From Out of the Past Is the Future Born

Chapter Two

As Mae walked down the hallway towards Dumbledore's office at Hogwarts, she tried her best to block out all of the memories that came flooding into her mind. Memories of making friendships, breaking friendships, finding love, and losing love... and of course, all of the memories in between; those of lessons, professors, spells gone wrong, and all of the mischief that comes with being a teenager...

Mae stopped before the stone gargoyle, behind which she knew there to be the staircase leading to Dumbledore's office. She had been in that office a few times. Once when Severus' father died during their first year, once when her own father died during their fourth year, and again when her mother died during her sixth year. Then she had been summoned just before the end of her seventh year, along with James, Lily, Sirius, Remus, and Peter. That was when Dumbledore introduced the Order of the Phoenix to them, and that was when they joined.

And now, here I am, once again, Mae thought, staring at the gargoyle.

Sighing, Mae gave the password and stepped onto the spiraling staircase. At the door of Dumbledore's office, Mae raised her hand to knock, but stopped as the door opened. She stood in her place, shocked at seeing the gentleman standing before her. He was tall and lean, and had shaggy brown hair with a few traces of gray streaked throughout it. Staring into his own equally surprised blue eyes, Mae gasped as Remus Lupin grinned broadly and threw his arms around her in a tight hug.

"Oh, Merlin!" Remus gasped, still holding Mae tightly. "Dumbledore just told me you'd agreed to come, but I certainly didn't expect to see you standing on the other side of the bloody door!"

Mae, not sure whether she was more shocked at simply seeing Remus or the fact that he didn't hex her on site, closed her eyes tightly and gripped the back of his robe as tears welled up in her eyes.

Remus pulled away, still grinning, and put his hands on her shoulders to look at her. Looking down at her feet, she sobbed. Remus' smile began to fade as he watched her.

"Mae..." he began quietly. "What, did you think I've hated you all these long years?"

Gently, he lifted her chin to look her in the eyes. "I've missed you so much!" he whispered. "We all have."

Mae scoffed between sobs, tears streaming down her face. Remus smiled and pulled her close to him once again, holding her until she stopped crying.

A few hours later, Mae and Remus were walking around the grounds, Mae having already settled into her rooms.

"What is new with you, Remus?" Mae asked, staring across the lake. "The last time I heard from you, you had just started teaching here."

Remus shrugged. "More like, the last time I heard from you..."

Mae sighed. "I'm sorry, Remus -"

"Don't," Remus interrupted softly. "Don't worry about it... you're back; that's all that matters right now." Mae shrugged and smiled. Remus stuck his hands in his pockets and continued. "Well, I'm seeing someone..."

Mae looked up at him, grinning. "Really? Tell me..."

Remus laughed and turned a little red. "Well, her name is Natalie - Natalie Malfoy." When Mae looked at him curiously, raising an eyebrow, he said quickly, "But don't think anything of the last name! Yes, she's Lucius' younger sister, but she doesn't want anything to do with him and the rest of the family."

"Hmm..." Mae replied thoughtfully. "Does she know about your lycanthropy?"

Remus nodded. "We've been seeing each other for a few months now, and I told her just before the last full moon." He laughed nervously. "I had to tell her, because she wanted to go out to her cabin and have 'supper under the full moon,' her exact words."

Mae smiled. "Good thing you told her, then?"

"Yes, I think so..." Remus smiled.

Mae took a deep breath, her thoughts turning to her own problems.

"So," Mae began quietly, "Does - do the others know I'm teaching this year?"

"Others?" Remus asked, confused. "Oh, you mean Sirius, James, Lily..."

Mae nodded.

Remus nodded his head slowly. "Yes, they know that Dumbledore has asked you to teach, and Dumbledore was just finishing up letters to all of them when you got here... I would assume they know by now."

Mae stopped at the edge of the lake and sat down under a tree. "Has Sirius told Gwen?"

Remus sat beside her and replied softly, "I'm not sure... He was probably waiting until he knew for certain whether you'd be here or not."

Mae sighed and brushed her hair out of her face.

Remus looked at her and smiled. "You know, I don't remember you having your hair this short since our first year."

Mae laughed. "It's not that short." She fingered the ends of her curly hair, which sat just above her shoulders.

"Sirius is going to go mad when he sees -"

Mae looked up at Remus sharply. "When is he going to see me?"

Remus stared, looking perplexed. "Uh, well... at the Order meeting, of course," he replied cautiously. "Didn't Dumbledore tell you about it?"

"Damnit," Mae muttered. She sighed and said, "I forgot... I don't know..."

Remus put his hand on her knee and squeezed it gently.

* * * * *

Sirius sat in the kitchen of Number 12 Grimmauld Place, staring at a letter from Dumbledore.

Sirius sighed. So Mae agreed? he thought grimly. Now I have to figure out a way to tell Gwen... how is she going to take it?

