You Live, You Learn

Chapter 3: Love Hurts

Ginny ran up to the Fat Lady. She was crying. She sobbed the password and the portrait swung open. She hoped no one was in the common room, but there were people. Ron, Harry, and Hermione were in the common room. Hastily, she whipped the tears away. Streaks were the tears were on her face.

"Gin what's wrong?" Ron asked.

"Are you okay?" Harry inquired

"What happened?" Hermione asked looking concerned. The three questions were fired at her.

"Nothing. Nothing, I am fine, just very tired. I am going to bed, good night." She walked up to her dormitory; she was the only one in there. All the other girls had left to go back home during Christmas vacation. Ginny buried her face in a pillow.

"Ginny are you really okay?" Hermione had followed her upstairs. Ginny looked up.

"I am sorry about what I said before I just, don't know what I was doing," Ginny apologized as she thought back to when she had called Hermione a know-it-all.

"It's fine," Hermione answered. Ginny was talking about. "I just want to know if you are okay now." Ginny looked up. She had never been able to lie to Hermione.

"I just..."

"Look Ginny, I won't tell Ron or Harry if you don't want me to. You can trust me."

"Well you see..." Ginny ended up telling Hermione everything. Everything except how she felt about Draco.

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The next morning at breakfast there were not many people since many had gone home over he holidays. The only people there were Harry, Ron, Hermione, Draco, Crabbe, Goyle, an older Slytherin, a Ravenclaw student, and herself. Ginny could feel Draco's eyes on her when she walked in. She walked over to her table, sat down, and buttered herself some toast.

"Ginny?" Harry and Ron asked at the same time; they were already in the middle of breakfast.

"Yeah?"

"What was up with you last night?" Ginny gave a fake laugh.

"Nothing at all."

"Were you crying? Your looked like you were."

"It was just raining."

"Did it rain last night?" Ron asked.

"Yes," Hermione said, coming up to them and sitting down. "You should go outside more often Ron. Besides for Quidditch."

Ginny laughed softly. She looked up from her plate. Draco's eyes were still on her. She made eye contact with him, but he continued to stare.

"GIN?" She jerked her head up.

"Yeah?"

"Nothing, you just were staring very hard in the Slytherin direction. Just wondering what you were doing," Ron said. Ginny gave a hollow laugh, very unlike her normal one.

"I wasn't looking at the Slytherins. You know what? I am going to go outside, I am going to skip breakfast." And with that last remark, she left the Great Hall, not knowing that Draco Malfoy was right behind her.

"Is Malfoy following Ginny?" Ron asked, craning forward to see better. Hermione forced herself to laugh.

"No Ron. You are just an over protective brother," Hermione lied. She hoped Ginny knew what she was doing.

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"GINNY!" a voice called. Ginny turned around. It was Draco. Any good mood that Ginny may have had had vanished.

"What do you want?" she asked coldly.

"Ginny we have to talk," Draco said.

"Well we just did. Bye." She walked off.

"Ginny, look I am sorry," Draco said running after her. "I mean I can't help it with the potion and everything."

"Okay Malfoy," Ginny snapped. "You cannot blame everything on this potion. And all the stuff you are saying right now is bullshit. You know I do not want to talk to you, yet you are still following me and god damn bugging me." Ginny headed back to the castle and this time Draco did not follow.

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Ginny couldn't hide what she truly felt. She had feelings for Draco, and over the past week she was not sure what those feelings were. She tried to hate him, but she could not bring herself to it. She tried to love him, but she could not. Every day seeing Draco in the Great Hall during breakfast, was like it was tearing away a piece of her soul. She longed to ask him if he had figured out the love potion yet, or just ask him anything to start a conversation. But Ginny didn't think she could handle talking to him, knowing that he was under a love potion and everything he said would mean nothing. Ginny wanted to talk to him, listen to him, look into his beautiful gray eyes once again, and just to hear his voice. Ginny jerked her head up. Someone had entered the library. Her heart skipped a beat. She hoped it was Draco. It wasn't. It was Harry Potter.

"Hey Gin. You okay?" he asked. Ginny looked into his green eyes. She remembered how she used to long to have Harry. Now she wanted Draco, Harry Potter's complete opposite. She did not want Draco either, Ginny told herself forcefully, and he did not want her.

"GINNY?" Harry shouted as if he had been shouting it for a while now.

"Yeah?"

"Are you okay? This past week, you have seemed a little..." Harry tried to find the right words. "Weird."

Ginny put on a fake smile.

"I am fine, why wouldn't I be fine?" Ginny repeated, as if trying to convincer herself. "I am fine."

"Gin, you can tell me anything. If you want I won't tell you anyone if you don't want me to," Harry smiled at Ginny, urging her to tell him more.

"There is nothing to tell," Ginny lied. "I have to go now, see you."

Ginny left Harry in the library.

"Okay, if you say so Ginny," Harry said, even thought she was not there.

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Ginny headed back towards the Gryffindor common room. She passed the Entrance Hall when she stopped. She stared at the doors. She wanted to go outside, trudge through the snow, and get lost in her thoughts. She wasn't sure whether to go back to the common room or to walk outside. Ginny laughed. She wished all her problems could be as easy as this; both of her choices were just as good as each other. Ginny heard footsteps. She spun around. She stopped breathing. Draco Malfoy stood before her.

"Hello, I was just, um, going to the library," he said, gesturing towards the direction of the library.

"Okay," Ginny said, wishing she had more to say to him.

"Okay then," Draco started to walk off. Ginny opened her mouth to say something to stop him so they could talk, but nothing came out. Draco was gone. Ginny had missed her chance that might have been her only opportunity.

"GOD! WHY CAN'T I JUST SAY SOMETHING? HAVE I GONE MUTE?" she shouted at herself, her voice ringing after. Ginny placed her head up against the cold wall. She was breathing heavily, and she couldn't stop. After a while she lifted her head from the wall and walked towards to door. She made her decision; she was going to take a walk outside.