Stormseeker: Unwanted Destiny

On Boxing Day, Rispy comes up to talk to me alone while I'm studying in my room late at night.

"Can I speak with you for a moment?" Rispy asks.

"Of course," I say. "Anytime. What's on your mind?"

"Are you intending on overthrowing the magical government, or taking it over from within?" Rispy asks.

I look at him with a touch of startlement. I hadn't realized he'd been paying that close of attention to what's going on inside this house, but I suppose it shouldn't surprise me. "Whichever turns out to be necessary. I would prefer to avoid too much bloodshed if at all possible."

Rispy gives a nod. "I have some concerns about your allies, however. The people you have allied yourself with seem to be the sorts who are worst toward my people."

"It's a holdover from the last war," I say. "I'm sure Tom has been trying to acquire better allies himself."

"The fact that you've allied yourself with the Dark Lord has me worried," Rispy says. "What assurance do I have that, if you do manage to take control of magical society, you'll actually support the welfare of my people?"

"You have my word on it," I say. "What other assurance can I give you?"

"Free me, and get the Fidelius Charm removed from this building," Rispy says.

"If that's what you really want, then so be it," I say with a touch of disappointment.

"I do," Rispy says.

I nod, and pull out a blue scarf from my bag. "Then you can consider yourself a free elf again."

Rispy takes the scarf from me, and says, "Thank you."

"I'll ask Tom in the morning if he knows a way to remove the charm," I say.

"Go see him now," Rispy says. "He's still awake. He's in the library."

"Alright," I say, getting up to head over there. I'm wearing my dragon pajamas, but I don't bother to change. I don't really care at the moment.

Tom isn't alone in the library, however. He's sitting at the table across from Cassie. They don't seem to notice my presence there at first. Probably didn't hear the door open over their raised voices.

"If you're trying to seduce me, Tom, I'm not interested!" Cassie snaps.

"Considering what we're offering you, you should try to be a little more--" Tom stops in mid-sentence as he sees me. "Ah, good evening."

"What's going on here?" I wonder.

"Ah, Cassiopeia and I were merely having a little conversation," Tom says.

"A little conversation?" Cassie practically shrieks. "You--"

"Calm down!" I say firmly.

"Calm down?" Cassie says. "Why should I calm down when this man thinks he can get into my robes now?"

Tom rolls his eyes, and says, "Believe me, Cassiopeia, that was not my intention."

I sigh. "Are we going to be unable to get along here?"

"I can get along fine," Cassie says. "But I will not be sexually harassed by this Mudblood!"

Tom snorts softly and says in annoyance, "I am a half-blood, thank you. And I'm the Heir of Slytherin!"

I rub my head. "Cassie, that's enough."

"But--" Cassie protests.

"Enough," I say. "I'm surprised to hear that from you. I will not put up with any blood purist bullshit in my house."

"But..." Cassie begins.

I shake my head. "Don't. Just don't."

Cassie sinks down in her chair and lets out a heavy sigh, looking down. "I'm sorry," she murmurs softly.

"Apology accepted," Tom says.

"Alright," I say, leaning forward against the table. "Now, Tom, what were you saying to Cassie?"

"I was trying to tell her that if we are to be traveling the multiverse together, then we should get along a little better," Tom says. "She, however, took this entirely the wrong way."

I put my face in my palm. "Nothing is ever easy," I mutter. "Why can't we all just get along?"

"I am willing to accommodate her for your sake," Tom says. "She makes you happy and you clearly enjoy her presence. I have no need to feel threatened by her. She, on the other hand, does not see things that way."

"You're damned right I don't," Cassie mutters. "You took my man away from me. You kidnapped him and coerced him into your grand schemes."

"That was his choice," Tom says.

"And I don't care about this whole war against the wizarding world you are trying to start!" Cassie says. "I wanted to finally have a chance to get married, have children, see them go off to Hogwarts themselves!"

"What about exploring the multiverse?" I say.

"It's an appealing idea," Cassie says. "But it can wait. I can afford to be patient. There's all of eternity to be had, isn't there?"

"Do you really want children?" I say.

"Yes. No. Maybe. I don't know," Cassie says. "It was one of the things I always regreted, long after it was too late to do anything about it. By the time I realized that I was going to die alone, I was already old and had spent my entire life doing magical research of one sort or another."

"I wouldn't call that a wasted life," Tom says.

Cassie shakes her head. "And my niece died, one grand-niece and my grand-nephew were imprisoned, another grand-niece disowned from the family, and my brother died, and my cousin... Narcissa was about the only family I had left, and she was with the Malfoys." She pauses and takes a deep breath, and looks at me. "And then you came along, and hope beyond hope, you gave me another chance at life. You never told me why you did it. You never asked anything of me for it."

