From Out of the Past Is the Future Born

Chapter One

...A baby crying in the background, she saw Sirius looking over at her from across the kitchen table, a look of contempt in his deep blue eyes.

"She's been crying ever since you left, Mae," he whispered.

"But I left years ago, surely she hasn't been crying that long?" she asked, tears welling up in her own eyes.

"She's been without her mother since she was three years old, why shouldn't she be crying?"

Mae stood up from the kitchen table and turned to look for her baby. When she glanced around, she was no longer in their little kitchen, but in the dungeons of Hogwarts. The baby's cries were echoing off the cold stone walls. She walked over to the door, but it was locked. Turning back to Sirius, she started crying. He wasn't there. Instead, she was looking at Severus. He was holding the crying baby - her baby.

"Here, Sev, let me take her -" she began, reaching out to her child.

But Severus continued to hold on to the child as he said, a smirk playing at his lips, "No. You gave her up."

"Please, Sev," she tried again, using her old childhood nickname for him, "let me take her. I want to hold her -" Mae began crying.

"Mae."

Mae jumped as she turned around again, hearing James' voice. She was no longer standing in the dungeons of Hogwarts, but in James' and Lily's living room, the fireplace roaring with flames.

Dropping to her knees, Mae begged, "James, please, make Severus give me Gwen! I want to hold her!"

"No," James said firmly, as Sirius, Remus, Peter, and Lily (holding little baby Harry) suddenly appeared next to him. "You left us. You decided you didn't want us anymore."

"Mae," Sirius said angrily, "you don't deserve her."

"No!" Mae sobbed, crawling along the floor towards Sirius' feet. "No, please, I'm sorry! So sorry!"

"Ms. McPhay?"

"Please, forgive me..."

"Um, Ms. McPhay?"

Jerking, Mae picked her head up from her desk and looked around. A short, plump young woman was standing nervously at the entrance to her cubicle, clutching a folded piece of parchment in her hands.

"Yes?" Mae asked, adjusting her glasses and pushing a strand of curly dark brown hair out of her eyes.

The woman stepped into the cubicle and held out the parchment. "You have a letter, ma'am."

"Oh," Mae said, taking the letter. "Thank you." The woman nodded, then turned and quickly left.

Leaning back in her chair, Mae studied the handwriting on the front of the parchment. It looked vaguely familiar, but she couldn't place it. It was addressed to Ms. Mae McPhay, British Embassy in Johannesburg.

Breaking the seal, Mae opened the letter and read.

Dear Mae,

As it so happens, I am in the area and thought it would be enjoyable to have tea together. I have a proposition for you that you might very well wish to consider.

If you could meet me at the Phoenix Inn and Pub at 7 o'clock this evening, I would be greatly thrilled to enjoy your company for the evening.

I'll be waiting!

Yours truly,

Albus Dumbledore

Staring confusedly at the signature, Mae set the letter down on her desk. Why on earth would Dumbledore want to talk to me? And out of nowhere! I haven't heard from him in years! Mae thought.

"Daydreaming again, Mae?"

Tearing her eyes away from the letter, Mae looked up and saw Drake Shockley, a friend and colleague, standing in the doorway to her cubicle.

She smiled and gestured at the letter, unsure of what to say.

He walked in and sat on the edge of her desk, looking at the letter.

"Albus Dumbledore, eh?" he asked, surprised. "So you have a hot date, tonight, huh?"

"Shut up," Mae muttered, shoving him off her desk. "It's really odd, I haven't heard from him in years."

"Why would he be contacting you?" Drake asked, rubbing his forehead.

Mae shrugged. "I'm wondering that myself." Just then, she noticed Drake seemed to be trying to hold back a laugh. "What?"

He shook his head quickly, still trying not to smile. She glared at him.

Not being able to hold it back any longer, Drake started laughing and pointing at her forehead.

Asking between laughs, he said, "You haven't been sleeping on your reports again, have you?"

