Encounter

Encounter

-

Usually, Lily Evans wasn't the kind of person to go around breaking rules. Especially those that involved walking in the Forbidden Forest...

Yet, that was exactly what she was doing. She hadn't intended to wander far in, at least not today; the paths that led around the forest were clearly defined and she had even turned her feet onto the path that led back towards Hogwarts castle before she had paused to glance at the trees that stood beside her. Usually, they were dark and intimidating; they stood guard over the entrance to the forest like silent, leering watchmen. However, as autumn approached, the leaves began to lose their color, taking on shades that were much warmer before they fell to the ground, and Lily glanced at them longingly as she stood on the path.

The colors fluttered down from the trees with the wind. They rustled, whispering secrets to one another and around Lily as she watched them. The forest had an odd, alluring feel about it; it spoke of nature's little concealed miracles and the wind tugged at Lily's robes, beckoning her to join it in frolicking in the woods.

But she merely laughed when the thought crossed her mind.

A clump of flowers waved gently in the breeze. They stood out, white against all the garish color that was the forest, and maybe that was what caught her attention. She took a couple of hesitant steps off the path and knelt to look at the flowers; they danced prettily in the breeze, delicate white petals that Lily couldn't really identify, but appreciated all the same. They were her weakness; she always told herself she wouldn't follow the flowers, wouldn't glance at the butterflies that seemed to hang in the air lazily, waiting for her.

But she always lost out against the simple appeal of Mother Nature.

She looked further along the barely-trodden path that led into the forest, watching the white heads bobbling in the wind, then turned to glance at the castle in the distance. Comparisons were inevitable when one was presented with the two, and Lily had often compared them until she wasn't sure why she had begun the soundless debate in her head in the first place. Still, only one could win the argument today... one slight tip of the scales in favor of responsibility, or of rebellion.

Somehow, the magnificence of Hogwarts school -or, at least, the castle itself- seemed to pale when she stood next to the forest; the dull gray turrets were no match for the vibrant colors she had waited a year to see. Again, the wind rushed around her, and Lily looked towards the entrance to the forest, back to the castle, and then...

She smiled at the little white flowers as she stood up, glancing about her. As soon as she was sure that no one was watching, she quickly followed the path, letting a soft laugh escape her lips.

It wasn't much of a rebellion, but for her, escaping into the forest always felt incredibly sweet.

*

There was a clearing in the forest Lily always went to; it was circular, with only two spaces where someone might squeeze through to get in. She was sure that no one knew about this particular place- well, maybe Hagrid did- it was so secluded. She had discovered it in her third year, and had been coming back whenever she could, just to sit on the roots of the trees and watch everything around her.

There were delights in nature that she couldn't find anywhere else on the grounds. She could watch as birds flitted from tree to tree while she sat, absolutely still, or as a squirrel scrambled up into a hole to stash away food for the winter.

Or she could just watch the color in the clearing and feel happy. She liked the castle, but sometimes it felt too dark; cooped up, she would long to just rush through the leaves and feel the wind as it ran fingers through her tangled hair. She would long for the blazing color that fell from the trees and the tingling of her skin as the chill from the air danced over her.

Of course, that wasn't the Lily Evans most people knew, so most of the time she controlled herself, taking silent pleasure in the wind that blew across her face from the classroom windows, and imagining she was here.

Of course, it was nowhere as good as the real thing.

And of course... now that she was here, she couldn't be bothered about anything else. She walked into the clearing, off the flower-path she had followed to get there, breathing in the autumn air deeply. The leaves cracked under her feet and she gazed up, into the trees, tilting her head to the side as she strained her ears to catch a hint of the familiar birdsong.

But.

Something was off, today. She waited... but the birds did not call from their trees. The wind blew lightly around the clearing, but the sound was empty, echoing; something was wrong in Lily's little glade that she could sense, but didn't know about, and she stood in the silence, wondering.

