Found Wanting

Author Notes:

A lot of the following does not follow certain rules in the Harry Potter universe - I apologize. It's mainly little things that won't entirely affect the plot. The war started in Trio's fifth year.

Found Wanting

Chapter 1: Found

It was nine-thirty in the morning, and the sun was struggling through the dreary London clouds. Hermione Granger hastily made her way through the early crowd, knowing that she was already late for work and still had not gotten her daily breakfast. Her retail job at Finishing the End - a Muggle bookstore - could wait for the moment. With no chance of getting chastised because of an entirely apathetic boss, there was no need to rush.

Hermione, a twenty-three year old young woman, had quickly discovered how simple it was to fall into a tedious routine of food, work, food, sleep, repeat. Her life as a shell of a human floating day after day, week after week through the world and doing her best to forget was not going as well as planned.

She had hoped, that perhaps, when she left, it would be over soon. Her friends would win the war, and she could settle down and have a family in the Muggle world she had receded to. She could then tell her children stories about her magical past, but how she had to give it up because of fear and apprehension of the unpredictable future.

Well, she didn't have to give it up. No, not at all - she had wholly chosen to do so. A decision made in a moment of frightened haste - but had it been the right one?

Had it been regrettable?

Ah, but it can't be regrettable if it's not permanent,

her mind mused.

But it

is permanent, she thought back, fiercely and defensively. But whenever she thought this, she had the undeniable feeling of falseness about the sentence.

Her head still hadn't cleared enough in her two-year absence to answer that question.

Upon entering the nameless monopoly-like café she often visited, Hermione's nostrils detected the unique aroma of coffee and pastries as she made her way towards the counter. Digging through the contents of her coat pocket to retrieve the exact amount of change needed for her soon-to-be purchase, she continued walking until her shoe tapped lightly against the solid oak of the counter.

Eyes still downcast, she spoke hurriedly, "I'd like a French vanilla latte with one chocolate-" the brunette was cut-off abruptly as she ordered in her normal pace of voice, expecting Andre - her most frequent server - to be grinning and saying, "The usual."

But it was quite a different voice, with quite a different statement, from a very different man.

"Might have to repeat that for me, miss. It's my first day here, and I'm not too quick with the orders yet."

With one hand paused inside the coat at the familiarity of the amused tone, golden brown eyes rose up to meet twinkling ebony orbs.

Black eyes that were framed by shapely brows, a strong nose, and full desirable lips that had not been known to her for eight years.

Nearly choking, her eyes widened. "Sirius?"

Clearly misunderstanding, the man with the dark red nametag reading 'Ben' frowned slightly, but the twinkle remained. "Yes, I'm serious. I'm new here, and I apologize for not being able to follow you at first."

She was a regular, Ben could tell. She spoke her order with a confidence that tourists and newbies didn't possess, and she obviously had already known her total for her delicate hand still lay numbly inside of her coat, fishing for change. As bonkers as she appeared to him at the moment, she was absolutely enthralling. At their slightly close proximity, he could feel something around her - a type of aura. It felt like electricity - no, not electricity - magnetism.

Figuring that neither he nor the brunette in front of him had donned oppositely charged magnets that morning, he felt his mood soar.

Just my luck,

he mused, plastic service smile on his face, I fall for a crazy woman who can't handle a change in her daily routine.

It's him - it's his voice.

His voice. A sweet sound thought to be lost forever to the ears of mankind, and here it was, chiding her for rude behavior.

As the rational Hermione gave way to a much more rare confused and shocked one, thoughts clouded her mind. Had Sirius been alive all this time, thoroughly avoiding them? Just why had he been letting them drown in the painful ignorance of his whereabouts?

But if that were the case, and Sirius had merely been hiding from them, he would show a little more recognition at seeing Hermione's very familiar (although older) face. This man - whether he was Sirius or not - surely did not know her at all.

Using mental exercises she had learned before leaving (usually for calming yourself when in the middle of a deadly confrontation), Hermione's mind cleared and she let her cleverness overcome her as she sought out an efficient plan.

Replacing her shocked expression with one that gave the essence of sweet and calm, she grinned up at the man in front of her.

"Sorry about that, Ben," she drawled in a tone that sadly reminded her of Malfoy, but the sensible part of her brain knew how effective that drawl had been and merely hoped that her brown eyes were flashing in a catching way from behind her long lashes.

He arched an eyebrow (an act she recalled in a bittersweet sense, it being her favorite mannerism of Sirius) in response to her sudden mood swing, but smiled encouragingly for her to go on.

If anything, this abrupt change only allured Ben more. Instead of coming off as bonkers, she nearly pulled off spontaneity. Instead of seeming shallow and blunt at her request once really noticing him, she appeared merely curious.

Latte forgotten completely, Hermione turned on what little female charm she had and offered the apron-wearing heartthrob a date.

He seemed unsurprised, but nonetheless pleased. Not bad for a first day, hmm? Grinning boldly, Ben quickly established himself as the experienced dater he was. "My shift ends at seven. Dinner?"