Just then, Gwen came racing through the kitchen doors. A little on the shorter side, Gwen had long curly black hair and dark brown eyes. During the summer, she had freckles she had inherited from her mother, along with the curly hair.

Sirius smiled at his daughter, who ran over to him and hopped onto his lap.

"Hi Dad!" she said happily, hugging him around the neck. Holding her tightly, Sirius grinned.

"Hey, Daughter... what do you want?" he teased.

"Nothing!" she smiled at him, and then looked at the letter on the table. "What's that -"

Sirius grabbed it quickly and folded it up. "Uh, nothing, hon -"

Sirius was interrupted by the look his daughter gave him, for she was suddenly her mother, sitting upon his lap, seeing right through his cover.

"Yeah, right, Dad -" Gwen began, stopping as she noticed a look of sadness in her father's eyes. "What's wrong?" she asked quietly.

"Oh, uh, you know what? Gwen-bug, nothings wrong, I think..." Sirius replied quietly. He shifted his daughter to a more comfortable spot on his lap. "There's something I need to talk to you about..."

"Okay," Gwen replied slowly.

Sirius sighed and looked at his daughter. Tossing the letter back onto the table, Sirius began.

"Gwen, going to Hogwarts is going to be a big change in your life," he hesitated, unsure of what to say. "Up until now, you've had a pretty structured daily routine. You get up in the morning, you go to Aunt Lily's and she teaches you and Harry your reading, writing, math, history, and stuff, right?" Gwen nodded. "Then, you and Harry mess around, you come home or we eat dinner there, then you go to sleep and you do the same thing the next day, right?" Once again, Gwen nodded, looking confused. "And every day, I've been there to wake you up and put you to bed, or Aunt Lily and Uncle James -"

" - or Uncle Remus or Uncle Peter -"

Sirius smiled. "Yeah... but now that you're going away, none of us are going to be there to do that anymore." Gwen nodded. "Right, uh, damnit - crap - ah bugger... sorry, sweetie..."

Gwen shrugged. "It's okay."

Sirius gave a short laugh. "Gwen, there is something really important I need to tell you, but I'm not sure how..."

"Just say it, Dad..."

Sirius shook his head and stared past Gwen, trying to find the right words.

Finally, he looked back at Gwen, who was watching him closely. "Gwen, your - er - mother is going to be teaching you at Hogwarts..." he said quietly, watching her just as closely as she had been watching him a moment ago. She looked confused, her eyebrows narrowing. "Okay," he continued. "That's what this letter is about....[Author ID1: at Wed Aug 29 14:59:00 2007 ]" He watched her carefully as she looked away from him, staring at her toes. "Do you have any questions for me, Gwen?"

She continued to study her toes.

Trying to see her face to determine whether she was crying behind her curly locks, he asked again. "I know I probably should have given you the opportunity to ask questions a long time ago, but I was afraid.... Does that make sense? Probably not," he added quietly.

Gwen studied her toes a minute longer, then asked quietly, "What subject will she be teaching?"

"Potions."

"Oh," Gwen replied. "Am - am I going to see her before school starts?"

Sirius sighed. "I really don't know, Gwen...you see, I'm not going to push her. If she contacts us and wants to see you again before school, then we'll arrange it... I don't know what to do, sweetie, I'm sorry..."

Gwen went back to studying her toes. Sirius pulled her close and kissed the top of her head.

"She does love you, you know," he said quietly.

Gwen shrugged away from her father's embrace and stood up. "Sure," she said as she turned and walked out of the kitchen.

* * * * *

Mae was just pulling her black robe over her Muggle shirt and jeans when a knock came at the door to her room.

"Come on in!" she hollered.

Remus stuck his head in the doorway and asked, "Are you ready to go?"

Grabbing her wand and sticking it in her cloak pocket, she, replied, "As ready as I'm going to be."

Remus had come up with the idea. He and Mae had been eating supper in her rooms the night before when he brought it up. He mentioned how he was meeting with James, Lily, Sirius, and Peter at Grimmauld Place for supper the following day. After much debating and many shots of Firewhiskey, Remus had finally persuaded Mae to join him - and they weren't going to tell the others.

Remus smiled, putting his arm around Mae's shoulder's as the two walked down the hall. "You're going to be just fine, Mae."

She sighed. "I hope you're right... what if he - Sirius - doesn't recognize me?" she suddenly whispered, terrified of the thought.

Remus laughed. "How could he not recognize you? If anything, he'll recognize you by your hair, first..."

Mae laughed nervously. He loved my curly hair, Mae thought. I loved it when he ran his hands through it -

Shaking her head to rid herself of those thoughts, she sighed. Remus gave her a funny look.

"What if - what if she hates me?" Mae asked, nearly stopping in her tracks. "Gwen - what if she doesn't want to have anything to do with me?"

