Stormseeker: Borrowed Destiny

On Thursday, our first Defense Against the Dark Arts class takes place. The Gryffindor fourth years are all lined up excitedly outside even before the class period starts, waiting for Moody to arrive.

Once inside, Moody looks us over with our books out, and says, "Put your books away. You won't need them."

A practical lesson to start off with, then? We're all waiting excitedly to see what Moody has in store for us today.

"Now, I got a letter from your last professor, Remus Lupin," Moody says. "Says you covered dark creatures and defensive charms, is that right? But you're way behind on curses."

"We have been covering curses in Dueling Club," Ron says.

"I'm not talking about petty schoolboy jinxes that can make someone dance or give them a runny nose," Moody says. "But it's good that you haven't been slacking in combat. No, I'm going to show you the real deal here today. The worst of what wizards can do to one another."

"You can't be serious," Parvati says. "You're going to show us that?"

"Absolutely," Moody says. "The Ministry would have me teach you countercurses and leave it at that. In fact, you're not even supposed to learn about illegal curses until sixth year, when they think you're ready to deal with them. But dark wizards won't care about that, will they? They're not going to be all polite about it. Dumbledore thinks you lot can handle it. Is his assessment of you misplaced?"

"Not at all," I assure him.

Ron snorts softly. "Yeah, Potter just wants to learn illegal dark curses, I bet."

"Shove it, Weasel," I say.

Moody's magical eye fixes on me for a few seconds before he continues. "You always need to be alert and watchful. Constant vigilance! You need to know what to look for, and recognize what you see. You need to be prepared!"

"Yes, sir!" I say.

"Now, can anyone tell me which curses are the ones most heavily punished by wizarding law?" Moody asks.

I'm afraid that I'm not too clear on what the legal standing of any particular spell happens to be, aside from the fact that thus far, I haven't actually gotten in serious trouble for anything I've cast.

"The Imperius Curse?" Ron suggests.

"Yes, a troublesome one, that one," Moody says. "Now, class, watch closely." He pulls out a jar of spiders and reaches in to bring out one, resting it on the palm of his hand. "Imperio!"

I shudder involuntarily at the word, even as I watch what he does carefully. I've been put under that curse three times now by the Dark Lord, and was forced to do horrible things while under his power. I don't like anyone controlling me against my will.

The spider dances around in a humorous manner, doing cartwheels and tap dancing. Everyone in the class is laughing. Everyone except me and Moody, it seems. I'm frowning intently at the spectacle.

"So, you think that's funny, do you?" Moody says. "At least one of you seems to recognize how serious this spell is, don't you, Potter?"

"Yes, sir," I say.

"You've seen this spell before, have you?" Moody asks.

"Yes, sir," I say quietly.

"Where?" Moody presses.

"I don't want to talk about it here, sir," I murmur.

"Very well," Moody says, dropping that train of conversation for now.

My mind whirls as I think how I'm to explain that one. The only one that occurred in a timeline that actually stuck was in the Chamber of Secrets, I think. The one where I refused to kill Draco and fought back.

"Potter has the right of it," Moody says. "You wouldn't like it if it were done to you, would you? Absolute control. I could make it do anything, even something that would kill itself."

I look at the floor, remembering how I was forced to attack Snape, to retrieve the Philosopher's Stone, to kill Remus... oh Remus...

"It was quite the mess, years back, when there were a lot of wizards being controlled by the Imperius Curse," Moody says. "The Ministry had quite the time of it trying to sort out who was being forced to act against their will, and who was committing their crimes by choice. But the Imperius Curse can be fought, and I'll be teaching you how. Not everyone can do it, though, as it takes a lot of willpower to do so. Better to not get hit with it at all. Constant vigilance!"

And yet, even as it's horrifying, that sort of power is strangely fascinating, and I can accept that there may be times when it would be useful. Am I upset more over what was being done, or the fact that it was being done to me? Could I force someone to obey me like that, to violate their free will? Would that not be worse than simply killing them?

"Now, can anyone else tell me another one?" Moody asks. "Another illegal curse?"

"The Cruciatus Curse," Neville says quietly.

Moody looks intently at Neville, and say, "Your name is Longbottom, isn't it?"

"Yes, sir," Neville says.

I remember seeing the state Neville's parents were in after being tortured with that curse for an extended period. I also remember thinking I was dying, wishing I were dead, when I was hit with it myself. But I can't give any indication of that one. That didn't happen in this timeline.

