To Live Again

To Live Again

New Beginnings

Seventh Year at Hogwarts

Friday had come all too soon, and it seemed that October had ended quickly. It was now November 5, and she had been in the Hospital Wing for almost a month. In that time, plans for the Yule Ball had begun and Harry became Head Boy, to replace Malfoy.. "Hermione?" Madam Pomfrey called. Frustrated at her predicament, she opened her eyes

"Yes?" she replied.

"Professor McGonagall is here to see you," Madame Pomfrey continued.

"Okay."

"Hermione?" The professor's tone was different, as if it had a caring note in it.

"What?" She raised her head up off of the bed for the first time in days.

"Can I tell you a story?" the Professor continued.

"By all means," she replied flatly.

"Once, there was a young girl who was very smart."

"This isn't about me is it?"

"Not at all, now listen. A young girl, who lived in a small house in the middle of nowhere, found out one day that she was a witch and would be attending Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry. The girl was excited. Time passed and she entered her fifth year at the school. One day, while walking down a corridor after hours, a man approached her from behind and threw her onto the ground. He then proceeded to steal her innocence." She paused for a second and then continued, "Afterwards, there wasn't anyone that could reach her. She left Hogwarts for the rest of the year, and went home for private lessons. Her tutor was one of the most powerful wizards in history, and eventually she trusted him. They fell in love, though they were years apart. One day, they met the monster whom had stolen the girl's innocence. He had completely changed into an unrecognizable monster. He had become a very powerful wizard, and wizards everywhere fear to speak his name."

"Voldemort?" Hermione questioned curiously .

"Yes," The professor replied.

"And the girl is...?"

"That was me. I went to school with Tom Riddle."

"Why are you telling me this?" she asked, perplexed that the Professor would suddenly divulge her life story.

"I want you to trust me. I know that things will never be the same, but there are people out there that you can trust. Professor Dumbledore, for example, is very trustworthy. So is Harry. Ginny and Ron are as well."

"You love Professor Dumbledore?"

"Very much."

"Wow." Hermione knew that the professors were close, but she had no idea they were that close.

"Do you want to talk about what happened?"

"I...I can't." Hermione burst into tears again. Professor McGonagall strode over to Hermione and put her arms around the sobbing girl. Hermione stiffened at first, and then gradually relaxed in the older woman's embrace. It was the first time anyone was able to touch her since the incident. She cried on the Professor's shoulder until she dropped off. Professor McGonagall gently placed her back on the bed and walked out of the room, locking it behind her.

Harry was one of the last people to arrive at breakfast that morning. He reached the table and plopped himself down next to Ron. Ron seemed to be eating at an alarming rate, even for him. Harry proceeded to serve himself, but suddenly Ron pushed himself away from the table and rushed out of the great hall.

"Ron! Hey, wait up!" Harry called, rushing after him. He had to run to catch up. Finally, he caught him just outside the Gryffindor common room. "Ron, why didn't you wait for me?"

"Isn't it obvious, Harry? I don't want to talk to you," Ron replied angrily.

"What did I do?" he asked, taken aback by Ron's angry tone.

"Well, let's see... you're Head Boy, Quidditch Captain, and suddenly Dumbledore decided that you're the only person in the entire school that gets to see Hermione in the Hospital Wing, and the rest of us get no information on how she is doing! I haven't even seen her since this whole thing happened, and I am tired of you getting everything I want!" With that, he gave the password and entered Gryffindor Tower, leaving a very confused Harry behind him. A rather large crowd of Gryffindors had gathered around them.

"It isn't my fault!" he yelled, at Ron's retreating back, "Maybe you should have gone and seen Dumbledore then!"

Ron turned around and walked back towards him. He got dangerously close to Harry's face. "I can't see him! I don't know the password to his office and he probably would have sent me to get you! It's never you're fault is it? No! It's always Malfoy's or You Know Who's! Well guess what! Nobody else is here to take the blame! So whose fault is it now? Mine? Ginny's? Hermione's? Snape's? I'm so tired of your excuses Harry! You have always stood out more than me! No one notices my efforts, my achievements! It happened first with my brothers and now with you! Stay the hell away from me, Harry Potter!

"Ronald Weasley!" Professor McGonagall yelled, while walking towards them. "I have never heard such resentment and anger since when I was in school! Come with me now!" She practically dragged him off in the midst of his protests. They headed toward her office, and she berated him all the way there. "In all my years at Hogwarts I have never heard anything like that! What possessed you? Your best friend is lying in the hospital wing, so distressed that she won't let anyone come near her, and all you can do is have a row with Harry! It is not his fault that she doesn't want to see anyone but Harry!" They had reached Professor McGonagall's office now. She gave the password and pointed to a chair in front of the desk. "Sit!"

