Remus Re-erected

Chapter 3. Remus Reinstated: The Ability to Prioritise.

"For the ordinary man is passive. Within a narrow circle...he feels himself master of his fate, but against major events he is as helpless as against the elements. So far from endeavouring to influence the future, he simply lies down and lets things happen to him."

George Orwell

***

Back when he and Sirius were lovers, Remus had considered to himself, on several occasions, the notion of Sirius publicly settling down. But it was always with someone better: someone who was not a werewolf. Then, Sirius would have had the opportunity to be as open as he chose to be about all aspects of his life, without having to deal with any repercussions.

Remus had worried about the Ministry keeping tabs on his activities if they ever found out he was involved with someone. Because he was only classed as a creature, the Ministry thought that Remus's love life was their business. They proclaimed that, if he were to be involved with someone--and Remus had no intentions of letting them think he was anything but single--the person concerned was at risk and the Ministry would be able to "offer a certain amount of protection and support". Remus knew that this was just a façade though, just an excuse to make sure he wasn't going to be procreating any time soon.

The risk of the Ministry getting involved in their business would no doubt hamper the efforts of the Order. And what if Sirius was revealed to be an Animagus because of his relationship with Remus, because of Remus's condition? He hated the thought that he had the potential to be a catalyst for negative change in Sirius's life.

"I don't have to tell the world," Sirius had insisted, trying to placate Remus's sense of guilt. "I'd like to, but I don't have to."

For a while, Remus would warm inside, thanking whatever gods had seen fit to grant him with this opportunity. But could he really hold Sirius back for a whole lifetime? Whatever way Remus looked at it, he was a restriction, especially when Sirius was offered a position at the Ministry.

"We should end this," Remus had suggested weakly, even though he didn't mean a word of it; he wanted to keep hold of their relationship more than anything. He only said it because he truly believed it would be better for Sirius if they weren't together. "You can't risk your job because of me."

"Don't be so bloody melodramatic!"

"I'm not. Okay, maybe a little. But even though they won't be able to fire you, if they find out about me--about us--I can guarantee there'll be more than a few people at the Ministry who'll make your life difficult because I'm a werewolf. They won't trust you; you'll miss out. I don't want that."

"I'd rather have you than have the opportunity for promotion."

"Then we'll just have to make doubly sure that our relationship is kept a secret, so you can have both," Remus conceded. "Just being friends with me is going to cause you to be looked at with suspicion as it is."

Holding himself back was an alien concept to Sirius, but from the beginning, it became an essential part of their relationship, especially whilst they had still been at school.

One of the memories that Remus occasionally re-lived within his dreams concerned the beginnings of their relationship. It was of the morning they had to return to Hogwarts for their seventh year, and they were spending their remaining time alone, in bed, at Sirius's flat. At that point in time, Sirius had wanted to tell the world, and he had yet to fully understand Remus's reluctance to do so.

"Are you ashamed of me?" Sirius had asked as they held each other.

"No. Just scared," Remus admitted. And he was. Petrified. "What if they separate us? Move one of us out of the dorm? What if the Ministry chooses to get involved? It's probably classified as their business when a person decides to date a creature like me. What if they find another excuse to interfere? We're still at school; we're not independent, yet--"

"But we could be independent. NEWT's aren't obligatory."

"But I would like to finish mine, without us having to be separated."

Sirius's face softened. "Just... just let me tell James, at least."

"This is so new, Sirius," Remus explained. He was worried that someone could force them apart before they had the chance to really begin. And he was also trying to comprehend the fact that he was finally getting himself into a relationship; he had spent so long assuming that it would never happen, with anyone. "I want to get my head around it all, first. Let's at least see how it goes. I don't want to tell James and then find out it isn't working."

"You don't think we stand much of a chance, then."

"No, it's not that... I'm just trying to... I don't know. I'm just a little bit apprehensive, about everything. If no one knows and it doesn't work out, then it'll be... less painful, for both of us," Remus stammered, trying to think of a way to remove the frown from Sirius's face. "And I hardly think it'll be fair on James, expecting him to get used to the idea when neither of us have got used to it, yet. Why don't we wait until Christmas and then see how things are?"

"Christmas..." Sirius repeated, curling his lip in disapproval, before stating adamantly, "Halloween."

