The (Fairy) Godfather

Chapter Two

The Big Bad Potions Master.

"Who's the other Fairy God Mother, then?" asked Minerva over her stack of sixth year homework. She pursed her lips, as though an amusing thought had struck. "Have there always been Male Fairy God Mothers? Or is there something you're not sharing, Severus?"

With a particularly malicious expression on his face, Severus pulled the fifth year Gryffindor's potions homework to his side and steady began grading them a mark lower than the previous grade. He reached Hermione Granger's, changed the 'E' to an 'O' before reconsidering and changing it to a 'P'. He then looked up and smiled beatifically at Minerva.

"Alright. You've made your point," the Gryffindor head of house said grumpily, "now change Granger's score back."

"Are you suggesting I go back on my judgement and change a student's grade?" asked Severus, sounding slightly shocked. He ducked as a Transfiguration book went hurtling past his head and changed the mark back with an expression that said, 'It's ok, I don't really care either way.'

"This means that you can make anyone - absolutely anyone - fall in love?" asked Minerva curiously, tucking a grey-streaked black strand of hair behind her ear and looking nonchalant. There was a faint blush on her cheeks and a small smile curling in the corner of her mouth.

Disgusting! thought Severus.

"Perhaps," he said, looking thoughtfully at the glowing wand that sat so smugly beside the one he'd kept safe since first year. He wasn't fond of it - his own wand was familiar and comfortable, whereas this radiated a feeling of superiority that was faintly reminiscent of Lucius Malfoy. The Godmothering wand, Severus decided, insulted him.

"Prove it," said Minerva. "I'll bet you can't make two of my Gryffindors fall in love."

Severus had to stop himself from ... first off, taking some sort of potion to remove the feeling of severe sickness from his stomach, second, retching, and third, having bizarre mental pictures involving Potter and Longbottom.

"... if I can," he said slowly, "you have to correct all the Potions Homework for a term. I work my students extra hard, Minerva."

"If you can't," replied Minerva crisply, "I shall expect a term of Transfiguration Homework corrected. I do a lot of essays with my students."

The air seemed to crackle around them, and Professor Flitwick gave a small squeak of alarm before scuttling to the far end of the table to sit with his hands over his head beside Trelawney. The former Divination teacher took a deep gulp of the ominous looking hip-flask in her hand (which smelt suspiciously of spirits) and blinked her left eye, then her right.

"I sense a disturbance in the force," she said mistily.

"I'll give you a disturbance in a minute," said Minerva crossly, gathering up her homework and turning to glare at Severus. "You have one week to make Hermione Granger and Ronald Weasley fall in love. Love potions don't count."

Severus put his head in his hands, wondering what he'd gotten himself into. At least, he thought, it's good practise. I suppose all I have to do is point at Granger and Weasley, say 'Bippity Boppity Boo,' feel like an idiot and make them fall in love.

But it has to be a story. Maybe if I turn Weasley into a frog. Goodness knows he looks enough like one. ... no, it has to be an evil witch or something, and he has to wrong her first. It has to be like a Fairy tale.

Once upon a time, a red-haired gangly idiot named Ronald Weasley gave in some god-awful potions homework, and the big bad evil Potions Master turned him into a frog. Luckily, Hermione Granger had taken her nose out of a book long enough to realize that if she kissed him, all would become well again.

However, that's not how the story ended, because Hermione decided she preferred Ronald as a frog. She kept him like that for the rest of his days, until the Weasley twins tipped Ronald into a blender and he passed away peacefully.

No, wait... I've gone wrong there. Back to the drawing board.