Nothing On Earth

Chapter 3

1:55 PM

James and the mysterious first class girl continued to stare at each for what seemed like ages. Poor Remus had tried to get James's attention back to what it was supposed to be on - locating their partner - but nothing he tried seemed to work. Only after the girl had smiled rather coyly at James (drawing him even further into his trance) did Remus become fed up with them, and he hit his friend over the head with his book to get his attention. This act of physical violence drew James out of his fantasyland long enough for him to yell at Remus and threaten to start him on fire with his cigarette if he ever did that again. Then, he was back to staring.

Only - much to James disappointment and Remus's relief - the girl wasn't staring at them any more. She had turned around and was arguing with a man who had suddenly appeared behind her. After a heated exchange, the girl marched off in the opposite direction and the man followed her, looking quite annoyed. Pleased that there were no more distractions for his friend, Remus returned to his book and ignored a moping James.

"Well, no wonder she was unhappy. Did you see that bloke she was with?" James commented a few minutes later. He glanced hopefully at the upper well deck to see if she had reappeared again, but her spot was still empty. Remus gave no indication that he had heard James and he turned a page in his book. "If I had to spend time with that man, I'd be severely unhappy too. Looks like he needed to take a bath...I thought rich people liked to be clean?"

Remus sighed exasperatedly and buried his nose farther into his book. James glared at him - rubbing the spot where the book had hit as he did so - but made no move to continue any more conversation. He took one last drag of his cigarette and then threw it angrily over his shoulder into the ocean.

James dug through his pockets and pulled out his watch to find that it was almost two o'clock. He took another look around the deck and spotted no fancily dressed gentleman amongst the wool and worn clothes of his fellow passengers. He frowned and slouched lower on the bench. If their partner was going to take his sweet time having his tea and crumpets, then there was no reason for him to look presentable.

Dumbledore hadn't told them who their partner was, so James had no idea for whom they were looking for. The Order had been having problems with an information leak as of late, and Dumbledore didn't want to take the chance of the name being told to a Death Eater, for it was obvious that all Death Eaters were of high society. (James's secret belief, however, was that Dumbledore either enjoyed seeing them squirm with suspense or delighted in being the all-knowing leader of a secret organization too often.) James was hoping it'd be someone easy to get along with...unlike a certain pretty boy named Gideon Prewett, with whom James had had to do his last assignment with. That had been a disastrous mission; they had fought with each - Prewett had had a black eye for a week afterwards, which James was most pleased about - and a Death Eater had almost discovered them

It was only after that when Dumbledore decided to assign James and Remus positions overseas for the Order. One of their sources had said that the Death Eaters were planning on spreading their views or members in America, and Dumbledore seemed to think that the Order needed people there to put a stop to it. Another one of James's secret beliefs was that Dumbledore picked them just because he wanted them out of his hair (as they caused the most trouble), but at least the outcome of this meant that he'd be living on a totally different continent than Prewett and wouldn't have to put up with him.

Unless, of course, Dumbledore decided to be sadistic and send Prewett over later -

A sudden lack of movement from his fellow passengers caused James to stop brooding over Prewett and look around. It was too easy to spot what had caused the commotion to stop.

"Well, what have we got here?" James asked loudly, watching with some glee as a finely dressed gentleman made his way through the crowds of shocked third class passengers.

"Another pretty girl?" Remus suggested in an exasperated tone, not even bothering to look up from his book.

"Of course not, Moony," James replied, taking his eyes off the man (he seemed to have heard James's first exclamation and was wandering over toward them) to look at his friend. Annoyed that Remus obviously wasn't paying him any mind, James snatched the book out of his hands and set it aside.

"I was reading that Prongs," Remus protested with a glare.

"You're always reading it," James replied, rolling his eyes. "But if you would just take a look around, you'll find that our partner has shown his face at last."

Remus looked wildly around the deck until he spotted the man coming toward them. He seemed to recognize the man before James did and let out a groan of irritation.

"Any hopes I had of getting something done are now dashed. I don't know what Dumbledore was thinking - "

"It's not Prewett, is it?" James interrupted, whipping his head around to get a better look. To his extreme relief, Sirius Black - looking as out of place as possible - was standing in front of them instead. "Thank God. You had me worried for a minute there, Moony."

"You thought I was Prewett, Prongs?" Sirius asked, making a face of disgust as he spoke. "Honestly, your eyesight must get worse every time I see you."

