Tattered and Torn

"Hold on, Jamie-bug." James stopped outside Number Four and studied the porch, then nodded with satisfaction. Hermione Granger was nowhere to be seen.

Jamie looked up at her father. "Dad, if you want to talk to Harry, go ahead. I can wait."

James turned and smiled at his oldest daughter. "I shouldn't be very long." He started up the path, but before he reached the porch the door opened and, to his mild dismay, Hermione stepped out and quietly closed the door behind her, a book in her hand.

She looked up, saw James, and scowled. "Oh. It's you."

James matched her scowl. "Is Harry home?"

"Yes." Hermione crossed her arms over her chest and offered nothing further.

"Well, then, let me talk to him."

"No," Hermione said coolly, meeting his eyes with a cold fury.

"What are you, his social secretary?" James snapped. "Let me see my son!"

Hermione glared fiercely. "You call him that, but I wonder if you actually know what that means?"

James frowned. "It means that I am his father."

"You're not his father."

The statement hit James like a ton of bricks. "You don't know what you're talking about," he said coldly, taking a menacing step towards Hermione. "Look at that boy and tell me I'm not his father!"

"Oh, you're his dad, all right," Hermione snapped. "You donated your DNA and gave him half his genes...you contributed to his creation. You may be his dad, but you aren't his father."

"It's the same bloody thing!"

"No, it is not!" Hermione practically shouted. "A dad brings a person into the world, but a father helps him survive it!"
James looked at her incredulously. "That made absolutely no sense!"

"Maybe you're the one who isn't making sense," Hermione retorted cuttingly.

James was on the verge of snapping again, but Jamie tugged on his sleeve. "Dad..."

"What?" James barked, turning on his daughter.

Jamie looked nervous, but she stood her ground. "Dad, she's right. You're my father and Virginia's father and Erin's father, but to Harry you're just his dad. He's had to look to other people for the things Erin and Virginia and I look to you for."

James frowned. "What do you mean?"

"Well..." Jamie hesitated. "Well, last night for example. Erin had a nightmare, remember? She ran into your room and got in bed with you and told you all about it, and you made her feel better. That's being a father. Has Harry ever come to you with a problem or a nightmare or something and asked you to make it better?"

"I haven't seen him in a couple of weeks," James mumbled.

"That's your own damn fault," Hermione snapped. "Did you ask, even once, how Remus was or if he was feeling better, or where he was or if he was up to visitors? Do you even care?"

"I've been busy!" James snapped back. "Unlike some people, I have a family to take care of! I don't have time to visit hospitals!"

"And you're too busy to take five seconds to ask if your best friend is feeling all right?" Hermione shouted.

"It slipped my mind!" James shouted back.

Hermione opened her mouth to yell something back, but just then the door opened and a soft voice sort of mumbled, "Hermione?"

Hermione turned around and looked apologetic. "I'm sorry, Harry, did I wake you up?"

Harry stepped out onto the porch and shook his head. "I wasn't asleep."

"Morning, Harry," James said cheerfully, ignoring Hermione.

Harry looked over, evidently noticing James for the first time, and forced a feeble half-smile. He was pale and looked a little distant, as though he had only just woken up--but he'd just said he wasn't asleep, so James couldn't make heads or tales of it. "Oh...morning."

Jamie elbowed her father and flicked her eyes over Hermione, who was fixing James with a Death Glare. James remembered what he'd been shouting about and asked quickly, "Er...how's Remus?"

What little colour there was in Harry's face left it. His eyes filled with tears. Wordlessly, he turned and went back into the house.

"Was it something I said?" James asked Jamie uncertainly.

Hermione rolled her eyes. "I give up," she practically spat. She turned and followed Harry back inside.

James shrugged and started leading Jamie down the path. Halfway to the main footpath, they met Lily coming towards them. "Harry's inside, but he doesn't look like he's in the mood to talk," James said as he passed her.

Lily stopped and gave him a funny look. "No, well, I didn't expect him to be. Yesterday was hard on him." She paused for a minute, then added quietly, "Hard on us all."

"Why, what happened yesterday?" James inquired.

Lily turned and stared at him incredulously. "You didn't get my letter?"

"What letter?"

"I sent you a letter three days ago, addressed to James Potter and family...I even sent it by the Muggle post."

"If it didn't have a return address, I haven't opened it yet. I figured it was just a junk letter of some sort."

Lily gaped at him. "James, you prat! No wonder Hermione can't stand you!"

James felt his temper flare. "What? Why are you so irritated with me?"

"James...that letter was an invitation," Lily said quietly. "And a notification. It's...it's Remus."

"What, he getting released?" James asked.

Lily shook her head. "James, he...he's gone," she said softly. "He died four days ago. His funeral was yesterday. I wondered why you weren't there."

James was momentarily frozen to the spot. "I...he...damn it, why didn't anyone tell me?" he said angrily.

"James Adonijah Potter, haven't you been listening?" Lily practically shouted. "I sent you a letter that you didn't open!"

"Well, why didn't anyone tell me to my face?" James retorted. "Harry doesn't live so far away, he could have..."

"James, this is quite literally killing him. He's lost, he's scared, he's hurt, he's..."

"What about me?" James barked before he could stop himself.

"Not everything is about you!" Lily said furiously. "At the moment, we are talking about Harry! The man he cared about more than anything else in the world was killed right in front of him a month ago..."

"That's his fault," James muttered.

"...and the only family he had left literally died in his arms four days ago. What did you just say?" Lily concluded, narrowing her eyes.

"It's Harry's fault that Sirius died," James repeated, realising that he was rapidly approaching the point of no return but unable to stop himself, like a car that's just begun rolling down a hill at top speed and suddenly discovered that the brakes are shot. "He told me all about what happened--if he had thought to wait, if he hadn't bothered to go to that damned Ministry building..."

"James!" Lily cried, shocked. "Harry went because he cared. Are you trying to tell me...if you thought someone you cared about was in danger...you wouldn't rush ahead? Try to save them even if someone warned you it might be a trap?"

"Of course not," James snapped. "If I thought it might not be real..."

"And if it was? You'd feel horribly guilty!"

"I...I..."

"Oh, shut up," Lily snapped. "I'm starting to think Petunia was right about you all those years ago." She stalked up the path towards the house. James grabbed Jamie by the arm and dragged her off down the street, fuming silently.