Mae sighed and dug a tiny mirror out of the very back of her bottom desk drawer. Shaking her head lightly, she saw black ink smeared across her forehead.

"Lovely," she muttered. "No wonder that poor young woman that delivered my post positively fled after delivering the letter..."

"Here," Drake said gently, having stopped laughing. "Allow me." He pulled a handkerchief out of his robe pocket and wiped her forehead gently, his face inches from hers.

As she realized the closeness of their proximity, she pushed back her chair and grabbed her wand off of her desk. "No sense in washing that off the hard way, Drake," she muttered. One twitch of her wand and the ink was gone from her forehead. Drake shifted uncomfortably as he stuffed his handkerchief back into his pocket.

"Well, I'm going to get back to work, Mae," he said distractedly.

"Oh," Mae said, glancing at the clock on her desk. It was 5 o'clock. "Are you working late tonight?"

"Yeah, I've got a report to finish up by tomorrow..."

"Well, I'm sorry," she said as she stood up. "I'll see you tomorrow, then?"

"As always," Drake replied, smiling. He gave a small wave and walked back down the aisle to his own little cubicle.

Mae shook her head as she put her papers in their prospective files, grabbed her letter from Dumbledore, and left her cubicle.

Drake Shockley was one of the few friends she had in South Africa. They met the first day Mae started work at the British Embassy, and he had shown her the ropes, introduced her to people, and gave her a tour around town. After that, they spent time together during their lunch breaks and occasionally went out for dinner. They both shared a love of Quidditch and mystery novels, so they always had plenty to talk about.

But it wasn't until recently that Mae began to notice a change in Drake's behavior when he was around her. It had almost seemed like he was flirting, and it scared her. Not that Drake was a scary man or anything. He was kind, had an excellent sense of humor, and was quite good looking. He was a tall, lean, black man with long, dreaded hair and a scruffy goatee. In fact, Mae found him quite attractive. What made her afraid was that if the two of them were to become more than simply friends, and something went wrong, she might lose the only friend she had left.

Plus, she would have to eventually go into more detail about her past than she wanted to. She would have to tell him so many things... she would probably scare him away... after all, it had happened before.

* * * * *

Stepping into the smoky, crowded pub, Mae glanced around for Dumbledore. Not seeing him right away, she walked over to the bartender and asked for him.

"Ah, right this way, Ms. McPhay," the short, stout, bearded bartender replied, walking briskly down a hallway toward the suites.

After knocking on the door, Mae heard a deep voice from inside call, "Come in!"

"After you, Miss," the bartender said, opening the door for her.

Dumbledore was standing at the fireplace when Mae walked in, followed by the old bartender. Turning around as Mae entered the room, Dumbledore smiled and held his arms out in greeting.

"Mae! How wonderful you could join me this evening!" he said, crossing the room. Shaking hands, Dumbledore looked past Mae to the bartender and said, "That will be all, Henry, thank you."

As the bartender walked out and shut the door quietly behind him, Dumbledore gestured for Mae to take a seat.

"So, my dear, it has been a long time, hasn't it?" Dumbledore asked, watching as the teapot poured two cups of tea for its guests.

"Yes, it has," Mae replied. "Which is why I was so surprised to receive your invitation earlier. And at such short notice."

"Ah, yes, my apologies, Mae," Dumbledore said. "My trip here was actually quite last minute itself."

"What came up, if you don't mind me asking?" Mae asked, taking a sip of her tea.

Dumbledore smiled, his eyes twinkling. "Well, you will recall I mentioned a proposition?"

"Uh, yes," Mae replied, hesitantly.

"It seems that I am once again short one staff member," Dumbledore began. "Professor Kirke has retired from his position as Defense Against the Dark Arts Professor."

Mae set her teacup down gently on the table between them. Surprised, she asked, "Are you asking me to teach Defense Against the Dark Arts?"

Dumbledore chuckled. "Well, not exactly. You see, I have another staff member who has requested to be switched from his original position to the Defense Against the Dark Arts position, which I have granted. So now I am in need of a Potions instructor - and as I recall, you greatly enjoyed Potions in Hogwarts, am I correct?"