"It was a whim," I say. "I didn't even realize I could do it, but I wanted to try. And I'm very glad that I did."

"And now... Now you offer me, what? Immortality, untold knowledge?" Cassie says. "How could I say no to that? I just..." She looks to Tom and punctuates her words with her finger. "I. Don't. Like. You."

"That's your prerogative," Tom says smoothly. "But do you think I wish to spend eternity with someone who insists on being so needlessly antagonistic toward me?"

"No," Cassie replies. "If I were you, I'd have thrown me out long ago. Or killed me. Or worse. Maybe gotten Lexen to hate me and then coerced him into torturing me to death."

Tom grins broadly at her. "It's clear what Lexen sees in you."

"I'm not sure if this should be considered a good thing or a bad thing," I say.

Tom goes on, "But tell me. What do you see in him? Was it just because he let you have a second chance to live?"

Cassie shakes her head. "Certainly not. I could be grateful for that, but it wouldn't have convinced me to give this whole... romance thing a chance. Aside from never having had a chance with it before."

"Are we talking about feelings now?" I say wryly. "You seem to have more difficulty with that than I do."

Cassie blushes a little. "You're not supposed to be more feminine than me, damn it."

"What does being feminine have to do with anything?" I say.

"Anyway," Cassie says with a snort. "You want to know what I see in him? I see a nice guy who is willing to go to extreme lengths to help others, and yet isn't blinded by the whole idea of 'light is good, dark is evil'. He sees things for what they are, and isn't willing to let anything get in his way when he sets his mind on something."

"Is that it?" Tom says, raising an eyebrow.

"It's complicated!" Cassie protests.

"I'd rather not be waiting for an eternity for you to figure out your 'it's complicated'," Tom says dryly.

"Forget it," I say. "We can figure it out later. Now, for why I was actually looking for you. Do you know how to get the Fidelius Charm off of this building?"

"Ah," Tom says. "Yes. I'll need the assistance of the Secret-Keeper, but I know how to do it."

"Rispy asked himself, so I'm sure he'll do whatever is necessary to be rid of it," I say.

"Rispy is a very peculiar elf," Tom says. "I will go and take care of that." He nods to me and Cassie, and leaves the two of us alone in the library.

Once Tom is gone, Cassie sighs and looks at me. "I'm sorry, I--"

I raise my hand to interrupt her. "I appreciate the sentiment. But you don't need to apologize to me."

"I just don't understand how you can, well, like him, after all he's done to you," Cassie says. "But... that's your choice, I suppose. I won't begrudge you that."

"Make it work," I say. "Otherwise..."

"You're already bound to him," Cassie says quietly, looking away. "He has the advantage here, and I know it. But I'm not going to be scared of him, and neither am I going to let him push me around."

"I don't think he expects that," I say. "I don't let him push me around either, Dark Lord or no."

"Good," Cassie says. She leans over and gives me a kiss. "I'll deal with it, Lexen. It's worth it. You're worth it."

I smile at her. "I'm glad to hear that. I don't want to walk into another argument like this again, alright?"

"It won't happen again," Cassie says. "I promise."

"Are you struggling with the material, Potter?" Grindelwald says, almost mockingly.

I'm sitting in his office, alone this time, in mid-January. I'm glad that Moody doesn't know I'm here. I hate to think that I can't trust Moody, but that's the way it is, considering the sides I've chosen.

"I've just been busy with a lot of things," I say. "Studying for OWLs and all."

"I'm told that you breezed through your first few years," Grindelwald says. "Are you starting to fall behind now that things are getting a little bit tough?"

"No," I say. It has taken quite a bit of work not to fall behind, and even so, I have still let some of my classes slide a little in favor of others. Like History of Magic.

"Just having the Elder Wand isn't everything," Grindelwald says. "Power, without skill or knowledge, and certainly without experience. What do you think you're going to do with that?"

"I'm going to learn, first and foremost," I reply. "I'm going to become one of the greatest wizards in the universe."

"And then what?" Grindelwald says. "Planning to take over the world?"

"Maybe," I say. "What's it to you?"

Grindelwald snorts. "I say you're just some upstart would-be Dark Lord."

I narrow my eyes at him. "Why do you think that?"

"You're no different than Voldemort," Grindelwald says. "Another generation, another Dark Lord."

"Why would you think that I, of all people, would be a Dark Lord?" I say.

