Drifting

Chapter 5: Never Judge a Person by His Looks

"Believe it or not everyone has things that they hide

Believe it or not everyone keeps most things inside

Believe it or not everyone believed in something above

Believe it or not everyone needs to feel loved"

Nickelback, Believe it or Not

~*~

The next day, Harry woke up to the dripping of the rain. He was lying on something that wasn't Hermione's lap. Reluctantly, he opened his eyes and saw that Hermione was gone. He wondered when she had left.

Yawning and stretching, Harry sat up and groped around in the dim light for his glasses. He had had them on when he fell asleep. He assumed Hermione had taken them off.

"Harry!" came a shout.

"Yeah?" Harry yelled back.

"Breakfast! You and Dudley need to eat before you leave," said the voice that Harry determined belonged to his Aunt Petunia.

"I'll be down in a minute."

Yawning once more, Harry slid off the bed and walked over to his closet and pulled out his clothes for the day.

"Harry!"

Or I suppose I can take a shower after I eat breakfast, he thought as he trudged down the stairs.

As he entered the kitchen he could feel his Uncle Vernon's watchful eyes on him. It took Vernon less than three seconds to find fault with Harry.

"Why aren't you dressed in your day clothes, boy?" he barked.

Harry spun around to face him. "I wanted to take a shower but I decided it would be better to eat now so Aunt Petunia's breakfast wouldn't go to waste."

Harry knew he could care less if his Aunt's food was ruined or not. The only thing that prompted him to say that was because if he started a row with his Uncle, he might not allow Harry to go to his driving lessons. After living with the Dursleys for most of his life, he knew when not to cross his Uncle.

Harry pulled a chair out and sat down in it. Aunt Petunia placed a small plate in front of him with only two pieces of toast. A minute later a small glass of orange juice was added to his pitiful breakfast. He mumbled a quick thanks as he spread some butter on the toast and took a bite.

"Oh, Harry, your friend is coming in half an hour. We'll be taking her and Piers along with us," Aunt Petunia said.

Harry nodded as he downed his juice in three large gulps.

"You will be paying for your own lessons-"

"What about Dudley?" Harry interrupted suddenly.

"What about my little Diddykins?"

Harry had to repress a snort at the nickname. Dudley squirmed uncomfortably in his chair.

"Am I paying for him too?"

"What a great idea, Petunia. How about we let-" Vernon started.

"No," Petunia cut in quickly. "We will pay for Dudley. You only have to pay for yourself."

Harry nodded mutely and excused himself from the table. About twenty minutes later, after he had taken his shower and dressed, he heard the doorbell ring. He knew it was Hermione, even though he still wished it was Ginny coming sooner than she said she would. All the same, Harry raced out of his room, sliding down the banister on the stairs and landing with a thump. He jumped over a pair of Dudley's shoes and casually opened the door.

Hermione stood there smiling at him. She had a pencil tucked neatly in the bun that her hair was swirled in and a small paper bag lunch.

"Hello, Harry," she greeted.

Harry moved back to allow her into the house. She entered, bending down to untie her shoes.

"Hey there, Hermione."

Hermione looked up at him, still beaming. She began to notice his confused look.

"Excited about today?" Harry asked, having no clue why she was so happy.

"Yes! Er-well-I mean-Oh, Harry, Ron sent me an owl today. He...he...said that he's in...that he's in love with me," she finished weakly.

Harry began to laugh. Hermione looked offended.

"He also asked me to be his...girlfriend..." Hermione added.

Harry just kept laughing.

"What's so funny!" she finally yelled.

"I was waiting for when he would ask you! I'm the one who told the git to do it! Merlin knows he'd go crazy if he didn't tell you sometime," Harry said as his laughter subsided.

"Oh," Hermione said softly. "So you had to make him." She looked put out.

"No, not at all! I just gave him a little push in the right direction. He sent me a letter saying that he was in love with you and he didn't know what to do. I told him to follow his heart. That's exactly what he did."

Hermione smiled again. "At least I don't have to hide my feelings anymore. Now about you and Ginny-"

"Harry!" his Aunt Petunia yelled. "Are you and your friend ready to go?"

Harry looked at Hermione who was already re-lacing her shoes.

"Yes."

~*~

"Ron!" Ginny yelled up the stairs. "Pig's back!"

The youngest Weasley closed her eyes and counted to ten. When she opened them, Ron was already in the kitchen just as she knew he would be.

