When Everything Goes Wrong

WHEN EVERYTHING GOES WRONG!!!!!!!!

Sarah: Hey everyone!!! . . . . . HEY, SAY HI PEOPLE!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Everyone else: * mumbles through gags *

Sarah: * sweat drops * Oops! * takes off gags *

Harry, Hermione, Ron, and Draco: HELP US! THEY'RE MAD!!!

Sarah: Oops again! * puts back on gags * I told you guys not to do that!!!! Am I gonna have to hex you guys again! Sheesh!!

Everyone: * rapidly shakes heads *

Sarah: I didn't think so, now be good!!!!! OR I'LL HEX YOU FOUR INTO NEXT WEEK, GOT IT!!!

Everyone: * sweat drops and shivers slightly *

Sarah: * laughs innocently * Anyhow... * glares at the four one last time* Now, let's get down to business.

Andrea: HHHHHHHHHHHIIIIIIIIIIII!!!!!!!!!! * sugar rush *

Sarah: Right...*slowly starts to walk to the other side of the room*

Everyone mumbles and starts to move their chair away from Andrea.

Andrea: Don't mind me...I really am on a sugar high rite now . . . and won't be sane for another hour or so.

Sarah: Right, let's get back to business . . . .so we have a pureblood . . . who is also very, very hot * starts to drool * . . . . .

Andrea: Who is known as Draco Malfoy... then we have a Mudblood. . . .* glares at Hermione *..

Sarah: Yes a filthy Mudblood . . .* glares at Hermione * a poor excuse for a wizard * looks at Ron * and a muggle lover * glares at Potter * . . . . . * sigh * we have the crappiest sniper and kidnapper.

Andrea: Hey!! My sniper's doing fine! How would you like to kill multiple Dobby's, that I swear are taking over the world!?

Harry: * mumbling something about Dobby *.

Sarah: Shut up you * ponders * Hmm. . . you do make a point. . . now. . . what to do with them. . . * rubs chin *.

Andrea: We could torture them with Paulina.

Sarah: What the bloody hell is she good for . . . other then to torture or sacrifice.

Andrea: Torture or sacrifice?

Sarah was just about to answer when there was a very loud CRASH!!! Turning around they saw that Ron and Draco were in a pile on the floor.

Andrea: * raises and eyebrow * What the hell? How'd that happen?

Both start to glare at the two, as they try, without any luck, to get themselves of the floor. Thinking that they look funny like that they decide to leave them at it.

Andrea: Anyway. . . so what are we gonna do with the four?

Sarah: How about we torture them and the send anyone who ever gives a damn about them a ransom note . . . . . Or them piece by piece in the mail . . . . MUAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!

Andrea: Hey!!! That's a good idea!

Hermione starts to scream, while Ron and Draco freeze dead on the floor.

Andrea: Let's see . . . . . We'll start with . . . . .

Sarah: * moves finger by all of them and stops at Potter *.

Sarah & Andrea: POTTER!!!!!!!! * smiling evilly *.

Harry tries to hop away in his chair but fails and falls to the floor, taking Hermione with him. Now there is a pile of pathetic people who can't even sit still.

Andrea: You think we should help them up?

Sarah: NAH!!!! * walks out of the room * hehehehehe. . . . neeed sugar. . .sugar. . * begins to eat a whole bunch of pixies sticks at once* THAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!!! SUGAR!!! * starts to twitch *

Andrea: I want sugar too! * runs after Sarah trying to get pixie sticks*

Both authors are getting high on pixie sticks while the four hostages are looking at them and then at each other in pure shock and terror.

Andrea: SUGAR RUSH!!!!! WHHHEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Sarah starts to run around the room screaming BLOODY MURDER at the top of her lungs. Runs up to the hostages and starts to scare the living daylights out of them by shacking them and screaming at them. Andrea runs around the room like a crazy mad person bouncing off of the walls.

Sarah's mum walks in. . . .stops dead . . . looks at the chaos that is happening in the room and leaves with a mortified expression no her face.

Sarah: * stops running like a mad woman and starts to pant * Ok . . . . . * pant * Ok, now we need to start on the torture and ransoms sessions.

Andrea: * stops bouncing around * rite . . . so we are starting off with Potter rite?

Sarah: YUP * starts to walk toward Potter * So * towers over Harry * what you think we should do?

Andrea: * also walks up* hang him from his fingers? And write a letter to * ponders * . . . . .who cares about Harry that they would pay a ransom?

Sarah: You know . . . .I really don't think anyone gives a damn bout him. * sigh * well lets ask him if anyone even knows that he is gone.

