My Biggest Mistake

My Biggest Mistake

"I...I don't think that this is going to work out," I stumbled over the words, my heart pounding. His face fell.

"You what?" he croaked.

"I can't do this anymore. Look, this is just too hard to hide our relationship from everyone. And..." I lost my trail of thought when I got the nerve to look up in his gray eyes. They were usually soft and bright, in a way. Now, they are like stone and drained of emotion.

"I'm sorry," I whispered and reached out to touch his arm, to comfort him.

"No," he said, his voice forceful. He pushed my hand away. "Just forget it. Just forget everything about me." He turned to walk out of the room.

"Draco, please wait." He paused for a moment and then turned around. His jaw was set firmly and his eyes were full of fury.

"What do you want now?" he asked through clenched teeth. I opened my mouth to speak, but I had forgotten what I was going to say. He stared at me, waiting for me to talk. When I said nothing, he rolled his eyes impatiently and left. I leaned up against the wall and talked to myself.

"Come on Gin, you wanted this. He is a Malfoy for God's sake." I began to pace and bite my lip. "Come on, just do what he said. Forget about him."

****

I headed to breakfast next morning with my nose buried in a book. Hermione had recommended it to me. It was called Romeo and Juliet.

"Hey Gin," Harry said as he brushed by me on his way to breakfast.

"Morning." Someone else walked by me. I looked up and once I did I took a step back. It was Draco.

He looked at me for a moment, but looked away and then continued on his way back to breakfast.

"Morning Gin," Hermione walked next to me.

"Morning Hermione."

We headed into the Great Hall with students' voices buzzing.

"So, what's up?" Hermione asked as she sat down at the breakfast table. "Are you enjoying the book?"

"Yes, it is really quite good." Hermione smiled and began to eat.

"Good."

I looked up at the Slytherin table. I don't exactly know why I did; I suppose it was out of habit. Draco and I had always smiled at each other in the morning as a greeting.

I smiled to myself, but this time there was no Draco to smile back. I began to pick at my breakfast.

****

I was on my way to Muggle Studies when I first saw them. They were walking each other to class, huddled up at the edge of the hallway.

Pansy was all over him. She was batting her fake eyelashes furiously and flirting madly. I gritted my teeth together as I walk by the two.

I didn't expect him to wallow in despair after I dumped him, but two days later and he has Pansy Parkinson down his pants?

Ginny Weasley, a voice in the back of my head yelled, you broke up with him! You had the choice to leave him and you took it!

I slammed the door to the classroom and stormed over to my desk, right next to Colin Creevy's. I slid back in my chair and stared blankly at the wall.

"Hi Ginny," Colin said from next to me.

"Hi," I replied, my eyes still on the wall.

"So, what did you think of that essay that Professor Sprout gave us?"

"It's fine," I answered, my tone of voice indicating, "This conversation is over". Colin took the hint and began to write something. I couldn't help, but watch him out of the corner of my eye.

He was scribbling madly on a piece of paper, occasionally dipping his quill in his ink. I saw my name on the paper. I raised myself out of my seat and leaned over to try and see what he was writing, but I couldn't see any better.

"What are you writing Colin?" He hid the paper under his arm.

"Nothing," he answered. I opened my mouth to say more, but the teacher, Professor Chubb, came into the room and began the lesson.

****

At dinner I couldn't take my eyes off him. I watched the way he laughed and talked to the people around him. I watched the way his shoulder blade moved as he cut his food.

I closed my eyes in frustration. I was obsessed. I ran my hand through my hair. God, I was obsessed.

It was killing me; I had to see what Colin had written. I couldn't concentrate on anything else. It was just a stupid little scribbling, but to me, it was the only thought on my mind.

Ever since he had written on that parchment, I couldn't think of anything else.

It even took my mind of Pansy and Draco. I didn't seem to see them around school as much; in fact, I barely saw them together at all.

I rose out of my chair. I had to ask Colin what he'd written.