"But I thought the Headmaster let him go see her no matter what she said?" he replied, "That is what Harry told us, " he replied,

"Professor Dumbledore would never let anyone near her without her permission! He told her to pick one person, and it was Harry! It had nothing to do with Harry being famous. I am shocked that you did not learn your lesson in your fourth year! Harry rarely does anything for himself!" Ron flinched at the memory of how stupid he was back then.

"But he always gets all the attention! Professor Dumbledore never wants to see me! He never asked how I was doing! It's always about Harry. This time it's different. I don't want to be friends with him anymore."

"I expected more character than that from you, Mr. Weasley. Go see Professor Dumbledore. I daresay that you'll finally get the chance to talk to him." Ron didn't move. "Go Mr. Weasley!"

"Can I have the password?" he asked.

"Reeses Pieces. Now go. He'll be expecting you"

Ron strode out of the room and headed towards Dumbledore's office. Once there, he gave the password, and the gargoyle moved aside. When he reached the top of the moving stairs, he found the Headmaster at his desk, waiting for him.

"Ah, Mr. Weasley. I had heard you were coming to see me," Professor Dumbledore said.

"More like sent to you," Ron replied insolently.

"Well, it seems that you and Harry have been fighting in the corridors? I am most disappointed in you. I thought you to be more responsible that that. That is why I chose you as Prefect."

"Yeah, well, then you chose Harry as Head Boy, when he never even was a Prefect."

"Harry is someone that people look up to. He has a commanding sense of power as well as a grasp of handling great responsibility. He will go far. So will you. Do not think that I say this to make you angry. Everyone has his or her strengths, and his or her weaknesses. You need to understand this, Ron, or you will never be able to have lasting relationships."

"Well, this is one relationship that is over. I need to be on my own for a while, not just known as Harry's best friend!"

"I am sorry to hear that. However, I do understand. Now, what will we do for your punishment?"

"Punishment?" Ron asked, incredulous.

"Of course. We cannot have this kind of behavior in our Prefects."

"But..."

"I am suspending you from Prefect duties until further notice. You will report to Professor McGonagall for detention every day for next two weeks. I think she can come up with appropriate punishment for you. You may go now, Mr. Weasley."

"Two weeks! Two! How is that fair?" he protested.

"You were fighting in the corridors. You were very rude to Professor McGonagall, and to me when you came in. Two weeks is the perfect amount of time. I will also be writing to your parents."

"To my parents? What for?" questioned Ron, unsure of why that was necessary.

"I believe they will have their own input into this matter. Mrs. Weasley's tones haven't been heard in the Great Hall since your second year." At this, Ron turned very white.

"Fine. I don't care." Ron stomped out of the office in a huff.

"Oh, but you do, Ron," Dumbledore softly called into the silence.

"Harry, what the hell just happened?" Ginny asked as Harry came back down to the breakfast table.

"I don't know! Ron just blew up at me because he can't see Hermione!" Harry replied, while he served himself a generous helping of eggs.

"Well, we are all a bit angry about that," she said testily. Then seeing the angry look on his face, "I didn't mean it that way, Harry, it's just that no one gets to see her, and we are worried. If she wants to see you, then that's fine."

"She doesn't want to, Dumbledore made her see someone."

"Oh please, Harry! Do you really think that Dumbledore would let someone in that she didn't want to see? He probably told her to pick someone."

"Oh," he said, in between bites of food.

"Ron didn't see that either. He thinks that you get to see her because you are the 'Famous Harry Potter, The Boy Who Lived'. Honestly, he's a stupid git."

"Maybe I am too."

"Yeah, but we already knew that," she teased.

"Seriously!" he whined.

"Oh stop! I am not going to let you go into one of your 'Oh, everything sucks for me, pity me please' modes!" she promptly replied.

"I don't know what you're talking about."

"Oh please! Like the time in your fifth year when you were afraid that you were being possessed by You-Know-Who? You locked yourself up and wouldn't see anyone for days."

"That was different. You would have done the same thing."

"Yeah, probably. Really, we've all been stupid the past few weeks. I imagine that Ron is in deep trouble right now," she guessed.

"Probably. If it was me, they would have just given me a slap on the hand and went on with it," he assumed.

"Harry, you do get away with a lot. However, so does Ron. He just wants to be the world's biggest git right now, as usual," she explained.

"Yes, but Ron is usually with me when I do something that gets noticed, but he gets ignored."