Andrea: Ok * walks up to Harry * Hey!! You think anyone noticed that you're not at Hogwarts?

Harry still lying on the floor tied up to a chair mumbling something.

Sarah: What did you say . . . . . speak up or I will inflict serious pain on you. * starts to lift Potter from the floor *.

Andrea: Maybe we should UN gag him for 5 seconds to tell us names.

Sarah: * sigh * Fine, Fine. * Walks over to Potter and pulls gag off * Ok speak now or forever hold you peace, in other words death.

Harry: Well finally you take that stinking . . . * he stops dead when he see the murderous looks in the author's eyes *. "Um . . .. well why don't you try Dumbledore . . . or. . . wait that's not fair. . . .all the people that care bout me are in this room.

Sarah looks at Ron and Hermione . . . "Well Potter seems that you are not very loved" . . .. * shakes head* * tsk * " What a sad and pathetic life you live ".

Andrea: Uh huh . . . Dumbledore it is then? Can't be any worse than Ron or Hermione's. * ponders * Hey! What bout Sirius?

Sarah: Hmm...forgot about him . . . but he is probably shagging someone right now . . . * shudders * Bad mental image . . .

Andrea: EWWWW...o well...he's like a freaking bum anyway . . . wouldn't be able to afford the ransom.

Harry: Hey!!!! That's my godfather that your dissin . . .

Sarah & Andrea: YEAH!!!! AND YOUR POINT IS!!!!!!

Harry: Well . . . *ponders* um . . .. you know I really don't have a freaken point..

Andrea: Thought so...so we agree on Dumbledore?

Sarah: Yup!!! Takes out pen and parchment . . . and starts to write. . Dear Dumbledorf . . . I mean Dumbledore...

Dear Dumbledore:

We are please to inform you that one of your most beloved students. . (well actually 4 of your students, but that's beyond the point) . . . has been taken hostage. . . THEHEHE!!!! . . . we would like...

Andrea: Hmmm . . .how much do we want? Wait a minute . . . what do we want?

Sarah: How about Hogwarts or the world...world domination . . .. MUAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!!

Andrea: Yup!! That sounds good.

As a ransom we would like you to hand over Hogwarts and for you not to try and get it back. Well you're probably going to crumple this parchment and throw it out. Yeah I know what you're thinking, why the hell would I give away Hogwarts just for some stupid punk kid. I know I wouldn't do that either but here's the catch . . . the student that we have as a hostage is your beloved Harry Potter. Yes now you may commence screaming and ripping of hair. Yup!! You heard me, we have Potter. And we not letting him go till we have Hogwarts. If our demands are not met, Mr. Potter and other hostages will be going through some serious torture.

LOVE

Your Kidnappers.

Harry: Just being stuck here with you two is enough torture and torment to last for a lifetime.

Sarah: Shut your hole Potter . . .we will be happy if Dumbledore doesn't crumple the paper and forget about you. Gods, you are so annoying that I am considering killing you and being over with it.

Andrea: just gag him again.

Sarah: You do it and get the rest of them up. We need to start the other letters.

Andrea: Ok *goes and gags Harry and pulls chairs up*.

Sarah: OK! * pops a couple pixie sticks in her mouth * WEEEEEEE!!!! Ok so who next. Why don't we go with the Mudblood? * throws shoe at Hermione and starts to run round room *.

Andrea: Ok then Hermione.... Ok...I wanna pixie stick too! * eats a few pixie sticks * Wheee!

Sarah: Good, now that we are high . . . *cough* I mean now that we are full of sugar, we can get started on the ransoms. Ahem!!! * Clears throat *.

Andrea: Right...so who we writing it to, for the Mudblood over there?

Sarah: Right * throws other shoe * TWACK!!!! * hits Draco instead * OH MY GOD!!!! * runs to Draco and starts to comfort him * I AM LIKE SOO SORRY!!!!!!!!!.

Andrea: Good job Sarah! *sarcastic *.

Sarah: Well at least I hit close to my target, unlike you. You wouldn't be able to hit her or him with a garbage can * still looking at Draco and comforting him *. Besides, I get to comfort him now. HEHEHE!!!! *stares dreamily at Draco *.