"That's the second time in nearly three hours that someone has commented on my eyesight, and I'm getting rather sick of it," James replied, pushing his glasses further up on his nose as he frowned at Sirius. "You're late, by the way, Padfoot."

"There was no set time, so I can't be late," Sirius said. He sat on the bench next to James and slouched down. "We were told to meet after lunch and here I am."

"Certainly took you long enough to have your lunch," Remus commented as he picked up his book again and opened it. The three of them didn't seem to notice that nearly all the other third class passengers were gaping at them in shock.

"It took me longer than expected to get away from my mother...Wouldn't let me go until we had a quick 'family gathering'. I suppose that half of my bloody relatives are on this bloody ship, so I had a rather fun time making excuses to get away from them," Sirius explained, rolling his eyes. "But they're rather used to me disappearing, and I'm never missed, so it doesn't matter."

"I still can't believe that Bellatrix Lestrange is your cousin," James said, wrinkling his nose in disgust. "It must be horrible to have to be near her; I'm certainly glad I'm not the one watching her up close."

"Speaking of Bellatrix, have you found out anything so far?" Remus added, not looking up from his book.

"Erm...about Bellatrix," Sirius began, skirting around the question. He ran a hand through his hair and looked cautiously at his friends. Remus was now watching him out of the corner of his eye, but while James had both eyes on Sirius, he didn't look too interested it what was being said.

"What about her?" Remus asked slowly.

"If you're going to tell us that she's a foul, evil woman, don't bother because we already know that. That's why Dumbledore assigned us to watch her, remember?" James reminded.

"Yes...about that..." Sirius muttered, his tone rather nervous. "I really don't think we have a mission anymore. I...er...overheard Bellatrix telling Mother that she and Rodolphus are disembarking at Cherbourg rather than taking the whole trip..."

Remus dropped his book in surprise at the announcement and gaped at Sirius in surprise. "What'd you mean disembarking? They can't be disembarking! Dumbledore told us that they were going to stay on board for the whole voyage!"

"Change of plans, obviously," Sirius replied, glowering disappointedly at his shoes. "Either they must've found out about us or Bellatrix murdered one of her maids again. I'm hoping that it's the latter of the two...But she was talking rather loudly, and she gave me this...look, so I'm rather distressed."

"What are we going to do then? Just sit here?" James asked angrily, digging through his pockets to find his cigarettes. "I can just imagine the look on Dumbledore's face when we wire him, and he finds out that we didn't get anything done because the whole reason we're on the best bloody ship in the world decided to get up and go have a holiday in France! We'll be lucky if we get away with our heads still on our shoulders!"

"Dumbledore's not going to behead us, James," Remus sighed, forgetting momentarily about their dilemma to stare exasperatedly at his friend.

"Never said that Dumbledore was going to be doing the beheading, did I? Good old Mad-Eye's the one I have to be on the look out for. He looked ready to rip my head off my shoulders when I told him about the Prewett Incident," James argued crossly. He took a cigarette out of the package and then pulled out his lighter. "Please tell me you don't have any more bad news to share, Padfoot."

"Sorry, mate," Sirius said grimly. He ignored James's frustrated outburst and continued, "I caught Rodolphus telling Regulus that...Tom Riddle's taking their place when they disembark."

"Shit," Remus moaned, throwing his head backing disbelief. "We're doomed."

"You're kidding, right Padfoot?" James asked weakly, staring at Sirius with disbelieving eyes.

"The Lestranges never lie when it comes to their precious leader."

The trio sat in an angry silence for a few moments, absorbing this new information. James was fumbling with his lighter - his cigarette in between his lips -when an outburst from Remus caused him to drop it.

"Just when we thought we were going to get away with something for once, the bastards outsmart us - again! Why can't we ever win?" Remus kicked the deck angrily and glared at his shoes. "Here we are, trying to make the world right, and someone has to go and - James! You're smoking again? You just put out your last fag barely ten minutes ago!"

James observed Remus coolly as he took a long drag on his finally lit cigarette, and then proceeded to blow the smoke out in the other's direction. Remus made a disgusted face and waved the smoke away.

"You know I have a fag whenever I'm upset, Moony, so don't go taking your anger out on me," James replied, looking slightly more relaxed then the other two. He took another, deep drag before continuing, "All right...Tom Riddle's coming on board...I don't think that's as big as problem as we're making it out to be."