"Ron is ignored because he is usually remembered as the one who messed up. Besides, the chess game in your first year was his doing, wasn't it? I believe Dumbledore recognized him for that! McGonagall's giant one, right?"

"Yes, but..."

"No buts! Ron always lets himself feel inferior. That's the way he is. I should know, I've lived with him for 15 years!" she exclaimed.

"Yeah, I guess you're right," he conceded.

"He'll come around. If not, I'll force him around."

Harry finished eating and stood up. "Hey, it's time for class. We have Defense against the Dark Arts now." Thanks to the D.A., Ginny was now in the seventh year class. Next year she would be able to take Highly Advanced and Complicated Defense against All Things Dark. Very few students took the class, since it was highly selective in eligibility. Harry, Hermione, Ron, and surprisingly, Neville, were the only ones taking the class that year. They even had to take the regular class as well. Next year, Luna, Ginny, and a couple Ravenclaws and Hufflepuffs that Harry did not know could take the class as well.

"Yeah, let's go before we're late. Professor Lupin will be angry." Lupin had returned after the fiasco with last year's Defense Against the Dark Arts teacher. No one really knew all the details, but rumors were that he was having a relationship with a student.

"Yeah, but probably not as bad as Snape would!"

"Probably not. Let's go." They walked out of the Great Hall towards the classroom.

"Harry," Professor McGonagall called. He had just come up the stairs after dinner. "Are you on your way to Gryffindor Tower?"

"Yeah, I stopped by the hospital wing but Hermione was sleeping."

"Could you could please send Lavender and Parvati up to see me? I need to talk to them about acting as Prefects while Ron and Hermione are indisposed. I'll be in my office."

"What happened to Ron?" he asked.

"He has been suspended from his Prefect duties indefinitely. Normally I wouldn't tell you, but you are Head Boy now, so you're entitled to know."

"Oh. Okay, I'll send the girls to your office." He walked slowly back to the common room. Lavender and Parvati were sitting by the fire. "Hey you two, McGonagall wants to see you."

"What for?"

"Something about acting as Prefects." With that, they burst into giggles and went out through the portrait hole. Harry went up to his room, sat down at his desk and just started to write.

I look into your eyes

And I see a shining star

I see a smiling face

I see a hopeful heart

I know the pain you're going through

And I can feel it too

The hurt that hides behind your eyes

I know how hard you try

And the pain never seems to die

If I could change the world

Blue would be the skies

I would dry the tears that swirled

And tumbled past your eyes

But the pain never seems to die

I would tell you that everything is okay

But I know it takes time

And perhaps, maybe someday

You'll laugh at this silly rhyme

But everything I've said is true

Sometimes it seems you are so far behind

And I hate it when you feel so blue

Your emotion seems so confined

And the pain never seems to die

If I could change the world

I'd do it just for you

I would dry the tears you cried

That tumbled past your eyes

And the pain will someday die

He took the parchment and rolled it up. He then sealed it with the sealing wax and ring that Professor Lupin had given him on his last birthday. The ring was red and gold and had the Potter crest on it. He usually only used it if he was sending an important letter. He also used it for the things that he wrote. 'This one's for Mione. I'll give it to her later,' he thought. He then got up, and lay down, falling asleep almost immediately.

'No! Not again! Draco, stop! Stop! Stop! Stop! STOP IT! NO! No!' Hermione was dreaming, and talking in her sleep. "Draco," she moaned, "Stop, please."

"Hermione! Wake up!" Professor McGonagall had gotten up early that morning, and had decided to go to the Hospital wing and check on Hermione, when she heard her moaning in her sleep. She found her tossing around on her hospital bed.

Hermione screamed, waking up with a jolt. Professor McGonagall was shaking her. "Let go! Let go! Don't touch me! Let go! Please don't touch me! Let me go! Let me go! Let me go!" She frantically tried to get away from Professor McGonagall.

"Hermione! Calm down!" the older woman yelled. With a small hiccup, Hermione sat down and looked at her teacher with wide eyes, tears still streaming down her face.

"It's okay. No one is here to hurt you." The girl let out a small sob before burying her face in her hands. "Hey...It's okay. I'm here for you." The older woman placed her arms comfortingly around the girl. She shuddered, shaking so hard. All that Professor McGonagall could do was hold her. Madam Pomfrey came in.

"I'm sorry Professor. The girl has been having nightmares since it happened. They seem to be steadily growing worse. I didn't want to give her potion though, for I thought that she might become addicted; however, I don't think I have any choice anymore," the nurse explained.

"Hermione was almost incoherent just now, and you tell me that you have been withholding something that she needs? How could you? These dreams could have been prevented long ago!"

