A Second Scoop of Rita Skeeter

Hey there! Rita Skeeter, Daily Prophet Reporter, back again with more from Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry! Once again, some of these quotes are veeeeeeeeery revealing (and might make some people very angry too, which will make me happy)! Please read and enjoy.

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"If a pretty poster and a cute saying is all you need to get motivated, you probably have a very easy job. The kind robots will be doing soon. Robots--you know, mechanical men? It's a Muggle thing."--Allen Iverson, Hufflepuff Seventh Year (soon to be expelled), to Minerva McGonagall, Transfiguration teacher, observing McGonagall's motivational poster (he's probably right, actually).

"There are no stupid questions, but there are a LOT of inquisitive idiots."--Severus Snape (great guy--hot, too), Potions teacher, to the Gryffindor Fifth Years (who make up about nine of the inquisitive idiots).

"Leaders are like eagles. We don't have either one of them here."-- Ron Weasley, Gryffindor Fifth Year, whispered to Harry Potter, Gryffindor Sixth Year, the Boy-Who-Lived, in the back of Potions class, on the subject of Professor Snape (I'm telling!).

"When the winds of change blow hard enough, the most trivial of things can turn into deadly problems." -Harry Potter, Gryffindor Sixth Year, the Boy-Who-Lived, watching a storm blow across the grounds (and a tree being impaled by a flying piece of straw).

"If you want to get to the top, be prepared to kiss a lot of the bottom." -Terry Boot, Ravenclaw Sixth Year, on how he got to where he is (um, ew).

"You aren't being paid to believe in the power of your dreams."--Albus Dumbledore, Hogwarts Headmaster, to Gilderoy Lockhart, Defence Against the Dark Arts teacher (That isn't nice, Professor! I think he's cute).

***Along with Snape? ***

(Who are you?)

***I'm the narrator***

(Well, yes, although I think Gilderoy is a little cuter.)

***Ah. Carry on***

"Always remember that you are unique. Just like everyone else."--Marc Moon, Ravenclaw Fifth Year, to his little brother Matthew, Gryffindor First Year (real sweet, Marc).

"No one can make you feel inferior without your consent, but you'd be a fool to withhold that from your superiors."--Sybil Trelawney, Divination teacher, to Colin Creevey, Gryffindor Fourth Year (Shut up, Sybil).

"Until you spread your wings, you will never know how far you can walk."--Padma Patil, Ravenclaw Fifth Year, to twin sister Parvati of Gryffindor (Interesting...!).

"None of us is as dumb as all of us." -Gregory Goyle, Slytherin Sixth Year, to his fellow Slytherins (minus Draco--now that boy is smart).

"Much work remains to be done before we can announce our total failure to make any progress."--Ginny Weasley, Gryffindor Fifth Year, to her Potions partner Alexandra Lisbon, Slytherin Fifth Year (Erm...I'm confused).

"As long as we have each other, we'll never run out of problems." -Colin Creevey, Gryffindor Fifth Year, to Ginny Weasley, Gryffindor Fifth Year (I sense romance--which means I smell a story--which means there's two new lives to ruin! Yay!).

"It's best to avoid standing between a competitive jerk and his goals."--Oliver Wood, Hogwarts Alumni returned for a visit (and a competitive jerk).

"It's always darkest just before it goes pitch black." -Alex Grambel, Hufflepuff Third Year, to (very depressed) Ernie Macmillan, Hufflepuff Sixth Year.

"The downside of being better than everyone else is that people tend to assume you're pretentious."--Draco Malfoy, Slytherin Sixth Year (bit conceited, isn't he?).

"If you can't learn to do something well, learn to enjoy doing it poorly." -Hannah Abbot, Hufflepuff Sixth Year, on the subject of Herbology (thought that was supposed to be the Hufflepuffs' best subject).

"It could be that the purpose of your life is to serve as a warning to others." -Seamus Finnigan, Gryffindor Sixth Year, to Neville Longbottom, Gryffindor Sixth Year (need I say more?).