Moody brings out another spider. "Let's make it a bit bigger so you can see properly," he says. "Engorgio!"

The spider rapidly expands to the size of a tarantula. Ron seems to be more terrified of the spider than the curses themselves. Oh, right, he was scared of spiders, wasn't he. Maybe I should play a prank on him sometime.

Moody points his wand at the spider, and says, "Crucio!"

The spider twitches and jerks, its legs spasming uncontrollably in what must be terrible agony. The class isn't laughing this time. Strangely, perhaps, it's Neville and Hermione who are the most calm about it. Neville is watching quietly, with hard eyes and clenched fists, and Hermione is gaping. Lavender and Parvati, on the other hand, are freaking out. Ron still seems to be terrified of the spider itself. And Seamus is just shuddering.

As Lavender looks about ready to start vomiting, I say, "I think that's enough of that demonstration, Professor."

Moody removes his wand, but the spider continues to twitch even after the curse is terminated. "Reducio," Moody says, and the spider returns to the normal size again. He returns it to the jar.

I put my hand on Neville's shoulder and whisper to him, "Are you alright?"

"I'm fine," Neville replies quietly. "Thanks."

"Pure pain," Moody says. "The perfect torture method. Very popular once as well, among a certain crowd."

"There's no good use for a spell like that," I say. "No good reason to cast it beyond sheer sadism."

"Indeed so, Potter," Moody says. "Now, does anyone know any other illegal curses?"

"The Killing Curse," Hermione says quietly.

"Yes," Moody says. "The worst of them all." He pulls out the last spider, which frantically tries to escape, to no avail. He places it on the desk, where it tries to scurry away, but he raises his wand and casts, "Avada Kedavra!"

There's a flash of green light, and the spider drops dead instantly. Now that, that spell I like. And not just because it's exactly the same shade of green as my eyes. Sheer poetry, death in its purest form. There's a beautiful elegance to a spell like this.

My heart is racing, and I have to catch myself to keep my expression neutral. I won't be caught grinning at something like this. Especially when, on another level, the thought of these spells sickens me. It's not like I enjoy killing people or anything. Maybe it's just the Ravenclaw in me that can appreciate the technical aspects of the spells and still be disgusted at the application of them.

"This spell isn't nice or pleasant," Moody says. "There's no countercurse, no way to block it. Only one person has ever been known to survive it, and he's sitting right in front of me."

I feel a pang of sympathy for poor Harry Potter now. He somehow survives what wizards consider the worst possible curse, only to be killed by horrible chance. It should have been Harry Potter sitting in this classroom today, and not me. I think that Dumbledore had to have known that there was no way I'd ever actually be able to be what Harry Potter would have been. And yet, here I am, regardless, and I have to do my best.

"Many people died from that curse during the war," Moody goes on. "But it requires a powerful bit of magic behind it. You could all pull out your wands, point them at me, and say the words, and I'd bet I wouldn't even get a nosebleed. Doesn't matter, though. I'm not going to teach you how to do it."

Hmm, interesting. The wand movements were not complicated at all. I think back to my lessons with Quirrell in first year, about how he taught me how to get the most out of the Lightning Curse. I would imagine that it's something like that. You probably need strong, focused emotions and will to make spells like this work.

"You might ask why I'm showing it to you, then, if you can't block it or stop it," Moody says. "Why? Because you have to know. You have to understand what it is you're up against. CONSTANT VIGILANCE!"

Am I the only one in the class who isn't jumping whenever he says that? No, Neville's been pretty steady as well. It all happened so gradually I didn't even notice, but it seems after all that I've dragged Neville through, he's transformed from a terrified, bumbling boy into a hardened warrior who can face down dark magic without flinching.

"These three spells are known as the Unforgivable Curses," Moody goes on. "Using any of them on a human being will get you a life sentence in Azkaban. That's what you're up against. And that's what I need to prepare you to fight. You need to practice constant, never-ceasing vigilance!"

The class spends the rest of the period making notes about the Unforgiveable Curses. When the bell rings and the rest of the class files out, however, I remain in my seat, staring at the parchment, lost in morbid thoughts. Horrible memories replaying themselves in my head. I glance up after a few moments and notice Hermione and Neville are still with me, looking at me in concern.

"Stormseeker, are you alright?" Hermione asks me quietly.

"Yeah, I'm fine," I say. "Just thinking."

"You want to go get some dinner?" Neville asks.

I shake my head. "Not really," I say softly. "Why don't you guys go on without me?" I think, at the moment, I might just end up throwing up anything I ate.

