Just To Say I Love You

Just To Say I Love You 02- Hospital and Hair

Sirius
He looks awful. My best friend no, our best friend. A Marauder. One of us.
He's linked up to a weird orb with flashing colours over the top. He's
attached to a drip and it's dripping slowly. There's a mask over his face
that is linked to the orb. He is bandaged all over and tubes bind him like
snakes.
It's hard not to cry, looking at him all bedraggled and weak and mangled
with his hair all messed up. He freaks if his hair isn't like he wants it to
be.
The rest of us are silent. The only noise is the soft whirring of the orb
and his harsh, ragged breathing. I can't take my eyes off him but James is
determinedly looking everywhere but at him. Peter is staring at his
fingernails like they're the most interesting things he's ever seen. I can't
take it any longer. My fingers move quickly, smoothing down every tousled
hair.
'He never does like it out of place. Idiot. Chicks dig the
just-off-the-broom-look,' says James in a wavering voice. Peter sniggers and
I smirk reluctantly. Remus stirs slightly and our attention turns to him.
The machine whirs louder. Remus stops breathing. The noise is deafening. We
cover our ears with our hands.
Madam Pomfrey rushes over and pushes us roughly. We stand back as she draws
the curtains and can only stare at the faded aqua blue material.
What feels like an eternity later she opens them.
'One of you put that on his chest,' she says sternly, indicating the small,
round bottle placed on top of the machine. It is labelled "Vick's Vapor Rub".
She bustles over to a bed opposite and slips inside the drawn curtains. I
think I hear a sob and a hastily said "Silencio" but I can't be sure.
James picks up the bottle labelled Vapor Rub.
'Oh, no, don't. I can do it,' Remus mutters embarrassedly.
'Mate, your arms are taped to your bed. Anyway, I've been waiting for a
chance to ravish you,' says James wickedly.
'What about your lusting for a certain Lily Evans? Or is it a clever ruse?'
Remus croaks.
'Most definitely a ruse,' James says with a roguish wink.
I can't help but take in a sharp breath when James unbuttons Remus's shirt
and gently peels away the bandages. There are six deep slashes across his
chest. They have crossed to make a vicious pattern.
James is concentrating, frowning with his tongue poking our slightly. He
rubs in the serum carefully without acknowledging Remus's blushes or
mutters. He finishes with a flourish of his fingers, like a piano player.
'Sorry.'
'Don't ever be sorry. Not for this,' replies James very seriously. Remus
inclines his head a little before falling asleep.
There's silence between us four again, but it's a different sort of silence.
We're not looking at each other, but that's just to try and hide the fact
that we've got tears streaming down our faces like raindrops on a window.
A loud sob breaks our silence and our heads swivel to the bed opposite, with
the curtains drawn round it.

Lily

I scrawl a message on the whiteboard that Carrie left.
It's hard to write when you're crying your eyes out, isn't it?
Jenna looks at me sympathetically and scribbles back in really untidy
handwriting, which is strange because it's usually so neat.
Don't cry. I'm not dead yet. Save the pretence for the funeral.
Usually her ironic comments make me giggle but this just makes me cry more.
We're still best friends forever, right?
Forever.
It's weird writing to you, when you're sitting right beside me.
Are you calling me weird?
I giggle, just a little.
I'm not supposed to be laughing, Cherry. You are all... Well.
Yes? I'm waiting for an answer...
I don't say anything or write anything down.
Tick tock.
I can't help it. The tension and the sheer horror of seeing my best friend
of five years lying in a hospital bed, crushed and bloody, makes me sob out
loud. Then we hear the sound of heavy feet rushing over.
DON'T LET THEM IN!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Who are them?
The question is answered as Sirius, James and Peter rip back the curtain.
Oh, hell.
I hastily try and wipe my eyes. Which is ridiculous because I think they
heard me crying in the first place.
I try my best to look angry but I know I don't. My eyes are red and swollen
and I keep hiccupping because of all the crying I did. My hair is probably
standing on end because of all the times I ran my hands through it and I
know that it's not straight. I can tell it's gone all curly at the ends.
I jab and wave my wand at Madam Pomfrey's office whilst saying "Muffliato"
in my head. Now her ears will be full of unidentifiable buzzing. Did I ever
mention that Severus was a genius?
I'm about to start yelling at the three boys but then I peer more closely at
them. Peter's eyes are even more watery than usual. Sirius's eyes are red
and puffy and he's clenching his fists, his body turned so it's facing the
opposite wall. James's eyes are sparkling with unshed tears.
'Lily?' he says in a rather choked up voice.
I fold my arms defensively.
'Yes?' I sigh. Potter is such an idiot.
'What are you doing here?'
'I could ask you the same question.'
'We were seeing Remus,' says Sirius with a break in his voice. I look at
James for confirmation and he points to the opposite row of beds by the far
wall, unable to speak.
Jenna squiggles down two words.
Don't go.
Have to.