A loud snort from somewhere distracted her. Lily whirled around, immediately plunging her hand into her pocket; in her mind, she ran over excuses that she had thought of long ago if she should be caught. She could hear the sound of something crashing through the undergrowth, and of heavy breathing, and she moved a step back, muscles tensing. She glanced over her shoulder, gauging the distance between her and the exit of the clearing; she hadn't wandered too far in, maybe she should run and hide behind the trees, just in case...

A sudden movement detracted her, and she stared hard at the spot where it seemed to have come from. The next second, something erupted into the clearing; an animal, a very large animal hurtled through the gap in the trees, and Lily gasped as she jumped back out of instinct.

She had heard the story of the stags that lived in the forest, proud creatures that ran completely wild and were fiercely protective of the territory they walked over, but she had always laughed and pushed them from her mind. Of course, stories like those have a nasty habit of coming back, if only to prove their validity.

The stag landed lightly on the leaves, hooves making only the slightest sound, brown coat gleaming where the sun fell over it. It was still breathing heavily, looking back to where it came from as if it had been running from something. It seemed to glance at her temporarily, rooting her to the spot, but then it turned and put its nose down, amidst the leaves, and Lily let out the breath she hadn't known she had been holding.

Lily stood quite still as she watched the animal ferreting around. In her pocket, her hand was tightened around her wand and she nervously looked around to see if there was anyone else nearby. Apart from a bird chirruping loudly from a branch overhead, there was neither sight, nor sound, of any living creature apart from herself and the stag.

'Great. Just great,' she thought. While she knew that the stag presently wasn't a danger to her, the idea of being in the immediate vicinity of such a large animal wasn't exactly settling either. Especially one that could use the antlers that sat upon its head as a weapon if it decided to charge her at any time.

Instinctively, she moved back, trying her best to make as little sound as possible amongst the fallen and crumbling leaves. She moved slowly, watching the animal all the while, her face as passive as she could manage but her eyes darting about as she looked for the easiest way out of the clearing. She was thankful that she seemed to have gone unnoticed so far; the stag was snuffling amongst the leaves at the far end of the clearing and paying her no heed at all.

Lily was almost out of the glade when a twig cracked under her shoes. She froze. The sound seemed to echo unnaturally in the space around her, a loud crack! that would have ordinarily gone unnoticed in any other situation, but now sounded deafening. The bird in the tree took flight, twittering madly as it flew away, and the buck gave a snort as it raised its head and stared after it. Lily glanced at the sky above in despair, feeling all processes of rational thought beginning to flutter away with every passing second, and she tried to push down the inevitable traces of panic that were beginning to rush through her. She knew she had to get out, out of the clearing, out of the forest, but her feet felt heavy, almost as if they were glued to the ground. Every small movement, even blinking, seemed to be torturous as she watched the stag's dark eyes travel from the spot in the sky the bird had disappeared into, over the tops of the trees, skimming down the trunks and then settling on her.

The leaves rustled as the wind blew them from their branches, and Lily shivered, despite the heat flaring up in her cheeks and the growing dampness over her skin. The stag was still gazing at her, the large, liquid eyes oddly unnerving, the nostrils flaring slightly with every breath. Still, despite every instinct that was screaming at her to get the hell away from the animal, and as fast as she could, she didn't move. She couldn't move. She could actually feel her blood pounding its way through her body, the steady thump thump thump beating away under her skin. She fought against the urge to just turn tail and run, for she knew she would never be able to outrun such a powerful animal, especially not in the forest... her best bet was to stay where she was and hope that it would go away, or else try to defend herself if it made up its mind to attack.

'Don't panic...don't panic... if I don't move, maybe it won't see me,' she tried to reassure herself. 'Thank goodness that I'm downwind from it... at least it won't be able to smell me...'

The stag snorted again, almost as if it had heard her thoughts and in an effort to mock them, had started towards her slowly. Lily swallowed heavily. Her right hand shook as she pulled out her wand, her fingers slipping on the polished wood. She grasped it firmly, but it still seemed too hard to hold, the combination of nervous trembling and sweaty palms forcing her to take it in both hands as she raised it to take aim. Still, the stag came towards her, undeterred. It made almost no noise as it stalked through the leaves, head held high, like a majestic king. Lily could feel the confidence radiating off it, a stark contrast to her own fear, and she steadied her arms with her wand held in front of her, feeling foolish.