"Prongs. Riddle's the leader, which means he's far more dangerous and cunning then all the other Death Eaters combined, remember?" Sirius reminded. "Dumbledore's the only one who could deal with him and he obviously isn't here at the moment."

"Well, it's not like we're going to waltz right up to Riddle and start interrogating him. We can still gather information on future Death Eater activities regardless of the almighty Riddle's presence. We'll just have to be a bit more...sneaky than usual." James went on. "There has to be at least a few other Death Eaters on board this bloody ship. Isn't Lucius Malfoy staying through the whole voyage?"

"Yes, but he's just as dangerous as Riddle, which is why Kingsley's assigned to him," Remus said. "You know we're not supposed to go after a Death Eater out of our league."

"But think about it, Moony! Do you know how furious Riddle'd be if we got information from his best man and right out from under his nose?" James insisted. "We're not Moony, Padfoot, and Prongs - the scourges of Hogwarts - for nothing! We can do this!"

Remus did think about it for a moment and then said slowly, "I suppose that sounds like a plan...After all, I'd rather get in trouble for going after a dangerous Death Eater without permission, than for not doing anything. Think you'd be able to get information out of him Padfoot?"

Sirius was looking thoughtful. It took him a few minutes to reply to the question, but when he did it was optimistic for their mission, "If I played the right cards, I'd be able to get in rather good with Malfoy. He's in a spot of bother with me right now because he seems to believe I fancy his fiancée, but as long as I stay away from her and keep my mother from saying anything about my 'radical beliefs', I think I can do it."

"But you don't look happy about that plan, mate," Remus said softly, noticing the frown lines on Sirius's forehead.

"The only thing I don't like about it is staying away from Lily...Malfoy's fiancée," Sirius added, seeing the confused looks on his friends' faces. "She and I are good friends, and she won't like it if I suddenly stopped talking to her without reason...She'll also get rather suspicious because I said some things I probably shouldn't have to her earlier."

"Nothing about the Order, I would hope."

"No, nothing like that. It was a more personal topic." Sirius sighed angrily and threw his head back to look at the sky. "To pull this off, I'm going to have to lie to her...and that's going to hurt her more than anything. But I suppose if I stop talking to her, Malfoy'll be pleased and will stop harassing her about me...Maybe there'll be a positive side to this."

But from the look on his face, James could tell that Sirius didn't believe anything positive would come from lying to this girl.

***

"Have you seen my painting?" Lily demanded testily as she looked through her unpacked baggage.

Lily's maid looked over at her fearfully. The young woman had already had one angry outburst this afternoon and the poor maid didn't want to be the cause of another one. Lily didn't get angry often, but when she did, it was not pleasant to be around her.

"N-No, miss. I haven't seen it since this morning."

"Typical," Lily sighed angrily and stormed out into the stateroom's adjoined sitting room to look through the baggage in there. The maid hurried after her cautiously. "I told Lucius specifically to make sure that it was packed. If he left it behind, I'm going to wring his neck."

Lily saw the maid glance at her nervously and she seethed internally. So what if she was bad-mouthing her fiancé? He deserved it and he wasn't improving her temperament any by having Snape baby-sit her. Lucius had sent that overgrown bat of a valet to fetch her and escort her back to their staterooms, instead of doing it himself. Obviously, she wasn't an important enough reason for him to interrupt a tiny Death Eater meeting.

At least Snape had been the one to catch her staring at the steerage boy. (Granted, he was probably going to tell Lucius later, but at least she could deny it then) Lucius would've been beyond furious if he had caught her staring like she had been at another man.

"Oh, honestly!" Lily exclaimed, after she had searched through the entire sitting room and still hadn't found the painting. "Just because he doesn't like anything I do - "

"Crying over that mud puddle of a painting of yours again?" Lucius's voice drawled from the doorway.

Lily stopped her search and turned to look at him. He was leaning against his stateroom's entrance (both their staterooms were connected to the sitting room), with arms crossed and face severe. He looked quite angry, whether it be from the luncheon or something else she had done just today.

"It's not a mud puddle, Lucius, it's art," Lily corrected frostily. "I suppose you had it thrown out when I had my back turned, didn't you?"

"Your godforsaken painting is in Petunia's stateroom," Lucius replied, waving his hand in an uninterested way. He straightened up and entered the stateroom, keeping both eyes on Lily as he did so. "Honestly, Lily, you should think better of me by now."