"No way," Neville says. "I'm not going to leave you like this."

Professor Moody limps over toward us and says, "You kids alright here?"

"Harry looks like he's going to be sick," Hermione says.

"I'm just not hungry," I say.

"It's alright, sonny," Moody says. "Why don't you come into my office and have some tea?"

I give a nod, and say, "Alright."

Moody looks to Neville and says, "You alright, Longbottom?"

Neville nods, and says, "But I'm going with Harry, if that's alright with you."

"I'm going down to dinner," Hermione says. "I'll see you later." She heads out.

Neville and I follow Moody into his office, and he serves us up some tea. I absently mutter a substance analysis spell over my cup, and determine that it contains nothing but tea. I take a sip. I don't think Moody is out to get me, but I'd rather not take any chances. Moody is watching me all the while.

"Does he normally do that?" Moody asks Neville.

"I think he's almost as paranoid as you are," Neville says. "And after all we've been through, I don't blame him."

"Constant vigilance," Moody says. "So, would you rather talk about it here than in the classroom?"

"I'll talk," I say. "Better than stewing in my own thoughts, at any rate."

"I just wonder, where in the world did you see the Imperius Curse before?" Moody asks. "You don't have to answer, Potter."

"Chamber of Secrets," I say quietly. "Fucking Chamber of Secrets. Fucking Lockhart, and that fucking diary."

"Uh-oh, he's swearing," Neville murmurs.

"That bad?" Moody asks Neville.

"You can always tell he's actually angry by the fact that he starts swearing," Neville comments. "Normally, nothing bothers him."

I smirk. "Good to know," I say. "I'll need to watch that, assuming I'm in a situation where I care. Anyway, the Chamber of Secrets. Lockhart would have everyone believe that he uncovered the school's glorious secrets of the ancient past. That wasn't how things really happened, however."

Neville looks at the floor. "It was a bad year all around, I think. What a mess."

"Lockhart put you under the Imperius Curse?" Moody asks in alarm.

I shake my head quickly. "No, Lockhart was only ever good at Memory Charms," I say, snorting softly. "I don't know how many people he's Obliviated over the years in order to support his lies."

"So what really happened?" Moody wonders. "Who used the Imperius Curse on you?"

"The Dark Lord," I say. "Sort of."

"What?" Moody asks. "Sort of?"

Forcing me to attack Snape. Draco's unconscious body, pierced by poison needles. Remus and Tonks, pierced by basilisk fangs. Moody dead on the floor without a mark on him. Remus, dead from a volley of lightning bolts. Friends dead by my hand, and I was happy to do it...

I shudder involuntarily. "On second thought, I think I'd rather not talk about it," I say quietly.

Neville puts his hand on my shoulder and squeezes reassuringly. "It's alright, Stormseeker," he says.

"Alright, then," Moody says. "Longbottom? Professor Sprout tells me that you like Herbology. I've got a book for you here. Why don't you take it?"

Neville takes the book Moody offers, and says, "Thank you, sir."

"And you, Potter," Moody say. "You're into dueling, aren't you?"

"Yes, sir," I say, brightening abruptly and looking up at him in interest.

"I've got a book for you here as well," Moody says. "I think you might find this interesting." He passes me a book on advanced dueling techniques. "Dueling's good practice, but it's not real combat. There's no rules in war. That book, however, has some techniques that are useful anywhere. Good material."

"Thank you, sir," I say, taking it and smiling up at him.

"Why don't you boys run along now?" Moody say. "You can still catch some dinner if you're so inclined."

"Probably should," I say, putting the book in my bag of holding, and Neville and I leave the office.

If it weren't for Ron and Seamus, I'd move Padfoot into my dorm in a heartbeat. As it is, I have to content myself with visiting him down in the Slytherin dungeons, when he's not out and about, anyway. He does visit Gryffindor Tower regularly, but since I can't really trust two of the people in my dorm, I don't like him staying there long, just in case. At least, since he hasn't caused any trouble and is being a very well-behaved dog, the teachers are content to ignore him for the most part.

Then, one day in Defense Against the Dark Arts, Professor Moody announces, "I'm going to be putting each of you under the Imperius Curse today as a demonstration, and to see if you can resist it."

"But, isn't that illegal?" Hermione asks. "To use it on another human being?"

