Complicated Wishes, Confusing Jealousy

- Chapter Four -

Confessions

Ron stared at the doorway in which Hermione had disappeared through with his mouth still agape and an expression mixed with shock and disbelief on his face. He very slowly sat back down on his seat and pushed his plate of food away, too confused to eat. He felt eyes on him and looked around to find Harry, Ginny and several other knowing Gryffindors gazing at him with amused expressions and smiles on their faces.

"What?" Ron barked, annoyance adding to the list of emotions he was feeling at that very moment.

Harry lifted his eyebrows. "Nothing," he said simply with a small shrug, a smile still on his face. He looked away and caught Ginny's eye and they grinned in a knowing way, trying not to break out in a fit of laughter. Ron, who had shifted his gaze back to the empty doorway, was completely oblivious of this exchange between his best friend and sister.

Everything Hermione had said was slowly and ominously repeating itself in his head, but it seemed that his numbing brain could only register one thing: It could've been him.

- ~ * ~ -

Hermione sat on her bed, her head in her hands as she remembered her words to Ron.

She had never, not once, come that close to confessing her true feelings and yet at the same time, come so close to slapping him. She couldn't understand why she became so touchy every time Ron mentioned Viktor's name in such a jealous way. Maybe it was because she wanted Ron to realise that she didn't like Viktor any more than him; her feelings for Viktor were nowhere near as strong as the ones she held for him...

She let out a small sob and shook her head to herself just as there was a knock on her dormitory door.

"Hermione?" Ginny's voice called. "Hermione, are you in there?"

"Yes. Come in, Ginny!" Hermione called back, straightening up and running a hand through her messy hair as the door slowly opened and Ginny's small, red-headed figure entered the room, heading straight to where Hermione sat on her bed.

Hermione only had to look at the meaningful glint in the younger girl's eyes to know what she was going to say.

"Ignore my brother's insolence, Hermione," Ginny said, taking a seat at the edge of the bed. "He'll wake up eventually and when he does, everything will hit him the face and he'll work to sort it out ... Hopefully."

"It's not just his insolence, Ginny," Hermione said bitterly. "It's everything; I'm tired of him bringing up the subject of Viktor and making out that I have some full-on love affair with him. All I want for him to do is wake up and just tell me why he acts the way he does. It's not even like he does it once every now and then, either; it's all the time! I'm completely and utterly over it!"

"I keep telling you, Hermione. He likes you," Ginny said. "It's obvious. You know it is."

Hermione looked down at her hands. She still hadn't told Ginny anything about her feelings for Ron. There had been a few times in which she had come close to letting her secrets out but she had always stopped herself before she even began giving away anything. At this moment, however, she felt as though she had to tell someone, someone close and that she could trust ... and a female.

"G-Ginny," Hermione said slowly and rather uneasily, "I - There's something I need to tell you." Ginny looked at her curiously but had a small idea as to what Hermione was going to say. "I'm just not sure as to how I can say it; I haven't told anyone. I mean, I've wanted to tell you for a while, but ... I've had my reasons not to. It's really starting to drive me mad, though."

Ginny studied Hermione's troubled face and gave her a smile. "Hermione," she said carefully. "You don't have to worry. Whatever it is that you want to tell me, whatever it is that's driving you mad, I'll keep to myself if you wish me to. I won't make any comments about it. In fact, I won't say anything about it unless I think it's needed."

Hermione gave a weak smile. "I've been thinking a lot lately," she started rather nervously. "I've been thinking about Ron and some of the things he says and some of the things he does." She paused and looked at Ginny steadily, feeling a bit more confident. "I think I like Ron. I know I like Ron. Quite a lot to be honest. I have since about fourth year but I've kept it a secret until now and I just - I don't know what to do about it. I try to ignore it, I try to ignore everything that makes me attracted to him, but no matter how much I try, I just seem to fall for him even more. It's confusing and complicated and ... it's driving me mad!"

"Hermione, all you have to do is wait for Ron," Ginny said with an assuring nod. "It might take a while knowing my brother, but he'll eventually get all his thoughts and feelings together and he'll realise what everyone else already has: He likes you and he likes you a lot! Just wait."

There was a small space of silence as Hermione took this in, but her thoughts were also on something else. Her sixteenth birthday was two weeks away and as this thought crossed her mind, her stomach did an odd plummet.

"Ginny, w-what's it like to be kissed?" she asked quietly.

Ginny looked at her in surprise. "Um - well - it's really quite hard to explain. When it happens for the first time and it's with someone you really like, it's the best feeling possible at that time in a relationship. It can be awkward, but you feel so warm and wholesome inside and you just want the feeling to linger forever, no matter how nervous you are. That's how it was when Michael first kissed me." She paused a moment and looked at Hermione curiously. "Why do you ask anyway, Hermione?"

Hermione hesitated. "I've never been kissed and I kind of wanted to be before my birthday," she admitted shyly. "I always dreamed it would be with Ron. And if not Ron, then Harry."