"You haven't given me any reason to," Lily shot back, her temper getting the better of her. Lucius's gaze narrowed dangerously, but she ignored him and turned to the maid instead. "Go and fetch that, would you?"

The maid nodded and walked hurriedly out of the room. It was quite obvious she didn't want to be around when Lucius and Lily fought with one another. She shut the door with a soft 'click' behind her.

The couple glared furiously at one another from across the room, neither of them feeling the need to talk. After the first few minutes, the strained silence in the room started to become unbearable; no other sound was being made except for the constant, rhythmic hum of the engines far below. Finally - when Lily felt that she was about to burst - Lucius spoke.

"You will never speak to me like that in front of the hired hands again, Lily. Do you understand?"

"Of course I understand. I'm not a child, Lucius."

"That's hard to prove from the way you've been acting recently," he responded icily.

"Well, maybe if you stopped treating me like a child, I'd stop acting like one! And maybe if you stopped ignoring me whenever your friends come around, I'd be a more pleasant person to be around!" Lily exclaimed, her cheeks flushed with anger.

Immediately, she knew she had crossed the line. Lucius's frown grew deeper and his eyes flashed with fury. Quick as a flash, he crossed the room and was towering over her, every inch of him quaking in suppressed anger.

"We've had this talk a dozen times before, Lily," he hissed dangerously. Frightened, she took a small step backward to avoid was what coming, but Lucius grabbed her forearm and held her in his painfully tight grip to make sure she didn't go any further. "I am your fiancé. I expect you to treat me with respect and act as a proper wife should; seen, but not heard. You shall obey my wishes and do as I ask without any question. You will not look at another man nor will you speak with an old beau - "

"I'm a person, not some hunting trophy you can hang on your wall or some slave you can order around!" Lily interrupted, wincing as his grip became more painful. She glared at him furiously, panic beginning to replace her anger.

"I will not be spoken to like that! If you are to be my wife, you must learn to hold your tongue when your opinion is unwanted!"

"I'm not the only one engaged! What about you? How is it fair that I can't even look at Sirius, when you can go and chat up Bellatrix Lestrange or Narcissa Black all you want?" she shot back. "Lucius - let go - you're hurting me - "

Lucius glared down at her, and his mouth twitched unpleasantly, but he didn't reply. His shoulders were shaking with suppressed anger, and Lily noticed that his free hand was rising rapidly -

Suddenly, the main door burst open and Petunia came strolling in, the maid with Lily's painting following behind. Lucius's grip slackened immediately upon seeing Petunia, and Lily wrenched her arm away. She sent one last fright-filled glance in his direction before running to her stateroom and slamming the door behind her.

***

Lily didn't know how long had passed since she had locked herself in her stateroom, but if even a great deal of time had passed, she wouldn't be rid of the pain Lucius had caused her. The feelings of contentment and relief she had had only a few hours ago up on deck had evaporated into thin air. The area where he had held her was still slightly throbbing and she knew a bruise would form soon enough, yet the amount of physical pain she was feeling was nothing compared to pain of her heart.

Lucius had never been her Prince Charming. When they first met, she had been enticed by his good looks and charm, and she could've spent hours with him, just enjoying his company. However, as she looked back on it, she had never felt anything remotely near love when they were together; just admiration and awe that Lucius Malfoy wanted to spend time with her.

Then, when they began their courtship, she began to notice several subtle changes in Lucius's behavior towards her. He became less of a gentleman around her in private and began taking control of nearly ever aspect of her social life. He told her what to do, who to talk to, how to dress, and anything else that seemed important. All of her friends were driven away by Lucius and his henchman, but she had been too young and naïve at the time to realize that any of this was occurring.

Her parents, however, had seen what was happening to Lucius's behaviour and tried to prevent him from seeing her. She had been furious with them - for she had believed that they were the ones trying to control her, not Lucius - and continued seeing him in secret. Lucius's control grew even more and she continued to ignore all the signs and warnings until there was no one left to give her any warnings.

Lily's parents died unexpectedly a few months after they had forbidden a courtship, and Lucius seized the chance of no more opposition wonderfully; he proposed to her a few weeks later. She had been so confused and dependant on him at the time that she accepted at once.

