To Live Again

To Live Again

Chapter One

Hospital Wing

"Throughout history, it has been the inaction of those who could have acted; the indifference of those who should have known better; the silence of the voice of justice when it mattered most; that has made it possible for evil to triumph."
-Haile Selassie

Hermione woke up to a horrible stabbing pain in her stomach. She could barely move or remember what had happened. Looking around, she didn't see Draco anywhere. Slowly all senses came back to her. "I have to get out of here," she thought,"I have to find someone, anyone. I need help." She started to crawl towards the door, but a sharp pain in her stomach took her into silence and darkness again.

Ginny Weasley was frantic. Hermione had been missing for two hours, and she wasn't in the library or out by the lake. Ginny wanted to talk to her about earlier today, and what exactly was going on. Worried, she ran into the seventh year boy's dormitory. Since it was still daylight, obviously they were all out enjoying the last few hours of sunlight. She rummaged through Harry's trunk for the Marauders Map, since Harry had told her he got it back just days before. After finding it, with the customary 'I solemnly swear I am up to no good' line, she started to frantically search for Hermione's dot. She finally spotted it in an empty classroom, but the dot seemed to be disappearing slowly, it was gray instead of black. She didn't want to think about what this meant, so she tore out of the dorm and common room, leaving a stunned Harry and Ron behind.

"Where do you think she's going?" Harry asked, as Ginny sped out of the room.

"Dunno. Didn't she come from our dorm though?" Ron replied.

"Yeah, lets go up and check." They ran up the stairs.

"Hey," said Harry, "Why is the map out of my trunk?" He picked it up and studied it for a few minutes, watching Ginny run through the halls. Then he saw where she was headed, and his heart dropped thirty feet in his chest, He dropped the map and it fluttered to the floor.

"Harry...?" Ron bent to pick up the map. "What is it?

"Ginny is after Hermione."

Ron looked down at the map slowly, dreading what he would find. "Bloody hell! Let's go!" They ran out of the room.

Ginny was making excellent time, considering she had to dodge students and teachers alike, until she reached the classroom. Taking a deep breath, she pushed it open. Hermione stirred, then opened her eyes. They were gray.

"Oh my God!" Ginny screamed, "Hermione, what happened? I've been looking everywhere for you! Who did this to you? Why?"

Hermione struggled, then spoke words that turned Ginny's soul to ice. "Ginny, it was Draco."

"Why did he do this to you?" Ginny was shaking in anger.

"Ginny, I'm pregnant." She collapsed again.

"Oh my God," Ginny whispered, then ran for help. She nearly ran into Ron and Harry as they opened the door.

"What's going on?" Harry asked, as a breathless Ginny ran towards him and Ron. "Did you find her? Is she okay?"

"Come with me! Hurry, I can't carry her alone!" She ran back to Hermione's side with Harry and Ron not far behind.

"Oh my God!" Harry shouted, "What happened?"

"I don't know," Ginny said, "She said something about Malfoy, and something else." She wasn't sure if she wanted to tell them the 'something else', but she would tell Madam Pomfrey, who, she suspected, already knew.

"Let's get her to the hospital wing," Ron said quietly, speaking for the first time. He looked livid.

Harry picked her up and carefully carried her up to the hospital wing with Ginny and Ron trailing him. Ginny could see the anger and hatred written on Harry and Ron's faces. She knew they would kill Malfoy the first chance they got, and she was glad she had not said anything about Hermione being pregnant; otherwise, they would be taking off after him now.

Madam Pomfrey greeted them at the door. "Oh my goodness! What happened! I just saw her this morning! Here, bring her in here so I can examine her." She led them into a small room where they wouldn't be disturbed. Harry gently laid her on the bed. The nurse cast a few necessary spells, including a calming charm, a form of an immobilizing charm, and a few basic healing charms, then turned back to face them. "What happened?" she sternly asked.

"We're not really sure, she said something about Draco Malfoy and something else," Ginny said, "I think you know what the something else was."

"Indeed I do, having tested her this morning. I take it that Draco is the father?"

"Apparently, or it belongs to someone else and he found out."

"I believe it is Draco's."

"What is going on here?" Harry said, "what do you mean Malfoy's the father? The father of what?"