Ginny's smile faltered slightly when Harry's name exited Hermione's mouth. "Harry?"

Hermione looked at Ginny and shrugged. "I may not really be ... attracted to him, Ginny, but he is my best friend as well."

Ginny smiled again, calming down. "I'm sure it'll happen eventually, Hermione. You'll soon be kissed and it'll be enjoyable for you."

- ~ * ~ -

Four full days had passed since Ron and Hermione's argument in the Great Hall and the two of them still weren't acting their friendly selves towards each other. This greatly annoyed Harry, who had taken up trying to sort it all out and make them talk ever since.

"Ron, just apologise and put it behind you," he said over dinner after Hermione had given Ron a cold look and moved further down the table to sit with Neville. "You know you've hurt her and it's up to you to put it right. I know you dislike not being on speaking terms with her."

"Is there even a point?" Ron asked. "We'll just end up arguing again in a couple of days anyway."

"Yeah well maybe if you didn't upset her as much you wouldn't argue," Harry muttered.

Ron glared at him. "What's that supposed to mean?" he demanded.

"Well..." Harry said cautiously, "You do seem to have the tendency to say the wrong thing. I mean, you know she's a bit touchy about the Viktor Krum issue and you do bring it up quite a lot. I really think you should learn to believe that the two of them were never anything more than friends, even if he did ... you know..."

"Even if he did what?" Ron asked quickly. "What do you know that I don't? Harry, he didn't kiss her or anything did he?"

Harry stared at Ron, amusement dancing in his emerald eyes. "No, Ron, Krum didn't kiss Hermione - or at least I don't think he did... I don't know..." Harry shook his head. "Look, Ron, you know Krum said that 'he'd never felt the same way about any other girl' when it came to Hermione. What I'm saying is that even if he did like her, that doesn't automatically mean she likes him or ever did for that matter. You should believe what she's telling you and not continue with your same old accusations and assumptions. I know that I believe her. Her and Krum were never any more than friends."

Ron considered this and sighed. "So what are you saying?" he said slowly. "You think I should just apologise and forget anything ever happened?"

"And think before you speak," Harry said. He paused and looked at his best friend carefully as the red-head watched Hermione out of the corner of his eye. "It wouldn't hurt for you to work out your jealousy, either," he added quietly, eyeing Ron rather amusedly.

Ron looked straight at Harry abruptly. "What?"

Harry smirked. "Talk to you later, Ron," he said happily, getting up and catching up with Ginny who was about to exit the Hall.

"Hermione admitted to me the other day that she likes Ron," Ginny whispered to Harry when they reached the deserted Gryffindor common room. "Any luck with Ron, though?"

"No," Harry sighed. "I'm going to try and get some answers out of him tonight."

The two of them, over the last few days, since the argument in the Great Hall, had secretly been trying to work out the whole Ron and Hermione situation, having finally become tired of deciding not to interfere. They were both extremely sick of the constant bickering between the two, the obvious jealousy (mainly on Ron's part), and the fact that they were each quite oblivious of the other's distinct feelings.

"I really hope none of this planning backfires on us," Ginny said anxiously, "but it has to be worked out. Fred and George were only telling me on the last day of summer that if they were coming back to Hogwarts this year they'd sort it themselves. Remember the argument they had about gnomes? Merlin, after that it's not surprising even Mum wants them to hurry up and get together!"

Harry laughed. "I don't see how it's possible that everyone but them find it deadly obvious!"

"Well, I think Hermione has a fair idea as to how much Ron likes her, but Ron..." Ginny trailed off. "My brother's just a dumb, oblivious git! I mean, he's probably even oblivious to his own feelings!"

Harry laughed again and, after a moment, Ginny joined in. Watching her out of the corner of his eye, Harry slowly stopped laughing, keeping a smile on his face and studied her for a moment out of the corner of his eye as her laughing slowly ceased, leaving a small smile curving her lips.

"Are you still going out with Dean?" Harry asked, curious. Ginny frowned at him. "I haven't seen you with him much lately, that's all."

Ginny smiled. "We are still together, yes, but I've been really busy training for Chaser," she said.

"Oh," Harry said and for some very strange reason, he felt his stomach fall a couple of centimetres. "The try-outs are when? Friday?"

"Yeah, I checked with McGonagall this afternoon in Transfiguration," Ginny replied. "I also asked about the new captain and she said she's still trying to decide. I probably shouldn't tell you this, but she's apparently choosing between you and Katie. You two have been playing on the team longest, so..."

Harry suddenly imagined himself standing in front of the Gryffindor team, giving instructions. A smile spread across his face and he inwardly hoped it would be him McGonagall chose for captain.

The sound of the portrait swinging open cut into Harry's thoughts and he and Ginny looked around to find Dean and Seamus entering the room, deep in discussion.

"...he really freaks me out," Seamus voiced. "He sits there in that creepy, near dark room, staring at you and taking in your every move."

