Sweetest Goodbye

Sweetest Goodbye

By Kay Kay

Where you are seems to be/As far as an eternity/Outstretched arms open heart/And if it never ends then when do we start?/ Dream away everyday/Try so hard to disregard/The rhythm of the rain that drops/And coincides with the beating of my heart/I'll never leave you behind/Or treat you unkind/I know you understand/And with a tear in my eye/Give me the sweetest goodbye/ That I ever did receive/Pushing forward and arching back/Bring me closer to heart attack/Say goodbye and just fly away/When you come back/I have some things to say/How does it feel to know you never have to be alone/When you get home/There must be someplace here that only you and I could go/So I can show you how I feel-"Sweetest Goodbye" Maroon 5

~

There have been whispers of it, all around the castle. Voldemort is getting ever closer to Hogwarts, and before long, it will be Harry's time.

I know about the prophecy, and I also know that Harry is a boy of obligation. He knows that he is needed by the whole wizarding world, as he is the only one who can stop Voldemort, once and for all. The world is on Harry's shoulders, and the worried murmurs of the ghosts through the halls said it would soon be time for a battle like no other.

I've been in love with Harry as long as I can remember. When I was young he was a hero, almost a mythical super-being. When I met him in my first year, he turned out to be that and so much more. A bashful, understanding boy, who just wanted to be normal before anything else. And then he saved my life. Nobody had ever cared so much as Harry while he knelt over me, dying, and still comforting me for my mistakes. Finally in my fourth year I discovered him as so much more than even that. Harry became so much more real all the sudden, a boy with so many failings, with so much weight on his shoulders, yet still just trying to do what people wanted him to do. Instead of driving me away Harry's imperfections only served to make me love him more.

~

Ginny told me that she loved me. Last year she told me. Last year and every time she's had an opportunity since then. And I've refused her every time, watched her face fall, and the way she accepts it, just for me.

The thing is, I do like Ginny as more than a friend. I love her even. Sometime in fifth year, unbeknownst to me, Ginny became one of the most important weapons I had in my arsenal. A friend who understood, someone to help me be sensible. Ginny has been a sort of guide to my every decision, the one person I trust wholly with my life, and my heart.

The thing is, as Ginny's told me many times, I have bigger responsibilities on my shoulders than any 17-year-old should. Everyone around me is put in danger by my presence. The people I love are used against me, and I could never let Ginny be used against me. Ginny has known darkness in her life, and I'd never let it happen to her again. I can't love her, for her own safety.

I've heard the rumours around the castle, and know the truth of the battle movements. Voldemort is moving ever closer, hoping to bring a black cloak around all of the wizarding world and defeat me, his last real opponent. I know I should be thinking about battle strategies, but we've gone over it so thoroughly, and all I can really think of, is that I might never get to tell Ginny I love her too.

~

"Harry," I whisper quietly, "Harry, can we talk?" Voldemort is drawing ever closer and the final stand will be in a matter of days. I can't let Harry go without telling him one more time.

"How 'bout the Room of Requirement." I guess he's grown tired of my proclamations of love, and I don't wonder why. Luckily Harry is too nice to tell me that, so we walk together to the room.

~

'I can't,' I think, 'Í can't not tell her I love her too.'

The Room of Requirement formats itself like the Gryffindor Common Room, a comforting sight for both of us, and we sit down in squashy arm chairs across from each other.

~

"Harry, I-" I stammer and blush pink. "Look, I know I've told you before, but I don't know how I can make you understand. I just love you, Harry." He looks like he is about to speak so I wave a silencing hand and continue to talk.

"I want you to know, Harry, that whatever happens in your life, however long it take, or what happens, I'll always love you. You'll never be alone in the world Harry, and when you have nothing else, just remember that I love you."

Harry looks embarrassed and speaks slowly and tremulously. "Ginny, I...I've been trying to keep you safe. Voldemort is out for those I love. If you were ever hurt because he found out you were one of those people, I couldn't go on living."

I gasp, and Harry goes on. "I...I love you too, Ginny. Have done for about a year now. I didn't want to tell you, really. I can't jeopardize you like that. Maybe...maybe, after-" Harry cuts off, looking crestfallen, like it is too optimistic to hope for the end of the war, and the start of anything wonderful anytime soon.

"But Harry!" I let out hysterically. "Harry, what if this war - you can't just stop your love for someone Harry!"

"I'm sorry," Harry whispers, seeing how upset I'm getting. "I have to go. I love you, Ginny."

~

I'm not expecting Harry, when he comes in my bedroom that night right after summer begins. Voldemort's troops have been forced back since Harry and I last (really) talked in March. Still, Harry is on the edge of his final obligation as a hero.

In fact, that is why he's here tonight.

"Ginny," Harry chokes out, "I'll be leaving in the morning. I thought - I thought that I could leave without saying goodbye, but I can't."

He climbs onto my bed next to me and pulls me towards him to kiss him fully on the lips. I feel his warm, chapped lips on mine, and the breath he's pouring into my body, and when our tongues connect, it feels like the most natural thing in the world. I lie back and Harry kisses me, and touches me in ways I've never felt before. His love is in his roving fingers, which caress my breasts, and his tongue that weaves a hot trail on my throat.

As Harry makes love to me on my bed, amongst my stuffed animals and childhood fears, just below my brother's room, I am crying. Not because it hurts, as I always heard it would, but because it is so perfect I almost feel sick. Afterwards he sleeps next to me, his arm twined around my stomach and his heart thumping against my ear, like the ticking of a clock, spelling out the end.

When I wake up in the morning he is gone, before I can even tell him how much I love him.

Fin.