"Well," Ginny said as she slumped into a chair, "what did she say?"

"Yes," Ron whispered. Then louder, "YES!"

He immediately flung himself onto his little sister, hugging her until she thought he'd crack one of her ribs if he squeezed any harder. Ron let her go, grinning broadly from ear to ear. Ginny returned the smile.

"I can't believe it," Ron said. "Hermione's my girlfriend!"

Molly walked into the kitchen. When she saw Ron hugging Ginny she knew something very good had just happened.

"OWL results, Ron dear?" she asked.

"No. Something even better," Ginny piped up.

Ron wordlessly handed his mum the letter from Hermione. He was still grinning like a lunatic.

It took Molly only a few moments to scan the letter. When she handed it back to Ron, she too had a smile plastered on her face.

"That's great, Ronnie!" she cooed.

"Can you please not call me that," Ron groaned.

Ginny laughed.

"Ronnie and Hermione sitting in a tree k-i-s-s-i-n-g, first comes love, then comes-" she began to chant.

"Ginny!" Molly scolded, though she laughed all the same.

Ron was blushing that famous Weasley blush. Ginny fell off her seat and was rolling around on the floor roaring in laughter. Fred and George came in, and after quickly scanning the letter joined Ginny on the floor.

"You know Ron," Molly said, "all the Weasleys are notorious for their huge hearts when it comes to love. In this case you really are the King of Hearts."

Ron only blushed harder.

~*~

Harry sat sullenly in the car. He and Hermione were sitting in the very back of his Aunt's van, Dudley and Piers were sitting in the middle seats and Aunt Petunia was driving.

It wasn't that Harry wasn't happy for his two best friends. He had secretly been praying they'd get together so he wouldn't have to suffer through any more of their fights. It's just that now they'd leave him alone to spend time with each other. He felt like he might as well have continued living as the lonely boy who slept in the cupboard under the stairs.

Hermione kept shooting glances at him. She opened her mouth several times to try and start a conversation, each time closing it again without making a sound. The radio was playing softly in the background.

"Talk to me. Harry, please!" Hermione begged.

"I'm just ashamed," Harry whispered.

"What do you have to be ashamed of?"

Harry didn't answer. He wanted to tell her that he felt guilty that he wanted to keep his friends by his side and never let them leave. He knew he couldn't. Hermione had wanted to be with Ron for a very long time. Harry knew that he couldn't stop true love.

"Well?"

Harry still didn't speak. He just hung his head. His bangs fell. His hair was long enough now that it covered his scar. Hermione wondered sadly if he was happy about that. She wondered if he even cared anymore.

"I really don't know what's going on with me. I just don't feel like myself. Emptiness, that's what fills me up inside," Harry said, not wanting to talk about Hermione and Ron but still speaking the truth. "I'm devoid of emotion. I can't feel anything except for sorrow and pain. No one can seem to do anything for me, unless it's someone I can't think of right now. I mean I wake up most days wishing I were someone else. I know it's selfish but I wish that somebody else could suffer for once. I hate most of the things in my life. Every time I think something is going to turn out okay, it always turns out wrong. I don't know anything for certain anymore... its kind of scary. I'm helpless because I'm too dead inside. I suppose there's some 'love' left in there but... I don't know... I think some of me died with my parents and Sirius and even Cedric 'cause I've never been the same after their deaths. I'll stop now, I'm ranting I know," Harry sighed. "I wish there was something someone could do to make it all go away."

Hermione just looked at him, knowing full well she could do nothing for him right now. I wish he'd just wake up one day and realize that it doesn't all come down to him, she thought sadly. Little did Hermione know that it really did come down to Harry and that he had no intention of ever telling her until it was close to the end.

~*~

The rest of the ride was sat in silence. When they arrived, Harry was the last out of the car. He shut the door as he turned to look at where they were.

It was a big gray building. There was a sign hanging above the entrance that said SUMMER DRIVING LESSONS HERE. From the looks of it there was a showroom of cars on the inside, judging by the fact Harry could see cars through the many large glass windows. He could also see someone standing at the door to meet them.

Harry followed everyone else in. It turned out the person by the door was their instructor, Mr. William Crofield. He told everyone to just call him Billy.

"Just this way, kids," Billy motioned.

The four teenagers followed Billy down a dimly lit hall and into a classroom. Apparently Billy taught a lot of drivers ed classes.