"Yeah, what do you ladies know that we don't?" added Ron.

Madam Pomfrey turned to them slowly. "Hermione is pregnant, about three and a half months, at least I think. It will be hard to say with all the damage that has been done to her by whoever did this. She is likely to miscarry, among other things."

"What does that mean?" Ron asked, barely controlling himself, which was odd for him, with his temper.

"It means she will lose the baby, Ron." Harry replied. "Madam Pomfrey, is she going to recover? How bad is it?"

The nurse cast a few diagnostic spells that spread a glow around her. They watched as the first one turned red, the next one blue, and the last one black. Ginny gave a barely audible gasp as the last one took effect. "She has a broken arm, shattered pelvis, and three cracked ribs, as well as bruises and internal bleeding. Her physical state will recover. The red spell shows broken bones, the blue one internal injuries, and the black one shows the status of the baby. Obviously, the first two spells are based on deepness of color, while the last one turns either green, yellow, or black. Black means that she will lose or has already lost the baby. Her mental state is difficult to decipher right now because she doesn't know about the baby, and she may not realize what has really happened to her."

"But eventually?" Harry asked, "Will she ever be okay again?" Harry was angry. You could see it in his eyes, which had gone from sparkling green to a deep shade of forest green.

"It's hard to say," she replied, "But anyway, I need you all out so I can take care of Miss Granger. Her body should expel the baby soon. You may come back up after dinner, but I can't promise she will be better or even awake."

"Okay," Harry said, "let's go." Ron and Ginny quietly followed him out.

"I'll kill that bloody ferret for this." Ron whispered, his voice filled with deadly intent. They were walking back from dinner, which had been entirely Malfoy free.

"Not before I do." The boys looked at Ginny in surprise, her words were filled with anger they had never felt from her. "What?" she asked, "You think you are the only ones who care?"

"No, It's just that you feel so cold," Ron replied, "I haven't seen you this mad in a while. Ever since Percy left the house two years ago."

"So?" she calmly replied.

"You guys go ahead, I'm going to the hospital wing." Harry said.

"Are you sure?" Ron asked, "we could go with you."

"Harry needs to be alone with her Ron, don't be insensitive. Let's go," Ginny replied.

"I'm not..."Ron stammered, but Ginny held a finger up to silence him.

"Thanks Gin, I appreciate this," Harry said.

"Bye Harry," Ginny said, while giving him a hug.

"See ya, mate." Ron said.

Ron and Ginny walked silently to the common room.

Harry walked slowly to the hospital wing. He wasn't sure if Pomfrey would even let him in yet. However, when he arrived, she sent him back to the little room without a further glance at him. Harry pulled a chair in by Hermione's bedside. He took her hand and rubbed small circles on the palm. Her face was so battered and bruised he could barely stand to look at her. He began to speak, hoping that she would wake up and smile at him again. "Hermione, come back to me. I can't live without you. I know it is hard, and I know that when you wake up things are going to be a lot different, but you have to believe that nothing like this will happen again, not while I am around, I promise. Please, be okay when you wake up. I need you." He sat there for a long time, talking to her, crying, and hoping to see her brown eyes flutter open. Finally, he drifted off to sleep. Some time later, Pomfrey came in and gently shook him awake.

"Mr. Potter, you have to leave now, you need rest. You have class tomorrow."

"But..."

"No buts. You can't do her any good if you are sick yourself. Now come on, out you go. She needs total rest as well."

Harry reluctantly left the wing, heading for the dorms. On the way, he met Ginny, who had come looking for him.

"Lo, Ginny."

"Are you okay Harry?"

"No."

"I am so sorry. I never even guessed."

"Neither did I. The bastard loved her once, what the hell happened?"

"Maybe when she told him, he snapped."

"Right. Or maybe he is better at lying than we thought."

"I don't think so."

"Lets go back to the common room."

"Okay." They walked back slowly to the common room. At the portrait door, Ginny gave the password.

"Fuego helado¹." The door swung open. They looked around, but Ron wasn't in sight.

"Gonna go to bed," Harry told her.

"Okay," she replied.