They had been engaged for nearly a year when the wedding plans finally started getting put into place. (Petunia had pushed them into it, for tongues had been wagging about their abnormally long engagement and any gossip about her family sent her into a frenzy to get it corrected.) During that year, however, Lily finally began to notice everything her parents had seen in Lucius, but she continued to ignore them, convincing herself that Lucius was doing everything because he loved her.

By the time Lucius had fully exposed himself and she had seen what he was, it was far too late. The wedding day was just around the corner and noose of Lucius's control was tightening ever so quickly around her neck. He had backed her into a corner and there was no escape.

A tear slowly rolled down Lily's cheek as she stared at the fine, oak panelled ceiling above her. She felt as though she had been locked in a cage and that no one could free her from. She wanted out of it, the engagement, and her whole world so badly...

The irony of her predicament was overwhelming. When Lily had been younger, everyone had been convinced she would never find a typical, society husband and would never get married. She had been wild, adventurous, and nothing that a proper husband would want in a wife. But, as she had tried to tell all those who had frowned down at her behaviour, she wasn't trying to attract a society man nor was she going to be a lady of their society. Her dreams had always been to become a dancer and marry a man who loved her for who she was.

She had ignored all the attempts her family and others had made to try and stomp out her beliefs and dreams. She had done everything possible to make them come true. That is, until she met Lucius and let her barriers fall to his irresistible charm. He was the one who had finally been able to put her spark out...because she had been naïve enough to allow him to do it. And now that she would be marrying Lucius, he'd be sure to see that the spark would never return.

Another tear trailed down her cheek. Now all that was left of her dreams was a simple painting of a ballerina and a cold, loveless fiancé who probably only wanted her for beauty and money. Her heart and every idea she had ever based her life on had been shattered into a million pieces, and she could never pick them all up.

Yet with the way things were going, she wouldn't have to worry about picking up the pieces. Lucius would just add more when he shattered her body and soul.

***

"Lily, darling, you really must come out now! You've had enough of a lie down for one day, and we must get prepared for dinner!"

Petunia's shrill voice drew Lily out of her glum daze, and she slowly got off of her large, comfortable bed to unlock the door for her sister. When she had done so, Petunia burst into the room in a whirl of silk and bright colours, the maid following behind her, carrying Lily's painting.

"Thank you," Lily whispered quietly, taking the painting from the maid and setting it over in the corner of the stateroom. As she crossed the room, she noticed that the quiet hum of the engines had stopped and she presumed - with a sinking heart - that they were already at Cherbourg. "This room does need more colour."

Petunia glanced at the painting, shrivelled up her nose, and said, "On again about that ugly thing? Why couldn't you have bought a better painting, one with landscapes? I like landscapes."

"I happen to like dancers and this painting in particular, Petunia. When I look at it, it's like...like I'm inside a dream." The dream she hadn't been allowed to have. "I don't care what you and anyone else say about it either."

Petunia ignored Lily's wistful tone and sad face, and went twittering around the room as if her sister had never interrupted.

"I heard what you did at your luncheon today, Lily," she reprimanded, throwing a scowl over her shoulder. "I thought you'd have grown out of this childish behaviour by now. You're giving our family a bad name, acting up and insulting people as you are. People will begin to think we were raised like barbarians!"

Petunia shuddered at the thought of her family being the topic of gossip at teatime rather then someone else's. She hurried over to Lily's wardrobe and began searching through it for a gown.

"I am such a child that you're going to pick out my dress for me too?" Lily asked scathingly, her old anger coming back in a flash.

"Knowing you, you'd pick out a yellow dress, and I can't allow that. You look positively fallow in yellow - "

"I do not. You're the one who looks fallow and fat - "

"Lily!" Petunia hissed, turning around to stare at her sister in shock. Lily noticed, with some vindictive pleasure, that Petunia patted her stomach nervously. "What has gotten into you? You better not say anything like that at dinner! This is Vernon's only dinner on Titanic and I want it to be special...Even more, Tom Riddle's coming on board and it will do you no good to speak to like that to him. Lucius especially won't like it." Lily shifted nervously, and Petunia narrowed her eyes. She left the wardrobe, walked over to her sister, and put a comforting arm on her shoulder, surprising Lily very much. Petunia usually didn't care if she was upset. "...Why do you keep doing this to yourself, Lily? It's plain to see you don't love Lucius as much as you used to, but maybe...maybe if you tried just a bit harder to be more pleasant around him and obey him, things will start to shape up."