"All right then, Halloween. In the meantime, let's just make the most of this morning and wait to see how things go."

Sirius smiled to show the decision they had reached was okay with him and leant back on the bed, draping himself around Remus. In response, Remus snuggled up in the tangle of Sirius's limbs, trying to imprint the sensation into his body and mind. He didn't know when they'd have the opportunity to do this again. For the moment, Remus wanted nothing more than to spend every last minute in bed revelling in the smell of sweat hanging in the air, and the bristling sensation of hairy legs rubbing up against each other.

But all too soon, Sirius decided it was time to get moving.

"Sirius," Remus protested as Sirius prised himself from their entangled limbs. Originally, at Remus's objection, Sirius had bent down for one more kiss before insisting on getting up--and Remus's memory of this had never altered, until today. This time, there was no kiss; he felt Sirius's body tense.

"Stay," Remus pleaded, holding on tighter as the image began to fade. Along with the fading image came the resurrection of knowledge that Sirius would never be coming back to his bed.

***

"Sirius," he called out once more, his voice breaking. But there was no one to call out to now, only the figment of a body that had once--all too briefly--been his. A figment that, even now, through the dawning awareness of Remus from his dream, was teasing him, pulling him closer, holding him once more. Remus couldn't hold back from letting out a whimper.

"Shh," the figment soothed.

Remus shifted, and the image refused to dissipate. Instead, arms enfolded Remus more firmly, rocking him gently, hands stroking him. He opened his eyes and squinted at the daylight streaming in through the tall window, hearing the few city birds chattering outside. He held on tightly to the naked body surrounding him, relishing the feeling of limbs being entwined together, inhaling the musky scent of body odour and stale sex, gently pressing his lips against the sweaty skin before him.

Harry...he realised.

He lifted his head to look up at Harry, to assess his reaction to their night together. Harry was smiling at him, with what Remus could only describe as compassion. Remus felt his cheeks redden slightly as he realised his face was damp from a few stray tears.

"I guess I'm not the only one who really misses Sirius," Harry said softly, and Remus wondered how Harry knew what had upset him. "You were calling out his name, just before you woke up," he added at Remus's bewildered expression. "I never knew that you and he were..."

Remus's head dipped once more, to rest his forehead on Harry's chest. "I'm sorry you had to find out this way." He could feel Harry's hand gently stroking the back of his head, calming him as he spoke.

"It's okay. But why didn't he ever mention it? Didn't he trust me?"

"That wasn't the reason; he did trust you. It's just that there wasn't anything for him to tell. We hadn't been together for a long time--not since he escaped from Azkaban, anyway," Remus said, sighing as he rolled over onto his back, an arm stretched up underneath his head. "We didn't want the same thing, anymore.... I still dream about him, from time to time, though. Seeing him again, after so long, and finding out that he had been innocent brought the old feelings back up to the surface."

Harry leaned over to gently run his lips across Remus's face, and Remus instinctively tilted his head up for more.

"Mmm," Remus murmured, looking up through half-lidded eyes and catching Harry's chin in his hand, holding him still for a moment to place a chaste kiss on his lips. He followed this by gently working his way along Harry's jaw line and across to his throat. Harry pushed their bodies closer together and began to kiss the accessible part of Remus's shoulder. Remus felt a pang of tenderness wash through him and promptly told himself that he shouldn't be feeling this way towards a sixteen year old. He buried his nose in the soft skin of Harry's neck, breathing deeply and dragging his lips downward, indulging in skin, sweat, desire, sex. These were... as acceptable as it was going to get.

"We should be getting up," Remus murmured unconvincingly, while engrossed in the taste of Harry's flesh. "Or at least, get some clothes on before Giles turns up with the breakfast."

Remus still made no effort to separate himself from Harry, letting his hands wander and his lips hungrily map out the contours of neck. In the end, it was Harry who pulled back reluctantly, untangling himself from Remus's grasp. Placing a kiss on the bridge of Remus's nose, Harry stood up and padded to the shower, chucking a pair of discarded pyjamas in Remus's face as he did so.