"Minerva, please listen to me! You can't understand why I did it! The girl has to face her fears, her nightmares; otherwise they will never go away!"

"I know all about nightmares and facing fears, Poppy! Or have you forgotten?"

"What are you talking about?" Suddenly, realization spread across her face. "Oh...yeah, that...sorry Minerva, it seems I wasn't thinking."

"Get this girl some dreamless sleep potion, and quickly too. She'll work herself into hysterics if this continues."

"Fine." Madam Pomfrey swept out of the room and returned a minute later with a small bottle of purple liquid. She handed it to the Professor. "She'll need to drink all of this. Are you going to stay?"

"For a while."

"Good. She needs someone besides Harry Potter to keep her company."

Professor McGonagall gave the potion to Hermione, who gulped it down. The girl fell back to sleep in seconds, still leaning against her Professor. "Yeah, but you know she chose him."

"I imagine that Ron wasn't too happy?"

"I found him screaming at Harry yesterday. I sent him off to the Headmaster. He honestly believed that the Headmaster chose Harry, instead of letting Hermione choose. The Headmaster gave him detention for a week and wrote to his parents. Dumbledore also suspended his Prefect duties, indefinitely. He will serve detention with me. I daresay I can come up with something appropriate for him to do. I imagine the infirmary needs cleaning, for starters, hmm?"

"Certainly, I'm sure I have some used bedpans and around here somewhere. Serves him right, being so daft not to realize that."

"Yes, well, we all have blind spots sometimes."

"Yes. Well, I must attend to other patients. Stay as long as you like." The nurse left and went bustling around the other ward. She accosted Colin Creevey on the way out. He was trying to sneak in to get a picture of Hermione. She spun him around and escorted him out of the wing, threatening to give him detention if she caught him anywhere near the Hospital Wing unless he was injured. Professor McGonagall gently laid Hermione down and took up residence in Harry's chair. She watched the girl for a while; her breathing was much calmer now. She looked so small and frail though, lying there, she barely made a lump in the blankets. 'I'll have to make sure Poppy is giving her enough to eat,' she thought. Slowly, she got up, and left the Hospital Wing.

The next morning was Saturday, and Harry awoke with a start. Someone was screaming inside his head. It sounded like Hermione, but he couldn't be sure. It seemed like an echo of her presence was in his head. After rolling over, he noticed a letter on his end table that said Harry James Potter on the outside. Picking it up, he realized that it was from the Ministry of Magic. He started to read:

Dear Mr. Potter.

The trial of Draco Lucius Malfoy will commence on Wednesday, November 10, at 10:00 AM. We strongly request your presence. Should you fail to appear on this day, we may hold you in contempt of court and sentence you to heavy fines.

The charges against Mr. Malfoy are:

Two counts of Battery and Assault

One count of Infanticide

One count of Deception

One count of Attempted Murder

We ask that you be prompt. The Headmaster, Albus Dumbledore, will have you excused from all missed classes.

Good Day,

Amelia Bones

Amelia Bones

Department of Magical Law Enforcement

Putting the letter down, he sighed. "Just what I needed to start the day. I wonder if Hermione knows. I'm going to find out." He pulled on a pair of jeans and his Weasley sweater and walked down to the common room.

"Harry!" It was Ginny. She lay sprawled on a couch in the corner.

"Hey Gin," he replied, "I just got this letter from the Ministry." He walked over and plopped down next to her.

"You too? I wonder if Ron got one."

"You mean you're going too?"

"Of course, I have to go; it says so in the letter! Didn't you read it?"

"I skimmed it," he protested.

"That figures, just like Hermione said."

"She said what?"

"Nothing, nothing," she smirked.

"Speaking of Hermione, I am going to see her."

"Do you think she will see me?"

"Do you want to try?"

"Might as well. She might be in a good mood today, hopefully." 'Not likely,' she thought. Ginny was devastated at Hermione's self-isolation.

"If not, you'll get to see her at the trial, if she's going."

"She has to. Binding magical contracts and such if she got a letter."

"I didn't know that." Harry was once again flustered at his lack of knowledge of wizarding policies.

"It's designed so that they can find you at once if you fail to show up."

"Well, I better make sure I'm there then," he said, getting to his feet. "Come on, let's go." He pulled her up from the couch and they left the room. Three staircases and numerous hallways later, they arrived.

"Hello Harry," Madam Pomfrey called when they walked in, "and Ginny."

"Hello," they replied in unison.

"I'm sorry, but Hermione has just had some sleeping potion and won't be seeing anyone for a few hours," she explained, "I recommend coming back after lunch."