"Oh, you put on the act of the model student," Grindelwald says. "You put on a good mask for the public, just like you do in Theatre Club. But don't think I can't see through it. I might not be allowed to carry a wand, but I can still feel it in you. You're as dark as they get."

"You can tell that?" I say, raising an eyebrow.

"I was a Dark Lord myself once, you know," Grindelwald says. "If you've been paying attention in my class, anyway. That's not just a meaningless title, a grandiose appelation given by oneself with no real weight behind it."

"But I thought Dumbledore was a light wizard..." I say.

"He was," Grindelwald says. "He was the Light Lord, and I the Dark. An alliance the likes of which magic hadn't seen in centuries. We would have ruled the world together. But he betrayed me, despite having been in love with me once."

"Wait a minute," I say. "Dumbledore was in love with you?"

"Try to keep up," Grindelwald says, smirking. "Although I don't know if there's even a Light Lord alive now, with Dumbledore gone."

"There can be more than one alive at once?" I say. "I mean, you're still alive, and Voldemort has been around for a while..."

"There can," Grindelwald says. "It's not an exclusive title. But you seeking to fight Voldemort yourself, a half-trained dark wizard going up against a Dark Lord? Foolishness. I have no love for Voldemort myself, but you are only going to get yourself killed this way."

"Are you trying to mock me, discourage me, or are you actually concerned for my well-being?" I say, raising an eyebrow.

"Neither," Grindelwald says. "I'd like to see you defeat Voldemort, however. A true Dark Lord does not fear death."

"What does it mean to be a Dark Lord?" I say.

"Magical attunement," Grindelwald. "If you want more information than that, then you'll have to earn it." He grins at me.

"If you're trying to bargain for information, I'm not interested," I say. If I really want to know, I can always just ask Tom.

"Aren't you?" Grindelwald says. "Just think. You could match your enemy as an equal. You might even have a hope of succeeding."

"And what, praytell, would you ask in exchange for information like this?" I wonder.

Grindelwald glances around the office, but there's certainly no one else in here, and I already cast spells to make sure to avoid eavesdroppers. "I'm not even inclined to ask for much," Grindelwald says. "But is freedom too much to ask for?"

I sigh. "No, it's not." Whatever I might think of him, I can't deny him that.

"Much as I don't mind teaching history here, all this has done is serve to remind me of what I've lost," Grindelwald says. "For years, I yearned for vengeance upon all those who wronged me. But now most of them are dead. And I didn't even get the chance to kill Dumbledore for his betrayal..."

"I didn't know," I say, sighing. "Look, Grindelwald. You want another chance at life? I can give you that. I can give you more than you realize. But it will cost you."

"Of course," Grindelwald says.

"I'm going to have to ask for your absolute loyalty," I say. "I can't afford anything short of that. Not for this." I shake my head a little. "After the spring term ends, come to Caer Danas. Gellert Grindelwald can be put to rest, and you can start a new life. You can start over again."

Grindelwald looks at me consideringly. "I don't even know that you can do what you claim."

I chuckle softly, wink, and say, "Tell you a secret?" I focus on my Time Magic and give him a small demonstration, up to sixty years old, down to five, then back to fifteen again.

Grindelwald stares at me speechlessly.

"I can do it for others, too, but it's harder for me," I say. "Oh, and if you ever betray me, I'm not going to lock you up. I'm going to kill you. Slowly."

Grindelwald clearly doesn't know what to make of this. "I need to think on this."

I give a nod. "Do so." I turn and leave the office.

"Potter, I believe we have a situation," Snape says.

"Harry," I say.

"Harry, we have a situation," Snape says, smirking at me.

"It's almost Easter holidays," I say. "Do you think something's likely to happen over them?"

"Possibly," Snape says. "I think we may have a leak."

"A leak?" I say, raising an eyebrow.

"The Order has gotten its hands on some information it should not have," Snape says. "And they strongly suspect you and Riddle."

"This could be bad," I say. "Have you told him yet?"

"Not yet," Snape says.

I smirk. "Or were you hoping that I would tell him? You know, he's not quite so inclined to Crucio the messenger these days, even for bad news."

"And you don't do it at all," Snape says.

"I would if they deserved it," I say.

"I'm certain that Lily would be pleased at your willingness to torture others," Snape says, scowling at me.

"Only if they deserved it," I say. "Or would you say that Rodolphus Lestrange didn't deserve it?"

"I will concede your point," Snape says.

"Does the Order know who Tom Riddle really is?" I ask.

"I believe they have realized that," Snape says. "They have no proof, but the suspicion is bad enough. Worse that you are connected to it."