'I'm going to be charged by a 200-pound buck and my only defense is a piece of wood,' she thought miserably. The next second, she felt her breath hitch in her throat as she realized that the stag's head was lowered and it was once again snuffling along the forest floor... and that the antlers were pointed directly at her. She let out a small yelp, clapping one hand over her mouth as she struggled to keep her wand steady in the other. The buck looked at her quizzically, snapping its magnificent head up at the sudden sound before lazily taking a step forward.

Lily took a step backwards, eager to put more distance between her and the animal, but for that one step, the stag took two. She again tried to move away, only to have the little space that had remained between her and the buck closed off as it began to trot towards her. It was coming closer, and Lily screamed, a soft scream that only the buck and the bushes could hear.

All last vestiges of control vanished from her mind. The little coherent thought that she had left was barely enough for her to register that if she didn't do something, she only had a few seconds before the animal would be upon her. She was dimly aware of holding her own wand in front of her, trying to focus it, but when she opened her mouth, only a strangled cry came out. Her mind went completely blank, panic and instinct taking over her senses. She struggled to remember a spell, any spell, that might help her, almost gasping out the words without even knowing what they were.

'Incendio!'

The flames shot from her wand towards the stag. Almost as soon as the words of the hex were out of her mouth, the foggy fear that had settled over her mind seemed to lift a little, and she watched in mute horror as the streak of blue light left her wand and broke through the crisp autumn air. The fiery ray shot straight past the buck and went on, hitting a tree on the far end of the clearing and mercifully, being so weak that it did not set it alight but only made the wood smolder. For a second, she felt the sweet relief run through her like cool water over her skin... but that was before she noticed the fresh, open burn that marked where her spell had grazed the side of the buck's face.

Lily trembled violently as the stag threw its head back and gave out a low, anguished cry that shook the trees. Her wand slipped from her hand, and even though she made an attempt to catch it, she fumbled and it slid between her fingertips and vanished among the leaves that littered the ground. The temporary relief she had felt was gone, replaced by a more tangible fear that intensified painfully as she saw the stag glaring at her, its eyes narrowed in what looked like an accusatory glance. She held her breath as she waited for it to move, for it to lower its head and skewer her with its antlers, sticking out prong-like from its head, but instead, it turned and cantered through to the other side of the clearing. Turning, it gazed at her reproachfully, flanks heaving and nostrils flaring, and Lily drew a ragged breath.

She had at least expected it to charge at her after she had injured it. The burn was ugly, and she imagined that it must be painful for the animal, and over her fear, another emotion rose... one that made her feel sorry that she had even cast the spell at all. If anything, she felt disgusted with herself for attacking the animal, even if she was still afraid of it. She glanced at the ground, then up again, watching the stag keenly for any movement, but also straining her eyes so she could see the intensity of the wound she had inflicted.

The only sound that filled her ears now was of the animal: heavy breathing, she didn't know if it was from pain or from fright. The sound weighed upon her heavily; every breath she heard seemed to carry a voice, accusing her, chiding her... a disappointed voice that made her feel foolish, but at the same time, eager to make amends.

Lily took a step forward. The leaves crunched loudly under her shoes, and she tensed, eyes never leaving the animal that stood at the other end of the clearing.

But it did not move at all.

She took another step, this time willing herself to try and have more confidence, only flinching slightly as she saw the buck turn so that it faced her once again. She bit her lip, unsure; the idea of gaining the animal's trust again seemed appealing, if a little odd. Again, she felt as if someone was whispering to her, a voice being carried on the buck's breath and flowing along with the wind. This time it was reassuring, almost comforting, but when she tried to place a person to the voice, the words vanished as if she had just been imagining them.

She took a deep breath. Whatever she had heard, whatever she felt, she had no idea, but the lure of the animal seemed irresistible, drawing her closer despite her fear. Besides, she felt that she wouldn't be able to live with herself if she didn't at least try...