"Normally, yes," Moody says as he clears a space in the middle of the room. "Dumbledore wants you to know what it feels like, however. But I'm not going to force anyone here into submitting to it. If you'd rather learn firsthand when a dark wizard is casting it at you, feel free to step out. You're excused. Potter, you alright with this?"

"You're going to be teaching us how to resist it?" I say with a determined grin. "Then bring it on."

"That's the spirit," Moody says.

After I say that, then nobody else dares to budge from their seats, even though some of them looked like they wanted to. One by one, Moody calls them forward and casts the curse upon them. Watching them perform humiliating antics against their will makes my blood run cold one moment, and then boil the next.

"Potter," Moody calls. "You're next."

I step forward into the center of the room, setting a hard expression on my face and looking at him intently. I will learn how to resist this spell, and not just when forced to try to kill someone I'd rather die than harm. I wonder if that means that I didn't really care about Draco and Remus as much. I shake off that line of thought. That's unproductive.

Moody points his wand at me, and says, "Imperio!"

My mind is filled with a happy, blissful feeling. Moody is now my master, and I would do anything for my master. There's nothing more in life that I would rather do.

Jump onto the desk, says the voice in my mind. I take great pleasure in following through with such a simple command. I climb up on top of the desk, poised and ready to do my master's bidding.

Then I remember, I'm under the Imperius Curse. I'm supposed to be learning how to fight it off. Doesn't my master want me to learn how to fight it?

Dance,, orders the voice in my head. Dance the jig.

Rage pours through my mind unbidden, and I recall the feeling before when I was forced to attack my friends. What's the difference between this and that? Where is the line that I will not cross? Why is it okay to let him do this, but not to kill Draco or Sirius?

I'm dancing. I'm dancing against my will. My arms and legs are moving, and it makes me happy to do my master's will, and angry to do my master's will. In mid-step, my wand is in my hand, and I cast, "Flipendo!"

Moody stumbles, but the spell doesn't break. "Good, good, but that won't shake off the spell," he says. "You've got to force me out of your mind."

Don't attack me, says the voice in my mind insistantly. Do a handstand on the desk.

The rage is starting to overcome the joy. I am the eye of the storm, I think fiercely. A furious storm of emotions swirls about my mind, trying to protect me, trying to ward off outside influences. I will not be treated this way. I will not be helpless. I will not be used. I will not be anyone's slave. "I am the Stormseeker," I roar. "AND NO ONE IS MY MASTER!"

"Good! Now that's what I'm looking for!" Moody says. "Did you see that? He fought it! It took him a while, but he broke my control completely!"

For a moment, I'm concerned that I might be crackling, and giving all the appearance of the Dark Lord Stormseeker. But when I glance down at myself, there's nothing. No electricity playing along my body. That's something of a relief. The storm is only in my mind. Although, as I realize everyone is staring at me with a touch of fear, even Neville, I decide to quickly hop down off the desk.

"Let's try that again, shall we?" Moody says. "Try to shake it off faster this time."

After a few more tries, I'm able to focus and force it off immediately, and without screaming at the top of my lungs in a rage, either.

"You think you're so great, Stormseeker?" Ron says. "I bet you I can do it too!"

"Be my guest," I say, shrugging and standing aside.

Moody puts Ron through the paces, but he doesn't have much success. Ron is more than a little miffed about this, practically fuming silently at me, as if personally blaming me for his failure.

Then Neville steps up and says, "I'd like another shot at it."

"Do you, Longbottom?" Moody says. "Very well. Come on up." Neville stands before him, looking at him firmly and fearlessly. "Imperio!"

After a couple of seconds, Neville proceeds to stand on his head. He might have managed to resist the spell or hold him off for a brief moment.

When Moody releases him from the curse, I go up to him and whisper, "Remember your Occlumency lessons? Think of that. Try doing it like you did that."

"Alright, thanks," Neville replies, and I step aside. "Let's try that again," he asks Moody.

Moody gives a nod, and again casts, "Imperio!"

Neville shudders for a moment, giving Moody a fierce look and setting his jaw, but doesn't budge this time. Shuddering, struggling, clenching his fists, but not moving.

"There we go, now you're fighting it," Moody says. "Keep pushing. Just a little more and you'll be able to throw it off."

And then, after a few more seconds, the control breaks. I can see the sudden change in Neville's eyes as he focuses upon Moody, and his body relaxes.

"Very good, Longbottom," Moody says. "They'll have trouble controlling you, that's for sure."

The class ends, and the other students file out for dinner, but I linger for a moment in the classroom thoughtfully.