Andrea: Hey! get away from him! * tackles Sarah *

Sarah: NO!!! HE'S mine. * throws Andrea across room* EHEHEHE!!!!, and he's been hurt so ha!!! *starts to hug Draco*

Andrea: Owww.... * glares at Sarah and starts chucking things at her *

Sarah: * stops objects mid fly * Ok . . .. STOP!!!!! WE CAN share him !!!!! Or he can help us . . . after all he is a Slytherin. Anyway back to business . . .. * takes another paper out *

Dear Mr. & Mrs. Mudblood:

We are unfortunate to inform you that our sniper and spy made a terrible mistake in kidnapping your daughter. We are very unfortunate to have her. At first we were going to kill her and get it over with. But then we decide otherwise. We first want to know if you want us to do it for you to save you the trouble. So that is why we are writing you this letter. If you like we can mail her to you in pieces. It's not like she is worth anything. Like come on. A filthy good for nothing, snobbish ass hole, bookworm Mudblood is not worth anything or the least bit needed.

Andrea: Uhhh...so what are we gonna get from her parents? Money?

Sarah: YUP!!!!!

Andrea: Oooooo . . . . . how much money? I didn't think that she's rich...* glared at Hermione and thinks of chucking things at her now *.

Sarah: Umm . . . . . Mudblood you rich? * engages the Mudblood *.

Hermione: WHY THE HELL SHOULD I TELL YOU ANYTHING! . . . . . * TWACK AND CRASH!! * Andrea chucks a chair at her * OWW!!!. What the hell was that for. * Andrea lifts other chair * Ok Ok, yes we are rich. Happy.

Sarah: OK . . . Man how much you want from them?

Andrea: Hmmm . . . how bout all they have?

Sarah: Um, we do want them to actually be able to afford to come and get her you know.

Andrea: Right . . . . . how about 3/4 of what they have then?

Sarah: Which would be how much . . . and um . . . in what currency do you want it to be in . . . . . pounds, dollars, gallons, what?

Andrea: They're muggles Sarah! I don't think that they have wizard money.

Sarah: Well they do have a freaken witch, don't they!

Andrea: True, but she's poor in wizard world isn't she? I mean . . . Harry pays for all the stuff.

Hermione: Harry does not pay for all my purchases. I have my own money thank you very much. * huff *.

Sarah: Sure, so dollars then?

Andrea: Yeah, we can get galleons from Malfoy.

Sarah: Aww!! But look at him he is so cute * sigh *. Well anyway maybe we should ungag them all so we can at least find out if their families give a damn about then. * looks at Ron *.

Andrea: What we gonna ask for bum-boy over here?

Sarah: Well I really don't know. His family can't even afford to buy him any clothes. Whose are they, Bill's? Hold on need to finish Mudbloods letter.

Andrea: Okey Dokey.

Ok anyway, well let's see. Considering that you are muggles, what we would like from you for you filthy daughter, is about three fourths of your money. And trust us, we know how much there should be. Your daughter told us. If our demands are not fulfilled then we will be inflicting serious torture on your daughter.

Sincerely

Your Beloved Kidnappers.

Andrea: Nice...

Sarah: Thanks. Well hehehe. . . I have lots of experience in this field.

Andrea: Ok then...so who's next?

Draco: Just wait till my father hears of this. He will not be pleased. You'll see. There will be Ministry officials surrounding this place. They will be here as soon as he gets the letter. If they won't help, my father will ask some of his friends. And you know that he is a Death Eater. They'll have this place surrounded in minutes.

Andrea: We'll see about that.

Draco: WHAT THE HELL IS THAT SUPPOST TO MEAN!!!!!!. * started to glare *

Andrea: What do you think it means? * looks out windows and sees something sneaking up on Sarah's room * Uhh....?

ALL: What?

Andrea: Sarah...what are those? * points at things outside *

Sarah: What the hell are you talking about. * looks out window and see hellhounds * Umm . . . HOLY CRAP. WHAT THE FUCK ARE THEY DOING HERE!!!!!!!. * starts to panic *.

Andrea: WHAT ARE THEY? Did Malfoy already send Dementors after us?

Sarah: How can he, if we didn't even send the letter. . . or write it?

Andrea: I know! Then what the hell are those!? *Andrea starts to run around freaking out *.

Sarah: If I knew, would I be panicking and running around the room? I think they are either Death Eaters or Hellhounds.

Andrea: *stops running around * Ohh...and that's soooooo much better than Dementors because...?

Draco: I told you my dad would send them after you. * smirks triumphantly *.

Sarah: Who or what the hell are they and how can you tell your dad to send them after us if he doesn't even know who kidnapped you?

Andrea: Yeah...plus your dad can shove his pimp cane up his...AAAUUUGGGHHH!!!! * around 5 hellhounds leap into the room through an open window *.

Sarah: AHHHHH!!!! Ok so they aren't Death Eaters. Thought so, cause why would they be here. Unless we forgot a meeting. So now what the hell do we do about these? * points to hell hound *.