'Sorry,' she whispered more to the air around her than anything else. 'I know that you won't understand, but... er... I didn't really want to... er... I didn't mean to hurt you.'

Even to herself, she sounded quite stupid.

She could hear a voice in the back of her mind, the voice of the Care of Magical Creatures teacher telling her that while some people believed that it was possible for animals to understand human speech, it was generally codswallop, but she pushed it away, not willing to listen. She started slightly as the animal began to come towards her again, its gait slow and measured, almost distrustful, but willed herself to stay still, determined not to lose her head again.

The buck sniffed at the air as it crossed the clearing. Lily swallowed as she watched it, still wary, but less afraid than she had been only moments before. It now stood directly in front of her, and she could see its nostrils quivering, the eyes gazing at her in a look that she would have liked to interpret as affection if she hadn't known better.

The idea brought a shaky, soft smile to her lips despite herself.

It stopped only a meter or so away from her, so close that she could inhale the scent of the animal, soft and earthen and rather unlike the scents of any of the creatures she had ever come across. It was a smell that seemed so vaguely familiar, and a tiny flicker rose up within Lily, one that she could barely recognize, but welcomed all the same. It wasn't quite relief, but she found herself able to breathe again, her fear thawing slightly as she realized that if the stag hadn't charged by now, there was a possibility that she wasn't going to be attacked... if anything, the curious behavior of the buck made her bolder, and she extended a shaking hand to it. The stag nuzzled her outstretched hand, and she could feel the rush of hot air against her skin as it exhaled, tickling her, and she laughed nervously.

'So... am I forgiven?' she asked the stag, her voice sounding weak, even to her own ears. She gazed at it curiously as it took a step forward, gasping a little when it seemed to nod its head subtly. She blinked, astonished; the stag had definitely nodded, but it couldn't really understand her... could it?

'Evans, you're going mental,' she chided herself. 'Talking to a stag...'

Another hot gust of air blew over her hand as the buck snorted. Lily quickly withdrew her hand, only letting her fingers graze over its face lightly as she did so. From so close, the animal seemed less frightening than impressive, and she took a moment to appreciate it. It stood completely still, dignified despite the burn that disfigured the left side of its face, magnificent antlers held high in pride. Its coat was a rich, deep brown, even all over except around the buck's eyes, where it lightened into fawn circles around each. It was enormous, bigger than any buck Lily had ever seen; when it stood, head raised in a sort of carefree arrogance, its antlers grazed the low-lying tree branches that she could not even reach.

Again, Lily stretched out her hand, this time more confident as she petted the stag on its nose. A warmth surged through her; it was a giddy, exhilarating feeling, overwhelming... it radiated from the stag, an adoration, an admiration that she could discern, but one that she also felt within herself... almost as if she had overstepped some hidden boundary of a world she knew nothing about. Only once before had she felt this; it was almost as if she was taking her first steps in the Wizarding world again, surrounded by wonder and filled with awe. She felt an almost childlike happiness bubbling inside her, a happiness that she couldn't explain, but wasn't sure she wanted to anyway. She laughed again, but this time it was sincere and it filled the clearing, a welcome sound that seemed to make the overhanging gloom lift. She stroked the stag's coat, shifting slightly as she reached up to run her fingers over its back affectionately.

'You're quite the handsome young devil,' she murmured, past caring if the animal understood her or not. On impulse, she rested her head against the buck's side, one arm draped over its back and the other stroking its neck. She could feel it breathing, its body rising and falling beneath her with a heavy rumble that sounded, oddly, like a contented sigh.

The stag lowered its head, playing with the leaves that covered the ground. Lily watched it idly, still leaning against it. She could see it nosing amongst the leaves, blowing a few of them up into the air playfully, and she giggled. It looked at her, dark eyes failing to hide a twinkle before returning to snuffling along the ground, almost as if it was searching for something. She shifted slightly as she tried to see what it had found; her eyes widened slightly as it raised its head, a long stick in its mouth.

Her wand.

Lily stared.