Remus chuckled and shook his head, pushing her along out of the Great Hall. "Mae, stop worrying about it. Everything will be fine."

Mae scoffed. "Easy for you to say," she muttered.

They continued in silence until they reached the gates, where they stopped. Mae turned to look helplessly at Remus, who waited patiently.

After a few minutes of silence, Mae finally said, "Okay, lets go now, before I back out."

"Again?" Remus teased. Mae had already 'backed out' three times since that morning.

Mae rolled her eyes, grabbed Remus' hand, and with a 'pop!' they were gone.

A split second later, they were standing on the sidewalk in front of Number 12 Grimmauld Place.

Mae remembered the letter she had received from Sirius about five years before, in which he had mentioned his mother had died and therefore Number 12 Grimmauld Place was left in his possession. He said they were going to move in and clean the place up - or 'make it suitable for human occupancy,' as he had put it.

Mae had been to Number 12 Grimmauld Place only once before, in which she and James had accompanied Sirius to retrieve some of his possessions the summer he had run away. She was shocked at the transformation the Black family house had undergone since then. The house didn't look as 'scary' as it had before. The pathway leading up to the front door was no longer lined with vicious magical plants attempting to claw at passersby. The front of the house had been repaired - shutters were no longer falling off, and the vines crawling up the brick front of the house had been trimmed.

It's actually quite lovely, she thought.

As they opened the gate and walked up to the door, Mae continued to clasp Remus' hand as tightly as she could. Remus winced slightly when they reached the door and, before knocking, he loosened Mae's grip on his hand.

"Sorry," Mae murmured, smiling weakly. Remus just smiled back at her.

Lifting up his wand, Remus tapped the door and muttered a short incantation. Mae noticed the door still had the same snake design, which came alive as she heard the door unlock.

Remus glanced at her and asked, "Are you ready?"

Mae laughed nervously and squeezed his hand in affirmation. Remus nodded and pushed the door open.

The foyer was no longer dark and dank. It was brightly lit by the same great serpent designed chandelier, but it seemed to put out twice the light as it should. But it also seemed quite empty. There were no pictures on the walls, and the only piece of furniture in there was a tall coat tree with as many limbs as an oak.

They were greeted at the door by a little house elf who introduced herself as Kit and took their cloaks.

"The master and his guests are down in the parlor, Mr. Remus and his guest," Kit said in a soft, squeaky voice, gesturing down the hall.

"Thank you, Kit," Remus said, leading Mae down the hall.

As they got closer to the parlor, Mae felt a warmth spread through her as she heard familiar voices and familiar laughs wafting down the hall. But just as suddenly as the warmth had come, an icy chill shot through her as she realized they had reached the parlor, and all too soon in her opinion.

Standing in the doorway, still clutching Remus' hand, Mae stared into the parlor. There they were: James, Lily, Sirius, and Peter, standing by the fireplace, talking merrily. Unfreezing herself from where she stood, she bolted back behind the edge of the doorway, dragging Remus along with her.

"Did they see us?" she whispered.

Remus chuckled. "No -"

"Shh!" Mae hushed him.

"But, Mae -"

"Just give me a minute!" she snapped quietly. Remus smiled and nodded.

Poking her head around the doorway slowly, she studied her old friends. Lily looked exactly as she had when she was seventeen - small and petite, and not strand of gray hair. James also looked exactly as he had when they left Hogwarts. Peter was showing signs of age, though, just like Remus. Though where Remus was tall and lean, Peter was still just barely taller than Mae and he had put on weight. His hair was thinning, and he was wearing glasses now.

Turning her attention to Sirius, Mae was surprised to see he looked nearly the same as he had the morning she left - only it seemed as though something were missing... she couldn't place it. His hair was longish, like he always used to wear it, and he still looked fit. A few inches taller than Mae, Sirius had a strong, stocky build. The only thing new was he looked like he hadn't shaved that morning, whereas he always used to make sure he was clean-shaven.

Mae jumped as Remus placed his hand under her arm, interrupting her surveying. "Are you ready, Mae?" he whispered gently.

Taking a deep breath, Mae nodded. Remus squeezed her arm reassuringly and led her into the parlor.

Lily was the first to notice her. Nearly dropping her wineglass, she set it down gently on the mantle, watching Mae. Seeing the surprised look on Lily's face, James, Sirius, and Peter turned around. The three of them stared at her, shocked at seeing her so soon and unexpected. Mae stared at the rug on the floor, studying its intricate details, waiting for someone to say something, whether it be a curse, hex, or greeting.

Breaking the awkwardness, Lily stepped around her husband and walked across the room towards Mae and Remus. Mae looked up as she heard the light footsteps, looking curiously at Lily's smiling face. Not knowing what to do or say, Mae stood there and watched her, until Lily wrapped her arms around Mae in a hug.