Remus pulled on the pyjamas and made sure the room didn't look as if the pair of them had been up to anything untoward before he nestled back down under the covers. Although he believed Harry's presence had somehow triggered the dream, after waking up from it, Remus had thoroughly enjoyed the comforting feel of another body first thing in the morning. He had no intention of getting up until he absolutely had to, knowing it would break the spell of utter contentment that he was currently feeling; it had been many years since he had last felt like this. Instead, he surrounded himself in the scent of last night, avoiding any thoughts of inappropriate behaviour.

The realities of breakfast and showers were soon upon him, though. In passing to get to the shower, Remus couldn't help but notice that Harry was now taller than Sirius had ever been, and this helped him to further ignore the realities of Harry's age. He washed and then sat eating, wrapped in a dressing gown, not needing to dress until after he'd taken the Polyjuice. Remus had expected the conversation to become stilted, but Harry was as relaxed as ever in his company--even more so than previously--and this helped Remus to continue mentally sidestepping the obvious moral issues.

"I really enjoyed this... last night," Harry admitted in between mouthfuls of toast, during a brief lull in their banter. "It'd be nice to be able to do it again," he added tentatively.

"I enjoyed it, too," Remus said, smiling warmly. But I have nothing to offer him, he acknowledged, his smile fading slightly. This isn't something that we could easily indulge in again. "But another opportunity like this might never arise," he added.

"I know. But if we do get the opportunity, we will take it?"

"I'd like that very much. Nothing short of me becoming your teacher again would make me turn it down."

They agreed to stay in touch while Harry was at Hogwarts, both of them accepting that the letters couldn't be too personal as the risk of others reading them would be too great. The subject of Hedwig's disappearance was then discussed, and Remus offered to help find her, once Harry had been safely escorted to the station. Talk of the station reminded them both of the inevitable encounter with the others.

"They're going to be waiting at the station for us... Hermione, George, and Tonks," Harry pointed out. "They'll want to know what happened at the Dursleys."

"Tonks won't be there. She's doing a job for Kingsley," Remus said. He didn't know if he could handle the inevitable questions about yesterday's kiss. It would take a lot of self-control not to laugh or blush profusely, as neither would be conducive to keeping the entirety of last night's activities a secret. "George--and Fred, no doubt--will both be itching to have a dig at our expense. I can imagine them coming out with some choice comments without realising it."

"I hope I can keep a straight face."

"We could always tell them that Dudley wasn't there," Remus suggested lightly, not wanting to force Harry into lying. "We could tell them that we never went through with it in the first place."

To Remus's relief, Harry agreed that it was a good idea. They grinned at each other before Remus stood and moved to retrieve the Polyjuice vial from his bag.

"Remus," Harry said before Remus lifted the vial to his lips.

Remus turned to suddenly find himself with his arms full of Harry. He let himself wallow in their embrace, moaning around Harry's mouth. A knock on the door caused them to pull apart with a jolt, and Giles came in to collect the breakfast tray, completely unaware of what he had interrupted--unaware of the way Remus's heart was currently pounding against his chest, or the way Remus's stomach had promptly taken a vacation up towards his mouth.

Once Giles had left, Remus pulled Harry's face towards his for one more, brief kiss before drinking the Polyjuice.

"Is there anyone at Hogwarts you're interested in?" Remus asked as he dressed in Tonks's clothes, trying to sound generally interested and not possessive.

"Er," Harry stuttered.

"It might seem a bit of an odd question, after what's happened, but it'd make me feel less guilty if there was someone you could get involved with," Remus said, giving up on the bra and stuffing it back into his bag. "Harry, I don't want to patronise you, but... just promise me you won't put your life on hold, because it might never happen again."

"I know. To be honest, Remus, I'm not interested in serious relationships at the moment, although I have bought Hermione some knickers for her birthday," Harry admitted. "I got them because of a comment I made on the phone--the first time I wound up Dudley. I don't know how she'll take it."

"I think she might be up for a bit of fun, just as long as you don't interfere with her studying! You certainly seemed to be having a positive effect on the phone last week..."

"And what about you? Were you resistant to my charms?"

"Not at all! Luckily, I was sitting down at the table. No one was aware just how strongly I reacted to your... descriptive words."

They shared one last kiss, in Tonks's body, and then gathered their things together before going down to the street, saying goodbye to Giles on their way out. Walking in a contemplative silence, Remus built himself up for when they would be in front of the others.