"So you've finally given it to her? About time, if you ask me," Harry replied

"I didn't ask you, Mr. Potter."

"Okay then, we'll just come back." They left the hospital wing and headed back toward the dormitory.

"Breakfast, Harry? We haven't gone yet, and we still have time. Or we could just go walk around the lake."

"I'm not really hungry," he replied.

"Lake it is then," she concluded. They left the castle and started a relatively slow pace around the lake.

"Do you think there is a chance that Malfoy could get off?" Ginny asked.

"Well, his father won't be there, so no. And could we talk about something else please?"

"I found out why McGonagall wanted to see the gossip queens."

"Lavender and Parvati? Why?"

"They will be organizing this year's Yule Ball."

"Oh, sounds nice."

"Do you have any idea who you would take?"

Harry thought for a second, and then said, "Hermione, if she'll go. I am going to need help convincing her."

"You should get her some new robes, maybe in a symbolic color. A color that means something to you that she will like."

"That is a good idea. I have another one too."

"Really? What is it?"

"It's classified information for now. You'll find out at the ball."

"Come on, tell me!"

"No. You'll find out soon enough," he teased.

"Fine," she pouted. They had now walked halfway around the lake.

"Let's just go inside. I have a Potions essay to write, on the top ten nasty poisons and how to identify and counteract them."

As it turns out, his Potions essay took most of the day, and he and Ginny didn't get to see Hermione until after dinner.

"Harry, I am glad that Ginny cares, but I don't want to see her right now," Hermione said.

"Okay, I'll tell her," he replied. He walked out of her room. "Ginny..."

"I know Harry, thanks though. I'll just go back to the common room. See you later!" she practically ran out of the room. He walked back into Hermione's room and sat down in his usual chair.

"Harry?"

"Yes 'Mione?"

"Could you..." She seemed to be struggling with the right words. "Could you help me name my baby?"

"Of course I will Hermione! You don't even have to ask!" he exclaimed.

"Madam Pomfrey said it was a girl. She did the gender spell when I found out I was pregnant."

"Do you have any ideas?" he asked.

"Not really."

"How about Anne?"

"No way! I can't have my mom's name be my child's name. They don't know yet, by the way. I asked Dumbledore not to tell them. They will be at the trial though, since they are my parents."

"How about Guinevere?" he said abruptly, trying to change the subject.

"Where did you come up with that?"

"It's the name of a witch I was researching. She invented some complicated charm."

"It's also another version of King Arthur's wife. She had an affair with Sir Lancelot."

"Really? I didn't know that."

"Yeah. I love Arthurian Legends because they all involve Merlin. "

"Oh. How about Marie?"

"No, that's my middle name," she explained.

"So you want a name that no one else around you has?"

"Yes," she replied.

"I have the perfect name."

"Tell me!" she demanded.

"Karilyn."

"What?"

"Karilyn or Kari for short."

"Where on earth did you come up with that?" she said, with a look of bewilderment on her face.

"I read this book once..."

"You read a book!" she teased.

"Yes! I found it when I was little. It was called Elfshadow, and was about a half-elf with no heritage but a moonblade."

"I've read about those! They are supposed to be very powerful."

"Anyways, she finds out she is a Princess, daughter to the exiled Princess Amnestria."

"This half-elf is named Karilyn?"

"No, it's Arilyn, but I thought you would like to shorten it to Kari."

"I like it," she proclaimed.

"Really?"

"Yes. I can always call her my little Princess," Hermione explained.

"Good. I'm glad."

"I just wish she were really here," she sobbed.

He instantly moved to her side and put his arms around her. She buried her face in his chest. "I know."

"I was so stupid, Harry."

"That's okay. We're all entitled to a little stupidity occasionally. Well, except for Ron, who feels the need to be stupid regularly." She chuckled at his words.

"Well, Ron will always be Ron."

"I'll say," he replied, then flinched at his tone. He hadn't meant to imply anything out of the ordinary with Ron. Of course, she noticed it.

"Did something happen?"

"No," he lied, and then changed the subject. "Hey, are you ever going to want to see anyone?"

"It hurts too much, Harry."

"Then why me?"

"I trust you."

"You can trust Ginny too, you know. She desperately wants to see you."

"Harry, it is so hard for me to even see you."

"All right then, I won't force the issue anymore."

"Thank you." They sat up for most of the night, not talking, with Harry holding her. Finally, she fell asleep and he gently laid her down on the bed. He could not fathom why she would not want to see him. He then remembered how he felt after Sirius died. He had not wanted to be around anyone either. Bending down, he kissed her on the temple, and then started his journey back to Gryffindor Tower.