He took a seat beside Harry as Dean gave Ginny a quick kiss on the cheek.

"Who freaks you out, Seamus?" Ginny asked, frowning.

"Professor Krum," Dean said. "He overheard Seamus and I talking about a little Halloween prank we're planning and gave us detention for tomorrow 'for our unvanted immaturity'. We have to write a seven-hundred-word essay on why planning pranks is inappropriate."

"I thought he was rather alright," Harry admitted. "Bit strange, yeah, but alright. I mean, I always thought Viktor was kind of strange and Professor Krum just displays where he got it from."

"I happen to think Professor Krum's very odd," Ginny said darkly. "He has this strange and eerie vibe. The darkness of his room, the way he speaks about the Darkness of the past, the creepy shadowing of his face... He's more than strange and, from the look of his office, he's obsessed with You-Know-Who's process. I was in there the other day collecting a letter for Professor McGonagall. His walls are plastered with articles and photos of the past, most of which outline You-Know-Who and his supporters, back when they were at full power. I also noticed several newer ones, such as Harry's Quibber interview last year and all the recent Daily Prophet news and warnings. It seems extremely strange."

Harry, who oddly felt quite unconcerned by this piece of news, shrugged. "Maybe he's an ex Bulgarian Auror," he suggested. "He sort of seems the type. Perhaps that's his reason for following Voldemort's process."

Ginny shrugged and stared into the empty fireplace, where a large black spider was lurking. She honestly didn't know what to think or believe.

Several hours later, after doing his night's homework, Harry headed upstairs to the sixth-year boys' dormitory with Ron, his thoughts on what Ginny had told him earlier.

He honestly believed it was impossible that Professor Krum was in fact a supporter of Voldemort. The fact he had decorated his office with memorabilia didn't say anything about his characteristic. Perhaps he, like hundreds of other witches and wizards all around the world, had experienced a death of someone close to him in the past, and he had since been following the murderer's process since. He could be, like he had suggested earlier, an ex-Auror for the Bulgarian republic and had worked to protect his people from the Dark Lord. Whatever his reason for having such a Dark hobby, Harry highly doubted Professor Krum was indeed a supporter of Voldemort.

"What's up?" Ron asked as they pulled their pajamas out and began to undress.

Harry hesitated before repeating Ginny's observation. When he had finished, Ron looked slightly uneasy.

"I don't know, Harry," Ron said slowly. "He could support You-Know-Who. I mean, if he's that obsessed!"

"But Ron, we don't know anything about his past!" Harry said. "I highly doubt Dumbledore would hire someone who's a possible Death Eater."

"Yeah, I guess..." Ron paused for a while, getting into his blue and white-striped pajamas. He frowned and let out a sigh. "Either way, I wouldn't go voicing any suspicions of Krum being a Death Eater to Hermione," he added miserably. "She's likely to bite your head off and spit it down an unflushed toilet."

Harry climbed under his blankets and looked over at Ron. "Still haven't apologised, then?"

Ron shook his head. "No," he groaned. "I sort of tried after you left at dinner, but she just looked at me coldly, stood up and left. I haven't seen her since."

Harry looked at his friend carefully. "Ron, why do you get so jealous at every mention of Krum?" he asked.

Ron head shot around to look at Harry. "I'm not jealous of Krum!" he said incredulously. "Why the hell would I be jealous of a slouchy git like that?"

"Because you like Hermione and you hate the fact that she may like or have liked him," Harry replied casually.

Harry watched as a red tinge crept from Ron's ears and covered the whole of Ron's face, disguising every last freckle.

"I don't like Hermione in any way more than a friend!" he said bitterly, looking away and staring at the empty contents of Neville's bed across the room.

"Ron," Harry said, "it's obvious that you do. Why else would you get so jealous of Krum? Why else would you get so angry every time Malfoy or some other Slytherin called her Mudblood or some other offens-?"

"Because it's a foul name and she's my friend!" Ron cut in across the rest of Harry's sentence.

"You're not even that protective of your own sister, Ron!" Harry said pointedly. "I see you, every day, watching Hermione carefully out of the corner of your eye but I don't say anything about it. I see the way you struggle to contain yourself every time she merely touches you on the hand. I watch and understand it all, Ron, but I've chosen not to say anything until now. Admit it to me, Ron. Do you like Hermione in a more than friendly way?"

"YES!" Ron shouted resentfully before irritably letting his head fall into his hands, his fingers pulling on his hair slightly. After a moment, he looked back at Harry, his face burning flame red. "I don't know. Harry, I'm really not sure. I think I might - I guess I do ... I dunno..." He stopped and looked at Harry carefully, his entire face dark crimson in colour. "I do..."

Harry smiled triumphantly and began to pull the hangings of his bed closed. "Alright then," he said, satisfied. "Goodnight." And with that he pulled the last curtain closed and lay back in bed, leaving Ron staring at the scarlet hangings in confused shock, so many questions forming in his head, one answer of which appeared as a fact to him: He liked Hermione...

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