Lily glanced at her sister doubtfully. She couldn't possibly understand what her situation was like. Their personalities were so different, so it was nearly impossible to know what the other was thinking. They didn't even look like family; Petunia was tall and blonde and she was rather on the short side with red hair. But Petunia had gone through this situation before. Maybe she did know a thing or two about these sorts of things.

"All right, Petunia. I'll try." Lily replied at last, giving her sister a small smile.

"Good! Now, here's what I think you should wear... "

***

But by nearly ten o'clock that night, Lily's mind had changed. She couldn't do it. Even if her dreams had been shattered, she would succumb to that level so willingly; she'd rather die first than become a society drone.

Dinner had not been going well at all. Everyone had complemented her on her gown - which was heavily beaded and made of green silk - when they first sat down, and then proceeded to ignore her as per usual. She usually didn't mind the lack of conversation directed at her - for she never knew any good gossip - but tonight was different. For the first time, she noticed how none of the people sitting at their table were her one age or anyone she particularly liked. None of them ever looked in her direction, and even when they were asking a question about her, they didn't talk to her.

She had only tried to talk once during dinner, when a subject she knew quite a lot about had been brought up, but then, Tom Riddle had appeared, and she clamped her mouth closed, not even opening it to greet him. Riddle seemed to be the only one at the table who knew she even existed; yet whenever his cold, grey eyes locked onto hers, his gaze held nothing but malicious thoughts and contempt for her very being. Whenever he looked at her, she felt her heart turn to ice and the feeling of being trapped came back in waves.

The lowest point of the meal, however, hadn't been when Riddle had appeared. After Petunia had got up to go and socialize, Sirius had come and taken her place. Lily had thought this would be a good thing (for he would at least pay attention to her), but Sirius had only looked and spoken to her once, and that was when he had greeted her. Sirius had instead talked to Lucius and Riddle about Death Eater business and they seemed to appreciate him more after their little talk.

"Will you be joining us in the smoking room, Bla - Sirius?" Lucius asked, as he stood from his chair. His tone was much more becoming than it had been earlier that day.

"In a minute, Lucius," Sirius replied, with a good-natured smile. "I must make sure someone escorts my mother back to her stateroom. Wouldn't want her lost on this magnificent ship, would I?"

"No, no, of course not," Lucius said with a small chuckle. He then turned to Lily and asked soberly, "Would you like me to escort you back to the stateroom?"

"I can find my own way back, Lucius," Lily said dully, noticing how his eyes flashed with anger for a moment, but she didn't care.

"Very well," he sighed and walked away from the table, Snape following behind him.

Sirius was getting out of his seat and straightening out his jacket, but before he could go anywhere, Lily leaned over and grabbed a hold of his arm. He glanced at her, annoyance clearly written on his face, and then tugged his arm out of her grip.

"You shouldn't be doing that. You're engaged, you know."

"I know bloody well that I'm engaged. I've only been lectured on it two times already today," Lily hissed angrily, sliding over a seat so she could cover the distance between them. "I want to talk to you."

"About what?" Sirius replied indifferently, not looking at her.

"What has gotten into you, Sirius Black? You and Lucius were polar opposites this morning and now...now, you're acting all chummy with him..." Lily trailed off, desperate for Sirius to clear up her confusion.

"...A couple of years ago, I realized that I was going the wrong way about things and that...that what Lucius and Tom are doing, are the right way," Sirius replied after a moment. "Oh, I suppose you don't know what I'm talking about, do you?"

"Don't," Lily breathed angrily. "Don't you treat me like that! I'm your friend!"

"No, you're not. I've got new friends." Sirius replied evenly, straightening out his jacket sleeve. "I just pretended that I was this morning, so you wouldn't throw one of your fits and cause a scene - "

"You - You...you never used to care about those sorts of things!"

"I was young. Now that I've gotten older, I've realised that what I was rebelling against was unimportant and that there were other issues that I should've been putting my energy into. Like money and power, for instance," Sirius explained coolly. Finally, he looked at her, but there was nothing but contempt in his gaze. "You've must have realised by now that you're not the only one who can change over the space of a few years...Good night, Miss Evans."

"No, Sirius - wait - "

"I said, good night," he replied curtly, as he walked away from the table without a glance back. Lily stared after him, helplessness, hurt, and confusion bubbling up inside her.