Mae sat, stunned at the thought that Dumbledore had decided to ask her to teach at Hogwarts. And Potions at that!

"Sir, I -" Mae stammered. "I - well, when do you need to know by?"

"Well, my dear, that's the thing," he replied, his eyes twinkling. "I need to know by tomorrow."

"Tomorrow?!" Mae repeated in shock. How could she make a choice that soon? It would require quitting her job at the Embassy - one she couldn't stand, that is - moving back to Britain...a move that would surely bring her to encounter old memories...

"Wait!" Mae muttered, a thought forming in her mind. "Who is the new Defense Against the Dark Arts teacher?"

Dumbledore thought a moment before answering. Then, "Ah, yes, I was wondering if that might come up. You know him, of course. Your cousin Severus is teaching at Hogwarts. Did you not know that?"

Mae sighed. No, I can't work there with him... Mae thought.

"But since we're on the subject, you might like to know that Remus Lupin is teaching Transfiguration, since poor Minerva McGonagall's murder..."

Mae looked up sharply. Dumbledore was watching her closely. He knew he could corner me into this... he's tricked me...

"What makes you think I would want this job, Albus?" Mae asked defiantly.

"Well, Mae, I wasn't entirely sure you would want this job," Dumbledore began, his smiling fading a little. "You see, I need you at Hogwarts, Mae."

Surprised, Mae asked, "Why?"

Dumbledore sighed. "You will recall the Order of the Phoenix?"

Mae stared at Dumbledore a moment before the realization struck her. Shocked, she set her teacup down shakily.

"I have received information," Dumbledore began quietly, "that Voldemort may be coming out of hiding, for reasons nobody is quite sure of yet. I come to you with this offer, Mae, because you were in the Order. And, technically, you still are." He paused a moment, watching Mae stare at her hands folded in her lap. "One of the theories we have come up with as to why Voldemort may choose now to come out of hiding after eight years, is that Harry, along with your own Gwendolyn, are starting Hogwarts this year."

Even more shocked at the mention of her daughter, Mae looked up at Dumbledore. "How could you possibly expect me to teach when - when Gwen is - she's going to hate me..."

"Mae, I'll say this once again. I need you there. I need another member of the Order at Hogwarts, someone I can trust. Plus, I know it would make James, Lily, and Sirius more comfortable knowing you are there watching over Harry and Gwen -"

"How can that possibly make them feel better?" Mae muttered. "I abandoned them, how could they possibly trust me?"

Dumbledore smiled reassuringly. "You're Gwen's mother," he replied simply. "And Harry's godmother. And there is a bond between mother and daughter that very rarely fails." He paused. "You can do this Mae. I know you can."

Mae shook her head, clutching the sleeve of her robe.

"Do it for Gwen."

Mae looked up. Dumbledore was watching her with his twinkling eyes.

"Fine," she whispered. "I'll do it..."

Dumbledore nodded happily and poured more tea. "Good, good. I have a few papers for you to sign and then we will be all set." He pulled out his wand and with a small wave a few pieces of parchment and a quill appeared on the table before her.

As Mae reached for the quill, Dumbledore grabbed her hand.

"It will be difficult at first, but everything will work out, Mae..."

* * * * *

"Dad?"

James Potter looked up from the Daily Prophet to see his son staring into the fireplace, his Hogwarts letter laying on his lap.

"Yes, Harry?"

"What...er, what happened to Gwen's mum?" Looking away from the fire, Harry looked curiously at his father.

"Blimey, Harry," James sighed, folding up his paper. "You've managed to catch me off guard with that..." He pushed his glasses up his nose, then folded his hands in his lap. "Why do you ask, son?"

Harry shrugged. "I don't know..." He picked up his letter, folded it back up and stuck it back into its envelope.

"I guess I'm just asking because I've never really heard much about her...I know she was my godmother and that you all knew each other at Hogwarts, but...that's about it."

