Oh, Merlin,” he hissed, “it’s Kettleburn.”

Sirius looked up instantly and spotted the scarred man limping towards the pile of pups covering Snape, and looking almost raving mad. Despite practically being an invalid, the old man was livid and looked incredibly intimidating, even from a distance.
“Oh, bloody he--” Sirius whispered; Remus cut him off.

“I better go over there,” Remus muttered, jumping up and wiping a glob of mud from his forehead. Turning to glance at James and Sirius, his golden eyes flashing, Remus instructed, “Try to stop laughing so hard, and come to, uh, support or something. Sound worried.”

With that, Remus rushed over to the scene, looking worse for wear. After a few moments -- in which James and Sirius tried very hard not to look at Snape or each other -- both James and Sirius leapt up to join him.

They arrived just in time to hear Kettleburn snap some spell to remove the Nifflers; the pups flew off of Snape and landed behind Kettleburn in some sort of magical kennel. For a few moments, their barking increased ten-fold and drowned out any other noise, but Kettleburn solved that problem by casting a silencing charm. And then, he turned on Snape.

Sirius found it very hard to fight his laughter as he looked on the suddenly clear Snape. The greasy-haired boy was sitting on the ground, looking incredibly stunned and horrified by what had just occurred. He was covered in muddy paw-prints and had dirty water dripping from his hair, as well as a trickle of blood leaking from a scrap on his cheek where a Niffler pup has gotten a little over-excited. All in all, he looked bedraggled, which Sirius would fine very, extremely amusing no matter what situation. And even moreso knowing that he had caused it all.

“You,” seethed Kettleburn, glaring down at Snape. “Explain yourself.”

“W-what?” gaped Snape, looking at Kettleburn with an incredulous expression on his mud-streaked face. “What are you talking about? From out of nowhere those... those THINGS leapt out and--”

“Your name?” snapped Kettleburn.

“I -- Severus, sir. Severus Snape,” replied Snape, still looking as if he has no clue what was going on. “Look, I don’t know what--”

“Mister Snape, I don’t particularly care to hear your story at the moment,” hissed Kettleburn. From his position to the right of the man, Sirius winced at the insidious tone and glanced quickly at James, who shrugged slightly and winced. Kettleburn continued, “You have obviously tried to disrupt the care of MY magical creatures by instigating a riot.”

Snape stared blankly at the scarred professor in front of him. After a few seconds of hesitation, he gasped out, “WHAT?”

“Don’t try to play stupid with ME, Mister Snape!” snapped Kettleburn, “I’ve seen you harassing Mister Lupin over here for quite some time now. Bet you thought it would be funny to make the Nifflers drag him through the mud didn’t you?” Kettleburn looked over at Remus, who suddenly looked a lot less collected and a lot more miserable than he had only mere moments before. Sirius silently applauded his friend’s acting skills, because Kettleburn ate it up.

“But... wait, no, I didn’t do anything--” Snape began, collecting himself enough to stop looking so confused and start getting angry.

“Really,” commented Kettleburn, his shoulders tense. “We’ll see about that.” With that, the professor chanted a spell that Sirius recognized -- it was one that detected if a spell was being used, and what spell it was. Growing nervous himself at being found out, Sirius looked around for Peter, who he caught sight of standing fifteen feet away, behind a group of fifth-year girls. Their eyes met, and Peter shrugged, as if to say, “What can I do?” Sirius bit his lip.

“Ah, a Redolente charm,” murmured Kettleburn through thin lips. “How ironic that you are learning those in class now.”

“But I didn’t cast that!” Snape insisted, looking infuriated. “Someone else put it on me!” Suddenly, seeing Sirius and James for the first time, Snape snarled, “Potter! Black! They must have! It’s those two you want! Potter and Black!”

“Now why would Mister Potter and Mister Black want to humiliate their own FRIEND?!” Kettleburn questioned Snape lividly.

“Besides,” Sirius began, interjecting, “I was with Remus the whole morning! Rem, are you all right?” He moved over to his friend comfortingly, conveniently ignoring the quick glare Remus shot him for being patronizing. Said friend tried harder to look more humiliated and miserable while Sirius tried very hard not to snicker.

“But -- but I --”

“Come with me, Mister Snape,” Kettleburn instructed, his bushy eyebrows narrow and his eyes hot with anger. “We have a visit to pay to the head of your house.”

Kettleburn took a very muddy and very angry Snape by the shoulder and led him away slowly, due to the elder’s limp. After they were out of sight, James went over to get Peter, and the four Gryffindor second-year boys moved quickly and quietly up to their dorms. Around them, people were still talking loudly about what had happened outside, some wondering about the incident but most laughing heartily. It didn’t take long for James, Peter, Sirius, and Remus to get up to their room, though, and they closed the door behind them.

There, they looked at each other and burst out laughing.

“Oh, yeah,” Sirius gasped, laughing so hard he fell into Remus, “that was SO worth it.”