"Colin, can we talk?" I asked once I reached where he was sitting. Colin looked up from the conversation he was having with his brother, Dennis.

"Sure Ginny." He turned around in his chair. Dennis leaned in.

"I meant alone," I said, rather rudely. Dennis leaned away and went back to eating his dinner, grumbling.

"Colin, I know this is really stupid and everything, but," I gave a soft laugh. "I have to see what you were writing in Muggle Studies."

Colin furrowed his eyebrow.

"You want to see my notes I wrote today in class?" He went to reach into his book bag.

"No. Two days ago, you wrote something, not for class or anything, and I saw my name on it." Colin looked as if he was thinking back to remember. Once he did, he said,

"I can't show you that, Ginny."

"Why not?"

"I just can't." I was not satisfied with that answer. I was about to speak again, but Colin beat me to it.

"I have to go." And with that, he left, in the middle of dinner, leaving a piece of parchment behind. I stared at that parchment. It was begging for me to pick it up and read it.

Dennis stared at me for a moment, but then started to talk to another Gryffindor.

I picked up the parchment and hastily stuffed it into my pocket. I looked up.

Draco was staring at me from across the room. Once I made eye contact he quickly made a face of disgust and went back to his dinner. And I went back to mine.

****

Later in the Gryffindor common room, I was working up the guts to read Colin's piece of parchment.

Just read it! It might not even be what you were looking for. It could just be notes for a class! Just take the note out of your pocket.

I took the note out of my pocket.

Now unfold it and read it.

It stayed, folded, in my hand.

"I can't do this," I whispered. Hermione, who was sitting across from me, looked up.

"You can't do what?" she asked.

"Nothing, I just have to give this back to someone." I pushed myself out of my chair and walk over to Colin. I tapped him gently on the shoulder.

"You left this in the Great Hall." I hand him the piece of parchment.

"Thanks. You didn't read it, did you?"

"I didn't." I didn't expect him to believe me, but he shook his head approvingly.

"Then read it now."

"What?"
"Read it, Ginny."

"But, I thought you said tha-"

"Ginny, don't you want to read this?" I shook my head yes. "Then just take it and read it."

I took the paper, and read.

November 13

I am in Muggle Studies right now. Ginny came in, and she seems upset. I know I should ask her what's wrong, but instead I am being a coward and writing to a piece of parchment, not even a journal. I wonder if she knows that

It stopped there. That must have been when I had interrupted him. I handed the parchment back to him.

"There's more," Colin said. "On the back."

I turned the parchment over.

November 15

I don't believe what I just saw. I had walked into the Transfiguration room, to ask Professor McGonagall about something about our final, when I saw two students, each a year older than I, snogging each other.

They were Pansy Parkinson and Draco Malfoy. They didn't seem to notice me. The two continued to mutter heated words under their breath when I heard Draco mutter,

"God, I love you, Ginny Weasley." Pansy had pulled away immediately after he said that. I choose that moment to slip out of the room.

Once I did, I stayed after, listening to their faint voices from outside the door. Pansy mainly yelled at Draco, asking him about Ginny and such. I never heard Draco reply to her. I pictured him standing there with a bored expression on his face, like this was not important. It was a very him thing to do.

I wonder if he meant what he said. I wonder if he really loved, or loves, Ginny. I guess I'll never know.

I looked up from the parchment.

"Did he really say that?" I whispered.
"Yeah he did."

"You're sure?"

"Yes."

I steadied myself and went back to sit in a chair.

"You okay, Ginny?" Colin asked.

"I don't know."

****

I sat in the Gryffindor common room, all alone, and hugged my legs up against me. All that was left of the fire, that was once glowing, was glowing cinders.

I don't know how long I had been sitting here.

Did Draco mean what he said? Had Colin heard correctly? A voice in the back of my head said,

Of course Colin didn't hear correctly. You and Malfoy are over!

If that Malfoy loves you, who cares? You know, the way you have been thinking tonight could lead someone to thinking that you are still in love with him also.