James sat in his chair listening to his son, not knowing what to say. He had known Mae since he was five years old. It still hurt to think about her after nearly eight years... he still couldn't believe she'd left...

James looked up to see Harry watching him expectantly. I guess I can tell him some things, he thought grimly. I don't think he'll understand, though...

"It's - complicated, Harry..."

"Try me?"

James sighed again and ran his hand through his hair, an old habit that had driven his friends - especially Mae, he thought - insane at Hogwarts. He smiled grimly.

"I guess," he started, "Mae just couldn't handle the whole mother and wife thing... I mean - Mae and Sirius weren't married when Gwen was born... Engaged, but they never got around to getting married..." He looked up to see Harry's eyebrows go back down from where they had nearly vanished into his unruly black hair. "They had a wedding day set and everything, but Mae left a week before it..." He paused, not knowing whether he should go on or not. "Sirius and I had known Mae since we were five and Mae became one of our best friends. Of course, we went through phases where we didn't hang out as much because she was a girl, but that is how we met your mum... Then, the end of seventh year came along, and Mae and Sirius started dating... They broke up for a while after Hogwarts, but I'm not going to get into that right now - maybe when you're older - but they got back together, got engaged, Mae got pregnant, Gwen was born... She left three years later..." James took a deep breath, then looked up to see Harry playing with the envelope. "I think I said too much, Harry -"

"Why?"

James blinked. "Why what -"

"Why did she leave?" Harry stared at his father, those green eyes boring into his own hazel ones.

James gave a slight shrug. "I don't honestly know, Harry..." Okay, time to shut your mouth, Prongs. "You know, Harry, I think I've gone and said too much. But before I go off to make sure your mum hasn't burnt down the kitchen, I will tell you this." James leaned forward, looking at his son. "Mae loved Sirius and Gwen. I know she did. And I think that might have something to do with why she left, which is something I doubt you'll understand until you're older." James stood up and dropped his paper onto the coffee table. "And one more thing. No matter what it may seem like, Harry, I don't hold any grudges against Mae, and neither does Sirius.... What she did may not have been right, but she's still our friend."

With that said, James turned and headed down the hall towards the kitchen where Lily was making dinner.

James hadn't really thought about Mae in a while. Last he had known, she was somewhere in South Africa, working for the British Embassy. For a while, though, James had half expected to walk into work one day and see Mae signing up to finish her Auror training. But he never saw her.

As he got closer to the kitchen doorway, the aroma of delicious roast pork filled his nostrils, pushing the thought of his old friend to the back of his mind. Lily was standing at the sink washing dishes, her long auburn hair pulled back neatly from her face. James sneaked up behind her and wrapped his arms around her waist.

"Hello, my lovely wife," he said. Putting his lips to her neck, he whispered, "You smell delicious..."

"It's your supper you smell, you dolt," Lily whispered back playfully. "I need to take a shower before everyone gets here." She picked her wand up off the counter and with a tiny flick all of the dishes and silverware flew into their respective places.

"Need any help?" he whispered. Turning around to face her husband, Lily put her hands on his shoulders and fixed her 'not now' look on him.

"Ah, you are so sexy when you cook..." James leaned in to give her a kiss.

"Mmm, am I?" she muttered. "Suck-up."

Pulling away a moment later, Lily said, "It's five-thirty. They're supposed to be here at six. Dinner is at six-thirty. If they get here before I'm out of the shower -" Lily paused, rolled her eyes, then said, "What am I talking about? Just keep Sirius out of the food, you know the routine." As she started off towards the stairs, James lightly slapped her rear.

"I love you!" he called after her.

Lily grinned at him over her shoulder, then continued up the stairs.

Twenty minutes later, Lily came back downstairs, dressed in some jeans and a nice short-sleeved shirt. Her long auburn hair was loose around her shoulders. Lily had always preferred Muggle clothing to robes, and it had rubbed off on her husband and son. Even though robes were still worn to work and school, spare time called for jeans and t-shirts.