"Something on your mind, Potter?" Moody asks me once we're alone.

"I was just thinking," I say. "About those curses."

"Vile things, aren't they?" Moody says.

I shrug. "I still don't understand why they're considered 'unforgivable'."

"They're the worst things a wizard can do to another," Moody says.

"Why is it considered worse to kill someone with the Killing Curse than to set them on fire or electrocute them?" I ask. "It's quick and clean. If you're going to kill someone, wouldn't that be a better way to go than some of the alternatives?"

"There may be a point to that, but it remains that there's no purpose to these spells but to impose your will upon other living beings," Moody says. "Starting a fire can be beneficial as well as harmful. But the Killing Curse can only be used to kill. And most people aren't going to be able to succeed in casting it anyway."

"The wand movements were very simple," I say. "The incantation was not difficult. It's mostly based upon emotion and intent, isn't it?"

"I'm not here to teach you how to cast the Unforgivable Curses, Potter," Moody says.

"Why not?" I ask innocently.

"Because they're vile, illegal, dark magic!" Moody snaps.

"Magic is a tool," I say. "It can be used for good or for ill, depending upon the person using it. And didn't you say they were only illegal to use on humans? What if, say, a rampaging troll is coming at me? Wouldn't a Killing Curse be able to stop it?"

"That's beside the point," Moody says. "Yes, you're not going to get sent to Azkaban for using them on non-humans, this is true. They might look askance at you for it, but they won't do anything about it. The Ministry doesn't much care what happens to animals, or house-elves, or whatever else."

"I'd probably have an easier time of casting them than I did the Patronus Charm," I say. "It took me years to get that right." I sigh.

"I've heard rumors about you, Potter," Moody say. "I wasn't about to believe them, though. But what does that say about you? What kind of a wizard are you, Potter?"

"The kind who can cast curses more easily than charms, but still intends to do the right thing and protect the innocent anyway," I reply. "Just using curses doesn't make you evil, does it?"

"Hmph," Moody says. "You might make a fine Auror someday, perhaps. No, curses don't make you evil. Not even the Unforgivable Curses. You're just far more likely to be able to cast them if you are already evil."

"You can cast them, though," I say.

"I've been fighting dark wizards for most of my life," Moody says. "You don't get very far if you don't know what you're up against."

"I'm hardly going to judge you, sir," I say. "I wasn't calling you evil, anymore than I intend to be evil myself, no matter what spells I might want to use."

"Fine," Moody says. "I'm still not going to teach you that."

"Would you rather I secretly sneak off to try it out on my own in private?" I say.

"Are you telling me that you would do that?" Moody asks.

"I would, and I will," I say. "Wouldn't it be preferable if I had some supervision, however?"

Moody glares at me hard, his magical eye fixating upon me, and I wonder if I've pushed too far. "You could be expelled for this line of research," Moody points out. "But I hardly think that you intend to be the next Dark Lord, contrary to what some might think, especially if you're actually asking me this and not going off to practice in secret and do whatever else."

"So, will you teach me?" I ask.

Moody grumbles. "The Ministry would have my head if they thought I was teaching Unforgivables in school."

"The Ministry isn't going to find out," I say.

"Fine," Moody says. "I will teach you. But only to make sure you don't go off on your own and do something rash, and have someone get hurt, do you understand?"

"Yes, sir," I say. "Thank you, sir."

"Don't thank me yet," Moody say. "You have no idea what you're getting yourself into."

That weekend, I have my first 'special lesson' with Moody, under the guise of a detention. I didn't even dare to tell my friends what exactly I was going to do, although I did let them know that it wasn't really a detention, and they didn't press me further on it.

I step into Moody's office at the appointed time, nervous, terrified. I'm really going to be doing this? I think I'm more scared of myself than anything else.

"You look like you just swallowed a spider, Potter," Moody say. "Getting cold feet? You can back out anytime, you know. If you've changed your mind and can't stomach this after all, you can walk right out that door and I won't say a word."

I take a deep breath and shake my head. "No," I say. "I'm going to do this."

"Hmph," Moody says. "If you were one of those Death Eater babies, you'd probably be all eager and excited for the opportunity. But you're not, and that's a good sign. Tell me, why do you really want to learn this?"

"Because I'm not about to turn up my nose at powerful tools just because some believe they are evil," I say.

"And what do you intend to do with these tools?" Moody asks.

"Protect myself," I say. "Protect my friends. Protect everyone I care about. Stop evil." Kill Sedder. Kill Sedder.