"They don't know about Dumbledore, do they?" I ask.

"No, I do not believe so," Snape says. "They do, however, seem to think that he's trying to corrupt and seduce Miss Black. I was specifically instructed to look out for her."

I blink for a moment. "But, they know who she really is. Not exactly much to corrupt, is there?"

"She never served the Dark Lord before, however," Snape says.

"Do you have any idea where they might have gotten their information?" I say.

"I had been hoping that you would be able to answer that question," Snape says. "Whatever information they have, they gained weeks ago if not months. At least they do not yet suspect my allegiance."

I think back with a sigh. "We're normally pretty paranoid about making sure to avoid anything slipping. But we might have gotten careless over Christmas holidays." I think back to a certain argument on Boxing Day, where I'd heard the yelling out in the hallway, and the door wasn't even locked. I sigh and put my face in my palm. "Merlin, I think someone might have overheard that conversation..."

"Who else is staying at your house?" Snape says.

"Cassie, Tom, and myself, of course," I say. "Sirius, Remus, and Hermione were also present. I don't think Hermione is likely, but Sirius or Remus? Definitely."

Snape scowls. "Their opinion of you is outright dangerous at the moment. They believe you have been turned to the Dark Lord's side, willingly or otherwise. They may definitely try something."

"Moody has certainly been watching me lately," I say. "But he's been doing that all year."

"Be on your guard," Snape says. "You may not get anymore warning than this before anything comes of it."

"I'm lucky to have had this much," I say. "Thank you." I bow my head to him gratefully.

That evening, I haul Cassie to the Headmaster's office, and tell Tom everything that Snape and I discussed.

"You think Sirius or Remus overheard our conversation in the library?" Cassie says, eyes widening.

"It may already be too late to cover up their suspicions," Tom says. "We may need to take another angle."

"Discredit the Order of the Phoenix?" I say.

"Whittle away their support any way we can," Tom says, nodding to me in agreement. "The Daily Prophet hasn't exactly been painting them in a favorable light as it is."

"I could get The Quibbler to print something, I think," I say. "Not that most people take that seriously."

"Having the press on your side is a good thing, even ones like The Quibbler," Tom says.

"I'll talk to Luna then, and see what we can whip up," I say.

Cassie is looking at the floor. "I'm sorry about this. It's my fault."

"We all got complacent," I say. "Don't blame yourself. Just remind me in the future to have a headquarters in which we can make absolutely certain of the loyalty of anyone that might ever be present, so we wouldn't need to worry about anyone overhearing anything they aren't supposed to."

"Indeed," Tom says, nodding to me. "I have been working on Hermione. Quite the bright girl, and she has figured out more than you would imagine. I doubt she will be a problem."

"What have you been telling her?" I ask.

"Oh, the true nature of the dichotomy between light and dark magic, the corruption in magical government... I've even taught her a little dark magic, as well," Tom says. "She picks up on things very quickly. It's quite refreshing, after dealing with the likes of Crabbe and Goyle." He snorts in disgust.

"She's smarter than I am, to be sure," I say. "I could only wish I could cast so many spells correctly on the first try. Even with simple charms, I've often had to try several times to get them right."

"We may want to rethink our Easter plans," Tom says. "Caer Danas may not be the best place to go."

"If we change our plans, however, it will tip them off that we know they suspect us," I say. "They'll know that they have a spy in their ranks."

"We'll have to go back to Caer Danas," Cassie says. "We'll need to be careful, though."

Tom nods, and pulls out a piece of parchment. "I'll deal with the Prophet. Speak with the Lovegood girl when you get the chance. Best get back to your common room, before curfew."

Easter holiday at Caer Danas is tense. Tom, Cassie, and I all put on good masks, playing like we do not know that Sirius or Remus, or both of them perhaps, have betrayed us.

The evening after we arrive home, I'm reading a bit in my lightning bolt pajamas, when there's a knock on my bedroom door. I get up to answer it.

"Hey," Sirius says, peering into the room. "Mind if I come in?"

I tilt my head and gesture him to come in, and close the door behind him. "Hope you haven't been too bored around here."

"Harry..." Sirius says. "I'm worried about you. Maybe I should have talked to you before, during Christmas holidays."

"You could have at least sent an owl," I say, shrugging. "Is there a problem?"

"Are you sure it's a good idea to allow Riddle to stay here?" Sirius says.

I sigh. "Do you have a problem with the Headmaster? Beyond that it's 'weird'."