A knock on the door had signaled the arrival of one of their guests.

"James, go let them in!" Lily called from the kitchen.

James headed towards the door, fixing his glasses as he went, but was beat to it by Harry. He jerked the door open and began to say, "You know you two don't have to knock, Sirius!"

"Well, I felt like being polite for some reason!" Sirius grinned at his godson, but was pushed aside by his daughter, Gwendolyn.

"Hi Harry!"

"Hey!" Harry grinned. "Did you bring your broom?"

Gwen held up her broom. "Of course I did!"

"Great! Come on!" And the two took off towards the back yard.

"Hey!" James called after them. "Dinner is at six-thirty, so don't get all dirty!"

"You're a poet, Prongs," Sirius teased, clasping James on the shoulder. Gesturing at the two eleven year olds now flying around on their brooms, he said, "Ah don't worry about it, James." Sirius closed the door behind him. "If they get too dirty they can eat out back - ow!"

Once again, the front door had opened, hitting Sirius in the shoulder.

"Hello - oh, sorry about that, Sirius." James and Sirius moved back away from the door to allow Remus to open the door further.

"Hey, Moony!" James said, shaking hands with him as a young woman with wavy blonde hair followed Remus in, shutting the door quietly behind her.

Placing his hand on the small of her back, Remus said, "James, Sirius, this is Natalie."

James stuck his hand out and introduced himself. Sirius took her hand, kissed it lightly, and said, "It is a pleasure to meet you, Natalie. Remus here has told us so much about you..."

She smiled, but raised an eyebrow delicately. "Oh, has he?"

Sirius gave a sheepish grin and said, "Well, honestly, no, but if he had been given the chance, I'm sure he would have!" Natalie gave a small laugh.

Remus cleared his throat and smiled. "Okay, thank you, Sirius!"

"Shall we head to the living room for a bit?" James asked, gesturing down the hall. "Lily will have dinner ready in a few minutes..."

"Lily will have dinner ready now," Lily said teasingly as she entered the living room. "Is Peter coming?"

"Oh," Sirius replied, "no, he can't make it tonight... something about fudge... or Fudge's report... I can't remember."

Lily frowned. "Oh, well that's too bad."

After dinner, the adults sat around the table as the conversation continued.

"So, what is it you do, Natalie?" Lily asked politely, taking a sip of her wine.

"I am an interpreter for the Ministry," Natalie replied.

"So what languages do you speak?" Sirius asked.

"French, Swahili, Greek, German, and a little Chinese - I'm still learning."

James laughed. "That's more than the rest of us know put together!"

"No kidding," Sirius added, smiling. "So, what's your surname, again, Natalie?"

Remus, who had been taking a sip of his wine, suddenly choked into his glass.

"You okay, there, mate?" Sirius asked, as everyone looked at him. Natalie had put her hand on Remus' and he squeezed it gently.

"Fine, yep..." Remus replied, eyes watering.

"Uh," Natalie began, glancing at Remus to be sure he was okay, "my surname is Malfoy."

Sirius suddenly stopped running his finger along the edge of his wine glass, Lily's eyes widened slightly, and James just stared.

Lily cleared her throat and said, "Oh, so you're related to Lucius?"

"He's my elder brother," Natalie replied hesitantly. "But we don't keep in touch much anymore. Do you know him?"

"Well, sort of. Our paths have crossed." Lily smiled and took another sip of her wine.

"Well, dinner was delicious, Lily," Remus said, folding his napkin. Natalie nodded in agreement.

"Thank you," Lily replied, pushing her chair back to stand up. "I suppose we could head out to the back patio, then."

The others stood up as well and they all went out and sat on the patio, watching Harry and Gwen flying around on their broomsticks, throwing an old Quaffle back and forth.

"Would you like anything else to drink, Natalie?" Lily asked.

"No, I'm fine, thank you..."

"Are you sure, Natalie?" Remus asked her quietly.

