I'm Not in Love

Lily couldn't contain it anymore. She fell on to the bed, shaking.

"For goodness sakes Lily, what's up?!"

Lily rolled over, still laughing.

"The look on his face! Whooooo!"

"Lily," said Jasmine, putting a calming hand on her friend's shoulder. "What has occurred to create such mirth in you?"

"Yeah, what's so funny?" Wait!" Eli added. "It was the long awaited confrontation between Peter Pettigrew and the Giant Squid!"

"YES!"

"What?!"

"Oh it was the funniest thing I ever saw!"

"Ooh! It must've been pretty funny, what with Jasmine and her antics!"

"Hey!" cried Jasmine in mock indignation. "I resent that remark!"

"Oh really? Are you sure you don't resemble it?" countered Eli. "What about that a few months back, when you-"

"Alright alright! Stop making me laugh harder! Cease from so amusing me, ere I should succumb to a fit of the giggles and be rendered unable to relate my tale of hilarity."

"Alright, just shut up and get on with it already!"

"Well, I was going to get some fresh air like you told me to, Jasmine, jeez, you're such a mother hen sometimes-"

"Alright! I am a mother hen! Well, now that we've established that, get on with the thrice cursed story!"

"Aha ha! Ha! Sorry, where was I? Oh yes. Well, I think the Marauders followed me out, because I heard them talking and making a general racket like they do, and then I think Sirius initiated a game of tips, and-"

"Sirius?" Eli interrupted, giving Lily a scrutinising look, which she didn't notice, whilst Jasmine suppressed a smile, which also went unnoticed.

"You know, Sirius Black, tall, dark and idiot? Yes? Well, he initiated a game of tips, and he mucked around with Remus for a bit, trying to tip him without getting tipped back, then he started chasing Peter, who was standing on the side of the bridge, and as he tried to turn and run, he, he...!" Here Lily dissolved into giggles once more, so Jasmine, in a very Jasmine fashion, combined what she knew of the Peter involved with what she had heard of the story so far, and finished off Lily's sentence.

"He tripped over his own feet and fell off the bridge onto the Giant Squid, which was swimming under the bridge at that precise moment."

Lily whooped even more loudly.

"Yes! It was so funny! The Squid, I'm sure, got the fright of its life, and it jetted across the lake and inked everywhere, and Peter was for some reason holding on to the Squid! He only let go when the Squid went under water. Then he made a huge fuss, splashing all over the place. Then the Squid came back, and grabbed him with its tentacles. My God, he screamed so loud! And then the Squid lifted him out of the water and just about threw him back onto the shore."

Eli grinned and chortled a bit, but Jasmine just smiled and shook her head.

"I guess you just had to be there Lily."

"Maybe you did. But oh, it was funny!"

"Anyway, Peter Pettigrew's affiliation with the Giant Squid aside, don't you have that essay, Lily?'

"Yes, Mother. I'll do it right away, Mother. Then I'll have a shower, change into my pyjamas, clean my teeth and turn my lights out before ten thirty."

"Fine then, just don't blame me when you wake up smelly, uncomfortable, tired, with halitosis and unfinished homework."

"I'm going, I'm going! Don't you and Eli have homework?"

"Nope," put in Eli, grinning. "We did ours whilst you were out frolicking with the Marauders."

"I was not frolicking!"

"Yes you were!"

"Wasn't!"

"Were!"

"Bye Eli. And I wasn't!"

Lily vacated the Dormitory before Eli could contradict her again.

~*~

Lily was completely unaware that there was someone in the room aside from her.

"Geez, I don't know, what is the wand movement that goes with the incantation 'hanato rosa'? How am I supposed to know that? We haven't done that, have we?"

"It was in that lesson you were asleep for."

"WHAT?" Lily shrieked. She didn't like people hearing her talk to herself, especially when she was admitting she didn't know something. But there, quite contrary to her wishes, was James Potter, looking for all the world like he was there first, and had every right to remain.

Which, on reflection, he probably did.

"It was in that double you missed because you were tired. I think McGonagall took points off."

"What?" Lily groaned. "She took points off?"

"Only about twenty. Another thirty for me. I kept making funny faces at you and turning your hair yellow."

Lily grabbed her ponytail.

"You turned my hair yellow?"

"And green. Purple suits you, by the way."

"Doesn't."

"You're right. I like it better red. It was a sort of swishy pentangle."

"What?"

"The wand movement. Well, less swishy, sort of a flick?"

"You are making no sense."

"You know, like when you conduct something."

"... No."

"Here, give me your wand."

"No!"

"Just for a moment."

"Where's yours?"

"On my bedside table."

"Go and get it then!"

"No, 'cause you'll scarper off before I can talk to you."

Lily reluctantly handed over her wand.

James looked at it critically.

"It's not firm enough. How can you do transfiguration with this?"

"Give it back then! It's a perfectly good wand."

"No no. You want me to show you that spell?"

Lily did, so she nodded, very grudgingly.

James looked around for a moment, then grabbed an old dandelion that one of the younger students had brought in.