James
Typical. The one time I'm in the same room with her and she's actually
interested in hearing what I have to say I can barely say a word. Sirius is
interrogating the girl lying on the bed. She looks as bad as Remus.
'Can you talk?' he asks.
She writes one word down on a little whiteboard. No.
'What's your name?' Sirius continues. He's so stubborn, like a dog with a
bone.
Why do you care? is the written answer.
'Are you in Gryffindor?'
Maybe.
'Are you a fifth year?'
Perhaps.
'Are you friends with Lily?'
I hope so.
'How did you get your injuries?'
The board stays blank.
'Just answer the question!'
It's none of your business!
'Oh, yeah?' he sneers.
Keep your nose out if you like the shape it is she writes, her eyes looking
at her wand on the side table.
'What's that supposed to mean?' Sirius snarls defensively.
What do you think it means? She fixes him with a cold stare.
'Cow.'
Creep.
He shoots daggers and she returns with a double-barreled glare. I can't help
it. I burst out laughing. This is exactly what it's like in our dorm when
Remus and Sirius are fighting.
Lily rushes over and I stop laughing as she looks so tense and worried.
'I think something's wrong with Remus!' she says all in a rush. It sounds
like IthinksomethingswrongwithRemus!
We all dash over there in a second.

Jenna
Lily smirks with satisfaction as she draws the curtains together with her
wand and seals them tight with a clever charm. She mutters Silencio and sits
back on the chair beside my bed.
'How is he? Remus?' I ask in what I hope is a casual voice.
'Why do you want to know?' she asks, giving me a knowing look.
I mumble something and blush.
'Aw, someone's got a soft spot for a Marauder!' she teases.
I roll my eyes at her, something I'm very good at, because I do it so often.
'What about that guy who's been sending you love letters?' she remarks,
pretending to swoon. 'Or have you broken his heart with a sound audible at
the North Pole?'
I snort.
'What about you and...' I stop and trace a double S through the air.
'Oh, my god, you won't believe this!' she squeals and she leans in closer to
tell me.

Peter
Lily tricked us. Remus is fine. As fine as you can be when you're a
werewolf. Sirius storms over to the curtains and tries to rip them open, to
no effect.
'Finite,' he snaps at the curtains as though they had done him a personal
wrong.
The sealing charm doesn't come off but the Silencing Charm is loosened a
little and the girl's voices start drifting in and out like out of a badly
tuned wireless.
'Severus Snape!' exclaims a voice, belonging to the girl on the bed I think.
'I know. I just couldn't help myself,' says Lily sounding guilty. Both of
them giggle and we can't hear anything for a bit.
'Secret?' asks the girl on the bed.
'Promised... Everyone else... It's such a shame...'
'Not out of pity, though?'
'God, no! He hates that even more,' says Lily.
It's so frustrating when we can only hear little snippets of their
conversation. There is silence for a moment before the two girls'
conversation floats out again, clearer than before.
'What about you?'
'Who cares about me?' retorts the other girl quickly.
'I do. You're just avoiding my questions. You have to answer this one. Do
you or do you not like Remus Lupin?'
It's too much. I look at Sirius. Sirius looks at James. James looks at me.
We all burst out laughing, something I thought I wouldn't do tonight.
The curtains yank open. Lily is standing there with a mixture of confusion
and anger on her face.
'How long have you been there?' she demands of us.
'Long enough,' says Sirius, trying to act smooth.
Is it my imagination or does Lily look panic stricken at that? She scuttles
over to the girl on the bed and whispers.
'It's rude to whisper,' says Sirius.
'It's rude to eavesdrop on private conversations,' the girl snaps back.
'Why were you talking about Snivellus?' asks Sirius annoyingly.
'Don't call him that,' says Lily in such a dangerously quiet voice that
Sirius shuts up. For about three seconds.
'Why were you talking about Remus?'
A bright blush sneaks up the girl's neck and settles on her cheeks. Her
silvery blond hair is gleaming, but there's no light. Her grey eyes sparkle
with defiance. She's deadly pale and looks like she has lost a lot of weight
in a short period of time. Something about her isn't right. She should look
beautiful. But she just looks sick and awkward.
A ghost of a smile flickers around Lily's mouth. Just to complicate matters,
Remus wakes up.

James
'Guys? Where are you?' Remus calls from the other end of the room. He sits
up slowly and looks around blearily. The girl on the bed twitches her hands.
Sirius and me look at each other and burst into hysterics again. Peter goes
and explains the whole thing. Remus's eyes grow wider and wider and his
cheeks are now positively pink. He attempts to hit himself in the head with
his hand but rips out a tube by mistake.
Sirius and I stroll over casually trying to conceal the wide smirks.
'You're lucky I can't move or I think I might strangle you!' Remus spits
out.
I raise my eyebrows and Sirius rolls his eyes.
'While you were off howling to the moon or whatever, Sirius thought of a
catchy catchphrase for closing the map,' I say veering away from the subject
of strangling.
'Mischief Managed!' says Sirius proudly.
Remus opens his mouth and I see Sirius blanch, ready for a thrashing.
'That's actually pretty good, Padfoot.'
'What about the opening?' asks Peter.
'I still think, "I'm Serious, Sirius, you're a god!" is perfectly fine!'
says Sirius with a tragic sigh.
'Watch it. Your head might not fit through the door frame!'
'I know! Give me the map,' says Remus picking up his wand.
I hand him the scrappy piece of nondescript parchment.
'I solemnly swear that I am up to no good,' he whispers pointing his wand in
the centre.
As our masterpiece unfolds, we smile at it proudly, our work of two years
almost finished. It's just us right now. No one else matters. Just us four
Marauders together.