"I'm fine," she reassured him.

"I'll take a couple of Butterbeers, Lil," Sirius hollered from his lounge chair.

"Same here, hon." James and Sirius looked up at Lily from their chairs.

"You two can get your own," she said lightly, turning around to head to the kitchen for a drink for herself.

"Ah, it was worth a shot..." James got up and followed her.

An hour later, Remus and Natalie left.

"See you, mate," James said as Sirius waved to them. "Natalie..."

Remus waved, then turned towards the door, reaching out for Natalie's hand as they walked out.

Shutting the door behind them, Sirius said dryly, "Well, that went well..."

"No thanks to you two!" Lily snapped.

"What are you talking about -"

"Don't even, James Potter!" She picked up her glass. "You two know what I'm talking about." Her voice softened. "So what if she's a Malfoy. You two should be happy for Remus...." She turned and headed back towards the kitchen. "I'm going to clean up the dishes, then head to bed..."

"I am happy for him," Sirius muttered. "She just had to be a Malfoy, though..."

"Hey, mate," James said as they sat back down in their lounge chairs on the back patio, "You're a Black."

Sirius snorted. "Yeah, don't remind me." He drained the last of his Butterbeer.

Suddenly, a thought crept into James' head. Should he bring it up? They hadn't talked about Mae in quite a while.... He didn't know if it would upset Sirius or not...

"Mae didn't care," he said quietly, before finishing off his own bottle, then setting it down lightly between them.

"Where did that come from, Prongs?" Sirius said lightly, after a minute. James shrugged. The two sat in silence for a minute longer.

"Yeah, well," Sirius began as he set his empty bottle onto the table with a clink, "look what happened to that! She left me, didn't she?"

Standing up abruptly, Sirius said, "I think it's time to break out something a little stronger than the old Butterbeer..." He opened the sliding door into the kitchen, leaving James sitting alone watching Harry and Gwen flying around, still tossing the Quaffle back and forth.

A few minutes later, Sirius was back with two shot glasses and a bottle of Ogden's Firewhiskey. He sat down, poured both of them a shot, set the bottle down, then downed his whiskey at once. They sat in silence for a few minutes longer, watching the kids flying around together.

James broke the silence.

"Merlin, does she look like Mae..." he said quietly.

Sirius nodded slowly. "She sure does..."

Carefully, James tried again. "So, have you heard from her lately?"

Sirius sighed, pouring himself another shot.

"Not in the last three - four years..."

James nodded thoughtfully. "Gwen knows about her, right?"

Sirius poured himself another shot, and then downed that one too.

"She's asked about her, I've told her what I could..."

"Now, Sirius, mate," James began carefully, "you do know that Dumbledore is going to try to get Mae to teach at Hogwarts now that Kirke is gone and there's the whole - er - Voldemort thing, right?"

Sirius just stared down at the pond. James, knowing Sirius well enough, took his friend's silence as a 'yes'.

"Have you told Gwen, yet?" James asked, pouring another shot for each of them.

"I..." Sirius started quietly. "I was going to wait until we knew for sure..."

James didn't say anything. He knew how much it hurt Sirius to talk about Mae - or even think about her. And he thought about her a lot.

Another half an hour passed as the bottle of Firewhiskey quickly emptied.

Suddenly, Sirius asked, "Do you mind if Gwen stays here for the night? I..." he trailed off, then whispered, "I don't know..."

"Sure, that's fine, Padfoot," James said gently. "Are you leaving then?"

"Yeah," Sirius said, standing up. "I'll go say goodnight to Gwen..."

James watched his friend walk carefully down the hill and call the kids down to him. They gave him a hug, then shot back up into the air as Sirius came back up to the patio.

"See you tomorrow, mate," he said to James, who nodded in return.

"See you..."

At the back door, though, Sirius paused, then turned around.

"I loved her, you know... I still do..."

James heard a slight sob in his best friend's voice, so he didn't turn around. He just said, "I know, Padfoot... I know..."