Upon arriving in his dorm, he heard Ron's snoring, telling him he was asleep, although it seemed a little loud, even for Ron. He fell onto his bed and pulled the curtains closed. "Silencio," he whispered, not wanting to be disturbed. What if she woke up and he wasn't there? Would she be afraid? Would Draco go and see her? Would Pomfrey let him? Probably not, he decided. Malfoy is probably already suspended from school, even if his father protests. Oh God, what have you done, Malfoy? I'll kill you. I'll kill you.

"I'LL KILL YOU!" The words startled him, he hadn't realized he'd spoken out loud. After dissolving into fresh tears, he fell into an uneasy sleep.

In the other side of the castle, Hermione woke with a start. She couldn't move. "Harry?" she called. She was so sure that it had been him that screamed, that voice was unmistakable. She fought to move, and finally succeeded in getting her arm free. However, as soon as she did so, pain began to run up and down her arm, sending her unconscious again.

Over the next few days, Harry never left her side unless forced to by class, or the nurse, who insisted that if he was determined to miss breakfast and dinner by being there, he at least had to eat lunch. Harry protested immensely, so finally she told him he had to eat, even if he just brought a sandwich with him. Harry grew more and more depressed as the weeks went by. After almost three weeks it had become routine. One night, he fell asleep in the same position he had many times.

Hermione slowly woke up to a dull ache all over her body. She felt someone holding her hand. She quickly jerked it away, and then moaned at the pain a simple movement caused. She realized that Harry had been holding her hand, and now he was looking at her with a worried sort of smile, having just awakened

"Hello Hermione," he said, "Nice to see sleeping beauty awakes, I was thinking about giving you a kiss, but then you woke up all on your own!"

"Hi Harry. Am I hurt that bad?"

"Well..."

"Please tell me the truth."

"You lost the baby, but all of your broken bones have been healed by Nurse Pomfrey, as well as most of your internal bruises."

"Oh God," she said, breaking into tears. Harry reached to hug her, but she pushed him away. "Please don't touch me! I can't bear it!"

"Calm down, Hermione, I am not here to hurt you."

"Where is Draco? How long have I been here?"

"You've been out for two weeks and five days. Draco is suspended from school, with a hearing pertaining to his expulsion. He can't hurt you anymore Hermione."

"Really, cause I think that this will continue to hurt for a long time. You can't promise he won't hurt me anymore."

Harry just looked at her, shocked at her words. "I, Harry Potter, do solemnly swear that if Malfoy ever, EVER, comes near you again, he will wish I would give him Avada Kedavra and get it over with." Then, in a whisper he said, "even if I can't promise that it won't hurt now." Hermione didn't seem to hear him.

"Thanks Harry. Could you go for a while? I have to sort through some things in my mind."

"Okay." He looked hurt, but nodded his head and turned to leave.

"Harry?"

He turned around. "Yes?"

"Could you send Pomfrey in?"

"Sure." He walked out and the nurse hurried in a few minutes later.

"What is it Hermione?"

"I want absolutely no visitors. Don't let anyone through this door, please. I don't want to see anyone."

"But what about Harry? He has barely left your side. I even had to force him to eat!"

"Especially Harry."

"Okay. I agree that you need total rest, but if the headmaster comes, he has authority, you know."

"I know." The nurse left her room, shutting the door and locking it behind her.

Hermione broke down and cried for hours, with Nurse Pomfrey coming in to give her some sort of potion or healing charm occasionally. She heard Ginny and Ron and Harry come in, all separately of course, but as she had told Madam Pomfrey, she wanted absolutely no visitors. A few days later though, the headmaster came in to talk to her.

"Hermione, Professor Dumbledore is here. He wants to talk to you, and he won't take no for an answer. I'm going to send him in," Madam Pomfrey said, poking her head inside the door.

"Okay." The nurse winced. Hermione's voice was cold and listless, as if all life had gone out of her.

"Miss Granger?" The headmaster was wearing robes of deep blue, with moons and stars on them. She tried to concentrate on them instead of his face. She didn't want to see the look of pity that would be etched there.

"Yes?"

"I'm not going to ask if you are okay, because I know that these things take time to heal. Yet you cannot seclude yourself like this. You need to have a friend, someone that can help you through this. You may choose, but whoever you choose will be able to see you at any reasonable time, for any reasonable length of time, unless you have a valid reason to send them away."