"Yes, in fact, I do," Sirius says. "Harry, is there anything you want to talk to me about? Anything that you've been keeping from me?"

"If I've been lying to you, asking me about it won't get me to tell the truth," I say.

"I want to know what really happened last summer," Sirius says. "When you claimed to have fought Voldemort. Did he hurt you? Did he do something to you?"

"Are you doubting that I really fought the Dark Lord?" I say, raising an eyebrow.

"You disappeared for several days without a word," Sirius says. "And Riddle told us that you'd decided to spend some time at the Malfoys'. What really happened, though?"

I sigh again. "Sirius..."

"Harry, I'm asking because I'm worried about you," Sirius says. "I was convinced... I don't know what I was convinced of. I'm not even sure anymore that you're really Harry Potter."

I blink at him. "Why would you think I'm not?"

"I've heard Cassie call you 'Lexen'," Sirius says. "And the Naming Charm confirms it. Your name is Lexen Chelseer."

Of course he would know that spell, obscure as it might be. He was the one who taught it to me! I've been an idiot. "That was the name I grew up with, yes," I say. "When I was taken to the States and hidden away."

"I don't know if there's any way to fool the Naming Charm," Sirius says, frowning. "But I suppose anything is possible..."

"It would not have been much of hiding if they weren't thorough about it," I say.

"I suppose," Sirius says.

"I'm still your godson," I say. "No matter what name I might have ever gone by at any point. And I still got you out of Azkaban."

Sirius nods. "Of course. Sorry, I'm just a little confused at the moment."

I smile at him and squeeze his arm reassuringly. "Don't worry about that. Now, what are you concerned about?"

Sirius takes a deep breath. "Do you know who Tom Riddle really is?"

"I do," I say. "Do you?"

"He did a good job of hiding it," Sirius says. "But the pieces all fit. He's Voldemort! He's the one who murdered your parents!"

"I know," I say.

Sirius stares at me incredulously. "And you're letting him stay in your house?"

"Yes," I say.

He says more quietly, "Did he kidnap you, Harry? Did he coerce you, force you into serving him somehow?"

"No," I reply. I rub my head. "You can safely assume that anything I've done, I have done willingly. I'm too strong-willed for the Imperius Curse, and too damned stubborn to be forced into doing something I don't want to do."

"So you joined him willingly?" Sirius says, gaping at me.

"Is that what you want me to say, Sirius?" I say. "I'm a dark wizard. I'm the Dark Lord's apprentice. What more do you want of me?"

"I can't believe this," Sirius says, looking at me closely. "He must have tricked you, or done something to you, or... I don't know!"

"Why is that so hard to believe?" I say.

"Harry, he killed your parents!" Sirius says. "He murdered countless other people!"

"Technically, no, he didn't," I say. "This Tom Riddle was magically preserved at the age of sixteen, before he had actually done any of that."

Sirius blinks at me again. "What?"

"Alright, long story short, Voldemort did some unwise magical experiments and lost his sanity in the process. Tom is him as he was before all that. Back when he was still sane."

"But... he..." Sirius stammers.

"He realized and regreted his mistakes, and will not make them again," I say. "Now, we are working together in an attempt to forge a better future for wizards everywhere."

"But... you said you're a dark wizard," Sirius says. "And he's still the Dark Lord..."

"Much as you might have thought otherwise during your teenage rebellion streak, Sirius, dark is not evil," I say. "Neither is light good. I see no need to be ashamed of who or what I am."

"So you still think you're doing the right thing?" Sirius says.

"Of course," I say. "Well, most people don't intentionally set out to do the wrong thing, but I'll take it that you mean that I'm doing something I think will actually help people, and not just looking to promote myself."

"I would have thought that Voldemort would be looking to rule the world," Sirius says. "And, what, you're his second in command now or something?"

"I am," I say. "And I don't think that's his goal. There's... more going on here than you realize, Sirius."

"So I'm starting to see," Sirius says, sighing. "Look, Harry. I don't know what to make of all this. I'm going to need to think about this."

"Think all you want," I say, shrugging. I just wish he'd actually come and talked to me before going to the Order straight after eavesdropping.

"I just can't wrap my mind around the idea of you as a dark wizard," Sirius says. "You always seem like such a good person, a perfect student, maybe even too perfect. Is it all an act?"

"If it were, I would have driven myself mad by now," I say.

"Alright," Sirius says. "I'll... I'll go and let you get some sleep, then. Good night, Harry."

"Night, Sirius," I say.

As he leaves the room, I have to wonder just how much of it is an act myself. Am I a good person? A question that haunts me far more than it probably should.