Standing on the Edge of Forever

Harry was standing on the cliff next to Hogwarts, high, very high, above the lake. The sky was clouded over and it looked like rain. Good. Let it rain. I don't care anymore, he thought bitterly as he stared down at the Giant Squid thrashing about in the lake below.

Harry slumped down on the grass and dangled his feet dangerously over the edge. He almost dared fate to take him. He honestly didn't care anymore.

He hadn't been the same since Sirius had died. Lupin and Hagrid's deaths didn't help things. What was the point in living anymore? So he could be the great hero from a prophecy? The prophecy didn't say who would survive. It might not even be him. Harry was sick of it. Sick of all the hero worship, the panic all around him was slowly driving him over the edge. That was part of why he was currently sitting on the edge of a cliff, thinking about death.

The other reason was that he was sure he was in love with Hermione, but there was nothing he could do about it. He could never have her. Never. There were too many things standing in his way.

A raindrop landed on his nose. Harry blinked up at the clouds, now more treacherous than ever. A gust of wind rustled through his hair and some nearby trees. Harry inhaled deeply and got slowly to his feet. He had a big decision to make.

~

I'm standing on the edge of forever

Lookin' down at the waters below

Your face keeps creeping into my mind

Goodbye, it's time to go

~

_-_

Hermione had been watching Harry lately. The death of his godfather two years ago had really upset him. For a time he'd stopped talking to Ron and Hermione at all. He wouldn't even look at them. When things had gotten too hard for her to take anymore she'd confronted him and he said he was sorry and that he had a lot of things on his mind. Things after that hadn't changed much.

He wouldn't stay in their company for long and all their conversations were forced and uncomfortable. Didn't he realize that the others' deaths had affected them too? He's not the only one hurting! Didn't he realize that she loved him and that it hurt her deeply to see him glance quickly away whenever their eyes met?

~

I see the pain in your eyes

Every hour of every day

It's stopped taking me by surprise

The pain will never go away

~

Hermione looked up from her book and out the window of the Common Room. The sky was dark. Hmm, looks like rain. She looked around the Common Room. Ron was scribbling on a piece of parchment what looked like a letter to his mother. Mrs. Weasley was so upset when Lupin and Hagrid died that she had almost not let Ron come back to school. The only reason he was allowed was because he'd be safer at Hogwarts with Dumbledore than at the new hideout. Hermione shuddered for a moment as she remembered Number Twelve, Grimmauld Place going up in flames during Voldemort's attack the year before.

Hermione stretched her arms out and yawned. As Hermione stood up she caught a glance of Ginny in the corner, wearing her haunted look again and staring into space. Ginny had been taken over once again by the Dark Lord the year before. That's how Voldemort found Grimmauld Place. That's how he was able to sneak in and attack them all while they slept. That was the night Lupin and Wormtail, the last of the Marauders, died. It was the night Hagrid died, too.

~*~*~

Hermione blinked sleepily. The room was still dark, moonlight streaming in through the window. She sat up and peered blearily around the room. Ginny was gone, she noticed, probably just at the bathroom.

What had woken her up? Hermione gently pulled the covers off of her and got to her feet and pulled on her purple bathrobe. Something wasn't right she could feel it.

Hermione was startled by loud sounds downstairs and Mrs. Black's screams soon filled her ears. Hermione ran out of her room just as the other portraits began to scream. Harry was already out on the landing, his wand in hand. Hermione bet that he'd had it next to his bed. He'd been awful paranoid lately, turning slowly into Moody, but this time she was thankful. Hermione ran to his side. He looked down at her, his eyes full of terror and confusion.

Another scream echoed through the house, Mrs. Weasley this time. Looking down off the edge of the landing Hermione saw that the hall below was crowded full of hooded figures. For a fleeting second Hermione thought they were dementors, until she saw that they had wands. And then she saw... him.

He was more horrifically ugly than anything Hermione had pictured in her dreams. Voldermort raised his wand and blasted the umbrella stand to nothing. Hermione's mouth was open and she was making rasping noises and she grabbed the sleeve of Harry's pajamas. Harry put a protective arm around her, holding her tighter than was necessary. He sort of held her to his chest for a minute; long enough to hear that his heart was beating fit to explode. Still, the feeling of him close to her gave her some comfort.

~

I'd never felt such terror before

But still you held me tight

I couldn't help but dare to hope

Everything would be all right

~

Ron and Bill had joined them on the landing and as soon as Bill realized what was going on, he began pulling them all back into the room they'd left. None of them seemed to move and Bill soon found out why all of them were frozen in place.

Standing next to Voldemort was a head of fiery red hair. Ginny Weasley. Hermione couldn't believe it. Hermione looked closer to find that Ginny's eyes were unfocused and she was standing stock still, the Imperius Curse obviously still on her.