'You found my wand,' she said faintly, slightly surprised. She vaguely recalled dropping it in her fear, but had forgotten about it in the past few minutes. She stretched out her hand automatically to take it from the animal. Almost immediately, she felt it draw away from her, the warmth disappearing from her side, and she frowned.

'Okay, now, give it here,' she said, trying to keep her voice even. She reached out for her wand, but the buck took a couple of steps back so that it was just beyond her grasp and her fingertips only grazed the wood. It shook its head, snorting in a frolicsome manner. Lily rolled her eyes. Obviously, the stag though that she was playing some game, and while she ordinarily wouldn't have minded, she wanted her wand back.

She cautiously took a couple of steps forward, only to find that the animal was mirroring her actions perfectly, keeping just enough distance between them so that the wand was tantalizingly out of her reach. She tried stepping to the side to confuse it, but it seemed to have anticipated her move and it moved in the opposite direction, putting even more distance between them. She gave a frustrated sigh, reaching up to tuck a few flyaway strands of her hair behind her ears.

'Look, just give me... argh! It's not like you understand!'

In desperation, Lily lunged at the stag. She felt her fingers closing around the end of the wand, and she grinned triumphantly up at the animal. The next second, the wand had been wrenched from her grasp, and she found herself falling forwards. Her arms shot out instinctively to break her fall, and she felt the skin on her palms breaking as they scraped against the ground. Her hair fell over her face and a sharp pain burst through her knee as it made contact with a stone. She could hear the leaves crunching under the stag's hooves, hear its victorious bellow echoing in her ears, and she pushed herself to her feet angrily, dusting her hands against her robes and flipping her hair out of her eyes. She winced at the tingling pain that shot through her hands, at the way it hurt when she straightened her knee, but pushed it away as she glanced about.

The animal was still cantering around, prancing away from her. It snorted when it saw her, and Lily narrowed her eyes at it, irritated. For all of two seconds, they both stared at each other, defiance and exasperation mingling, as if both were daring the other to look away first.

She held out her hand for the wand, but even as she began to reach out, the animal turned away.

'Wait! Stop... come back!'

Without thinking, she gave chase, but she was too slow; the stag's more powerful legs carried it out of the clearing in a blur of brown amongst the red and gold leaves. It had disappeared by the time Lily reached the edge of the glade... taking her wand with it.

*

The common room was crowded; Lily muttered angrily under her breath as the portrait swung open. She could feel a headache coming on, and the noise that exploded into the corridor around her felt like a tangible slap across the face. She tramped through the portrait hole, face firmly set in a frown.

'Oi, Evans!'

'Oh, no...' Lily groaned inwardly as she recognized the voice. She was not in the mood to talk to anyone right now, all she wanted to do was to go up to the dormitory and think about her encounter in the forest, but of course she had to be harassed by Sirius Black and his little crew.

'And where there's Black... that nitwit Potter's going to be, leading the way.'

'Oi!' he yelled again, and Lily spun on her heel to face him. She glared as she caught sight of him, waving cheerily from an armchair by the fire.

'What is it?' she called out, her voice barely rising above the din. When Sirius cupped a hand behind his ear in an imitation of someone very hard of hearing, she sighed and began to jostle her way through a bunch of third year girls who had suddenly descended the staircase from the dormitories. She could feel a steady throbbing building up at her temples, and her knee hurt where she had knocked it in the forest.

It was very reluctantly that she walked up to the small group huddled by the fire.

'Evans, have you-' Sirius began, but Lily raised her hand tiredly to cut him off. She glanced around at the three boys who looked up at her and her eyebrows knitted together as her face settled into an even harsher frown.

'Remus, could you cover my duties tonight?' she asked, letting her eyes sweep around suspiciously before looking at him. Remus was staring at her, his eyes unblinking, and she tutted impatiently as Sirius poked him in the side.

'Huh? Sorry, I was just... thinking...' Remus trailed off, grinning sheepishly. Lily rolled her eyes at him.

'Well? Can you take duty for me tonight? I think I have a headache from hell coming on,' she said, raising her hands to her temples and grimacing. She could feel the pulsing, not yet too painful but slowly building up, and she squeezed her eyes shut in an effort to lessen the irritation.