I sat there for a moment, those words sinking into my head. I took out my wand and muttered,

"Lumos." I used the light and headed up to my dorm.

****

I walked over to my bed and collapsed on it. The light on the tip of my wand was gone now, so I sat in utter darkness. My eyes wandered around the room and fell on a book that was sitting on my bedside table.

It was the book Hermione had given me, and I had never finished it. I picked it up, muttered Lumos again, and read.

I never got a wink of sleep.

****

I walked down to breakfast, my eyes red with huge bags under them. I was having trouble staying awake as I walked down the stairs, and I kept tripping over myself.

"Here Hermione," I yawned when I reached the Gryffindor table. I threw the book in front of her.

"You finish reading it?" Hermione asked, not looking up at me.

"Yeah."

"Did you like it?" I shook my head and yawned again. I could hardly remember what I had read last night. I could remember some lines.

Draco, Draco where for out thou Draco?

Refuse the father, and deny thy name.

I began to snore. I had fallen asleep in my breakfast.

****

"Ginny!" I was being shaken.

"Go away," I muttered drowsily. "I'm sleeping."

"Wake up! You promised that you would come to the Quidditch game, and you're going to miss it if you don't wake up now."

"I'm coming, I'm coming!"

****

The game was Gryffindor against Slytherin. I kept falling asleep during it. Hermione and Ron had to keep pinching me to keep me awake.

After being pinched by Hermione again, I watched Harry fly, searching for the Snitch.

He took of with a burst of speed. He must have seen the Snitch. My eyes followed him. He circled the field.

Draco was right behind him. My eyes forgot about Harry then and followed Draco.

The two Seekers flew beside our side of the field. I continued to stare at Draco. He turned his head.

We made eye contact.

Draco seemed to forget about the Snitch because his eyes stayed on me, and my eyes stayed on him.

To me, it was just he and I. I was just watching him fly and practice as we had done before.

I brushed a strand of hair out of my face and my eyes lingered away from him. I stared hard at my feet.

There was a hollow crack and I heard the crowd gasp. I jerked my head up immediately. I saw the Slytherins all standing on their feet and looking down at the ground.

I peered down. I saw Draco lying on the ground, ghostly pale and blood oozing from his head.

"What happened?" I turned to Hermione.

"Malfoy wasn't paying attention and he got hit in the head with a Bludger. Now it looks as if he is unconscious"

Teachers came out onto the field and took Draco away.

"I have to go." I jumped out of my seat and ran back towards Hogwarts, leaving Ron and Hermione wondering where I was going.

****

I made my way into the Hospital Wing and wandered over to Madam Pomfrey.

"Excuse me," I said. "May I see Draco?" Madam Pomfrey looked hesitant, but pointed me to a bed on her left.

I walked over to his bed and sat beside him. His eyes were closed. I didn't say anything, but I did uncertainly take his hand. His hand was a little cut up, but seems like there is no permanent damage done.

My eyes wandered to his face, and I saw the gash on his forehead where the Bludger must have hit him.

"You do know, that I know you're here," Draco said, his eyes still closed. I jumped and dropped his hand.

"God! Did you have to do that?" His eyes opened.

"What are you doing here?"

"I came to see if you were alright."

"Well, I'm fine. You can go now."

"Dr-MALFOY! Don't be such a jerk about this!"

"Why were you staring at me during the Quidditch game?"
"What?"

"You heard me."

"I was just watching the game, and besides, why were you staring at me?"

"I was looking for the Snitch."

"Sure, didn't look like it from where I was sitting."

"Well, maybe from where you were sitting was-"

"You know what Malfoy? I will leave."

"Good."

"Good," I repeated after him. I strode swiftly towards the door, opened it and was about to walk out it when I paused. I turned around and faced him.

"By the way, I know what you said to Pansy while you two were kissing." Draco made a small sound, but I ignored it.

I walked out and let the door slam behind me. I walked briskly down the hallway back to the Gryffindor common room. It was like Colin said,

I guess I'll never know.