They arrived at the station to see Hermione waiting while Molly Weasley said goodbye to Ron and Ginny. Fred and George Weasley were also there, with Hedwig perched on Fred's shoulder.

"Hello, Harry. Hello, Remus," Fred and George greeted in unison with a knowing smile.

"Sorry about the owl, Harry--" George began.

"It turns out she that was in our room all along--" Fred continued.

"From when you sent that note to Hermione--"

"She must have flown in to help herself to some of Pig's owl treats and ended up getting stuck in there--"

"We'd commandeered the owl treats from Ron--"

"For an experiment--"

"We didn't have a clue about Hedwig--"

"Honest!" They both chorused, and Remus knew they were both blatantly lying.

"It didn't matter anyway," Remus lied back. "Dudley wasn't there. No display necessary."

George, Fred, and Hermione all looked a bit disappointed by this news, leaving Ron and Mrs. Weasley in confusion.

"I'll tell you on the train," Remus overheard Hermione mutter to Ron under her breath.

They said their goodbyes, with Remus having to consciously keep himself from touching Harry in an overtly familiar way. Remus then began walking back to Grimmauld Place with Molly, Fred, and George.

"So, Dudley really wasn't about?"

"No, George, he wasn't," Remus insisted. He turned to Molly Weasley's baffled expression. "Molly, don't worry about it. Trust me, you don't want to know."

Tonks was at the house when they arrived, and she was not impressed that their little scheme hadn't come to anything; Remus couldn't help but be amused at her frustration that she had nothing to tease him about. He was sorely tempted to mention what Dudley had revealed to him of her night with Harry, but he couldn't think of a believable reason for him to have that information, without it looking as if Harry had told him. When he mentioned the owl-napping, Tonks let it slip that Fred and George had also been responsible for the phone line not working at Grimmauld Place over the past few days. The twins had certainly tried to cover all contingencies.

Remus received his first letter within a couple of days of Harry's return to Hogwarts. The letter was fairly non-descript, but Harry was evidently still keen for them to keep in touch, even though they wouldn't be able to write anything that could reveal what they had shared. Harry had implied that he had been getting on with Hermione really well, and that he had decided on definitely giving her the knickers for her birthday. Remus gave a weak smile as he read this, reminding himself that Harry should be seeing people his own age.

It was better this way: Remus didn't have to worry about holding Harry back. If Harry's involvement with Hermione ended up becoming serious, Remus had to accept it; silly pangs of jealously were irrelevant. For now, Harry wanted to continue writing to him; that was enough. He started on a reply immediately, but it took him three attempts to come up with one that he felt happy with--one that couldn't be viewed as inappropriate if seen by any of Harry's friends, but also, one that wasn't too cold and aloof for Harry.

Over the next few nights, Remus woke up to the same dream that had woken him at the Green Dragon. This didn't bother him too much when they occurred during the night, as he had the memory of his time with Harry to soothe him back to sleep afterwards. It was waking up alone in the mornings that he didn't like. Whenever daylight arrived, he had to get up, not wanting to stay in the empty bed.

The morning after the full moon, Remus groggily made his way to the kitchen, with the intention of getting a cup of tea before going back upstairs to sleep. He felt off, not just because of the after effects from the full moon, but also because of another dream. This time it was of another occasion when Sirius had tried to ease Remus's anxieties over their relationship. Sirius's words were still echoing around his head as he clattered around the kitchen, rummaging through the drawer for a spoon.

"You want more, for me? Remus, don't you see? What we have is good enough. It's more than what a lot of people have; we have each other."

"We have each other." Had each other.... It stopped being 'good enough' after Azkaban. It... Remus was pulled out of his dream inspired musings by a tapping at the window. He smiled; it was Hedwig with another letter from Harry to add to the first.

Dear Remus,

I hope you are well, and things are going okay with, well, you know, all the things that you're involved with. Thanks for your last reply; it's always good to hear from you.

Hermione took her birthday present really well, and we met on her birthday under the willow by the lake. I'll spare you the details...

