If I Were a Piece of Cheese...

If I were a piece of cheese: The Wedding.

Oh my goodness. Merlin's beard, I didn't think I'd have butterflies like this. Today at one pm I Draco Malfoy am to marry Ginny Weasley. It is so nerve wracking.

Get a grip Draco you're a Malfoy act cool and collected at all times.

Bloody Merlin now I'm talking to my self. Ouch! Zipped my... you know... into my trousers. May I repeat: OUCH!

It is twelve fifteen and I feel like ripping my -gorgeous--hair out by the roots. Everything that could possible go wrong has gone wrong. First I zipped little Draco into my trousers then the caterer cancelled and the emergency caterer is going to be thirty minutes late (!) then I caught my Adams apple in my robe neck (another ouch) then I got threatened by the Weasley twins once more and then... well you get the picture.

At least tonight ought to be fun. Honeymooning in Barbados! Courtesy of none other than: Mr Harry Potter himself. Merlin I hate how he can be nice to me after how I treated him at school.

Repeat after me: I must not go on another I hate 'perfect Potter' ramble.

Argh! I'm speaking to myself again. Dear Merlin, roll on one.

------*------

Oh my goodness. I'm marrying Draco Malfoy. What was I thinking? I'm too young to be tied down. Hmm... tied down eh?

Bugger! I can't believe I just thought that.

Am I ready?

Sexy underwear, check! Fantastically gorgeous wedding dress, check! Hair done, check, French manicure, check, make-up, check, jewellery, check, shoes, check, sombrero, no. Oh Merlin I don't have a sombrero! How can I get married without a sombrero?

Ok Ginny, get a grip. You don't need a sombrero. Everything's ready and in fifteen minutes you'll be Mrs Draco Malfoy. Oh Merlin, bloody hell I want out!

Maybe I shouldn't try to rationalise with myself or I'll end up going off the deep end.

------*------

Oh goodness, my baby's getting married. I shouldn't cry but I feel like I'm losing a part of me. What a darling Harry is booking them into a hotel in Barbados and agreeing to stay in the burrow until I get used to not having Ginny around. Sure I've got Fred and George but it's just not quite the same.

Oh Merlin five minutes to go, I'd better take my place.

------*------

Ginny looks amazing, I can't believe anyone that pretty would agree to marry me. Oh I can't wait till the Honeymoon. I wonder what she thinks about being tied up.

Shut up Draco and get the vows over with or you'll never know!

Thanks self you're really helpful-- please note the sarcasm!

------*------

Oh my goodness we're married. I am Ginny Malfoy. Wow, it'll take a while to get used to that. Honeymoon in T minus thirty minutes and counting.

Dear Merlin I hope I'm not really crap in bed. What if I am and he divorces me? How can I live without him?

Mental slap, calm down and let him do the work. After all he is Draco Malfoy.