"Okay."

"Who would you like to give this privilege to?"

"Harry."

"Okay then. I will speak with him."

"Okay."

Professor Dumbledore left the room.

Harry, Ron, and Ginny sat in the sixth year boy's dorm. They were silent for a while, until Ron spoke.

"I'll kill him if I ever see him again." This was becoming a frequent phrase out of Ron's mouth.

"Not before I do," Harry replied.

"I think one of my famous Bat Bogey hexes will do just nicely until you guys kill him," she said, then added, "after all, he didn't much like it last year."

"What are we going to do about Hermione? Will she trust us anymore? Will she trust anyone?" Harry asked, going into one of his frequent rants."

"I am sure she will be fine," Ron said, barely concealing his doubt.

"I don't know, she was broken inside, I could feel it. She won't be the same Hermione, not for a long while," Harry stated.

"I just can't believe this has happened. When did she start dating Malfoy? When did she start sleeping with him?" Ginny asked, disbelief written on her face.

"We don't know, exactly, it was sort of an accident that we found out in the first place, and that was only three weeks ago." Ron said.

"ARE YOU CRAZY? DID YOU EVEN REALIZE YOUR BEST FRIEND HAD CHANGED? WHAT KIND OF FRIENDS ARE YOU?" Ginny yelled, and then before she could stop herself she added, "WHAT KIND OF A FRIEND AM I?"

"Ginny, calm down," Harry said, "Hermione is the smartest witch in our school. Of course she can hide anything from the likes of us."

"Yeah, and even if we had known, do you really think we could have stopped her?" Ron added.

Ginny sat back down with an exasperated sigh. "I know. I just don't know what to do."

"You need to talk to her, she needs a friend," Ron declared.

"No, I can't. She does not trust me. I found that out when she did not tell me about her pregnancy in the first place. Harry has to be that friend. He understands her better than any of us," She replied.

"You're right," Ron replied, "It has to be you, mate."

"Okay," Harry said, "I am going to go see Professor Dumbledore." He walked out of the room. He came to a stop in front of the gargoyle that guarded Dumbledore's office. He then realized that once again he did not know the password. "I should just ask him for it at the beginning of the year, I come up here enough," he thought. "Well, here goes," he said, "Cockroach Cluster?" No response from the gargoyle. "Peanut Brittle?" Nope. "Lemon Drop?" Still nothing, so he rattled off every kind of wizard candy he could think of, as well as a few muggle ones.

"Reeses Pieces," said a voice behind him. Harry jumped and found the headmaster behind him, and the gargoyle moved. "I have just recently tried those and found them to be quite excellent."

"Professor Dumbledore, I need to talk to you?"

"Ah, yes, I thought that is what you wanted. Well, let us take this conversation to my office, shall we?" They walked up the stone steps. Harry paced the room while the headmaster settled into his chair. "So, about Miss Granger," he said.

"I don't know what to do! She seems so broken, and I just want to kill Malfoy, and anyone else who dares to touch her. I don't understand why this has happened. She won't even let us near her! I'm in agony because she is, and I feel helpless because I can't do anything! What should I do?"

Albus Dumbledore looked at Harry intently for a long time. "How long have you loved her, Harry?"

The question shocked Harry, but he collected himself and said, "I don't know, maybe since forever?"

"There is your answer. Love her, but don't push her. Show her she can trust you. Give her time. She will eventually come around, but be aware that it might take years before she returns to her old self, and even then, she will be different. Never give her the impression that you would hurt her, for that will destroy everything you worked so hard for."

"Yes, sir."

"Furthermore, I will tell Madam Pomfrey that you are allowed to see Miss Granger, whenever you want, unless she is sleeping, or specifically denies you the privilege with good cause. She cannot stay alone anymore; it is detrimental to her health." He decided not to tell Harry that she gave the privilege to him.

"Okay."

"You may go and see her starting tomorrow."

"Thank you sir." He turned to leave and had a sudden thought. "Sir?"

"Yes?"

"Who was it that you loved back to life?"

"Minerva McGonagall."

"Oh," he replied, and then left.