Sirius couldn't have changed that drastically...could he? He was a fighter - he wouldn't have given in without a goof fight, but it seemed...it seemed as though he had given into the pressures of being the Black heir, and become another one of them.

Lily had always looked to Sirius for hope in her dark days - he had been her inspiration to keep going, to keep fighting off Lucius's attempts of control...But he was like the others now, and her hope was gone. There was nothing now that could save her from Lucius's tightening noose...

She saw it suddenly, how her life would always be if she allowed this to continue; an endless parade of parties and cotillions, yachts and polo matches. Always surrounded by the same people who didn't notice her, the same mindless chatter about things she hated. She was trapped, trapped in a life she didn't want and with a group of people who could care less about her.

She stared at the elegantly dressed people standing and talking in the dining saloon, her heart pounding madly in her chest and her breathing intensifying. She couldn't live like this any longer; she had to get out and away from them now, before it was too late -

With a small cry, Lily bolted from her seat, and ran through the crowds of passengers, shoving some aside in her haste. Several people cried out in shock, but all she could care about was getting as far away from them as possible. She pushed her way out of the dining saloon's doors and dashed across the foyer to the Grand Staircase. She pounded up the steps as fast as she could, the noise of her heeled shoes echoing throughout the spacious area. Up she ran, around this corner and the next one. But it still wasn't enough distance between her and the rest...She had to get out of their grasp, had to keep going.

She flung herself around one last turn in the staircase, before pausing to catch her breath. With blurry vision she read the inscription on the brass plate on the wall: B-Deck...She was on the same level as her stateroom, but Lucius could get to her in there -

"Now, now, Mrs. Black. I assure you, nothing will happen to your son if he chooses to join our...organization."

Lily whirled around at the sound of that cold voice, shock rippling through her system. Tom Riddle was coming up the steps behind her, deep in conversation with Sirius's mother, and apparently not noticing her. Yet she couldn't let him notice her, otherwise he'd drag her down and she'd never escape -

Terror flooded through her, and she began to run again. She raced across the landing and towards the door that led to the B-Deck promenade. She pushed it open, and stumbled outside, the cold air taking her breath away. Her heels clicked loudly against the wooden floor of the promenade as she ran, and her hair streaming behind her, having fallen out of its elegant knot. Tears were making their way down her cheeks and small sobs were escaping her lips.

A strolling couple watched her pass, shocked at such a public display of emotions, but she was through caring what people thought of her. No one had cared before, and they certainly weren't going to start now.

Before she knew it, she was at the metal gate that separated the first class from the steerage, and she pulled it open and tore down the steps, into the well deck. But even being in the steerage area wasn't far enough away; she could still hear the orchestra playing from one of the lounges and the tinkle of champagne glasses and laughter.

With an anguished cry, she fled on, coming closer and closer to the stern of the ship, to the point where she wouldn't have any more room left to run. She pounded up the set of stairs that led to the stern deck, and she could just see the black, endlessness of the ocean -

"Whoa!"

She hadn't noticed the male passenger in her way until she had run smack into him. She nearly fell over, however his hand closed protectively around her upper arm - the same place where Lucius had had hold of earlier - to stabilize her balance. But before he could get a good grip, she wrenched her arm free with a cry, and ran away from him.

Lily sprinted across the deserted fantail - not daring to look behind her to see if the man had followed - and just when she thought her legs would give out, she slammed into the base of the stern flagpole. She clung there, panting and sobbing, and stared out at the black water below her. She had run out of ship. There was nowhere else to go except...down.

She didn't want to die...but there were no other choices. She had waited too long, and had run out of time. She couldn't live in a life where no one wanted her and her spirit was already condemned to death if she stayed any longer...

Lily glanced up the bright stars for a moment, and she chose her course of action.

She began to climb over the railing. She used the flagpole for support, and gracefully climbed over to the other side, one foot after another. She took one last look at the rest of Titanic behind her, before turning to face the sea.

Her face turned white and she trembled with fear when as she stared at the long drop before her. She glanced up at the stars, her hair blowing softly in the wind and the beads of her dress clinking melodically against the railing. She sighed with the air of finality, closed her eyes, and leaned forward.

Any time now she'd have to strength to let go, and let herself be taken away from all the hurt and pain in her cruel world. Already, she could feel her grasp on the rail loosening and in a matter of moments she'd be released from her torment -

"Don't do it."