"Hard work often pays off after time, but laziness always pays off now." -Vincent Crabbe, Slytherin Sixth Year (and very, very lazy).

"There are three third-person pronouns: he, she, and it. Pansy is a she. Draco is a he. I am an it." -Blaise Zabini, Slytherin Sixth Year (says it all, doesn't it?).

"Be careful of where you tread. The feet you stomp today may be attached to the ass you kiss tomorrow." -Abscissa Vector, Arithmancy teacher (quite true, Abscissa!).

"Grant me the strength to change what I can, the grace to accept what I cannot change, and the indifference to not care about either one." -Unknown Hufflepuff saying her prayers.

"That beetle is Rita Skeeter! Let's get her!" -Hermione Granger, Gryffindor Sixth Year (well, maybe I won't print this one).

"You have every right to listen to my opinion." -Merry Brandybuck, Gryffindor First Year (really short kid), Hobbit.

"I wasn't born a bitch. Men like you made me this way." -Minerva McGonagall, Transfiguration teacher, to Severus Snape, Potions master (boy, she must have been annoyed!).

"I'm trying to see things from your point of view, but I can't get my head that far up my ass." -Neville Longbottom, (very pissed) Gryffindor Sixth Year, to Draco Malfoy, Slytherin Sixth Year (the conceited git with his head up his ass).

"Do you know the Muffin Man?" -Anna Lewis, Gryffindor First Year (what the...?).

"Just remember, never meddle in the affairs of dragons, for you are crunchy and taste good with ketchup." -Christian Joy, Hufflepuff First Year, to brother Alex, visiting Hogwarts (and how did we find this out, Christian?).

"Chelsea, you're a buccaneer!" -Janey Stowe, (insane) Gryffindor Third Year, to Chelsea Woodhouse, Gryffindor Third Year, at two A.M. (how odd!)

"There is a theory which states that if ever anyone discovers exactly what the Universe is for and why it is here, it will instantly disappear and be replaced by something even more bizarre and inexplicable. There is another which states that this has already happened." -Bronwyn Sciance, Gryffindor Third Year (geek).

"Don't walk ahead of me; I may not follow. Don't walk behind me; I may not lead. Don't walk beside me either. Just leave me the hell alone."-Becca Rand, (soon-to-be-expelled) Gryffindor Third Year, to Severus Snape, Potions teacher (having made numerous comments on his hotness, I will cease and desist here).

"What does this button do?" -Erica Wills, Gryffindor Third Year (just before pressing the button and making a statue collapse).

"You say 'psycho' like it's a bad thing!" -Ellie Hall, (psycho) Gryffindor Third Year, to Liz Foss, (normal) Gryffindor Third Year.

"Looks like somebody fell into the gene pool when the lifeguard wasn't looking." -Erin Baucom, (overly casual) Gryffindor Third Year to Cara Smith, (absolutely terrified) Gryffindor Third Year, as Draco Malfoy, (multiply mentioned) Slytherin Fifth Year, dances by naked (Eurgh! I'm scarred for life!).

"Chaos, disorder, and mayhem--my work here is done." -Margaret Herre, Gryffindor Third Year, watching the Slytherin Quiddich team tumble over one another because Draco Malfoy (git) tripped (over a large stick Margaret enchanted to sit floating in front of him--very sneaky! I approve!).

"What type of moment is this? An ENRIQUE moment!"-Caterina Matena Crouch, (very insane) Gryffindor Third Year (erm...okay...)

"If you're rich, I'm single."--Erin Sullivan, Gryffindor First Year (who wishes she was a Slytherin), to (extremely poor) Dennis Creevey, Gryffindor Second Year.

"When you turn forty, your memory is the second thing to go. I can't remember what the first one is." -Gilderoy Lockhart, Defence Against the Dark Arts teacher.

Well, I hope you've enjoyed my little article! (I know I have, once again.) Whoops--the dreaded Deadline! I've got to turn this in! Rita Skeeter, Daily Prophet reporter, signing off!