"Welcome home," Lily whispered in Mae's ear. Hearing those words, Mae sighed in relief.

Pulling away, Mae watched as James and Peter walked up to her as well, both with smiles on their faces.

***

There she was, standing in the doorway of his parlor, looking more scared than Sirius had ever seen her before. He watched as Lily moved beside him and crossed the floor and gave Mae a hug. Then he felt James and Peter following suite, and going to greet her as well. Sirius set his wineglass down on the mantle as he saw relief spread across Mae's beautiful face.

He watched as James kissed Mae on the cheek, hugged her tightly, picked her up, and Lily scolded him in fear of waking up his back problem. Peter politely hugged her as well. Once the greeting was done and Mae looked beyond the others to where Sirius was standing, their eyes locked.

Sirius stared into her dark brown eyes. So beautiful... those eyes... He was lost in her gaze. He barely sensed that the others had left the room, closing the door behind them. What was he going to say? What was he supposed to say? He hadn't talked to her in four years... What do you say to the woman you love - the mother or your child - who left? Just took off with what seemed like no warning at all! Though, looking back, Sirius could see plenty of warning signs... she had seemed so depressed...

My love wasn't enough to help her...

Tearing his gaze away from her, he turned his back to her and stared into the fireplace. A moment later, he heard soft, hesitant footsteps coming up behind him. She stopped a few paces behind him, but he could feel her presence.

"Hello, Sirius..." she whispered, choking back a sob.

Staring into the fire a moment longer, he turned around to face her, but refused to look her in the eyes.

"Hello..."

Mae looked around the room, searching about for words to say.

But Sirius broke the silence.

"Long time, no see, eh?" he whispered lightly, giving a small smile.

Surprised at first at his attempt to lighten the situation, Mae smiled. "Yes..."

Finally looking her in the eyes, Sirius said, "It's good to see you again, Mae."

Relief running through her once again, Mae replied, "It's good to see you, too, Sirius..."

Sirius nodded and looked away suddenly, not wanting to get lost in her eyes again. "Remus didn't mention you were coming..."

Mae smiled sheepishly. "Remus took advantage of my - er - slightly intoxicated state last night and convinced me to accompany him. He wouldn't let me back out, either."

"Did you want to come tonight?"

Mae hesitated. "I've been wanting to come back every minute since I left, Sirius," she replied quietly.

"You would have been welcome." Sirius looked her in the eyes.

His gaze brought a blush to her cheeks. She didn't know what to say. She knew 'I'm sorry' wasn't going to be enough.

Sirius sighed and looked away. "Why did it take an offer from Dumbledore for you to come back, when I had asked you to come home thousands of times?"

"I - it wasn't that simple, Sirius," Mae whispered. "Dumbledore gave me an excuse to come back -"

"And you're daughter wasn't a good enough excuse, Mae?" Sirius interrupted bitterly, glaring at the carpet.

Mae felt tears welling up in her eyes. "And you've been wondering why I haven't come back before now?"

"Yes, damnit!" Sirius yelled.

Mae closed her eyes and took a deep breath, trying to steady herself. She folded her arms across her chest to hide her shaking hands as she opened her eyes and looked directly at Sirius.

"I'm guilty," she said, her voice shaky. "I know that. I know what I did was wrong, I know I'm guilty of being a terrible mother, I know - "

"You - "

"Let me finish, damnit!" Mae yelled over Sirius. They stared at each other, tears finally falling down Mae's face. "I couldn't face her - or you. Or any of you, for that matter." She paused to wipe the tears from her face forcefully. "I wasn't ready to come back then. I wasn't ready to randomly show up on your bloody doorstep without a good explanation prepared to back me up. But Dumbledore gave me the push I needed. And I'm ready now. I'm ready to face you. I'm ready to explain to Gwen what happened. I - I'm ready, Sirius..."

Sirius watched as the tears continued to stream down Mae's face. She sat carefully in a chair and cradled her head in her hands, weeping.

Sirius suddenly felt different at the sight of Mae's breakdown. He felt the anger that had been building up over the long years melting away as a warm feeling of love replaced it. She truly meant it.

Sirius walked over to where Mae sat. Kneeling down in front of her, he pulled her hands gently away from her tear-stained face. She looked up at him hesitantly, and was shocked to see tears forming in his eyes, and a gentle smile on his face.

"Mae," he whispered. "I'm glad you're back. And - " he choked back a sob before continuing, "I forgive you."

Mae scoffed through her tears and said, "You shouldn't."

"Yes," he replied surely, "yes, I should." He paused as she watched him carefully. "You were the love of my life, Mae. I owe you that much."

Mae leaned forward into Sirius' embrace and whispered, "Thank you..."

Sirius sighed as a single tear slid down his rough cheek, and he wrapped his arms around Mae's trembling shoulders.