If I Were a Piece of Cheese...

If I were a piece of cheese...

Today, on the third of September some year (which is yet another thing I forget) I have decided to admit my true feelings about a certain someone for whom my love is forbidden. I am not so much 'coming out of the closet' as I am 'coming out of Malfoy manor'.

After that idiot Potter decapitating Lord Voldemort (hey exaggeration isn't a crime) things were never the same at home. Despite Dumbledore pardoning Father as an act of 'true kindness' dear Lucius became nervy, withdrawn, a recluse. Until, on the fifth of February, he finally broke down and went completely nutty. Seven months on and I fear that I shall end up in St Mungo's closed ward, much like him, if I do not admit this now.

But soon after Father's departure for St Mungo's I took a fall. Albeit into the path of an oncoming spell (our family have been the target of much wrath since the down fall of old Volders) which gave me... err... um... MEMORY LOSS that's it! Memory loss! I keep forgetting the year, although I have a strange knack for remembering the day.

Back to my confession, I am in love! Love and Malfoys you say? HA! But it is true. And I fear that, were it not for my family already being so messed up, my confession could have destroyed us!

Shortly after my Mother's departure to join my Father in the closed ward after being hit with a crowd's (angry mob more like) worth of Cruacius curses I happened upon a pleasant sight. Her (WHAT? You thought I was GAY?) beautiful body, her soft flowing hair, her bright eyes, her fantastic arse (what? I like a bit of but, so sue me!).

Of course, before Potty came along and ruined everything, I could have had any girl I wanted. Now all girls want to do is throw eggs at me and tell me I'm an evil man (all because of my name, how shallow.) (OK so irony bites! Or...err...throws eggs apparently!). Perhaps that's what made her like me back?

It's what made me wonder: If I were a piece of cheese, would people still hate me? Hatred of an inanimate object is unfounded and profoundly stupid, but people still do hate inanimate objects. I would be one of them (if I were a piece of cheese)! Mark my words; I would be one of those hated inanimate objects.

I used to hate clowns! I wasn't scared of them (Malfoys never get scared) but I did hate them. That began after Mother gave me a clown teddy for my fifth birthday. I can still remember its big staring eyes following me around and round my room. I even threw it out of the window but the next morning there it was, back at the end of my bed, like nothing had happened. Now when I think about it logically Dobby must have brought it back up thinking I'd dropped it by accident, but at the time I was petrified!

Please excuse my procrastinating; you want to know who the girl is? The reason I called it 'coming out of Malfoy Manor'? The girl that I, Draco Malfoy, love is none other than: Ginny Weasley. If I have to I shall change my name for, to quote the genius that is Shakespeare:

"What's in a name? That which we call a rose, by any other name would smell as sweet."

And so I feel once again free from the burdens of secrecy! My only hope is that Ron takes the news better than Fred and George did (when Ginny told them I ended up with two black eyes, one from each! I hate twins!!).