"Well enough," Moody says. "You want to fight dark wizards with their own weapons? Good for you, I say. Constant vigilance!"

"Yes, sir!"

"Now, which spell do you want to start with?" Moody asks.

"The Killing Curse, of course," I say.

Moody gives a nod. "You've already learned about casting spells which require strong will, intent, and a specific mentalstate, you've said. You can cast the Patronus Charm, I believe you mentioned?" I nod at him. "Show me."

I think of the rainbow after the storm. "Expecto Patronum." My silvery, translucent duck emerges from my wand and looks about for danger.

"And you were practicing this spell for years in order to cast it right?" Moody asks.

"Yes, sir," I say. "I was determined to get it, however, and I wasn't about to give up."

"I'm glad I agreed to teach you, then," Moody says, snorting softly. "If you were that stubborn about learning a spell like that, I'd hate to see what you'd do with curses unsupervised."

"Probably kill myself, blow up a tower, or something," I say lightly, dismissing my Patronus.

"The Unforgivable Curses require a completely different sort of mentalstate than the Patronus Charm, however," Moody says. "You're looking at negative emotions, there. Anger, hate, desire to kill. Will and intent. You must have will and intent in order to cast them."

"Yes, sir," I say. "I'd assume they're more like the Lightning Curse in that regard."

"You can cast the Lightning Curse?" Moody says. "When did you learn that?"

"First year," I say. "But I could do it as accidental magic even before I learned the actual spell. Lightning magic comes naturally to me, but once I learned how to control it better, I could do more with it."

"I see," Moody says, staring at me. "Who taught you the Lightning Curse in your first year?"

"Um... the Dark Lord," I say.

"What?" Moody exclaims.

"He was possessing our Defense professor," I say. "Quirrell."

"I see," Moody says, shaking his head. "And I see why Dumbledore was so desparate to hire me. Very well. When you cast the Killing Curse, start off by trying to cast it like you do the Lightning Curse, then. Do you need to review the incantation or wand movements?"

"No, sir," I say. "I think I've got it."

Moody pulls out a spider and puts it on the desk. It tries to scuttle off, but he casts, "Impedimenta!" and the spider stops moving. Moody steps out of the way to stand behind me, and says, "Do it."

I whip out my wand and point it at the spider. I wasn't nervous while I was talking about it, but now I'm utterly terrified again. I don't really want to do this. I don't enjoy killing. I'm not psychotic. I never wanted to hurt anyone.

But no. These thoughts won't help me cast this spell. I take a deep breath and calm myself. Focus. Bring out my anger and hate. There is one person in all of the multiverse who I really want to kill. Sedder. I fix my mind upon that thought. The way he killed me, the way he killed my cousins, I want to stop him, I want to kill him, I want to destroy him utterly. Focus my hate into my magic, into my spell--

"AVADA KEDAVRA!" I scream.

A flash of green light fills my vision. The spider in front of me twitches and flips over. I've killed it.

"Weak, but a good first effort," Moody says. "That wouldn't stop a human being, never mind a troll or anything like that."

"Did I do something wrong?" I ask.

"The movements and incantation were fine," Moody says. "Your thoughts were probably unfocused, not focused nearly good enough. Did you have any doubt as to what you intended to do? Any second thoughts, hesitation?"

"Yes, sir," I admit quietly. "I was afraid. I didn't really want to kill it."

Moody snorts softly. "If that's the case, it's a wonder you succeeded in casting it at all, even weakly. How did you manage that?"

"I thought about the one person I really wanted to kill, and how much I hate him," I say softly.

"I see," Moody says. "The one who gave you that scar, I assume?"

I think of Dumbledore, and I can't help but chuckle softly, which only causes Moody to look at me strangely. "No," I say. "I never even knew James and Lily Potter. I was raised by a family of American wizards. But, shortly before I came to Hogwarts... they were murdered by a dark wizard who called himself Sedder."

"Sedder?" Moody asks.

"Not his real name, of course, but when do they ever go by their real names? I had a pair of cousins, twin girls, they were nine years old at the time... it's their screams who haunt my nightmares, not the birth parents I never met. It's Sedder who has my undivided hate. And when I'm done with Hogwarts, I am going to hunt down that son of a bitch, and I will kill him."

"I can understand that," Moody says. "And I'll wish you good luck in that."

"Don't wish me luck," I say. "Give me the tools I need to pull it off."

"Very well," Moody says. "Let's try this again..."