Will-o'-the-Wisp

Still a little shocked, Remus turned to look in the Great Hall, wondering if he had dreamed the whole thing. But no, Regulus was watching him, his mouth hanging slightly open. When he caught Remus's eye, he grinned and flashed him a double thumbs-up, mouthing, "Congratulations!"

So he hadn't imagined it after all. Remus smiled back, but the smile quickly faded as he realised that Sirius had run off and he had no clue what to do now.

Remus considered the question. Of course he had always loved Sirius; they were best friends, almost brothers. Remus would have done anything for him, and he knew Sirius would do the same for him. But did he love Sirius the way Sirius obviously loved Remus? Could he feel the same way about Sirius?

Now there was a question Remus had no trouble answering. He could, and he did. Do I love him? More than I could have possibly imagined.

Then where's the bad?

Remus glanced at Regulus, jerked his head in the direction Sirius had gone, and shrugged helplessly, his message clear: What now?

Regulus grinned and mouthed, "Go for it!"

Remus raised his eyebrows and mouthed, "You think I should?"

Regulus nodded, still grinning.

Remus smiled, flashed him a thumbs-up, and set off after his friend.

Sirius had a large head start and the grounds were pitch-black, but Remus seemed to know instinctively which way to go. Sirius hadn't gone nearly as far as Remus thought he would; he was pacing around a clearing, looking upset and frightened. Remus knew the clearing; the tree nearby was "their" tree, the tree the Marauders always sat and met under.

"Siri?" he said softly.

Sirius's head snapped up. He took a couple of steps toward Remus, then stopped and held his hands out in a placating sort of gesture. "Rem," he said almost pleadingly, his voice raw with emotion. "Remus, I'm so sorry, I...I don't know what came over me. I know what you're about to say and--"

"I love you, Siri," Remus said gently.

Sirius froze. "Wh-what?"

"I love you," Remus repeated. He, too, took a couple of steps towards Sirius, then stopped. "I admit, I was a little...well, to say I was surprised would be the understatement of the century. I was stunned when you just kissed me like that. And it all happened so fast, and you pulled away so soon, that I really didn't have time to sort out exactly how I felt about it before it was over. Right after you ran off, I wasn't sure I hadn't imagined the whole thing. I just...I couldn't think what on earth would possess you to fall in love with me. I mean...well, I'm just me. I'm not anything special."

"I think you're something special," Sirius whispered. "You're the only Remus Lupin there is."

Remus smiled a little. "Well...thanks. But...well, I thought about it for a minute, and I asked myself if I loved you. And at first I beat about the bush--you know, like Peter does when he's stalling for time so one of us can give him the answer." Sirius chuckled a little. "I told myself that I've always loved you, that you've been my best friend--and my brother--for the last seven years. I'd walk to hell and back for you, we both know that--and we both know you'd do the same for me. But I wasn't sure if I loved you the way you--the way you love me. I wasn't sure if I could." Remus swallowed hard. "And...and then I realised that not only could I feel the same way about you, that I did feel that way, that I probably have for a long time and I just didn't let myself think about it. Maybe...God, I don't know, maybe there was some part of me that thought I couldn't acknowledge it while we were here, because nobody here would exactly be kind if they found out. Maybe I couldn't think about it while I was living with my parents, because they already consider me a freakish abomination and if they knew I was in love with you I'd've been on the streets long ago. I don't know. I doubt I ever will know." He reached out and gently touched Sirius's cheek; Sirius flinched a little but did not move away. "But the one thing I do know is...I love you, Sirius Black. I always will, come what may."

Sirius swallowed hard a couple of times. He raised a trembling hand and covered Remus's, staring into his eyes. "I love you, too," he whispered. He drew a little closer to Remus and caressed his cheek with a forefinger. "I love you, Remus Lupin," he repeated. "I love you and I'll never stop. Nothing's going to change that."

Sirius slipped his arms around Remus's waist. One hand remained there at the base of his spine, supporting him and keeping him close; the other raised up and pressed against the back of Remus's head. He drew Remus towards him and lowered his lips onto the other boy's. He moved slowly, tenderly, so as not to frighten Remus again and to give him time to prepare. However, Remus had been anticipating it this time. He responded with a will, kissing Sirius back, his arms reaching up to wrap around Sirius's neck. Sirius was taller than Remus by about half a head; he practically lifted Remus off the ground.

Finally, reluctantly, they drew apart. Remus looked up at Sirius and smiled as soft strains of music reached them. "So...how about we try that dance again?"

In lieu of an answer, Sirius smiled and took Remus into his arms again, encircling his waist and drawing him close. Remus reached up and once more wrapped his arms around Sirius's neck.

This dance held none of the earlier awkwardness. Rather than standing as far apart as possible, they held each other close. Rather than avoiding looking at one another, their eyes met as they drank in each as though they couldn't quite get enough of the sight. Remus's lips still tingled from their earlier kiss; every part of his body felt charged with electricity just from standing this close to Sirius. As they spun in a slow circle, Remus felt safer and more at home than he had since he was five years old.

Sirius smiled at him tenderly. "You feel that too?" he whispered. Remus nodded and drew closer to lean his head on Sirius's chest.

The two danced in silence for some time. This time it wasn't Remus's imagination; the song was longer than usual, but unlike before he didn't mind. Finally, Sirius looked down at him. "What is this song? Do you know?"