Ron has managed to remain completely oblivious! Hermione says she feels a bit guilty about keeping it from Ron, and I get the impression that she wants to make our 'relationship' official, soon. I'm not too sure about this. I mean, I do really like Hermione, but I've been thinking of it as just a bit of fun. Do you have any advice on how I can deal with this? I don't want to hurt her feelings, but I don't have any intentions of dating or settling down with anyone, especially with the you-know-what about me and You-Know-Who. At the moment, there doesn't seem much point in investing in anything long-term.

The new Defence teacher that I mentioned briefly in the last letter seems to be flailing already. When we first saw you on the train to Hogwarts, Ron had said that you looked as if one good hex would finish you off, but you proved us wrong. Professor Mawkish isn't doing so great. Apparently she's still trying to recuperate from a Death Eater attack over the summer. The lesson planning, essay marking, and having to cope with us students all seem to be too much for her. Seamus has already started taking bets on when she'll finally collapse under the strain and have to leave!

Professor Dumbledore has said that I am to spend Christmas at Privet Drive, as he'll be away on business and he can't guarantee my safety here. As you can imagine, I'm not too happy about this. Do you know who'll be collecting me?

Anyway, I know you won't want to hear that you've been responsible for me not doing my work, so I'd better end this here and finish my Potions essay.

Looking forward to your next letter,

Harry

The thought of being able to spend another night with Harry at Christmas prompted Remus to bring the subject up with Kingsley, when he had the opportunity to speak with him three days later. He had broached it innocently enough, pointing out that Harry had asked who it would be, and to Remus's relief, Kingsley automatically suggested that he should be the one to collect Harry again. The subject soon moved on with Kingsley filling Remus in on a few odds and ends of gossip, including a new product line of Fred and George's that Remus felt he had to mention in his next letter to Harry. As soon as Kingsley left, Remus was hunting for parchment and a quill.

Dear Harry,

I'm sorry that I haven't replied sooner, but I've been waiting to speak with Kingsley about collecting you at the end of term.

I realise that you're not looking forward to spending Christmas with the Dursleys, but I'll be collecting you from the station. We'll be staying at the same place. Hopefully, I'll be escorting you at the end of the holidays as well, since the full moon isn't until the end of your first week back in January.

It's a pity that you and Hermione don't seem to want the same things; perhaps you've misjudged the situation, and you two can carry on seeing each other. As far as advice is concerned, I'm not sure I'm qualified to give you any... But, if I were you, I'd tell her soon. Be gentle with her, and make sure she understands exactly why you don't want a relationship. You wouldn't want her to think that you were just using her because she happened to be convenient. Have I just stated the obvious?

At least your new teacher isn't in the same league as Professor Umbridge! I'd join in with the betting, but I doubt Albus would approve! It would be a shame if she can't cope with the position; I don't know who else Albus could turn to. The only person I can think of is Professor Snape. It would be easier to get someone to take over the Potions position than to teach Defence lessons.

In speaking with Kingsley, I discovered something I feel I should warn you about. Fred and George's latest venture in Magical Truth or Dare kits. Of course, they can't include anything like Veritaserum for legal reasons, but they've been doing some research and have found a loophole. They've now concocted something that won't force you to tell the truth, but it will prevent you from lying. They intend to put their first batch up for sale at Zonko's on the next Hogsmeade weekend. There are bound to be a few boxes that end up at Hogwarts by the end of the day, so you should probably think of a valid excuse not to play.

I'm looking forward to seeing you at Christmas, and to hearing from you before then.

Please tell me if you change your mind about anything.

Remus

After sending the letter, Remus concentrated on his work for the Order, not letting himself spend time on anticipating Harry's next reply. He was an adult; he shouldn't be daydreaming about a sixteen year old. He should be getting on with his life and taking care of his responsibilities. But he couldn't restrain the warm feeling when, just a few days later, Hedwig arrived once more.

Dear Remus,

Thanks for the advice about Hermione. Unfortunately, it came a bit too late. Hermione has terminated our little affair, and she refused to speak to me for two days because, as you said, she thought I had just used her. I've since had the opportunity to explain myself, and we're friends again. Although I must admit, the atmosphere is a bit strained. On the plus side, she's considering the possibilities of dating Ron, and hopefully, it will take her mind off me. I've been trying to steer Ron's attention in her direction, not that that's taken much effort. He's blatantly had a thing for her since she dated Viktor Krum in the fourth year.