When she opened them again, the three were still staring at her. She coughed lightly, glaring, and Remus immediately looked away, reaching out to smack the boy next to him upside the head.

'Peter!'

'Wha- oh!' Peter squeaked, a streak of red rising in his cheeks that Lily was sure had nothing to do with the heat from the fire. He scratched his head as he glanced to the side, where Sirius was still staring at Lily, unabashedly.

'What are you staring at?' she demanded, wincing as someone shouted loudly across the common room and her head hurt more. 'Well?'

'Nothing, nothing,' Sirius replied hurriedly, but not before she had seen the smirk that made its way across his face. She glowered at him, ignoring the snickering that Peter was trying to cover up as he hid behind the thick book he was holding up or Remus's rather violent, but obviously fake coughing fit.

'Out with it!'

'Well, I was just wondering where you had been to... you look quite a sight, I must say,' Sirius drawled, an impish grin spreading across his face as he leant forward and picked off a leaf that was stuck to the front of Lily's robes. He twirled it for a few seconds before handing it to her. Lily groaned, hurriedly beginning to dust off her robes.

'I... fell,' she mumbled, brushing at some dirt that clung stubbornly to the material. 'I was taking a walk and... I dropped my wand and tripped somewhere when I was looking for it.'

She didn't miss the quick look Sirius shot at the other two, or Peter's eyes, shining even if the rest of his face was fixed in a passive expression. She wondered where their missing element was... it wasn't like James Potter to be off somewhere while the rest of his clique hung around the common room. She opened her mouth to ask where he was, but shut it again as she heard a voice addressing her.

'Ah... where did you lose it?' Peter asked, slamming the book and leaning forwards in his seat.

'Er... near the forest, but-'

Sirius waved a hand dismissively as he cleared his throat. 'It'll turn up... sometime. Anyway,' he said, 'you seen James around anywhere?'

Lily raised an eyebrow at him as she crossed her arms across her chest. 'That was exactly what I wanted to ask you.'

For a second, she was sure that she had seen a shadow cross each of the three faces, but when she looked again, it was only Remus who looked anxious; Sirius was as calm as ever, and Peter had flipped open his book again.

'Well... he didn't come down to dinner, and no one's seen him since after our last class, so we were just wondering,' Remus said quietly, and Lily thought that she could detect an underlying uneasiness in his voice.

'No doubt he's got a detention.'

'No, he didn't have one for tonight,' Remus muttered, glancing at the fire before standing up. 'I'd better go, considering I have double duty.'

'Oh. Yeah... thanks,' Lily said, a little slowly. Her head was really beginning to ache now.

'No problem,' Remus replied as he wove his way through the throngs of people in the common room and disappeared. Lily watched his back distractedly as he disappeared; next to her, Sirius rose from his seat and beckoned to Peter. The two of them slipped away quietly, so when Lily turned around she found herself faced with three empty armchairs that looked rather comfortable, even if they still bore the dents of having people sat in them recently. She slid into the one nearest to her, cringing as a jolt of pain shot through her knee. The din seemed to reduce a little as a large group of boys tramped up the stairs to their dormitory, and Lily vaguely thought about going to bed, but she reckoned that she'd leave after a few more minutes down here.

Besides, the chair was awfully comfortable... the fire was warm and it was so much easier to just stay put and watch the last rays of light disappearing outside, to contemplate the deep shadows of twilight as they swallowed the Forbidden Forest, to gaze at the students huddled in groups.

But even though she watched them, she didn't see the other students, or the forest, or even the dying day. She saw almost nothing but a royal stag, standing in front of her. When she closed her eyes, she could still breathe in the earthen scent of the animal. It held her wand in its mouth. The sunlight danced over it, dappling the deep brown of its coat. Its face was turned away from her, so she could not see the burn, and it stood on a carpet of gold and red leaves. As she watched, a boy came walking into the clearing where it was. She recognized the messy hair and she scowled: what was James Potter doing, intruding on her subconscious? She wanted to start up towards him, but she felt so heavy... she couldn't move at all... she wanted to yell at him as he stretched out his hand and patted the stag's head, as he ran his fingers over the antlers, but her voice refused to come out. She watched furiously as the stag dropped her wand in James's hand, and he turned towards her, as if seeing her for the first time...