Andrea: We forgot a Death Eater meeting? * flips through calendar* Ohh...so we did...crap...feed them something...like Ron or something.

* Ron starts freaking out but is still bound to chair so he falls over once again* * hellhounds turn on him *

Sarah: Umm . . . . . we missed a meeting. Damn. Maybe that's why they're here. * looks at hellhounds *.

Hermione: RON NO!!!!!!!. * starts to move chair to get to Ron before creepy ass hellhounds do *.

Andrea: So what we supposed to do now? I guess we're lucky that Voldemort didn't come here himself.

*Hermione crashes to the floor trying to protect Ron*

Harry: Hermione!! Ron!!! Nooo!!! * blood hounds go after both Hermione and Ron*

Sarah: DON'T SAY THAT OR HE WILL!!!!! Would you stop trying to protect each other. This is no time to show your affections for each other.

* Draco is on the floor, rolling around with laughter at what is going on *.

Sarah: Ok so what do we do now? How are we going to get them out of here? Ummm . . . Why don't we try and tell Voldie that we will be at the meeting and we can sacrifice Ron or the Mudblood as an apology gift.

Andrea: Sure . . . . .you think that the hounds have a note or something? *looking over at the hounds from a VERY safe distance *.

Sarah: Maybe, but where the HELL would it go. Like they are made out of fire and I don't think that a piece of paper can last that long.

Andrea: You never know what Voldie's making you know...hey! There's something! * points at a hound's collar that hasn't been engulfed in flames *.

Sarah: Umm, fine you saw it you can get it . . . * pushes Andrea forward * Go on.

Ron, Hermione and Harry: Umm, Hello can you HELP us over HERE!!!!!

Andrea: SHUT UP!! Uhhh....getting thing from hound huh? Uhh . . . .what do we have as bait?

Draco: Well you can use the Mudblood or Weasel . . . Of course u can't use me cause I am to handsome and wealthy.

Andrea: Hmmm...you are so right! You ARE really really cute! So what you think Sarah?

Sarah: HE is definitely cute . . . no scratch that he is SOOOO hot . . . *stares at Draco and starts to drool *

Andrea: Yea, I know...but ummm . . . *sweat drops* I was asking you about what you think we should use as bait...Mudblood or Weasel?

Sarah: Huh!!! What!! . . . * looks around * . . . . OH YA!!!!. Why don't we just give them some meat. * throws a steak at the hounds, and keeps looking at Draco *.

* Hounds run after steak *.

Andrea: Man...I don't get to cut off their fingers or nothing...* glares at Hermione and Ron * o well...* walks slowly to one of the hounds and attempts to take out what is stuck to its collar *.

Sarah: BOO!!!! * chucks book at Andrea to scare her *.

*book hits her smack on the head as she falls onto the hell hound*

Andrea: HOLY SHIT!!!!! OOOOWWWWWWWWWW!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Sarah: Umm . . . Oops sorry . . . . .umm did you get that, what ever it was on the collar? * looks innocent *

Andrea: You...are...so...dead . . . * has burn marks all over her* but ya I got the thing and your opening it . . . . . * hands Sarah a howler...a REALLY BIG howler *.

Sarah: * sigh * I guess I deserve that. * takes howler and begins to open it *

WHERE THE HELL ARE YOU TWO! IF YOU AREN'T HERE WITHIN THEN NEXT 10 MIN, I WILL BE SENDING SOMETHING MUCH WORSE THEN THE BLOODY HELLHOUNDS. OH AND YOU REALLY BETTER HOPE THAT YOU DON'T FIND OUT WHAT I HAVE IN STORE FOR YOU TWO. THIS IS THE 2^ND TIME THAT YOU'VE HAVEN'T SHOWN UP FOR A MEETING. I AM BEGINNING TO QUESTION WHERE YOUR LOYALTY LIES. LIKE I SAID I AM NOT PLEASED. SO GET YOUR MISERABLE ASSES OVER HERE NOW OR I'LL INFLICT PAIN WORSE THEN THE CRUSIO ON YOU TWO!!!

Sarah: W-well . . . . . t-that wasn't s-so b-bad * starts to shake *. Ok I had worse . . . Umm we'd better go before he opens hell and it swallows us.

Andrea: Umm...ya...What are we gonna do bout them *points at people* and them? * points at hellhounds *.

Sarah: Ok hellhounds out... and we should gag the others and make sure they won't get away. * grabs cloak off coat rack *.

Andrea: Ok...let's go before he burns down the house.

Sarah: Ok . . . * takes out wand and points it at herself and with a " pop" they leave*.

What will happen when they get to the meeting?

Will the hostages get out?

Find out next chapter, and plz review..