"Uh..." Remus tried to pull himself together enough to identify the song. He lifted his head off of Sirius's chest and listened for a second. "It sounds like Sunshine on My Shoulders to me. John Denver song...it's really good."

Sirius smiled. "Guess it's 'our' song, huh?"

Remus smiled back. "I guess so."

Sirius tangled the fingers of his right hand in Remus's hair. "You look wonderful," he whispered.

Remus blushed. "Thanks. You do too."

"Well, thanks." Sirius suddenly looked concerned. "Rem...I don't want to alarm you, but...did you know that your hair is, uh..."

"Going grey?" Remus supplied. "Yeah, I noticed that earlier. Dad told me it would probably happen...just didn't realise it would be this premature."

"Does it have to do with your--"

"Lycanthropy? Indubitably. I've never heard of a werewolf yet who lived much beyond forty or fifty."

Sirius looked alarmed. "You feeling all right?"

"I'm fine, Siri," Remus assured him. "Little tired--typical post-full-moon rundown--but I promise, I'm not going to die any time soon. It's you Voldemort is really after right now, remember?"

Sirius smiled a little sadly. "Actually, I've been trying to forget about that for a while. I just..." He tightened his embrace. "I just want to focus on the here and now for the moment. Forget the future, forget our promise, forget our leaving...I just want to think about you."

Remus hugged Sirius a little more tightly. "I'm sorry. What do you propose?"

"Well, certainly not going back into the ball," Sirius answered. "Unless you want to give every seventh year a heart attack, to say nothing of my cousin and my brother."

"Er...actually, I think Regulus already knows," Remus said apologetically.

Sirius stopped as the song ended. "What?"

Remus related what had happened after Sirius had vanished, before Remus had set off after him. "Anyway, that was how I knew for sure that I hadn't imagined everything...and he knows what's going on."

Sirius let his hand play through Remus's hair. "So everyone else knows too."

"No! No, of course not," Remus said hastily. Sirius looked at him in surprise. "I mean, come on, Sirius. Who would Regulus tell? He doesn't get along with Bellatrix, he doesn't really know any of the older kids, he wouldn't be caught dead talking to Tonks or James or Lily..."

"I guess you're right." Sirius hesitated. "Do you...I mean, do you want to tell everyone?"

Remus hesitated. "I...well, that is, you see..."

Sirius chuckled. "I understand. Well, the way I see it, we have two options. One, we can go one at a time back into the ball and mix for a while until the ball ends. Two, we can sneak into the castle another way and bypass the ball entirely."

Remus smiled and ran his hand through Sirius's dark hair. "Well, I sure don't want to spend another hour with that lot. Let's try and find a back way in."

Some time later, Remus rolled onto his side and gave Sirius a gentle smile. "I've never done anything like that," he admitted.

"Me neither." Sirius brushed a lock of greying brown hair off of Remus's face and back behind his ear. "But I can't think of anyone I would have rather shared it with than you."

Remus blushed, his smile deepening. "I...well, thank you."

Sirius leaned over and kissed Remus on the neck, making it momentarily impossible for Remus to think coherently, or indeed breathe. "You sure you've never done this before?" he gasped when Sirius drew back.

"Kissing, my love, is in a category all by itself." Sirius grinned teasingly at Remus. "Are you telling me you never kissed Petunia's neck?"

"No! You kidding? It was only last summer that I managed to work up the courage to kiss her on the lips...and I only even did that once or twice before we broke up." Remus gently traced Sirius's jawline with his forefinger. "It was certainly nothing like this."

Sirius laughed lightly. "Oh, how you do go on."

"No, really," Remus insisted, smiling. "Petunia and I were...well, we were a couple of little kids playing at having a grown-up relationship. And I wasn't kidding earlier, it would never have worked out. Her pride won't let her admit it but she can't stand magic, and the thought of having it in her everyday life after she thought she'd managed to ditch Lily was more than she could stand. This is...well, for a start it's more...I don't know, more real. Second of all, and more importantly...Petunia and I are better at being friends, and even better at being enemies. I did a pretty good job of fooling myself, but...I never loved her." He ran his hand lightly over Sirius's chest. "I love you."

Sirius pulled Remus a little closer to him. "I love you too," he whispered, nuzzling Remus's neck.

Remus felt his bones turning to mush...then suddenly tensed. "Sweet good night!" he breathed. "It's that late already?"

Sirius pulled back slightly and rolled over. His eyes widened as he caught sight of the alarm clock behind him. "Holy--where did those two hours go?"

Remus sat up reluctantly. "I guess the others will start coming back soon..."

"Unfortunately," Sirius sighed. He raised his eyes and looked at Remus. "Is anyone going to believe we came up early and went to bed if we put our pyjamas on and get in bed?"

"I doubt it," Remus answered, reaching for his anyway. "They might believe we came up early and...sat in the common room drinking hot chocolate, maybe?"

Sirius smiled. "I like hot chocolate."

Remus smiled back, picked up his bathrobe, and started for the door. "I'll go get started on that...meet you downstairs in a few minutes."

Sirius caught hold of his arm, pulled him down, and kissed him. "See you," he said with a wink.

Remus left the room, blushing, Sirius's laughter following him down the stairs.