But then she realized that she wasn't looking at James at all. The boy who stared at her had green eyes, like her own, staring out from a face that could have belonged to James Potter, but didn't. He wasn't extremely tall, and his robe hung off him in a manner that suggested that he was rather thin, but he walked toward her confidently, a trace of pride in his movements that was so reticent of James that Lily held her breath. She could hear his footsteps, crunching through the leaves, and with every step, the scent of the buck traveled with him, growing stronger and stronger. He fingered the wand in his hand gently, glancing at it before he looked back at her, and a small smile grew on his lips. He stopped only a foot or so away from her, raising his hand to her, palm up and with the wand lying on it.

'Here's your wand...' he said softly. Lily could sense that he had meant to say something more; she could see an unknown word dying on his lips, and a hesitance in his voice. She reached out for it, letting her fingers curl around her wand but still resting her hand in this boy's.

The stag gave a small snort, and Lily flinched. The boy laughed, stepping closer to her, and Lily tilted her head back so she could get a better look at his face. Merlin, he looked like James, if only with subtle differences. Behind the round frames of his glasses, however, his eyes were exactly the same color as hers, down to the little veins of gray that interspersed the green from the pupil outwards. He blinked, slowly, lashes fluttering for the barest of instants against his cheeks, but when he opened them, the green had faded into hazel. The rich colors of the clearing had vanished in a hazy whirl of black, and she felt rough fingers closed over her hand.

She blinked rapidly, wondering why she suddenly felt so cold, why she was suddenly sitting and why a shadowy face leered out of the darkness at her, a face that had some sort of orange goo plastered over half of it. She sucked in a breath, her first instinct being to scream, but she found a hand clapped firmly over her mouth, and a harsh whisper broke the uneasy silence.

'Hush, Evans!'

Lily peered at the face in front of her, her eyes getting used to the darkness so that now she could make out that James Potter knelt in front of her. He had a curious expression on his face, and the skin below his left eye was covered by some sort of burn ointment. He wasn't wearing his glasses, and his eyes were screwed up, squinting heavily. One of his hands covered his mouth, and the other was curled around her hand. She could feel traces of her headache coming back, as well as an unwelcome stiffness in her neck; she had fallen asleep in the armchair in the common room and now her body was protesting at her every movement.

She tried to say something, but it was muffled by the hand over her mouth. James narrowed his eyes at her.

'D'you want to wake the whole house up?'

She would have gritted her teeth at him, had she been able to. Instead, she settled for a glare that she hoped was icy enough to scare him, as well as a loud 'Mmmmmph!'

'Right. I thought so,' James replied, slowly drawing his hand away. Lily opened her mouth to berate him loudly for... well, she'd think of what she was berating him for along the way... but she settled for merely hissing between clenched teeth as she noticed him put a finger to his lips.

'What the hell do you think you're doing, sneaking around at night, Potter?'

'Well, I was going to bed, actually,' he replied, abruptly standing up and letting her hands fall into her lap, 'when I saw you, conked out, and I just thought...' he trailed off, shrugging.

'That you'd scare the living daylights out of me, perhaps?'

'No,' James said, a sour tone creeping into his voice, 'I just wondered why you were asleep in the common room when most ordinary people are asleep in beds, in their dormitories.'

'Well, I-'

'Oh. And I thought you'd want your wand back.'

'Well, I- Hold on, how did you know I'd lost my wand?'

'I found it,' he muttered sullenly, 'and someone mentioned that you're the only person who's reported a lost wand so I thought it was yours. But if you'd rather not have it-'

'No, no! I...' Lily paused as she held up the wand to the little light that came in through the window. It reflected off the polished surface, and she could see that it was unmistakably hers; it even had slight scratches where supposed the buck had held it with its teeth. She clutched it protectively as she glanced up at James, who was now staring out the window with his hands in his pockets. She could still catch a lingering scent of soil and leaves hanging around him, almost like an aura, and she wondered...