Harry noticed that someone else was already there. It was a boy with bleach-blond hair and cold gray-blue eyes. Harry's eyes widening considerably as realization dawned on him. He knew the boy who was sitting before him.

"Malfoy?"

~*~

Three days earlier

Draco sat, reading another entry from his father's journal. This one, just as the past three, talked about Lucius's excitement about his upcoming mission. Draco thought it was pretty boring so far but he knew that if he kept reading he'd find something good.

Sighing, he shut the book and picked up the Muggle newspaper lying on the table before him. There was nothing that caught his eye on the front page so he flipped through it, stopping on random pages. Then he came to and ad for a driving class.

Nothing in the Muggle world could keep Draco's interest for very long. With his strict Muggle-hating upbringing, he never really learned anything about the other world. The only thing that had ever fascinated him about the Muggle world was a car.

Once, when he was nine, he and his father were walking along the edge of Muggle London, making their way towards the Leaky Cauldron. The streets were crowded with funny looking things made of metal that moved. Draco didn't understand them at all. When he asked his father, the only response he had gotten was, "don't ask silly questions."

As he watched more and more of these contraptions speed by, he thought to himself that these metal things were actually quite cool. One time, a convertible passed them. There was a man driving it who couldn't have been older than twenty. He had girls fawning all over him as he drove. Draco heard one say, "oh, Jason, what a cool car!"

Cars, Draco had thought to himself. So that's what those things are called.

Immediately he knew he wanted to learn to drive one. Draco knew he wanted that very same car. He wanted to have girls fawning all over him too.

As the now almost sixteen-year-old Draco looked at the ad, he decided that now was his chance. He would learn to drive and he would get that car.

He saw a number at the bottom of the ad. Now that he knew how to use a telephone; he called the number and signed himself up.

~*~

"Potter, Mu-Granger," Draco acknowledged, holding back the slip of Mudblood on his tongue.

"You two know him?" Dudley asked.

"Unfortunately yes," Hermione snarled. "Come on Harry."

Hermione yanked Harry's arm and dragged him to a seat across the room in the front. As soon as she let go, Harry went to sit three seats away from Draco in the back. He pointedly ignored Hermione's look of protest. Dudley and Piers took up seats in the middle row.

"So," Billy started, "this is our class. First off, let's do some introductions. State your name and one thing about you. You girl, in the front, you may start."

Hermione beamed at being called on first. "Hermione Granger, sir. I like to read."

Harry snickered softly, as did Draco. Hermione heard.

"Harry?" she snarled, giving him a menacing look.

Harry shrugged it off. "Harry Potter. I suppose I like to play basketball," he said in a far off voice. "Malfoy?"

"Draco Malfoy." He paused, not knowing much about Muggle life. "I like to run."

Draco noticed that Harry looked at him curiously, as if seeing something new inside of him. The blond noted the far away look in Harry's eyes. It was one that clearly stated; hi, I'm Harry Potter. I'm not having an easy time right now so if you'd be kind enough to LEAVE ME THE HELL ALONE I'd greatly appreciate it.

"You, Harry's cousin, whatever your name is," Draco said, returning to the conversation.

"It's Dudley!" the boy said. "If you can't get it right I'll-"

"Shut up and get on with it Dudley," Harry snapped.

Dudley shot his cousin a look that clearly said 'I'll deal with you later'.

"Dudley Dursley. I'm a champion boxer. Piers?"

"Piers Polkiss. I like to beat up little kids."

Billy thought for a moment before continuing.

"Great! Now, if we could get started on the lesson..."

Draco tuned Billy out. He didn't really care what the man was saying, he'd study it all later out of the booklet he had. Draco was more intent on watching Harry to figure out exactly what was wrong with him.

Harry turned towards him slightly, staring back at the blond. After a few moments Harry turned away again and commenced staring out the window for the rest of the lesson. Draco frowned. Harry never just stared out a window. He may not have always paid much attention in class but this was too much. Draco resolved that he'd have to talk to Harry later.

In front of him, he saw Dudley and Piers talking about something quietly. After a few minutes of listening in Draco came the conclusion it was about one of their girlfriends.

Hermione seemed to be the only one paying any attention. She kept stopping Billy to ask him questions every so often. Once in a while she'd turn around to glare at Harry (she was still mad at him) but he never saw.

"Mr. Potter! Mr. Potter!" Billy said, trying to get Harry's attention.