Doing her best to also appear nonchalant and practiced, Hermione noticed the irony after attempting an impression of a Marauder smirk. "I'll pick you up here, at seven."

With a final wink and a small push off of the counter, she exited the coffee shop, doing her best to hide her shaking body.

Once outdoors, her entire façade seemed to crash down around here. She shied away from the crowd around her to lean against the wall, feeling that everyone was looking at her. Everyone knew what she was, and what she had done. How she had betrayed those she loved most. For the first time in years, she felt the guilt nearly suffocate her.

Seeing Sirius had brought everything back in a whirl of Technicolor. From the reason she left, to the day she left, to the way she left. She wasn't sure if she should have gotten involved in something like this, or even if the others would have wanted her to get involved, but he was alive. He was alive and she knew that she had to formulate a better plan than a cozy little Italian restaurant on a busy London street. Hermione Granger didn't find herself in a predicament that she had no response for.

Except for her own life.

Ben never realized that she never placed an order.

*

Hermione soon realized, as she sat at a vacant table in the back of the bookstore, that the second stage of emotion after such a surprise was doubt.

Maybe it wasn't Sirius at all.

Another thought chased after this one.

What if it was someone using polyjuice?

Immediately following this absurd accusation, Hermione scowled. Who on earth would carry around one of Sirius Black's hairs for eight years after he died, just to work at a coffee shop?

A coffee shop that was a main part of her daily routine...

She shook her head, knowing that she wasn't as important as all that. Why would someone impersonate a dead friend to get to her? She wasn't of much use to anyone... not anymore. She couldn't be.

No, it was him, and she was sure of it. Although he didn't seem to remember his past, he had drastically similar expressions and actions as Sirius had. It had to be him.

But her paranoid self wouldn't forget the impostor of Mad-Eye Moody in her fourth year of school, and how no one had ever accused him of such a crime.

Moments later, as Hermione shuffled around some products, the shop still pitifully empty of customers, she decided that after making a final decision on who Ben really was (and if she was positive he was Black) she would speak with Albus Dumbledore... for the first time in two years. Before that, she had to be absolutely positive that this man's past was as incomplete as she was assuming it to be.

"Oi! Hermione!" called the voice of Celia, Hermione's annoying (and of course, Muggle) co-worker.

Putting down a rather heavy stack of books, she turned her head in the direction of the yelping blond. "Yes?"

Celia swooped nearer to Hermione, her many bangles clinking unpleasantly, vividly reminding the young witch of her former Divination teacher. She had a nail file clutched tightly in one hand, making it obvious that the most work she did around the store involved her own personal hygiene. Sadly, Hermione was unable to complain to the boss - who happened to be Celia's aunt.

"You have a visitor," she smiled, then lowered her voice a great deal. "Really cute, too! Think you can slip me his number?"

Hermione frowned at this news. A series of plausible candidates flooded her mind. The first had been Darren, her Muggle boyfriend. But Celia had met him numerous times, and after weeks of Darren very pointedly turning down her unwanted affection, she had lost interest. No, this person was new to Celia - a fresh target.

Fear flared in Hermione's chest. Was it Ben, early for their 'date'? But the feeling diminished as quickly as it had surfaced. He didn't have even the slightest idea of where she worked.

So, more than likely, Celia's new interest didn't even have a phone number Hermione could 'slip'. This visitor was one of those she had left behind.

Why would one of them be here?

Hermione thought, not realizing how she classified her old friends as 'them' - like they were some diseased beggars she was ashamed to have ever associated with.

Her mind started playing over the events she was experiencing and how everything was coincidentally occurring in one day. If the so-called visitor was someone from earlier in her life, something was happening, something big that she was not yet aware of. Something she would be completely filled in on if she had remained with them.

Without saying another word to the overexcited girl, Hermione headed towards the front of the store. There were bigger things to worry about than Celia's feelings and the keeping of the books. Things that were unfolding in front of her that she had never expected to be a part of again... or, she had hoped not to be.

One of these things was currently running a pale hand down the spine of a cheesy romance novel, his back turned to her.

He somehow sensed her presence behind him and turned around, a calm smile on his face.

She knew this day would come. Had told herself numerous times that it wouldn't, but had still known it would. After all, she had merely left - she certainly wasn't hiding. They still kept in touch... a few letters here and there. Although now, as the years had passed, their letters to her only contained names of those that had passed away in battle. Names that were not hers... almost telling her that they were dying in her place, because she had been too selfish to stay.

And now, those that remained fighting, those once closer to her than anyone else - had no other choice than to search her out.

A small smile graced her lips as she sensed his controlled anger towards her. Ah, yes... they were angry. I wasn't, and that's part of the reason they didn't understand. They still don't. Perhaps it would make them happy to hear that my leaving did nothing to improve my life ... I still know what I did, and I'm still capable of repeating it. I saw what I did, and I still see it every time I close my eyes.

Smile still faint but visible, she nodded. "Draco."

*

A/N:

This is a Sirius/Hermione story - so please don't worry about Darren, and don't get any ideas about our lovely Draco and her, especially in the next chapter. Alright?