On My Own

And now I'm all alone again

Nowhere to turn, no one to go to

Without a home, without a friend,

Without a face to say hello to.

And now the night is near

Now I can make believe he's here.

Ginny wandered the corridors of Hogwarts with Harry heavy on her mind. Although she had dated Michael Corner this past year for a brief amount of time, Harry had always been in her thoughts, whether it be the back of her mind or a fresh notice of something he did. Now he occupied her thoughts constantly--he was always on her mind. She could see how truly hurt and distraught he was. She was able to read his emerald eyes and feel the emotion that rushed through him. Losing Sirius was one of the worst things he had ever had to deal with and it wasn't easy for him. If only she could do something to help him. She still felt as if Harry thought of her as just "Ron's little sister" and that was not exactly what Harry needed or wanted as a confidant.

Sometimes I walk alone at night

When everybody else is sleeping

I think of him and then I'm happy

With the company I'm keeping

The city goes to bed

And I can live inside my head.

"If only I could somehow console him," she whispered to herself thoughtfully. The entire situation was taking an enormous toll on Harry and his actions. He was always drifting away and sitting by himself, staring off into space with a lingering gaze of sadness. Hermione and Ron had definitely noticed the change. Ginny had noticed even before they had. She was always looking at him--trying to really figure him out. She wished she could be there to tell him "It'll be ok, I will always be here for you." To put her arm around him and let him know that no matter what, he would always have her to confide in--to be with. She constantly thought of him, wishing that he were strolling the school with her at this very moment. Hand in hand and heart bonded to heart. Instead she sat alone in the darkness, pining after him and wanting to make him feel better about everything--about the world.

On my own

Pretending he's beside me

All alone, I walk with him till morning

Without him

I feel his arms around me

And when I lose my way I close my eyes

And he has found me

A single tear trickled town her soft cheek. She brushed it away, but something inside her broke and she began to sob uncontrollably. All of these nights of wandering. All of these endless nights of wishing. Wishing that she could be there for the one she loved. Wishing she could muster up enough courage to just let him know she was even there. She sighed with defeat and slid down the cold, stone wall with her face in hands.

In the rain the pavement shines like silver

All the lights are misty in the river

In the darkness, the trees are full of starlight

And all I see is him and me forever and forever

" He can never know how strongly I feel," she thought aloud. Although she felt this way she knew that there would never be anyone else for her. All the times she had tried to push him aside, forget about him, not love him anymore. It had never actually worked. There was a point in time, during their fifth year, that she felt maybe all her love for him was mostly gone, that she would finally be able to say 'Harry? No--no I am over him,' but helping him and seeing him in such pain had brought all of her old feelings flooding back with more fervor than ever.

And I know it's only in my mind

That I'm talking to myself and not to him

And although I know that he is blind

Still I say, there's a way for us

Ginny continued to bawl, leaving trails upon her pale yet flushed face. Her fiery hair hung over her teary eyes as she let out another whimper, trying to compose herself enough to stop day-dreaming about him and get back to her comforting, four poster bed.

I love him

But when the night is over

He is gone, the river's just a river

Without him the world around me changes

The trees are bare and everywhere

The streets are full of strangers

After pushing herself up, she stumbled down the hall back to her dormitory. Tears continued to roll down her face and she was left with the distinct taste of salt in her mouth. No matter what happened, she would always love Harry. It was inevitable. "I'll just have to keep it to myself," she resolved "I suppose he doesn't have to know. Besides, he is too caught up on Cho to ever notice that I am more than just Ron's little sister," although it wasn't much of a resolution and did not make her feel any better about the situation.

I love him

But every day I'm learning

All my life I've only been pretending

Without me his world will go on turning

A world that's full of happiness

That I have never known!

Sure, Ginny had loving parents, mostly caring brothers, and plenty of friends, but who had she ever had to love her with something more than just a father or brother's love? No one. She reached Gryffindor tower, said the password and walked into the common room. Her eyes wandered and much to her dismay, there was Harry, sitting by himself in front of the fire. The longing to put her arms around him and comfort him was stronger than ever as she watched him stare at the flames with sorrow in his eyes.

"Hi Ginny," Harry said quietly.

She waved weakly. Ginny wanted to tear away just then but her gaze continued to linger on him, reading him like a book. His emotions played so easily across his illuminated face. She heaved a sigh and slowly but surely began walking up to her dormitory. After reaching her bed and tucking herself in, one last tear trickled down from her eye. "Harry can never love me, it just--just will have to be my secret, my longing--" She closed her eyes, eventually drifting off into a deep sleep that was full of dreams depicting surreptitious love.

I love him

I love him

I love him

But only on my own.