"Hanato rosa!" he said, moving Lily's wand in short, fast flicks, then flicking it at the flower, which turned into a fresh rose. He looked at it critically, murmured something about red, then handed it to Lily.

"That wasn't a pentangle!"

"So?"

"You said it was a pentangle!"

"Yes, well, I haven't got it quite right yet, have I?"

"What? You got a rose, didn't you?"

"Yes, but it was meant to be red."

Lily looked at the rose in her hand. The edges of the petals deep crimson, but the centre was creamy white.

"It is very beautiful..." murmured Lily.

"Yeah, well, it was meant to be red. Not that red, either."

Lily looked at him bemusedly.

"What other red can a rose be?"

"That red." he replied, pointing at her. Her hair, she realised.

Lily coughed to get rid a tightness in her throat.

"...Anyway, show me that wand movement again?"

James flicked the wand in odd triangular shape again.

Lily scowled.

"Do it again, and slower, if you don't mind."

James obliged.

"Ah! It's part of a pentangle. The arrow shape, without the two side arms. Here, give me the wand... Hanato rosa!"

"No, it's more of a flick. Haven't you ever seen someone conduct before? Here."

James wrapped his hand around Lily's, and traced the shape in the air. All this before Lily quite processed it. She was about to pull her hand away, but by this time James was already half way through the flicks.

He pulled his hand away so Lily could try again. She flicked away, but she could tell that she hadn't gotten it quite right. James' hand engulfed hers once more. She got a pins and needles feeling in her foot. She'd been sitting in the same place for too long.

James showed her the movement again, and again, but she still didn't get it quite right. And for some reason, this didn't bother her, like it normally would. Eventually, she just wrote down what the movement was, and put her parchment away.

"So," she said. James looked surprised.

"So what? Aren't you meant to be half way up the stairs by now, me sitting here bemusedly wondering what I did wrong this time?"

"So," repeated Lily, slightly uncomfortably, "what did you want to talk to me about?"

After a moment, a slightly incredulous grin spread over James' face. It irked Lily somewhat.

"Well, you helped me with my homework, I'll at least treat you civilly."

"Civility! My God, only in my wildest dreams had I ever hoped for civility!"

Lily scowled. "Did you want to talk to me or not?"

"I always want to talk to you. If I were in the middle of saving Sirius from a nasty and painful death, I'd want to talk to you. But anyway, I wanted to know, more specifically, what you were doing next Hogsmeade weekend."

"I'm going with Elinor and Jasmine to Hogsmeade. James," his eyes widened, for a reason Lily couldn't fathom. "This had better not be you asking me out on a date, is it? Because you know the answer."

"Well then don't call it a date. Is next Saturday night alright?"

"No. Every Saturday night is taken."

"Why?"

"That's for us to know and you not to. Secret girl stuff."

"Ooh, I know, you all get up there and talk about how hot us guys are. Or more specifically, us Marauders.'

"James, you're skating on very thin ice here," said Lily in what she hoped was a dangerous and formidable voice. James laughed, holding up his hands.

"Sorry, sorry. Alright then, how about Sunday night?"

Lily nodded reluctantly. She had no excuse for Sunday, and it wasn't so bad that she would risk being found out a liar.

"Wait, does it have to be at night?"

"Oh yes."

"How late?"

"Umm, yes. Well, meet me outside just after dinner, alright?"

"James. How late?"

"I don't know. All depends. And don't get dressed up or anything, seriously."

"Why not?" she repeated. But it seemed answers were not forthcoming.

"And I know you'll do this anyway, but keep this a secret."

"James, tell me what on earth are you going to do?"

James grinned.

"Well, if you want to know something, it's all the more likely that you'll come, isn't it?"

"James..."

"I just want to show you something. Please Lily. Just once."

Lily Evans then made a mistake. If she ranked the mistakes she had made in her life, this would be right up there with trying to shake hands with an adder when she was two.

She looked up into his face. Then very quickly tried to look down again. He had his puppy dog look on again, but this time it actually got to her. There was something softer about him, and it was like a sort of glow was emanating from behind his glasses. But there was something else, like a- a desperate look.

Lily remembered about what she had told him behind the tapestry. Don't give up, she had said. Try again. Maybe a little quieter, not so showy. But try again. And she realised that what he had been doing. He had been trying. Even willing to take the advice of a stranger in a secret passage way.

And if she refused, it would probably crush his spirit.

With an inward sigh, she acquiesced.

"Alright. By the suit of armour that hums Green sleaves, right after dinner."

"Really? Thank you, Lily."

Lily would have done it again for the look on his face.

"I'll live to regret it though, right?" she joked, rather forcedly, putting her ink and parchment away.

"No Lily. You won't regret it."

Lily was already at the staircase.

"Night."

"Sweet dreams."

~*~

Everyone else in the dormitory was already asleep, but slumber was escaping Lily with an evasion that she marvelled at in something that sounded so slow. She couldn't stop thinking about what it was that James was planning. She knew she should just forget it and get on with her life, but she just couldn't. After half an hour of tossing about, trivial questions racing through her head, an inexplicable feeling of comfort came over her. Lily's last coherent thought was;

"He called me Lily...?"