Professor Mawkish is still struggling through. I've put two Sickles on her leaving the week after Halloween, when the seventh years take their mock exams for the NEWTs.

We're going to Hogsmeade on Saturday, and Ron's confirmed that Fred and George will be setting up at Zonko's for the day. I've convinced Ron not to get involved, since he doesn't want to admit his feelings for Hermione in public. Hermione didn't need convincing. After all, we should be studying, not playing Truth or Dare! She practically ordered me to steer clear as well, as she doesn't want everyone to know about what happened between me and her, which is more than fine by me.

And, Remus, I haven't changed my mind. I'm actually looking forward to Christmas now, even if it does mean spending more time with the Dursleys.

It's good to be able to stay in touch with you,

Harry

Remus never got a chance to write back before the next letter turned up. It was late Saturday afternoon when Hedwig arrived, looking flustered, as if she had raced to get there. Across the letter, Remus could see somebody else's heavy scrawl added to Harry's.

Remus,

I thought I should warn you what's happened, hopefully before Tonks gets to you. Fred and George have found out that Dudley was at the Dursleys when you came to pick me up at the start of term.

Apparently, George telephoned Smeltings and managed to talk to Dudley, pretending to be Tonks's over-protective, older brother. As you can imagine, Dudley was more than happy to tell George everything (even what happened with Tonks!) when he thought I was going to get beaten up for it. So now they know all that Dudley has seen fit to tell them.

Anyway, they have a transcript of George's conversation with Dudley, and Dudley makes the kiss sound really bad. Can we say UNDERSTATEMENT? That was Ron, by the way. He says hi. Hello, Remus, I'm ashamed of you, deeply ashame--

Fred and George are going to give a copy of the transcript to Tonks, so that she can give you grief, and not only for lying...

They also spiked Harry's butterbeer with a Truth or Dare pill. George asked if Harry had enjoyed the kiss, which I think was a complete waste of time--the transcript speaks for itself, as you will find out. Tonks is going to eat you for breakfast! Especially when she hears that Harry liked kissing you better than her (Fred asked that one!) We're willing to keep quiet, for the sake of Harry's sensibilities, but personally, I'm disgusted. And to think, you used to be our teacher! I'll never be able to look at you in the same way agai--

Sorry about Ron, he ran off with the letter. I'd re-write it, but he'd only do it again.

Only Fred, George, Hermione, and Ron know about the transcript, and they've promised not to mention it to anyone else. Hopefully, they'll soon get bored of picking on me.

Good luck dealing with Tonks!

Harry

The memory of Harry saying, "I'd never live that sort of an admission down at school" passed through Remus's mind. Well, at least the people who'd know and be able to hassle Harry were limited. Remus swallowed nervously. Why do I get the impression that I need to read the transcript before I get accosted by Tonks?

The answer to his question came when Tonks arrived early on Sunday morning.

"Remus Lupin, you dirty old man," she said in mock horror as she entered the kitchen.

"Do I get to see this infamous transcript then?" he asked as nonchalantly as he could, remaining seated and only gracing her with the barest of glances over the top of his book.

"I see Harry's managed to warn you," she moaned as she sat opposite him. "I tell you what, Remus, how about we cut to the chase, and I just read you the best bit?"

He looked up again, feigning indifference, as she gave him an evil grin before digging through her robes. A moment later, she had pulled out a ream of parchment and her eyes began scanning the document.

"Here we are!" She cleared her throat and continued in a gruff Dudley impersonation. "Well, as soon as they could they had their arms around each other, and then they were snogging with tongues and everything. He had his hands all over her, and she..." Tonks paused briefly as her eyes jumped slightly down the page. "She had her hands all over him as well, and they were pressed right up against each other. I've never seen anyone kiss like that. Even on that first day I saw them, it wasn't this bad. This time, they were really going for it, like they could've just started shagging there and then on the stairs. They were even moaning in each other's mouths. And Harry had got a boner from it; she was rubbing her leg up against it... well, I guess he was rubbing himself on her leg just as much as she was rubbing him. When they finally stopped, they were both breathing really hard, like they'd been running or something, and they looked really flushed."

As Tonks read, Remus felt the colour rise in his cheeks and his stomach sink to his feet; he had to admit that it did sound quite bad. His thoughts immediately turned to recovery tactics.