"GINNY!" Hermione heard Ron scream and Ron began to jump down the stairs. Volemort raised his blood red eyes to lock on Ron and he took aim. Hermione felt a chill grasp her heart.

"NO! RON!!!" Hermione screamed. Hermione suddenly had a vision of Ron being hit with the Avada Kedavra and falling the rest of the way. This vision never came to be as Harry, who had released Hermione, grabbed Ron around the middle and yanked him out of the way.

This act seemed to awaken Bill once again. Hermione was still frozen, unable to take her eyes off of Ginny's face. Bill grabbed up Hermione and forced her back into the room.

Hermione snapped back out of her trance. She looked up in time to see Harry pulling a struggling and screaming Ron back into the room. Harry slammed the door shut forcefully. Bill was running around the room. He came back with two brooms, Ron and Harry's. Harry whipped out his wand and blew out the window after failed attempts to open it. Bill and Ron got onto Ron's broom (Ron still struggling). Hermione didn't know what to do. The screaming downstairs intensified and Hermione grew even more scared and confused. Harry grabbed her around the middle and forced her onto the back of his broom. He climbed on behind her, grasping the broom jutting out in front of her and kicked off. The four of them had just made it out of the window when the door blasted open behind them. Hermione looked back over Harry's shoulder, just in time to see Voldemort moving swiftly to the window.

The cool night air seemed to clear her head. Now she could process things. Voldemort was attacking Grimmauld Place. How had they found them? Then Hermione remembered Ginny. The Imperius Curse.

"Ginny!" Hermione cried. Hermione twisted around in Harry's arms.

"We have to go back! We have to save her!" she cried. Harry's features appeared to be set in stone.

"We can't," he said quietly. She could tell that he was fighting the urge to turn back very hard. Hermione persisted.

"She'll die! We have to save her, we have to!" she screamed, squirming in his arms. Harry took one arm off of the broom and wrapped it around her tight to make her stop moving.

"WE CAN NOT GO BACK, HERMIONE!" Harry yelled. Hermione stopped, startled, tears in her eyes. He'd never yelled at her like that before. Hermione looked around at Ron and Bill flying next to them.

"What's the matter with you two?! She's your SISTER!!! HOW CAN YOU LEAVE HER!?!"

Hermione saw the muscles clenching in Ron's jaw. Harry wrapped his arm tighter, so hard that Hermione felt a stab of pain in her side.

"Shut up and hold still, Hermione," Harry's voice hissed viciously in her ear and Hermione did what he said. She was too afraid of Harry not to obey. His voice was so cold. She could feel Harry's heart against her back, beating faster than ever. He's scared too.

Hermione began to cry. She couldn't help it she was so scared. What would happen to Ginny, Mr. and Mrs. Weasley, and the others? Why was this happening?

Harry loosened his grip on her as she sank back onto his chest, sobbing. Harry switched from strangling her to hugging her. He wasn't used to comforting her, she could tell.

"I'm sorry, Hermione. It'll all be okay, Hermione. Please stop crying."

Hermione twisted around and looked up into his big green eyes. It was then that she knew, then that she knew that she loved him. Then Harry did something he never did before. He kissed her.

~*~*~

They eventually turned back. Once they reached Number Twelve Grimmauld Place, the Death Eaters were long gone. Flames were leaping high into the night. People were crowded around. There had been a big battle and they had gotten rid of them for now. More like the Death Eaters had deserted, leaving a Ginny who would be forever haunted behind.

They'd been informed that Lupin had been hit and killed during the struggle, though not before murdering Peter Pettigrew. Hagrid had been in the house, holding up the roof while the last of the members of the order got out, when the roof collapsed in a pile of flames.

That was the first time Hermione had seen Harry cry. Hermione had heard him cry, though he didn't know it, but she had. She had never seen him cry. It was something she could never forget. He was her safety. As long as Harry was near, she was safe. Seeing him cry like that reminded her that he was human, just like everyone else.

~

I could barely breathe for sadness

The loss was truly great

The moment I saw you cry, I knew

You could no longer bear this fate

~

Hermione walked over the window. She watched the Giant Squid thrashing about in the lake and for a moment and her eyes traveled over to a bluff above the lake. Something there caught her eye. A tiny figure in the distance was standing on the very tip of the ridge. The bottom of her stomach dropped out. Even though she could not see him clearly, she knew that it was Harry. She had expected this day to come, and now she knew what she must do.

_-_

Harry looked down at the water below. It must be at least thirty feet. I'd be dead as soon as I hit the water. Harry thought. The water of the lake rippled under his gaze and the wind blew the rain in his face.

Harry sat down on the grass and ripped off his shoes and socks. He stood back up and balanced on the very tip of the cliff, curling his toes around the rocks beneath his feet. Harry took a few deep breaths, enjoying the last of his life. I'll see you soon Sirius...