'Where did you find it?'

'Huh?' James shook his head and turned to look at Lily, wincing slightly and raising his hand to his face to wipe a bit of the balm away.

'My wand. Where... where did you pick it up?'

'Oh. I, er... outside the Great Hall,' James said feebly. Again, he reached up to touch the left side of his face; Lily tutted impatiently and he stopped, his hand dropping to his side.

'Don't do that... you'll end up wiping all of it off.'

'But it's itchy!'

Lily chose not to respond to his last comment, more because the sound of James Potter whining like a first year was highly amusing than any other reason. Instead, she glanced at the left side of his face, at the orange paste she knew Madam Pomfrey only applied to severe burns, and again, she wondered.

'How did you end up burning your face, anyway?' Lily asked, trying not to sound too curious. She shot a longing look at the staircase that led up to the girls' dormitories before returning her attention to James. She allowed herself a small smile when she noticed that he was looking at the staircases himself, dropping it as soon as she saw him turn back to her. She saw a flicker of something uncertain pass through his eyes as he squinted through the darkness, so quick that she wasn't sure she had seen anything there at all.

'Potions accident... cauldron blew up in my face,' he said nonchalantly. 'Not mine, of course,' he hastened to add, and Lily could barely suppress the slight twinge of annoyance she felt as she recognized the familiar arrogance creeping back into his voice. For the past couple of minutes it had been noticeably lacking, almost leading her to believe that maybe James was trying to be half-way decent, but its return was now obvious, as well as irritating.

'Of course it wasn't,' she replied scathingly. 'Probably some poor sod's lying in the Hospital Wing because you tossed a firework into his cauldron, but you got away with just a splash, right, Potter?' she snapped at him, leaning back in the armchair.

In the little moonlight, the faint flush that appeared on James's face was barely noticeable, but it was there. She could see his eyes narrowing, despite the shadows that cloaked it, and he opened his mouth, but shut it again immediately as if he couldn't even be bothered to protest. He turned, shaking his head, and stalked off towards the staircases, his feet echoing on the floor of the common room. Lily watched him leave, biting her tongue.

She hadn't meant to speak so harshly; not out of consideration of James's feelings- if he has any that go beyond arrogance- but even as she watched him leave the common room, she suddenly felt the same guilt she had felt earlier that day, when she had wounded the stag.

'He didn't really deserve that,' she thought, suddenly feeling miserable. 'I'm getting to be just as bad as he is.'

The footsteps stopped, and Lily jerked her head up, only to find James gazing at her, one foot already resting on the bottom stair. In the little light, his eyes looked dark, reproachful, and Lily was forcibly reminded of the buck as she stared at him. She stood up from her seat, intending to apologize for her sharp remark of moments ago, but even as she took one step towards him, James waved a hand in the air dismissively.

'S'alright, Evans, I'll just pretend you didn't say that,' he said quietly, raising a hand to his face, but stopping at the last second and instead running it through his hair. He grinned softly. 'Just make sure you learn how to control those curses... you're quite the hex-happy person when you're scared,' he whispered and turned away from her, climbing up the stairs.

Lily remained, staring, wondering. She sighed, taking a step towards her own staircase, mulling everything over in her mind as she twirled her wand idly in her hand. A thought made her stop.

'Hold on... Potter doesn't even take Potions now!'

She pushed the thought from her mind. She'd probably overhear the whole story some time in the morning... these things never did remain secret. However, another niggling idea replaced it, almost immediately.

'Hex-happy? Did he... no, he couldn't have been there! He's probably just playing on my nerves. Again.'

She shook her head. Her eyes were beginning to close again, and she thought she heard faint laughter but she couldn't be sure. She dragged herself across the common room, but despite the sudden exhaustion she felt, she smiled.

And she hoped that in her dreams, she would hear the sound of leaves crushing beneath the hooves of a stag mingling with footsteps in her ears. And that she would wake up to the scent of pride and something as stable as the earth lingering in the air around her.

*

Fin

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