"So," he began in a croak. He cleared his voice and continued, "Have you considered that maybe Dudley was exaggerating, just to get at Harry?"

"Oh, yes," Tonks replied far more confidently than Remus liked. "I did consider that. But that would only make sense if he had exaggerated about... other things, which he didn't."

"Like when you had sex with Harry?" Remus replied bluntly, staring her directly in the eye, trying to throw her off-balance.

Tonks blanched.

"Did Harry--"

"No, you can thank Dudley for letting that one slip," he returned the evil grin that she had thrown his way earlier. She narrowed her eyes at him. "And speaking of that night," Remus said, continuing with the diversionary tactic, "How can you stand there and question what I did? You've done far worse!"

"Not knowingly in front of an audience! And can I mention the age difference and point out that I've never been his teacher?"

"And can I point out that it was you and Hermione who originally conspired to get me into that situation? Those were my objections to your little scheme in the first place!" Remus was stunned that she now had the gall to throw this back in his face. "Before I left, didn't you tell me to 'make the most of it' because 'it would do me good'?"

"Well, there's making the most of it, and then there's... well, doing what you did! Anyway, you lied about it, Remus. What do you expect? Of course it's going to make what you did look even worse! If you hadn't lied about it, then George and Fred wouldn't have had the idea of phoning Dudley, and no one would have heard Dudley's exquisite description. Secrets have a tendency to come back and bite you in the bum, Remus. At least there's no chance of you being asked back to teach at Hogwarts, now that would be awkward!"

It seemed that Tonks had tempted fate, as the following morning, Remus received a letter from Albus Dumbledore.

Dear Remus,

I hope this letter finds you well, and I apologise for not being able to visit you since term has started, but as you may appreciate, my role as Headmaster does seem to consume a rather large amount of my time.

My reason for sending you a letter, as opposed to using the Floo Network, is in order to make an official request.

Due to an incident that occurred over the summer, our current Defence Against the Dark Arts teacher is having difficulties managing the amount of work that the role entails. As I do not believe I will be able to find a full-time replacement, I was hoping you would consider the possibility of sharing the position.

I would require your assistance for two weeks out of every four. The two weeks that you would not be working, and therefore, not residing at Hogwarts, would be those surrounding the full moon. I have spoken with the school governors, and they have agreed to this arrangement. Those students whose parents do not wish them to be taught by someone with your condition will be given the option of not attending any lessons given by you. I know that you will understand the reasons for this. Should you accept this position, you will need to work closely with Professor Mawkish, so that being taught by two different teachers will not lead to confusion amongst the students.

I appreciate that, with your recent inheritance, you are no longer in need of a paid position, but I am at a loss for suitable alternatives.

Please consider my request. I will need a response within the next seven days, as I would like to make arrangements for the seventh year mock exams.

Kindest regards,

Albus Dumbledore

Remus sat silently at the table for several moments, taking it in. There seemed to be only one way for this to go; he was going to be Harry's teacher, once more. What happened between them could not be repeated. It was going to be awkward enough teaching Harry, as it was, especially with Ron and Hermione knowing about the kiss. To even consider continuing to have a... an affair just wasn't an option.

He felt that turning down Albus wasn't an option, either. It would be the right thing to do, but that would involve an explanation and letting people down, letting Albus down. He couldn't do that, not after all Albus had done in the past to help him. And if he were to refuse the offer, what reason did he think he could give? "I'm sorry, I've slept with a student and was intending to do so again!" He could imagine the backlash that would cause for Harry. If Harry was having trouble living down the admission of thinking he was a better kisser than Tonks, then Remus didn't need much imagination to know just how much worse things could be for Harry.

He wanted Harry's already difficult life to be made as easy as it could be. If people found out what they had done, then they definitely wouldn't hold Harry in very high esteem. For Remus knew Harry wouldn't be one to take the gossip lying down; if there was even one person implying that Remus had coerced Harry into it, he had the impression that Harry would shout from the rooftops that he had been a willing participant.

There was no option; he was going to be Harry's teacher. And now, he could want all he liked, but he couldn't have. He was going back to Hogwarts, and there was one thing that had to be done before anything else: I'd better write to Harry and let him know the bad news.