"Harry Potter, don't you dare take another step!"

Harry whipped around so fast he almost lost his balance. Hermione was running toward him, something shiny in her hand along with her wand.

"What are you doing here?!" Harry yelled stupidly. Hermione ran up to him, panting slightly.

"Don't come any closer, Hermione," Harry warned her, the shock of seeing her starting to wear off.

"Don't do it, Harry!" Hermione cried, clutching her chest.

"Go away, it's none of your business!" Harry spat acidly. Hermione looked hurt. Hermione took a small step toward him.

"It's none of my business? Harry, you've been my best friend since I was eleven years old. Doesn't that mean anything?! You and Ron were the first friends I'd ever had! Of course it's my business!" Hermione yelled back, angry with him for being so stupid.

Harry chose not to respond to her. He turned back to the cliff. A gust of wind caused him to lean forward slightly, acutely aware of her eyes on him. And now he was sure that he could not go through with it. Not with Hermione standing there watching him.

"Go away, Hermione," Harry demanded.

"No, Harry."

Harry could hear the fear in her voice yet he could also hear the determination that told him she would not back down. He heard her take a few steps toward him, about four feet away now.

"Please, Harry."

Harry looked back at her over his shoulder. She looked so beautiful that Harry almost abandoned his whole mission. No, there's no turning back. Harry scolded himself and turned away from her.

~

The moment I saw you I had hope

But I'd already come too far

Still, your face had given me reason to dream

My own bright shining star

~

"Why do you want to do this?" she asked softly.

"Why, Hermione? WHY?!" Harry couldn't keep the anger from bubbling up.

"Because the weight of the world is on my shoulders! It's my fault my parents, Sirius, Hagrid, and Lupin are dead! You have NO IDEA what it's like to have everyone you love slowly dying off! I want to end it now because sooner or later they're going to hit me where it really, really hurts!"

"Oh yeah, Harry? Where could they hit next that could affect you more than this?" Hermione asked skeptically.

"They could come after you next!"

~

They won't hurt you because of me

I love you, don't you know

I've loved you for so long

There's no way it couldn't show

~

Hermione was so taken aback that she was silent for several minutes. Harry made the mistake of looking her in her eyes. Now you've done it, Potter. Now you'll have to do whatever she says.

"Harry..." Hermione began, unsure of what to say. The rain was coming down harder now.

"I'm not going to let them hurt you, Hermione! I can't let them get to you because of me!"

Harry turned to the cliff and looked at the water below, a new resolve settled in. His foot lifted off the ground.

"You go through with this, Harry, and I'll die," Hermione said calmly.

"Why's that?"

"Because I love you!!!"

Harry turned. The rain was coming down hard and he was sure he'd misheard her.

"What!?"

"I LOVE YOU!!!!!!!"

Harry's heart leapt for a moment, his leg still poised in the air, ready to jump. She loves me!? NO, it's too late! Harry turned back to the cliff.

"Harry, if you jump, I'll kill myself!"

Harry put his foot down, shocked, and looked back at her. The shiny thing he'd seen in her hand while she'd run toward him was now positioned dangerously over her heart. It was a shiny dagger. Harry's heart began racing.

"There's no hope without you! I refuse to live without you. If you jump, I'll commit suicide, too!"

Hermione could see the anger creeping up into Harry's face.

"The only reason I'm doing this is to keep you alive! You can't kill yourself, you're ruining my entire point if you do!" Harry yelled at her, the rain making it harder to hear her.

"Then it would be kind of pointless for you to jump, wouldn't it?" she asked, sarcasm and anger apparent in her tones.

"You always have to complicate things don't you!?" Harry shouted at her, turning away from the cliff so his body was facing hers.

"Come on, Harry. Let's save each other. You don't have to go through everything alone. I'm here! I'm here, willing to share your pain, your happiness, and your life, Harry! Come and take my hand. I love you!"

Hermione stretched out her hand and looked at him longingly, the hand with the dagger going slack at her side, her eyes locked on his. Harry stepped over to her cautiously. He tentatively interlaced his fingers with hers and her hand held onto him in a tight grip.

Harry looked into her eyes. The rain beat down on his glasses and the drops on his glasses distorted her features, but to him she was still beautiful.

"I love you, too. So very, very much." he said.

Hermione opened her mouth to tell her that she loved him too, but his mouth was upon hers in seconds and it no longer mattered that they were soaking wet and freezing cold standing on the edge of a cliff where they both had threatened to commit suicide. Nothing mattered but that she was in his arms and he in hers. In the end that was all that ever mattered.

~

I saved you and you saved me

Now I know we'll make it through

'cause I know that in the end

I'll always still have you

~

The End