Draco sighed. Billy's attempts clearly weren't working as Harry was too far away in his thoughts to hear.

"Oi! Scar face! The man's trying to ask you a question," Draco said.

"Huh?" Harry said, his head snapping back to face the room.

Billy was slightly unnerved by the way Harry was acting but continued with the lesson anyway.

"Mr. Potter, could you kindly sum up what we've just been talking about?"

Harry's eyes grew wide. He stared at Hermione for help; help he knew she wouldn't give. In an act of desperation he turned to Draco, his eyes holding a pleading look. He had absolutely no clue what was going on. Neither did Draco, most unfortunately.

"Mr. Potter?"

"Er-"

Hermione sighed loudly. "I'm sorry, Billy, but you'll have to forgive Harry. His father recently died and he's not taking it too well at all."

"But Harry's father-" Draco started.

"I will talk to you after class you bastard!" Hermione hissed.

Suddenly Harry snapped back to reality. "I'm not quite sure how to word it, sir, but you might want to ask Hermione."

Billy nodded and turned to ask Hermione.

~*~

"Didn't your father ever tell you not to blow a cover story?" Hermione yelled.

"Yes and he also told me never to do anything with Muggles but does it look like I listened to him?" Draco responded calmly. "Why don't you just tell me what this is all about? You are the smart one here after all."

They were sitting outside at a picnic table. Draco was eating his lunch as Hermione stood over him. Her eyes were full of fury.

Hermione rolled her eyes but gave in to Draco's request. "Someone very close to Harry died a few weeks ago. I used his dad because it just fit as a good cover up. If you want to know who, you'd have to ask Harry."

Normally Draco would have just turned and asked Harry but Harry wasn't there. He remembered hearing Harry tell Hermione something about the creek behind the building. Glancing at Hermione, who merely shrugged, he got up and went to find Harry.

As said, the other boy was at the creek. He was sleeping in the grass on the banks of the creek. Draco wondered what he was dreaming.

___________

He was falling through a sea of darkness. He tried to cry out but he couldn't hear himself. Everything was pitch black and he couldn't see more than a few inches in front of himself.

He'd lost track of how much time he'd been falling for. He couldn't remember what he'd fallen into. He just knew there wasn't a way out.

With a thud he hit the ground. It took all of his strength to push himself up into a sitting position. He looked around blankly, still not knowing where he was.

It seemed to be a dirt road, leading to the edge of something that strongly resembled a cliff. Instead of rocks lining the path, like they sometimes did, there were daggers with green handles and blood streaks on them. They made him shiver.

Somehow he managed to stand. He forced himself to walk onward but something blocked his way.

There was a flash of white light that filled his vision. He threw an arm over his face to protect his eyes from the blinding light. After a few moments it dimmed and he removed the arm. Three ghosts of people floated before him. Each had its own shimmering gold halo. He recognized them instantly.

James Potter, Lily Potter, and Sirius Black floated in midair before him.

He screamed once before he was brought back to consciousness.

___________

Draco heard Harry scream. He watched as the other boy's eyes shot open. The look on Harry's face was pure terror.

"What? Did you see yourself in a mirror or something?" Draco said in a feeble attempt to crack a joke.

Harry didn't respond immediately. He leaned over the creek and splashed water on his face.

"No," Harry said finally. "I saw a spitting image of myself though."

Draco knew only one person that looked anything like Harry. All the teachers said that Harry looked exactly like his father.

"So you saw your father. Why would that make you scream?"

"I saw not just my father but my mother and godfather too. I know what it means. Voldemort knows how I'm feeling right now. He knew already that Sirius was the closest thing I'd ever had to a parent. That's how he tricked me into going to the Ministry to get the prophecy last year. That's how Sirius died; because I love to 'play the hero.'"

"Too right," Draco muttered.

"Voldemort's been probing my mind again, I suppose. He's just using me again. He'll find the way to break me and use it. Or correction, he already found the way to break me and he is using it to his advantage. Really, just because I'm the only one who can kill him..." Harry said before he could stop himself.

Draco took a few moments to digest all the information.

"Why are you telling me all this?" he asked.

Harry thought for a moment. "I really don't know. I can't think straight anymore."

Apparently that was all Harry felt like saying because he left to go find Hermione. Draco continued to sit by the creek for a long time, trying to find the true meaning of Harry's words. He had completely forgotten the reason he had come to find Harry in the first place.

Maybe Potter isn't the person I always thought he was.